I Am Going To Find Out if Silence is Golden

July 21, 2023 3:18 PM

Have you ever gone a week without talking or whispering outside of a meditation retreat? What was it like? How hard was it to get the support you needed to cope with everyday life?

As the result of an anesthesia procedure gone bad, I suffered vocal cord trauma and iinflammation. It has been recommended that I do a total voice rest for a week. I am starting Sunday. This is exciting, scary and daunting. In particular, I give and receive a lot of vocal support from family and others. I plan on substituting texting for speech in my close relationships. Is this realistic? What else do I need to know to make this sucessful?

posted by Xurando to Health & Fitness (17 answers total)

I've done it for 10 days in a mediation retreat but not in the the regular world, but I think it's a good exercise for anyone to try. Embrace the challenge and try to enjoy it. You'll save a lot of energy by not talking. It might even change the way you think temporarily. Yes, you can do it.
posted by Liquidwolf at 3:54 PM on July 21, 2023 [3 favorites]

- You might need to limit time physically near people, because it gets frustrating sometimes.

- Carry a notepad, maybe drill a hole in a small notebook and necklace it. Sometimes theres an urgent need to communicate; be ready.

- Also, it may get frustrating for the other people around you.

- Prep beforehand helps a lot. Do your shopping. Make those phone-only appointments. Express your emotions to the people that need to hear them.

- Might as well buy some watercolor paints :)


It can be really, really lovely. There's a different experience if you commit to not _communicating in words_ rather than just not talking. If you can try to do the former, even for one day, it's good.
posted by amtho at 4:02 PM on July 21, 2023 [8 favorites]

Do you have pets? When I was single, I tried to find at least one 24-hour period without talking to anyone human.

But animals might be tough.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 4:06 PM on July 21, 2023 [10 favorites]

• Put a big button on that says "My vocal cords are out of order". If you don't a lot of people will assume you are deaf as well.
• Carry a clipboard-sized whiteboard, or if you're a fast phone typer get used to showing people your mobile.
• It makes things smoother if on your whiteboard or your phone you have pre-written some basic phrases. Something you can point to.
• Your major challenge will likely be yourself reflexively talking

I think you'll find it surprisingly easy to get along. If you've ever travelled in a country where you don't speak the language you've already lived it, except that you do understand what everyone else is saying.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 4:32 PM on July 21, 2023 [2 favorites]

Some students organized a Day of Silence at my school, in which I participated (as a teacher). The organizers gave everyone cards they could show people to explain what they were doing and why; I strongly recommend having something like that.

These are some ways I communicated with my classes, which may or may not be applicable to your circumstances:

• I typed to a projector
• For individual conversations, I had a small white board, marker, and rag
• I leaned on established routines my students already knew
• Students found lots of ways to cooperate, such as asking questions which could be answered with a gesture (I mention this mainly as encouragement -- some people will help!)

Good luck!
posted by aws17576 at 5:09 PM on July 21, 2023 [1 favorite]

I've done it, decades ago, while traveling alone abroad, in a place I didn't speak the languages. It was weird, and found myself randomly talking to whoever seemed to speak English so your worst enemy may be yourself.
posted by fiercekitten at 5:22 PM on July 21, 2023

Yes! I primarily text as a form of communication. This is a normal way to communicate for many people, and it’s kinda cool that you are doing this during Disability Pride Month. AAC (Augmentative and alternative communication) can take some getting used to, but there’s a lot of support out there. I suggest that learning a few signs can be very helpful (like please and thank you) if you need help remembering not to talk, sucking on ice or hard candy (if allowed) will help. I recommend liberal use of emojis to indicate tone. Seriously. And clarify your emotional state “hi can you help me with laundry? ❤️ I want to spend time together!” Reads a lot differently than “hi can you help me with laundry.” Be emotive!
posted by Bottlecap at 5:28 PM on July 21, 2023 [13 favorites]

Oh yeah, people will think you're deaf. If you can avoid going out in ways that expect interaction, that helps a lot.
posted by amtho at 5:42 PM on July 21, 2023

I had someone go through this and did you know on a Mac laptop there's a "say" command in the terminal? Like, you can open up the terminal and put:

say "testing"

And it will then text to speech it. I bet there might be phone apps for this that you could get and use.
posted by foxfirefey at 6:47 PM on July 21, 2023 [1 favorite]

I did a day of silence in high school. As an adult I've spent weeks in places where no one spoke my language. It's surprising how much can be conveyed via gesture.

I have a friend who spent 6 months in silence as a lesson to himself after hurting a lover with his words. I met him a month into his vow, and it was a really interesting way to begin a friendship. He did not use any communication aids outside of work.

Have fun with it! Find your expressive body and speak through that instead of your mouth.
posted by ananci at 6:58 PM on July 21, 2023 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Regularly, yes. It's gotten me into trouble where I really don't even like doing phone calls. I also had pretty severe recurring laryngitis during K-12 so I very often could not speak except through drawing large letters in notebooks.

Cardzilla is a great app that a Deaf friend of mine showed me, so that helps a lot for communication. There is also text to voice, if you have an iPhone there are lots of options for communication, as well as making large text on your phone easy to read. It's really not that hard, I just hope you won't need to figure out how to cancel your internet service during it, because that might require someone to make a phone call on your behalf!
posted by yueliang at 7:00 PM on July 21, 2023 [3 favorites]

Oh yeah. Your dog or cat will not understand why you are not telling them why they are such a good kitty. I would ***make a recording*** of yourself complimenting them so that their feelings won't get hurt so much.
posted by amtho at 9:49 PM on July 21, 2023 [5 favorites]

Google Translate will read text out for you, too, in most popular languages. In Android you can select text, hit Translate (one of the options along Copy, Select All etc) and hit the speaker icon. Good luck!
posted by I claim sanctuary at 2:53 AM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]

It is Very Difficult to not talk if you are around people. We are really hard-wired to communicate. So limiting time with people is probably a requirement,
posted by theora55 at 8:34 AM on July 22, 2023

I’m around people and communicate without my voice. A lot. You can do this without isolating yourself, unless that’s what you wish.
posted by Bottlecap at 12:04 PM on July 22, 2023

You may find the graphic memoir Dumb: Living Without a Voice by Georgia Webber insightful. It's an account of her losing her voice through overuse and how she coped with navigating that challenge.
posted by carrioncomfort at 2:29 AM on July 23, 2023

Response by poster: It's been challenging but the end (Sunday) is in sight. I've learned a lot about accepting others as they are. I don't think I would have been able to do this without the suggestion for the Cardzilla app. Thanks.
posted by Xurando at 12:35 PM on July 28, 2023 [3 favorites]