Has anyone ever had a celebrity slide into their DMs?

August 11, 2023 8:45 AM

Looking for ppl who have had similar experiences, bc I'm genuinely curious about what I find to be an strange, albeit not unamusing experience.

I was contacted via Instagram DM the other night by an actor. It was late at night and he was self-admittedly drunk and horny (he'd just come home from a night out from seeing a band) and kept telling me I was really cute and sent videos of himself. I found it amusing but also surreal bc…he's a legit actor and I had literally just watched the latest episode of his show earlier in the evening. (For those wondering: I do follow him in Instagram; he is the attractive younger co-star of a critically acclaimed show on AMC/AMC+.)

We flirted back and forth briefly, then I fell asleep. The next morning I saw he'd sent some more messages. I figured that would be the end of that. But he has DMed intermittently since then, and I've responded in kind.

Anyone else experienced something similar? What came of it? Did y'all become friends or what? Curious bc I just find this such a surreal experience.

posted by violetk to Society & Culture (19 answers total)

I have not experienced this, but it has my catfishing spidey senses all a-tingle. Go carefully.
posted by flabdablet at 9:04 AM on August 11, 2023 [39 favorites]

I'd suspect fakers here. The are dozens of Keanu Reeves' on Twitter, for example. Goodness knows what they gain from following grandmas like me.
posted by Enid Lareg at 9:13 AM on August 11, 2023 [14 favorites]

I did once have a celebrity DM me on insta because I caught her posting lyrics ChatGPT had written, rather than herself. We had a brief back and forth about how much ChatGPT sucked, and that was that. A flirtation is a whole other thing!
posted by shadygrove at 9:14 AM on August 11, 2023

I am long time friends (before he made it ) with a professional athlete. I know (he has shown me) when he has gotten drunk and DM'd a follower. He said he does it for the fun of it and has never actually hooked up or followed through, but the reactions he gets are pretty funny. He has been asked to text someone's father who was a big fan. (He did it on the father's birthday.)

Celebrities are people too. You'd be surprised how normal most of them are. I am not talking about the A+ listers, just the person who worked hard for years and finally got some level of fame.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:19 AM on August 11, 2023 [17 favorites]

From a friends experience, it started off with DMs, then before the sex started an NDA showed up that probably would have prevented her from even asking the question that you are asking now, then lots of sex when he happened to be in Los Angeles. Eventually, he stopped calling, but the NDA lives on (effectively) forever.
posted by Back At It Again At Krispy Kreme at 9:23 AM on August 11, 2023 [11 favorites]

This is absolutely a catfish or scammer. Who knows how they got the videos but this is a fairly common scam and I would not engage with it
posted by Amy93 at 10:44 AM on August 11, 2023 [5 favorites]

Agree with a couple of posters above and I'd recommend googling "celebrity romance scams".
posted by mireille at 10:54 AM on August 11, 2023 [1 favorite]

This could certainly be a scam, but if the question is, do celebrities ever engage via DM with 'regular people'?, the answer is unequivocally yes. My knowledge in this area primarily comes from celebrity DMs that have been shared publicly in the context of allegations of misbehavior (e.g. Jared Leto, Nicholas Braun, etc)—it's quite common in those stories for a woman to say that the celebrity in question slid into her DMs, solicited her to meet up, and then they did. Instagram has been a very common app for initiating hookups for years and years, there's no reason to think that celebrities don't use it too.
posted by telegraph at 11:45 AM on August 11, 2023 [12 favorites]

I have met lots of celebrities, observed them as they played this pattern, and know people who have hooked up with them. This guy could absolutely be real and not a catfish.

If you hook up with this guy, here’s what you can likely expect:

- he wants sex and flattery
- he will probably be effusive about your sexiness and chemistry
- he will probably be sexy, charming, emotional, and easy to feel connected with (actors are usually charismatic, funny and warm)
- you’ll have long vulnerable conversations where he discloses his trauma and insecurity and you’ll be amazed how deep and open his is
- he will be observant and communicative so you’ll feel “seen” and special
- you won’t notice for some time that his emotional insight is one way; he will know his own soul fairly well but he won’t really ever get to know yours
- he will have nice lifestyle perks, like money to spend on flights, food, drinks, Ubers, clothes, etc
- he won’t be all that interested in the unglamorous parts of your life- like at best he might come as your date to a wedding where he could show off and feel famous but he wouldn’t, say, come with you to the doctor’s office if you had to have a scary procedure.
- he won’t be monogamous (even if he says he will)
- he will most likely not ever commit to you. Famous actors usually don’t marry outside the business
- he will very likely eventually commit to someone in his industry who gives him “Hollywood power couple cred”.
- he will be self-absorbed and insecure and require a lot of validation and novelty
- you won’t stay friends when the fling burns out, he’ll just drunk text once in a while when he’s bored
- he will be sending those same WYD texts and DMs to dozens of other women, constantly
- he will be fun but exhausting
- you will probably end up feeling used
- it will be a good dinner party story - if you don’t end up feeling embarrassed about it being short lived

If that works for you, why not? I would enter into it expecting a fun fling but nothing more.

Source: I have worked with a lot of famous people and have observed this pattern hundreds of times
posted by nouvelle-personne at 11:57 AM on August 11, 2023 [42 favorites]

Unless those videos specifically reference you by name, I'd lean towards his account being hacked and the hacker is reusing old videos in his account to try to coax nudes for their own enjoyment or possibly blackmail.

The Americans star Mathew Rhys twitter account was recently hacked, although the hacker went with the old "I'm auctioning brand new Macbooks for charity, DM me!" route.
posted by bluecore at 12:14 PM on August 11, 2023 [4 favorites]

My close friend's mother, who is in her 80s, is convinced that she's in an online relationship with Taye Diggs. Obviously she's not. This definitely sounds like a scam.
posted by simonelikenina at 12:38 PM on August 11, 2023 [4 favorites]

It could be a scam, or it could be legit. If you're enjoying it, no reason to keep it going, but keep your wits about you. If he's DMing you from a verified Instagram account and there isn't weird stuff being posted from it, it's unlikely to be hacked.
posted by rhymedirective at 12:43 PM on August 11, 2023 [1 favorite]

If he's DMing you from a verified Instagram account and there isn't weird stuff being posted from it, it's unlikely to be hacked.

There was a catfish episode where a semifamous person's social media manager was the one sending DMs and videos to fans, posing as the celeb. Doesn't have to be capital H hacked to be jacked. Just saying.

Question though for OP. Generally, if some not-famous guy slid into your DMs drunk sexting you would you be into it? It's okay if you are. But if you wouldn't find that acceptable from someone non famous, you don't have to accept it from someone just because they've got money and clout. Your opinions and agency in this still matters the most.
posted by phunniemee at 12:52 PM on August 11, 2023 [4 favorites]

Response by poster: For those who think I'm being catfished, DMs are coming from his official, blue checked account. And yes, I was also suss AF and made him send me proof, which he did by sending me time-stamped videos.
posted by violetk at 2:01 PM on August 11, 2023

Response by poster: Posts and stories on his account are up to date (SAG-AFTRA strike) and events with his family.

He has not asked me for anything creepy like nudes, etc in return. Except for the initial drunk messages, his messages have been intermittent, short, but sweet.

I don't anticipate things going further than this. It's a fun distraction and I'm flattered, and I will 100% ride this train to the terminus.
posted by violetk at 2:09 PM on August 11, 2023 [7 favorites]

Response by poster: Question though for OP. Generally, if some not-famous guy slid into your DMs drunk sexting you would you be into it?

Depends on what vibe I'm getting (ie: creep or not). I have a healthy skepticism about people and things, but I'm more often than not open to experiences and seeing what happens when unexpected or unusual situations are thrown in my path.
posted by violetk at 2:15 PM on August 11, 2023 [2 favorites]

Peter King, the sportswriter, but nothing like this.
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 4:05 PM on August 11, 2023 [2 favorites]

I'm going to be very blunt: this is all about his want and need for attention and validation and not about you at all. I am SURE you are beautiful and cool and fascinating but he most likely sees you as someone who can meet his needs online. It's not bad if you enjoy it but tricky if you want anything more than intermittent drunk texts from someone who is probably insecure and doing this with many people. This is not a criticism towards you -- or him -- but rather being real. If he truly were interested, the DMs would be consistent and he'd be offering to videochat, although that can be opening a separate can of worms.

I actually had this happen to me ten years ago but via snail mail (lol, right?) after I had met an indie celebrity who was acquaintances with an acquaintance (who then gave him my mailing address without asking permission!) Not gonna lie, I was so flattered BUT I also knew that I was nothing to him other than a hot, cool, mysterious younger woman whose attention would help this aging star feel hot, cool, and young again for a bit. I eventually replied but by then he had moved on as had I. I don't talk about it anymore but it was a little ego boost!

tl;dr -- Enjoy but proceed with caution! It may be the actor but it could also be his social media manager getting off on the attention.
posted by smorgasbord at 5:32 PM on August 11, 2023

I did many years ago and no, we didn’t wind up as “friends,” he was hitting on me! He wasn’t a creep about it at all but he was obviously filling up his roster of young women in every town so he could have sex with them, like many attractive and successful men do (not just the famous ones.) He wasn’t about to say something scandalous, the point was to keep in touch so that when he came to my location I would be one of many options he had to “hang out” with aka have a one-night stand with. I wasn’t into that as I don’t like feeling like a dime a dozen, and celebrity grosses me out so that actually put him at a disadvantage compared to other dm-sliders. He didn’t push it when I eventually declined the hangout and he was nice; he had more options than he knew what to do with I’m sure so no harm no foul.

I think all the things you mention as proof aren’t bulletproof-level convincing (time stamps can be faked and many celebrities share their logins with staff.) Most use a more private anon account for their own shenanigans, which is how this guy reached out to me. How did he find you? Are you a big account, onlyfans/modeling account that would be promoted out to him, or in some mutual circles? (I’m not really asking you, that’s what I was asking myself and it turned out we actually did have a mutual acquaintance.)
posted by kapers at 2:15 PM on August 12, 2023