Going to Florida for a gay (F/F) wedding - how discreet should we be?
March 6, 2023 2:36 AM Subscribe
Mrs Clanger and I are travelling to Florida (Jacksonville area) in a couple of weeks to attend a gay wedding. News coverage in the UK has been highlighting the rise anti-trans and anti-LBGQT+ sentiment and legislation in parts of the US and I'd like to know how careful we should be about discussing the purpose of our trip.
If asked at immigration about the purpose of our visit and I say it's to go to a wedding, are we likely to be asked to provide evidence by way of an invitation? If so, given that the invitation makes it clear that the wedding is between two women, are we likely to face any problems entering? (Our airport of entry will be Atlanta).
In Florida itself, should we be circumspect in discussing why we are there? Are we likely to encounter hostility if we mention that the wedding we are attending is between two women?
Mrs Clanger and I present as straight, white, middle-aged, middle-class and English (me) Scottish (her). Our last US trip was to Boston in 2014 where I would describe our immigration experience as 'surly and borderline hostile' which everyone tells me is the baseline.
If asked at immigration about the purpose of our visit and I say it's to go to a wedding, are we likely to be asked to provide evidence by way of an invitation? If so, given that the invitation makes it clear that the wedding is between two women, are we likely to face any problems entering? (Our airport of entry will be Atlanta).
In Florida itself, should we be circumspect in discussing why we are there? Are we likely to encounter hostility if we mention that the wedding we are attending is between two women?
Mrs Clanger and I present as straight, white, middle-aged, middle-class and English (me) Scottish (her). Our last US trip was to Boston in 2014 where I would describe our immigration experience as 'surly and borderline hostile' which everyone tells me is the baseline.
In Florida itself, should we be circumspect in discussing why we are there? Are we likely to encounter hostility if we mention that the wedding we are attending is between two women?
No and no. There are shitheads here in Northeast Florida who might actually go so far as to make a scene about a gay marriage but they are a small minority and you are extremely unlikely to be in a position or even a part of town where you might encounter one.
posted by saladin at 3:14 AM on March 6, 2023 [7 favorites]
No and no. There are shitheads here in Northeast Florida who might actually go so far as to make a scene about a gay marriage but they are a small minority and you are extremely unlikely to be in a position or even a part of town where you might encounter one.
posted by saladin at 3:14 AM on March 6, 2023 [7 favorites]
You don't need to be discreet at all.
Border control won't ask you for that much detail. Say you're coming for a wedding if you want to, sure. But you can also just say you're visiting friends, or that it's a vacation, or anything that suggests you're not coming to work. As long as your stay is within the limits of your tourist visa, you won't be asked to justify anything other than perhaps providing an address for where you'll be staying.
To the larger point, you're attending a wedding that is wonderfully, fantastically legal at the national/federal level. Florida's politicians are playing vile games but that doesn't change that Florida bows in obedience to national law and court rulings on the matter. Judge how open you should be according to your own comfort level. Would I offer without being asked why I'm in town by a gas station cashier that I'm going to a wedding that is specifically lesbian? Probably not. I don't know if I'd go into that level of detail in, I don't know, almost any random interaction? I can't say I've ever been asked that level of detail by even the most probing customs agent.
I'm American living/working in the UK and I can assure you that passport control is surly (at best) in all directions (thank heavens for the machines at LHR because they allow me to bypass having to experience the withering attention of an agent sneering at the indignity of an American being awarded a work visa). I aim to interact with them as little as possible in any country (buyt yes, especially so in the high volume New England airports—I do feel bad for you having to go through Boston Logan or any other airporort in that region, which is not known for its charm toward outsiders). I view those moments that inch toward hostility as poorly concealed attempts to provoke a reaction, so I grey rock the hell out of any communication that I have to participate in during the experience.
Have a great trip and mazel to the couple!
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 3:58 AM on March 6, 2023 [24 favorites]
Border control won't ask you for that much detail. Say you're coming for a wedding if you want to, sure. But you can also just say you're visiting friends, or that it's a vacation, or anything that suggests you're not coming to work. As long as your stay is within the limits of your tourist visa, you won't be asked to justify anything other than perhaps providing an address for where you'll be staying.
To the larger point, you're attending a wedding that is wonderfully, fantastically legal at the national/federal level. Florida's politicians are playing vile games but that doesn't change that Florida bows in obedience to national law and court rulings on the matter. Judge how open you should be according to your own comfort level. Would I offer without being asked why I'm in town by a gas station cashier that I'm going to a wedding that is specifically lesbian? Probably not. I don't know if I'd go into that level of detail in, I don't know, almost any random interaction? I can't say I've ever been asked that level of detail by even the most probing customs agent.
I'm American living/working in the UK and I can assure you that passport control is surly (at best) in all directions (thank heavens for the machines at LHR because they allow me to bypass having to experience the withering attention of an agent sneering at the indignity of an American being awarded a work visa). I aim to interact with them as little as possible in any country (buyt yes, especially so in the high volume New England airports—I do feel bad for you having to go through Boston Logan or any other airporort in that region, which is not known for its charm toward outsiders). I view those moments that inch toward hostility as poorly concealed attempts to provoke a reaction, so I grey rock the hell out of any communication that I have to participate in during the experience.
Have a great trip and mazel to the couple!
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 3:58 AM on March 6, 2023 [24 favorites]
Response by poster: Thanks late afternoon dreaming hotel, that's very helpful.
I asked because my experience of previous US trips is that people quite often ask, in an honestly friendly way, about what you're doing and where you're going during your visit. I could imagine mentioning a wedding, being asked if it was the husband or bride we knew, and explaining that actually there were two brides. That's what I was wondering the reaction to might be.
posted by Major Clanger at 4:42 AM on March 6, 2023
I asked because my experience of previous US trips is that people quite often ask, in an honestly friendly way, about what you're doing and where you're going during your visit. I could imagine mentioning a wedding, being asked if it was the husband or bride we knew, and explaining that actually there were two brides. That's what I was wondering the reaction to might be.
posted by Major Clanger at 4:42 AM on March 6, 2023
First thing, your previous experience was hostile because it was Boston. Boston Logan is well known as the most unfriendly airport in the US. Don’t draw any conclusions about US airports from Logan.
Second, if anyone asks whether you’re friends of the bride or the groom, you can easily just say “the bride”, which is truthful. But generally, the reason people ask this, especially in the South, is because they’re trying to make light conversation, not because they’re part of the Gilead secret police force. Gay marriage is legal and common in the United States. Why would you face any legal consequences for attending a legal wedding?
posted by kevinbelt at 4:51 AM on March 6, 2023 [19 favorites]
Second, if anyone asks whether you’re friends of the bride or the groom, you can easily just say “the bride”, which is truthful. But generally, the reason people ask this, especially in the South, is because they’re trying to make light conversation, not because they’re part of the Gilead secret police force. Gay marriage is legal and common in the United States. Why would you face any legal consequences for attending a legal wedding?
posted by kevinbelt at 4:51 AM on March 6, 2023 [19 favorites]
If you tell anyone in the Atlanta airport that you're here for a wedding for your lesbian friends, they will most likely simply be happy for you. Marriage equality is currently the law in Georgia, and unlike neighboring states, the attacks on LGBTQ human beings in Georgia have not gotten a lot of traction in this year's legislative term. We're not winning here, exactly, but we're sure as fuck not Florida or Tennessee.
posted by hydropsyche at 5:00 AM on March 6, 2023 [10 favorites]
posted by hydropsyche at 5:00 AM on March 6, 2023 [10 favorites]
More than 10 trips to the US in the last 10 years - in all honesty, the border control agents I met were all uniformly polite and professional although I have never travelled through Boston. Nobody ever wanted to know any kind of meaningful details about my trip. They wanted to know if I was travelling for business or leisure. My old passport had a visa for India and one for China in it. They sometimes asked what I was doing there and were quite happy when I explained I work for a multinational and had travelled to our local offices. Other than that, the only follow up questions were about where I was going on my road trip and/or how long I was going to stay.
Most of the time, the agents wished me good trip as they stamped my passport and sent me on my way. One of them was so inattentive in admitting me that he did whatever he had to do with my finger prints/photo on the computer but handed my passport back to me without stamping it. He was rather flummoxed when I asked him nicely if I could please also have a stamp so I could show I had entered the country legally if requested to do so....
posted by koahiatamadl at 5:24 AM on March 6, 2023 [2 favorites]
Most of the time, the agents wished me good trip as they stamped my passport and sent me on my way. One of them was so inattentive in admitting me that he did whatever he had to do with my finger prints/photo on the computer but handed my passport back to me without stamping it. He was rather flummoxed when I asked him nicely if I could please also have a stamp so I could show I had entered the country legally if requested to do so....
posted by koahiatamadl at 5:24 AM on March 6, 2023 [2 favorites]
OP, you are not wrong to ask. Although gay marriage remains legal at the federal level in the US, several states are laying the foundation to challenge that. States challenge federal laws by not upholding them, subsequently being sued, and elevating the case through several state court levels until it reaches the federal judiciary level. And at least one Supreme Court justice--who currently sits comfortably in the majority on that court--has openly expressed a desire to re-examine the legality conferred on gay marriage in the case referred to as Obergefell. And of course Florida currently has as its governor an aspiring fascist who's gleefully banning from public schools books and anything else that refers to non-hetero existence.
For these reasons, if you are landing in Florida without first landing on US shores in another state (i.e., if you're first encountering US immigration processing in FL), then I recommend you do not specifically mention gay marriage. There's no reason to divulge any details to immigration beyond what they're looking for: are you trying to stay in this country and/or work here without the proper visas. No. You're visiting friends. That's it. And I agree with the above posters: Others who ask are just making small talk in our very American way. Again, I personally would answer total strangers with a canned non-specific "just visiting friends we've known for years." That's it.
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 5:46 AM on March 6, 2023 [4 favorites]
For these reasons, if you are landing in Florida without first landing on US shores in another state (i.e., if you're first encountering US immigration processing in FL), then I recommend you do not specifically mention gay marriage. There's no reason to divulge any details to immigration beyond what they're looking for: are you trying to stay in this country and/or work here without the proper visas. No. You're visiting friends. That's it. And I agree with the above posters: Others who ask are just making small talk in our very American way. Again, I personally would answer total strangers with a canned non-specific "just visiting friends we've known for years." That's it.
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 5:46 AM on March 6, 2023 [4 favorites]
There's no reason to divulge any details to immigration beyond what they're looking for
This is good advice even for non-controversial topics.
posted by kevinbelt at 6:24 AM on March 6, 2023 [30 favorites]
This is good advice even for non-controversial topics.
posted by kevinbelt at 6:24 AM on March 6, 2023 [30 favorites]
I, an American, drove to Canada and then back into the U.S. (through Vermont) a few months ago.
The young Canadian border agent was relaxed and friendly, and gave us a solid ice cream recommendation.
On the way home, the booth was stuffed with two or three U.S. CBP operatives in fatigues with full battle load-out, who asked way more questions than I have ever been asked at a border crossing -- and I drove from Berlin through East Germany before the wall came down. I mean, we were parents and four children (ages 14-23) in a bright red minivan, but you would have thought that we were in a blacked out minibus with the words "WILL TRADE FENTANYL FOR BABIES" on the sides.
So please come to America and enjoy your visit. Share your friends' joy, and celebrate! Some very small tyrant may try to flex their authority, but follow the guidance above and breezily say you're coming for a wedding. Lean hard into Geordie and baffle them with a wall of noise, or drop the RP on them with an icy stare. :7) The rest of us are glad to have you here!
posted by wenestvedt at 6:37 AM on March 6, 2023 [13 favorites]
The young Canadian border agent was relaxed and friendly, and gave us a solid ice cream recommendation.
On the way home, the booth was stuffed with two or three U.S. CBP operatives in fatigues with full battle load-out, who asked way more questions than I have ever been asked at a border crossing -- and I drove from Berlin through East Germany before the wall came down. I mean, we were parents and four children (ages 14-23) in a bright red minivan, but you would have thought that we were in a blacked out minibus with the words "WILL TRADE FENTANYL FOR BABIES" on the sides.
So please come to America and enjoy your visit. Share your friends' joy, and celebrate! Some very small tyrant may try to flex their authority, but follow the guidance above and breezily say you're coming for a wedding. Lean hard into Geordie and baffle them with a wall of noise, or drop the RP on them with an icy stare. :7) The rest of us are glad to have you here!
posted by wenestvedt at 6:37 AM on March 6, 2023 [13 favorites]
I don't think you need to mention that you're coming to a QUEER LESBIAN wedding. You never know which way an individual official leans in terms of their support for gay marriage, and this goes in any jurisdiction. Simply say that you're there for a wedding or a vacation and you'll be waved through.
posted by sid at 6:49 AM on March 6, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by sid at 6:49 AM on March 6, 2023 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Just to say that although the answers above are very helpful I think there may have been a little misunderstanding of my question.
We're certainly not proposing to rock up at immigration and say "Hi, we're here for a BIG GAY WEDDING". However, the experience of friends and colleagues travelling to the US is that vague or evasive-sounding answers can provoke more intrusive questioning. That said, it sounds like just saying "Holiday" should be fine.
posted by Major Clanger at 7:05 AM on March 6, 2023 [4 favorites]
We're certainly not proposing to rock up at immigration and say "Hi, we're here for a BIG GAY WEDDING". However, the experience of friends and colleagues travelling to the US is that vague or evasive-sounding answers can provoke more intrusive questioning. That said, it sounds like just saying "Holiday" should be fine.
posted by Major Clanger at 7:05 AM on March 6, 2023 [4 favorites]
Immigration primarily cares if you're going to do any work - and it's not just secretly coming to Florida to get a job and stay forever, but it's a weird tax grey area if you "work" your own job, even though obviously we are all beholden to our employers and are indeed being paid if we are using company-provided vacation time. If you are like "ehhh, kiiiiinda vacation" they will definitely be like "mhmm and what else" but if you make it clear the purpose of your trip is entirely fun and leisure you'll be fine. If either of you are prone to dressing like consultants, you may want to casual it up a bit especially if you are (as many people do for entertainment purposes) carrying laptops.
"Vacation and a friend's wedding" should suffice, just say it like someone who's looking forward to both.
I will say as general Southern US advice though, go ahead and let passing strangers assume you are Gals Who Are Pals or sisters, as most of my FF friends have been assumed since time immemorial, given the current climate.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:13 AM on March 6, 2023 [2 favorites]
"Vacation and a friend's wedding" should suffice, just say it like someone who's looking forward to both.
I will say as general Southern US advice though, go ahead and let passing strangers assume you are Gals Who Are Pals or sisters, as most of my FF friends have been assumed since time immemorial, given the current climate.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:13 AM on March 6, 2023 [2 favorites]
I have crossed the US border many times. Things you need to be specific about and that must match both your visa and your situation:
For the Visa:
For example: "I am visiting the tourist town Florida and staying at grand hotel for 12 days and returning on Month Day on airline XXX. I am bringing some gifts for my friend YYYYY for their wedding on DATE and the value of those is approximately $USD."
Have on hand proof of all of those claims - including your friends contact info. I print out all my booking info for flights and hotels. A receipt for the gifts, but don't bring anything worth more than 5000 USD through.
And NO CONTRABAND, like oranges, and you'll be set for most encounters. I say most because you should know that agents are expected to press a certain number of guests - so you might still get lucky and have a full screening.
posted by zenon at 8:16 AM on March 6, 2023 [4 favorites]
For the Visa:
- length of stay
- purpose of visit
For example: "I am visiting the tourist town Florida and staying at grand hotel for 12 days and returning on Month Day on airline XXX. I am bringing some gifts for my friend YYYYY for their wedding on DATE and the value of those is approximately $USD."
Have on hand proof of all of those claims - including your friends contact info. I print out all my booking info for flights and hotels. A receipt for the gifts, but don't bring anything worth more than 5000 USD through.
And NO CONTRABAND, like oranges, and you'll be set for most encounters. I say most because you should know that agents are expected to press a certain number of guests - so you might still get lucky and have a full screening.
posted by zenon at 8:16 AM on March 6, 2023 [4 favorites]
However, the experience of friends and colleagues travelling to the US is that vague or evasive-sounding answers can provoke more intrusive questioning
Yes, because if your story is bullshit you might only have a couple "levels" of followup answers before you run out. Obviously someone like an unregistered foreign agent is going to have a "real" story they can talk about indefinitely, but someone whose real plan is to overstay their tourist visa and work remotely for their UK company might get flustered if they quickly run out of answers when asked about the wedding in Florida they say they are going to.
This is isn't special to the US, I get hammered for details every time about exactly why/where I'm going to be working when I travel for business to Heathrow. And this from the officer in the special First/Upper/Business class line, when I have return ticket for the next week, and when I work for the richest company in the world that pays me significantly more than my coworkers in London. Even then they want to really make sure that I'm actually going to my office, and (more importantly) I'm going to be leaving as soon as I say I am.
posted by Back At It Again At Krispy Kreme at 9:31 AM on March 6, 2023 [6 favorites]
Yes, because if your story is bullshit you might only have a couple "levels" of followup answers before you run out. Obviously someone like an unregistered foreign agent is going to have a "real" story they can talk about indefinitely, but someone whose real plan is to overstay their tourist visa and work remotely for their UK company might get flustered if they quickly run out of answers when asked about the wedding in Florida they say they are going to.
This is isn't special to the US, I get hammered for details every time about exactly why/where I'm going to be working when I travel for business to Heathrow. And this from the officer in the special First/Upper/Business class line, when I have return ticket for the next week, and when I work for the richest company in the world that pays me significantly more than my coworkers in London. Even then they want to really make sure that I'm actually going to my office, and (more importantly) I'm going to be leaving as soon as I say I am.
posted by Back At It Again At Krispy Kreme at 9:31 AM on March 6, 2023 [6 favorites]
If you tell anyone in the Atlanta airport that you're here for a wedding for your lesbian friends, they will most likely simply be happy for you. Marriage equality is currently the law in Georgia, and unlike neighboring states, the attacks on LGBTQ human beings in Georgia have not gotten a lot of traction in this year's legislative term. We're not winning here, exactly, but we're sure as fuck not Florida or Tennessee.
When marriage equality was established by the Supreme Court in 2015, the city of Atlanta was ready to go with marriage licenses THAT DAY. I shit you not--a friend in Seattle posted an article that said this, and I (in Connecticut) pointed it out to my friend in Atlanta. He said "holy shit that was fast" and he and his fiance went straight to the courthouse and got married that afternoon. I would NOT expect any trouble in Atlanta.
posted by dlugoczaj at 12:39 PM on March 6, 2023 [3 favorites]
When marriage equality was established by the Supreme Court in 2015, the city of Atlanta was ready to go with marriage licenses THAT DAY. I shit you not--a friend in Seattle posted an article that said this, and I (in Connecticut) pointed it out to my friend in Atlanta. He said "holy shit that was fast" and he and his fiance went straight to the courthouse and got married that afternoon. I would NOT expect any trouble in Atlanta.
posted by dlugoczaj at 12:39 PM on March 6, 2023 [3 favorites]
Don't confuse Americans: use the word "vacation" instead of "holiday".
posted by mareli at 12:40 PM on March 6, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by mareli at 12:40 PM on March 6, 2023 [3 favorites]
Advice to be honest but concise with immigration, avoiding volunteering details that are not specifically inquired for, is good in almost every context, including this one.
States challenge federal laws by not upholding them, subsequently being sued, and elevating the case through several state court levels until it reaches the federal judiciary level. ...For these reasons, if you are landing in Florida without first landing on US shores in another state (i.e., if you're first encountering US immigration processing in FL), then I recommend you do not specifically mention gay marriage.
But there seems to be a little bit of civics confusion here. If you are entering the U.S. at a Florida port, you will be questioned at immigration not by an agent of the Florida government, but of the United States government. Florida has zero authority over the operations of CBP at the federal border or who is or is not admitted as a tourist to the United States. CBP are often shitheads, but they will not be shitheads on orders from Ron DeSantis (FL governor) to provoke some kind of incident, because they don't take orders from him.
posted by praemunire at 1:56 PM on March 6, 2023 [3 favorites]
States challenge federal laws by not upholding them, subsequently being sued, and elevating the case through several state court levels until it reaches the federal judiciary level. ...For these reasons, if you are landing in Florida without first landing on US shores in another state (i.e., if you're first encountering US immigration processing in FL), then I recommend you do not specifically mention gay marriage.
But there seems to be a little bit of civics confusion here. If you are entering the U.S. at a Florida port, you will be questioned at immigration not by an agent of the Florida government, but of the United States government. Florida has zero authority over the operations of CBP at the federal border or who is or is not admitted as a tourist to the United States. CBP are often shitheads, but they will not be shitheads on orders from Ron DeSantis (FL governor) to provoke some kind of incident, because they don't take orders from him.
posted by praemunire at 1:56 PM on March 6, 2023 [3 favorites]
I have entered the US on visa multiple times. Seconding koahiatamadl that the border agents are uniformly polite and professional.
They always ask, "What's the purpose of your visit?"
You will answer, "Friend's wedding."
They may ask, "Where is the wedding?"
You'll reply, "Jacksonville, Florida."
They may ask, "Are you planning to visit anywhere else in the US during your trip?"
You may say, "Yes, sight-seeing in Miami for a few days on our way home." Or "Nope, just the wedding, then we head home to the UK."
it's less likely, but they could also ask, "How did you meet this friend?"
You'll reply, "College/Through another friend/When she traveled to my country, etc."
They'll then stamp your passport and wave you through.
You get the gist.. the questions are unintrusive and pretty narrow in scope. Your answers should be to-the-point and ACCURATE (so don't say "vacation" if the main purpose is the wedding). It is highly, HIGHLY unlikely that you will be asked anything more personal than the examples above.
posted by Taro at 2:09 PM on March 6, 2023 [4 favorites]
They always ask, "What's the purpose of your visit?"
You will answer, "Friend's wedding."
They may ask, "Where is the wedding?"
You'll reply, "Jacksonville, Florida."
They may ask, "Are you planning to visit anywhere else in the US during your trip?"
You may say, "Yes, sight-seeing in Miami for a few days on our way home." Or "Nope, just the wedding, then we head home to the UK."
it's less likely, but they could also ask, "How did you meet this friend?"
You'll reply, "College/Through another friend/When she traveled to my country, etc."
They'll then stamp your passport and wave you through.
You get the gist.. the questions are unintrusive and pretty narrow in scope. Your answers should be to-the-point and ACCURATE (so don't say "vacation" if the main purpose is the wedding). It is highly, HIGHLY unlikely that you will be asked anything more personal than the examples above.
posted by Taro at 2:09 PM on March 6, 2023 [4 favorites]
Taro, not OP but your response is super imo
I think this question will be a lot more prevalent in this type of space. I decided against a conference in Florida recently, and I will not visit Texas ever, and the list keeps getting a bit longer as we go
posted by elkevelvet at 2:46 PM on March 6, 2023 [2 favorites]
I think this question will be a lot more prevalent in this type of space. I decided against a conference in Florida recently, and I will not visit Texas ever, and the list keeps getting a bit longer as we go
posted by elkevelvet at 2:46 PM on March 6, 2023 [2 favorites]
Boston Logan is well known as the most unfriendly airport in the US. Don’t draw any conclusions about US airports from Logan.
Gosh this is so true. Another thing that might be helpful is that if you are bringing gifts consider not wrapping them since there's an outside chance you might be asked to unwrap them at customs. Otherwise, have a good time and, as other people have said, be factual without being unclear. It's also possible they might ask where you're staying in which case "the Jacksonville Marriott" or "An AirBnB outside Jacksonville" are both decent types of answers.
posted by jessamyn at 5:01 PM on March 6, 2023
Gosh this is so true. Another thing that might be helpful is that if you are bringing gifts consider not wrapping them since there's an outside chance you might be asked to unwrap them at customs. Otherwise, have a good time and, as other people have said, be factual without being unclear. It's also possible they might ask where you're staying in which case "the Jacksonville Marriott" or "An AirBnB outside Jacksonville" are both decent types of answers.
posted by jessamyn at 5:01 PM on March 6, 2023
Boston Logan is well known as the most unfriendly airport in the US. Don’t draw any conclusions about US airports from Logan.
Fair, but I will say I find U.S. border control agents to be spooky and weird in general, and I'm a white citizen. Obsequious behavior tends to be safest. "Good afternoon," "sir"/"ma'am," etc, go an annoyingly long way with these people.
posted by desert outpost at 5:34 PM on March 6, 2023 [1 favorite]
Fair, but I will say I find U.S. border control agents to be spooky and weird in general, and I'm a white citizen. Obsequious behavior tends to be safest. "Good afternoon," "sir"/"ma'am," etc, go an annoyingly long way with these people.
posted by desert outpost at 5:34 PM on March 6, 2023 [1 favorite]
« Older Usage of 20th century U.S. slang "If you don't... | I'm looking for aphorisms that express... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by kingdead at 2:53 AM on March 6, 2023 [19 favorites]