Asking a favor of a "business" acquaintance?

May 10, 2023 9:50 AM

I'm looking for advice on a specific situation. I need to move out of a house and there's going to be a gap between leaving and start of new lease. I have two cats that need to be housed. There are pet-friendly apartment complexes that offer as short as 2 month leases but they are exorbitantly expensive, miserable, and the my sense is the situation could pose a real threat to the cats.

I know someone who's son I've tutored for past 3-4 years. We sometimes talk about politics after a lesson, but aren't personal friends in any way. She has a carriage house on her property.
So...dare I briefly explain my situation and ask her "if she ever rents out her carriage house"? (Awkward even if I wasn't so desperate, but what makes it even more so is she's far from needing any extra income.)

posted by Jon44 to Human Relations (8 answers total)

Best answer: I think you can ask. Someone not needing the money might be in a perfect situation to help out someone. It also sounds like you have a new lease, and so this is a time-limited situation. I might make it very low pressure by sending an email.

Something like, "Hello! I may have mentioned that I'll be moving soon, out of my house, and I have a lease that starts on [date]. I'm looking for a short-term cat-friendly rental. Do you know of anyone who might have a place to housesit or rent for my cats and and me from DATE to DATE? Do you ever rent your carriage house? I feel awkward asking, but I'm trying to cast a wide net and ask as many people as possible. Thank you for any leads!"
posted by bluedaisy at 9:55 AM on May 10, 2023 [27 favorites]

It's a separate accommodation and for all you know, she rents it out as an AirBnB so without mentioning the cats at first, I'd just mention that you have a gap between two apartments and you need a place to stay temporarily and are curious if her carriage house is on AirBnB? The fact that you have an end date and that you are asking business-wise vs a personal favor makes it less awkward.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 9:58 AM on May 10, 2023

I think bluedaisy's script is very good. It makes clear that you're not coming to her with the request, but rather leaving an opening in case she feels like doing you a solid.

The fact that she doesn't need the income is actually a plus because it means she would get to feel good about helping you if it's workable; she doesn't need to.

eta I would not ask whether it's listed on airbnb. You don't want her to think that you think she needs the money. That takes away her ability to feel good about helping you out. Plus she might not get what you're really asking.
posted by fingersandtoes at 9:59 AM on May 10, 2023 [4 favorites]

Response by poster: P.s., just as quick feedback. The suggestions/scripts mentioned here are things I just never would have thought of. Internet giving us the ability to connect with truly diverse viewpoints is sometimes awe-inspiring.
posted by Jon44 at 10:20 AM on May 10, 2023 [14 favorites]

You could even go so far as to email her on BCC, pretending it's a cold email to a group (or even send a group email with a bunch of people on BCC to cover more ground!) so she doesn't feel like you are singling her out:

"Hello there! If you are a receiving this email, it is because you are part of my broader network of considerate friends and acquaintances. I'm reaching out because I am seeking temporary accommodation for me and my two well-behaved, non-destructive cats from Xdate when my current lease ends to Xdate when my new lease begins. I'm interested in short-term rentals, housesitting, or any other creative housing solutions in Xneighborhood(s). I'd be happy to provide any references, background checks, and/or deposits. If you or anyone you know has any recommendations, I'd be forever grateful if you could share with me! Also happy to connect one-on-one to answer any questions. Appreciate you!"
posted by greta simone at 10:38 AM on May 10, 2023 [3 favorites]

In the interest of casting a wide net, check and see what kind of Airbnbs are in your area. Lots of them allow pets and have monthly discounts for long term stays. You may find it more cost effective than you think.
posted by ananci at 11:38 AM on May 10, 2023 [1 favorite]

Agreed with the above script, and I would be asking all your friends similar questions - lots of people have spare rooms that they'd be open to renting to people, and lots of people love cats but don't have them.

Another option should you get desperate: lots of motels (Motel 6 and 8, I believe) allow cats, and will negotiate monthly rates. Hopefully you'll find something better, but that's an option should you find time running out.
posted by coffeecat at 11:45 AM on May 10, 2023 [1 favorite]

It's totally fine to ask but please be upfront about the cats from the start. I have a place I'd happily rent out this way in general, but my family members are basically all severely allergic to cats. I'd feel terrible if someone coyly asked me if I ever rent the place out and I was like "oh yeah for sure, do you need a place to stay? From when to when??" and then it emerged later that cats were part of the deal. Because I would happily have someone stay, and honestly I like cats personally, but cats are an absolute nonstarter for us and I'd feel terrible having to rescind an offer like this. I've been in this position but with big dogs, I know how annoying it is.
posted by potrzebie at 2:33 PM on May 10, 2023 [4 favorites]