Email person or meeting person?
October 5, 2022 8:39 AM Subscribe
I'd like some tricks for pinpointing quickly which colleagues are going to struggle with emails and need to communicate in spoken language.
I'm a software developer turned business analyst (for the time-being). My main job right now is asking questions and relaying answers. Despite being very neuro-typical passing, I am probably autistic. On-brand, I find spoken language uncomfortable and hard. So I gravitate towards emails.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who miss details in my emails and gloss over my questions. Possibly even most people. And this is very much the case now that I'm dealing more with business people instead of technical people. It leads to very frustrating back and forths. I'll find myself wishing I had booked a meeting to talk to these folks. I'm adaptable enough to manage that, even though I basically hate it and have the same deficits they seem have with written language - if not more.
If we were not all remote, I would be sort of sizing people up by the way they speak and carry themselves in order to tell whether they might fall into the written or spoken communication category, but all interaction is virtual and when we do have meetings, we don't use cameras (thank god).
So, mefites, I know I can't be the first to struggle with this and I'm wondering if there are any tricks to identify people who communicate most effectively in meetings? We are on tight deadlines and I'm always finding out too late that I've wasted days trying to communicate with email when that's just never going to work with certain people. Any insights surrounding this whole topic will be helpful. I'm learning the hard way that my preference for communicating in writing is the exception, not the rule.
If you think I should ask people outright, can you help me phrase it in a way that doesn't freak people out at being asked such a direct and unexpected question? I've never seen it done before. I think it's probably a non-neurotypical sort of question that increases the likelihood that people are going to get 'uncanny valley' vibes from me.
I'm a software developer turned business analyst (for the time-being). My main job right now is asking questions and relaying answers. Despite being very neuro-typical passing, I am probably autistic. On-brand, I find spoken language uncomfortable and hard. So I gravitate towards emails.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who miss details in my emails and gloss over my questions. Possibly even most people. And this is very much the case now that I'm dealing more with business people instead of technical people. It leads to very frustrating back and forths. I'll find myself wishing I had booked a meeting to talk to these folks. I'm adaptable enough to manage that, even though I basically hate it and have the same deficits they seem have with written language - if not more.
If we were not all remote, I would be sort of sizing people up by the way they speak and carry themselves in order to tell whether they might fall into the written or spoken communication category, but all interaction is virtual and when we do have meetings, we don't use cameras (thank god).
So, mefites, I know I can't be the first to struggle with this and I'm wondering if there are any tricks to identify people who communicate most effectively in meetings? We are on tight deadlines and I'm always finding out too late that I've wasted days trying to communicate with email when that's just never going to work with certain people. Any insights surrounding this whole topic will be helpful. I'm learning the hard way that my preference for communicating in writing is the exception, not the rule.
If you think I should ask people outright, can you help me phrase it in a way that doesn't freak people out at being asked such a direct and unexpected question? I've never seen it done before. I think it's probably a non-neurotypical sort of question that increases the likelihood that people are going to get 'uncanny valley' vibes from me.
You definitely should ask directly. For context, I'm a neurotypical extravert and I find it's very helpful to ask!
A phrasing might be "I wanted to ask about your preferred communication style - would you prefer to discuss it in a meeting, or asynchronously via email?"
I will say I usually end up doing both - often high-level discussions in a meeting to kick off and align on big things, and then async to nail down details. But it is a good healthy thing to ask about, and while some people might find it a bit formal to just ask... that's fine too. It is absolutely not "Uncanny valley," it's a fairly common questions from people who do this kind of work, and entirely within 'normal' bounds from my neurotypical business-person perspective.
posted by Tomorrowful at 8:56 AM on October 5, 2022 [6 favorites]
A phrasing might be "I wanted to ask about your preferred communication style - would you prefer to discuss it in a meeting, or asynchronously via email?"
I will say I usually end up doing both - often high-level discussions in a meeting to kick off and align on big things, and then async to nail down details. But it is a good healthy thing to ask about, and while some people might find it a bit formal to just ask... that's fine too. It is absolutely not "Uncanny valley," it's a fairly common questions from people who do this kind of work, and entirely within 'normal' bounds from my neurotypical business-person perspective.
posted by Tomorrowful at 8:56 AM on October 5, 2022 [6 favorites]
I would optimize your emails for both types of people (clear action items, brevity, that kind of thing), but move quickly to a meeting if they're not responding usefully to that.
Basically, I'd move to the calls more quickly than it sounds like you're doing, especially since there's generally a decently low barrier to a cameras-off call.
(For that matter, would it make things more comfortable to ask people if they prefer a call or email? That seems to be a bit closer to the dichotomy you're looking at, and I think people are used to having a preference there.)
posted by sagc at 8:57 AM on October 5, 2022 [6 favorites]
Basically, I'd move to the calls more quickly than it sounds like you're doing, especially since there's generally a decently low barrier to a cameras-off call.
(For that matter, would it make things more comfortable to ask people if they prefer a call or email? That seems to be a bit closer to the dichotomy you're looking at, and I think people are used to having a preference there.)
posted by sagc at 8:57 AM on October 5, 2022 [6 favorites]
I’d also propose that a direct message chat is a third way to handle this. I know everyone is different but I’d also generally assess than anyone with a big team cannot do complex things over email.
posted by vunder at 8:59 AM on October 5, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by vunder at 8:59 AM on October 5, 2022 [2 favorites]
If you're worried about sounding odd by asking up-front whether a person prefers email or meetings, you can always preface your emails with: "Please let me know if you'd like me to schedule a meeting or a call to discuss any of the following!" Eventually you'll know from peoples' responses who the real spoken-word folks are.
(That said, uh...it's definitely not a given that these folks who are bad at reading and writing are BETTER at speaking. A lot of people are just really terrible at their jobs. So don't take it personally if you find that there isn't a non-frustrating way to deal with them.)
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 9:01 AM on October 5, 2022 [4 favorites]
(That said, uh...it's definitely not a given that these folks who are bad at reading and writing are BETTER at speaking. A lot of people are just really terrible at their jobs. So don't take it personally if you find that there isn't a non-frustrating way to deal with them.)
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 9:01 AM on October 5, 2022 [4 favorites]
I am a similar type of person in a similar situation. My solution was to make my e-mails more direct, more segmented, and shorter. Lists, bullet points, etc. Then, I follow with an invitation to call me. And, as someone already pointed out, some people just aren't going to pay attention no matter what. I decided I don't have time to worry about people who aren't going to put forth some effort on their end.
Example:
"Three things you need to know about X:
1.
2.
3.
PLEASE! Call me with questions!"
posted by SamanthaK at 9:14 AM on October 5, 2022 [7 favorites]
Example:
"Three things you need to know about X:
1.
2.
3.
PLEASE! Call me with questions!"
posted by SamanthaK at 9:14 AM on October 5, 2022 [7 favorites]
Limit the amount of back-and-forths to like, 1 follow-up. If they don't get the info you need by then, move to a meeting. Is there also an option where you can call them without having to schedule a meeting? I'm not a phone person, but I will admit that calling a person does a lot more to build rapport and trust than emails back and forth.
posted by Sparky Buttons at 9:16 AM on October 5, 2022
posted by Sparky Buttons at 9:16 AM on October 5, 2022
1. Send the email.
2. Call to follow up like, "Hi, I'm just following up on my email of XXX date. Did you get the information you needed/have any questions about the widget? Will you be able to provide me answers by XXX?"
3. Schedule a meeting if #2 does not go well.
#2 could take place in chat.
posted by warriorqueen at 9:23 AM on October 5, 2022
2. Call to follow up like, "Hi, I'm just following up on my email of XXX date. Did you get the information you needed/have any questions about the widget? Will you be able to provide me answers by XXX?"
3. Schedule a meeting if #2 does not go well.
#2 could take place in chat.
posted by warriorqueen at 9:23 AM on October 5, 2022
I struggle with the same & here's my heuristic. I give them one chance, they fuck up a text interaction and then I go meeting only with them.
posted by bleep at 9:26 AM on October 5, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by bleep at 9:26 AM on October 5, 2022 [2 favorites]
(I think people tend to refer to "non video meetings with a single person" as calls. Slack has a call feature, for example, with a little phone icon.)
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 9:30 AM on October 5, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 9:30 AM on October 5, 2022 [6 favorites]
Oh and I forgot to mention - where I work (also software) it's a normal thing to say "Hey I just put some time on our calendars to chat about it". Or if they don't have any free meeting time (more typical) I say something like "Can you let me know a convenient time we can chat about this?"
posted by bleep at 9:32 AM on October 5, 2022
posted by bleep at 9:32 AM on October 5, 2022
Voting for definitely asking- the above approaches sound good to me. You're still going to run into people who think they got the message and actually didn't who would have benefitted from an in-person interaction but didn't realize it would be beneficial for them. I don't know how big the group is you're working with and if you routinely work with the same people. I do, and generally have identified people who would benefit from an in-person follow-up, so I can then offer it to them after I send the email to the group. I haven't come across a better way to troubleshoot this problem, except that sometimes when I am writing the email itself, I think damn this is pretty complicated, I need to offer in person to everyone, and then do so. I also second that you're being really thoughtful about this- kudos to you.
posted by rene_billingsworth at 9:37 AM on October 5, 2022
posted by rene_billingsworth at 9:37 AM on October 5, 2022
Brainmouse, the question pretty clearly states that these are, in fact, cameras-off video meetings. So... voice only interactions, colloquially known as a "call".
posted by sagc at 9:38 AM on October 5, 2022
posted by sagc at 9:38 AM on October 5, 2022
I don’t think there’s any way you can know in advance. You should probably just set up meetings with most of your clients unless the information and questions are really basic. If your questions have any level of complexity, most people are going to need additional clarification before they can give you a good answer. Generally, this is going to be easier and faster in person/video.
posted by haptic_avenger at 9:45 AM on October 5, 2022
posted by haptic_avenger at 9:45 AM on October 5, 2022
Response by poster: Can anyone try to comment on why so many people are better at answering questions in person? Is it true that most people are, or is that confirmation bias on my part?
posted by kitcat at 9:47 AM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by kitcat at 9:47 AM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
My theory which I've developed after observing this for years is that most people don't like reading & aren't good at it. It's not a value judgment, having to read as much as we do to survive isn't natural and it's not a given that our unique dna will give us the machinery to be good at it. Just like forming words off the cuff isn't something everyone can do easily either.
posted by bleep at 9:55 AM on October 5, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by bleep at 9:55 AM on October 5, 2022 [6 favorites]
When I rule the world, there will be no meeting people. There will only be email people. And if you're not an email person, well, you have until I become ruler of the world to figure out how to become one.
Until then... I think it's pretty much the opposite. Nearly everyone, in my experience, would prefer meetings to emails. I do think there are some tendencies (e.g., older people tend to prefer meetings over emails), but just like stereotyping in any other aspect of life, these are too broad and would lead to a lot of miscategorization of counter-examples. I also like to tell myself that there's an intelligence/competence aspect to being an email person, but I think that's just me being self-congratulatory, and at any rate, that's not something that's easily apparent when you first meet someone.
I personally use three of the suggestions already given in combination. Use sub-email text-based conversations (Slack, SMS if that's your company culture) to get an idea of reading comprehension, use the one-mistake rule to then categorize them as a meeting person, and end emails with a "let me know if you'd prefer to discuss in person/over a Zoom". There are only a handful of people who make it through all three, although those people tend to be my favorite people to work with.
I have Theories as to why so many people prefer speaking to writing, but I'll stick to what I have direct knowledge of, which is myself. I prefer writing because I majored in the humanities and spent a lot of time learning to both revise my own writing to ensure I'm expressing myself as clearly as I can, and to expect others' writing to have undergone similar revision. Twenty years out of college, I've pretty much learned that others don't constantly revise their emails or Slack messages or Metafilter comments, but I'm still surprised when I get a bad impression of Finnegan's Wake via email. It's obvious to me that a lot of people use spoken communication the way I use editing: to start with a general idea and then shape it into something more final. Whether that's because they don't have the ability to edit their written work or whatever, I can't say, but I've been in SO many meetings where I've tried to roughly transcribe the discussion, only to go back and find that my notes from the end of the meeting directly contradict my notes from the beginning of the meeting. A lot of people use meetings like I use Notepad++. I have other theories, too, about television and self-importance and various other things, but they're pure speculation.
posted by kevinbelt at 10:07 AM on October 5, 2022 [5 favorites]
Until then... I think it's pretty much the opposite. Nearly everyone, in my experience, would prefer meetings to emails. I do think there are some tendencies (e.g., older people tend to prefer meetings over emails), but just like stereotyping in any other aspect of life, these are too broad and would lead to a lot of miscategorization of counter-examples. I also like to tell myself that there's an intelligence/competence aspect to being an email person, but I think that's just me being self-congratulatory, and at any rate, that's not something that's easily apparent when you first meet someone.
I personally use three of the suggestions already given in combination. Use sub-email text-based conversations (Slack, SMS if that's your company culture) to get an idea of reading comprehension, use the one-mistake rule to then categorize them as a meeting person, and end emails with a "let me know if you'd prefer to discuss in person/over a Zoom". There are only a handful of people who make it through all three, although those people tend to be my favorite people to work with.
I have Theories as to why so many people prefer speaking to writing, but I'll stick to what I have direct knowledge of, which is myself. I prefer writing because I majored in the humanities and spent a lot of time learning to both revise my own writing to ensure I'm expressing myself as clearly as I can, and to expect others' writing to have undergone similar revision. Twenty years out of college, I've pretty much learned that others don't constantly revise their emails or Slack messages or Metafilter comments, but I'm still surprised when I get a bad impression of Finnegan's Wake via email. It's obvious to me that a lot of people use spoken communication the way I use editing: to start with a general idea and then shape it into something more final. Whether that's because they don't have the ability to edit their written work or whatever, I can't say, but I've been in SO many meetings where I've tried to roughly transcribe the discussion, only to go back and find that my notes from the end of the meeting directly contradict my notes from the beginning of the meeting. A lot of people use meetings like I use Notepad++. I have other theories, too, about television and self-importance and various other things, but they're pure speculation.
posted by kevinbelt at 10:07 AM on October 5, 2022 [5 favorites]
Some people are better doing it in meetings because there is social pressure to actually respond and because if they don't, you can ask follow-up questions. They don't have that via e-mail and many people are either really busy, have attention deficits, or are eager to get back to something more fun, which keeps them from prioritizing being detail-oriented.
I find numbering questions helps. It points out to them that each specific thing needs to be addressed, and it's easier for them to reply by number in their response. A visual way to encourage replies is to actually set up a table, with your question in column 1 and space for their response in column 2; this may or may not be viable for your situation.
And with some people it works best to only ask one question per message.
posted by metasarah at 10:10 AM on October 5, 2022 [5 favorites]
I find numbering questions helps. It points out to them that each specific thing needs to be addressed, and it's easier for them to reply by number in their response. A visual way to encourage replies is to actually set up a table, with your question in column 1 and space for their response in column 2; this may or may not be viable for your situation.
And with some people it works best to only ask one question per message.
posted by metasarah at 10:10 AM on October 5, 2022 [5 favorites]
I say ask! This is a great question, and it's awesome that you're flexible about this. There's lots of evidence that meeting in person or calls are more effective for certain kinds of communication as compared to asynchronous emails, but a combination of the two could work well for you and your colleagues.
If you work together often, scheduling a routine check-in could be helpful. If you find these uncomfortable, non-traditional alternatives like going for a walk (also good evidence this makes people think better and come up with more creative ideas) or getting a coffee might ease the intensity of one-on-one conversations.
An email to follow-up on action items from such meetings is a good addition, or the use of a system for project management.
I've started just putting up giant paper on the walls of my office and asking my colleagues to meet me there. You could send the emails, but print them to make notes on during a call or meeting.
If you're interested in more about this, The Extended Mind is my absolute favourite book and talks a lot about effective collaboration and thinking.
Potential script:
[Colleague] –
Can you let me know what is the best way to communicate about tasks with you? I tend towards email, but if you prefer to have a follow-up discussion over the phone or a meeting, I would be more than happy to do so.
posted by lookoutbelow at 10:15 AM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
If you work together often, scheduling a routine check-in could be helpful. If you find these uncomfortable, non-traditional alternatives like going for a walk (also good evidence this makes people think better and come up with more creative ideas) or getting a coffee might ease the intensity of one-on-one conversations.
An email to follow-up on action items from such meetings is a good addition, or the use of a system for project management.
I've started just putting up giant paper on the walls of my office and asking my colleagues to meet me there. You could send the emails, but print them to make notes on during a call or meeting.
If you're interested in more about this, The Extended Mind is my absolute favourite book and talks a lot about effective collaboration and thinking.
Potential script:
[Colleague] –
Can you let me know what is the best way to communicate about tasks with you? I tend towards email, but if you prefer to have a follow-up discussion over the phone or a meeting, I would be more than happy to do so.
posted by lookoutbelow at 10:15 AM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
Can anyone try to comment on why so many people are better at answering questions in person? Is it true that most people are, or is that confirmation bias on my part?
Lots of reasons --
Lots of people process auditory information better than visual information. People also tend to use many senses in meetings as opposed to a screen + reading.
People prioritize people over a lot of other things, so having A Person sitting there looking at them increases their attention and focus.
People tend not to drop out of meetings at 45 seconds.
Other things are not popping up on their screens.
Etc.
For me, I can process written information but on a busy day my ability to process email drops dramatically, especially if I'm out in the field on my phone directing summer camp teams. If you are dealing with business people in the sense of people who are out talking to clients / managing sales processes / doing work that isn't knowledge-work in the same way, like actually fulfilling orders etc., they likely do not have the same relationship to email as someone who has focused hours of work.
posted by warriorqueen at 10:52 AM on October 5, 2022 [3 favorites]
Lots of reasons --
Lots of people process auditory information better than visual information. People also tend to use many senses in meetings as opposed to a screen + reading.
People prioritize people over a lot of other things, so having A Person sitting there looking at them increases their attention and focus.
People tend not to drop out of meetings at 45 seconds.
Other things are not popping up on their screens.
Etc.
For me, I can process written information but on a busy day my ability to process email drops dramatically, especially if I'm out in the field on my phone directing summer camp teams. If you are dealing with business people in the sense of people who are out talking to clients / managing sales processes / doing work that isn't knowledge-work in the same way, like actually fulfilling orders etc., they likely do not have the same relationship to email as someone who has focused hours of work.
posted by warriorqueen at 10:52 AM on October 5, 2022 [3 favorites]
People are wired differently. For many reasons, remembering to check email, determining which emails are important, reading and understanding, composing a response, and typing are all serious effort. There are a lot of things about literacy that are complicated-- a larger percentage of adults don't have immediacy and fluency in reading, like way more than you would expect would be walking around working and living happy lives if you are coming from a place that is the opposite-- but it's a complex skill that people develop unevenly. I am great at reading and writing, but I would basically kill to be able to interpret a verbal list, be good at social situations, or remember and be able to picture faces. It is what it is.
Plus, a lot of email is straight up garbage (spam, reply alls that shouldn't be, useless FYI forwards, there's cake in the breakroom, etc.) and it never, ever ends, and it just gets more intimidating and requires more concentration the longer you let it go. So there's an element of being stressed out just going into the email inbox that I think bleeds over to this thing where you may have to bring extra attention to get through it because of issues with reading, writing, typing, etc. So if you have these problems and option to just call someone...you'll do that.
posted by blnkfrnk at 11:40 AM on October 5, 2022
Plus, a lot of email is straight up garbage (spam, reply alls that shouldn't be, useless FYI forwards, there's cake in the breakroom, etc.) and it never, ever ends, and it just gets more intimidating and requires more concentration the longer you let it go. So there's an element of being stressed out just going into the email inbox that I think bleeds over to this thing where you may have to bring extra attention to get through it because of issues with reading, writing, typing, etc. So if you have these problems and option to just call someone...you'll do that.
posted by blnkfrnk at 11:40 AM on October 5, 2022
as someone already pointed out, some people just aren't going to pay attention no matter what.
Students never read the syllabus!
Concur with advice to end these with "feel free to call to discuss if you have any questions!" And then if they don't and you're mired down in an email chain of confusion, you can hit the eject button by saying, "Can we just have a quick call to make sure we're on the same page about this?" Or "I think it would be faster for us to do this over the phone. Can we chat for a couple of minutes?"
posted by praemunire at 12:12 PM on October 5, 2022
Students never read the syllabus!
Concur with advice to end these with "feel free to call to discuss if you have any questions!" And then if they don't and you're mired down in an email chain of confusion, you can hit the eject button by saying, "Can we just have a quick call to make sure we're on the same page about this?" Or "I think it would be faster for us to do this over the phone. Can we chat for a couple of minutes?"
posted by praemunire at 12:12 PM on October 5, 2022
People are better at answering questions verbally because they need the opportunity to clarify what you’re asking and to ensure they are being responsive. Unless the question is really, really simple, if you want a good answer, you need to have a *dialogue.* And as the asker, your understanding will also be enriched by asking follow-up questions in the moment. And sometimes, the premise of your question is wrong and you need to give them the chance to tell you what the right question is!
Sometimes people also are cagey about answering clearly for various reasons, so you may need to grill them a little bit. There is a reason that legal depositions are in person.
If you feel uncomfortable with this kind of dialogue, there has to be some kind of training you can get! This is a skill that can be learned, not an innate talent.
posted by haptic_avenger at 12:36 PM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
Sometimes people also are cagey about answering clearly for various reasons, so you may need to grill them a little bit. There is a reason that legal depositions are in person.
If you feel uncomfortable with this kind of dialogue, there has to be some kind of training you can get! This is a skill that can be learned, not an innate talent.
posted by haptic_avenger at 12:36 PM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
Easiest answer: just ask/send out a 1 question survey
What I find helpful for team communications: Using software that does screen/camera capture AND transcription (Like Loom).
Write your email and film yourself reading it. You cover all the bases and it improves the chances that your message will be understood. OR, don't write first and just talk (but find that harder), and have the software handle the transcript.
posted by banjonaut at 12:58 PM on October 5, 2022
What I find helpful for team communications: Using software that does screen/camera capture AND transcription (Like Loom).
Write your email and film yourself reading it. You cover all the bases and it improves the chances that your message will be understood. OR, don't write first and just talk (but find that harder), and have the software handle the transcript.
posted by banjonaut at 12:58 PM on October 5, 2022
“Because I’m asking you 6-7 questions below, I’m happy set set up a meeting to discuss if that’s easier.” I do that all the time and people appreciate it.
Most people aren’t good at answering multiple questions in a single email, or reading blocks of text. If these are standard questions, any chance you can ask these in a google form or the like?
posted by kapers at 6:07 PM on October 5, 2022 [2 favorites]
Most people aren’t good at answering multiple questions in a single email, or reading blocks of text. If these are standard questions, any chance you can ask these in a google form or the like?
posted by kapers at 6:07 PM on October 5, 2022 [2 favorites]
Also, don’t discount that people are busy and have 1000 priorities higher than your thing, even if your thing is important to you or to the business, and many us get hundreds of emails a day.
Emails are work. Asking someone to respond in detail to emails is assigning them work—your work. So I imagine some of it is a more general “I don’t care about this issue/literally don’t have time/don’t feel like doing work for you.” Not in a mean way, in a “we all have way too much to do” way.
posted by kapers at 6:15 PM on October 5, 2022
Emails are work. Asking someone to respond in detail to emails is assigning them work—your work. So I imagine some of it is a more general “I don’t care about this issue/literally don’t have time/don’t feel like doing work for you.” Not in a mean way, in a “we all have way too much to do” way.
posted by kapers at 6:15 PM on October 5, 2022
Also, sr. manager/director/VP and up get automatic white glove treatment in my world. You either book the meeting or find a way to live without their input. Not saying it’s right, but it’s reality.
posted by kapers at 6:19 PM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by kapers at 6:19 PM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
Regarding your follow up question... written communication can be challenging because the author has to provide all the possible context /information. The reader can easily get 'stuck' if he a) doesn't read it closely b) has a question unaddressed by the text c) reject the premises of the text.
In addition, it can take a fair amount of time to craft thoughtful emails (and responses).
On the flip side, some people are really good at thinking on their feet and can respond without too much pre planning.
posted by oceano at 6:32 PM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
In addition, it can take a fair amount of time to craft thoughtful emails (and responses).
On the flip side, some people are really good at thinking on their feet and can respond without too much pre planning.
posted by oceano at 6:32 PM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
There are also folks whose preferences exist somewhere along the continuum of always email and always meetings. Moreover, some people's preferences might be situational. So you might find it helpful to be specific when asking about preferences. For instance, you might ask person X if generally speaking if there is a preference for status updates (with no action required on person's X's end) via email or via a call. You might want to clarify with person Y, if there is a mode preference for addressing action items that require person Y's input.
In addition, you may be able to ask a colleague for any tips about communicating with person Z. Does colleague know if person's Z email inbox is a black hole?
posted by oceano at 8:28 PM on October 5, 2022
In addition, you may be able to ask a colleague for any tips about communicating with person Z. Does colleague know if person's Z email inbox is a black hole?
posted by oceano at 8:28 PM on October 5, 2022
I work in a role that sounds somewhat like yours inasmuch as I do a lot of emailing and much of my work is moving questions and answers around. My team defaults to email and we are all very much "email people", but we also block off a few hours of our week for office hours and have a form where our client teams can schedule them, because it was clear to us that there was consistent demand for meetings with us even if that meeting was just us saying "OK, we will research that and get back to you". Anywhere that people are able to contact us, we link to both "how to consult" and "how to schedule our office hours" so people can self-sort into "meeting people" vs "email people". If you don't have that kind of channel to communicate how to interact with you, you could put a link to your office hours scheduler in your email signature.
Our office hours scheduler also requires people to create a brief presentation about their question, so we are able to prep for office hours and hopefully answer their question on the spot rather than saying "OK, we will research that and get back to you." I'm biased because I built the office hours scheduler but I think it works great.
posted by potrzebie at 10:05 PM on October 6, 2022
Our office hours scheduler also requires people to create a brief presentation about their question, so we are able to prep for office hours and hopefully answer their question on the spot rather than saying "OK, we will research that and get back to you." I'm biased because I built the office hours scheduler but I think it works great.
posted by potrzebie at 10:05 PM on October 6, 2022
(a) if their emails are all very short, as opposed to paragraphs or bullets or structured. That may imply that they think "no one could wade through all that!" (Flip side of me taking notes and presenting some sort of document in every meeting because how can anyone be expected to just pay attention to talking that long??)
(b) if you get caught in the muck with email and find you are repeating yourself or dealing with some strange misunderstanding and want to just reset, try a change of medium
One other thing that isn't about the person but more the situation: if someone is unsure about an answer or can't give you the answer they want to, over email they may go silent or ignore the question or bluster at you, and a conversation face to face with a smile would feel like lower stakes so they can say, "gosh, I'm not really sure" or otherwise give an answer that might embarrass them to have to spell out in writing. It becomes easier to answer you than to ignore you.
posted by Lady Li at 12:42 AM on October 7, 2022
(b) if you get caught in the muck with email and find you are repeating yourself or dealing with some strange misunderstanding and want to just reset, try a change of medium
One other thing that isn't about the person but more the situation: if someone is unsure about an answer or can't give you the answer they want to, over email they may go silent or ignore the question or bluster at you, and a conversation face to face with a smile would feel like lower stakes so they can say, "gosh, I'm not really sure" or otherwise give an answer that might embarrass them to have to spell out in writing. It becomes easier to answer you than to ignore you.
posted by Lady Li at 12:42 AM on October 7, 2022
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That said, if you're finding out answers to questions like "is this approach to the tool feasible," you might end your email with an invitation to drop a meeting on your calendar if they want to discuss.
I realize this isn't a direct answer but I kind of think that spending energy trying to figure out the right approach for each person might be better spent building a single approach that will flex to peoples' preferences.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 8:54 AM on October 5, 2022 [4 favorites]