How to Chill: A Guide for the Non-Chill

September 9, 2022 9:31 AM

I've got an upcoming week off work dedicated to just relaxing and resetting after having a non-stop year. How do I make sure I don't stress myself out about destressing?

I am not very good at "doing nothing" in an actually refreshing way, either I find some activity (or better yet, three different activities to bounce between) and get caught up in that, or I scroll mindlessly.

I do have some goals - to do light workouts, including going for a swim, and walks in the park; reading books; going to the movies. I'll be staying at home, not travelling, and want to ensure I don't end up crawling the walls.

I'm definitely suffering from overload - my memory and attention span is crapping out, I sleep poorly, my energy is shot, and I've been moody as hell. I'm not expecting to magically solve that with some time off work but I am hoping for a bit of a reset.

posted by Gin and Broadband to Health & Fitness (14 answers total)

Do something (or things) that get you out of your usual space(s). Make your day feel different by stepping as far out of the norm as you can. Go somewhere new, meet someone for lunch somewhere you don't normally go. Try a new cuisine or a new sport. Go for a walk somewhere you haven't been before. Borrow a friend's dog. Maximize difference to avoid being in the rut of what you normally do, so you won't be thinking along the usual tracks.
posted by biffa at 9:40 AM on September 9, 2022 [3 favorites]

Oh hey, I also have this problem!

Here are some strategies I use:
- Take off my watch
- Put my phone away
- Have one Activity for the day, and that Activity is the only one I plan to do
- Because I love to sit at places and read, decide where I am going to go to sit and read in advance

I hope this helps you!
posted by sevensnowflakes at 9:40 AM on September 9, 2022 [6 favorites]

Assuming you've got the right sort of weather for it, start each day by taking a book with you for a walk in the park. (Do you live somewhere big enough that you can choose a different park every day?) When you feel like a break from walking, you can sit and read the book. It'll be easier to concentrate on than it would be at home because you won't be surrounded by stuff around the house that needs doing, and because your phone (with its reflective screen) will be less tempting in the sunlight.

If you make that the first thing you do each day, then even if you choose to spend the rest of the day scrolling mindlessly, it's impossible for you to lose the whole of any day to things that aren't all that refreshing. And there's a decent chance that starting the day with something that's on your list of goals will help you stay out of that rut anyway.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 9:44 AM on September 9, 2022 [6 favorites]

I think you need one day at the start where the only goal is doing mindless things to get it out of your system. Tell yourself you can't do anything productive like working out on day one and just faff about and waste all the time and do all the scrolling. You only need to feed and water yourself on that day. Personally, when I do that for 2 days in a row, I find myself with an urge to leave the house for any reason at all. Day 2 can be making up a loose plan of which day you will do each thing. Don't assign more than two things to each day, one active and one passive. Shopping is active, movies are passive. Working out is active, reading is passive.

I'd add a nap or some quiet time to each day. If you sleep, great, but just laying down and breathing can do wonders.
posted by soelo at 9:47 AM on September 9, 2022 [2 favorites]

You could pick something you typically do quickly, and slow it down. Instead of showering, take a bath. Instead of roughly chopping the onion, take the time to finely dice it and see if you notice a difference.
posted by gray17 at 9:51 AM on September 9, 2022 [2 favorites]

I think the trick is to be mindful about your choices. If you are crawling the walls, that's not a good vacation. When you notice that, ask yourself "what do I really want to do now?" and then choose to do that. Maybe you really need some time to mindless scroll - go ahead and do it. But first ask yourself is there something else you would really rather do? (Not "should do" or "would be better to do" but actually prefer to do)
posted by metahawk at 9:57 AM on September 9, 2022 [5 favorites]

Make your first day a sick day. Your body needs to experience real actual rest, and if you let it do so early on you might find it gets a taste for it. Comfy clothes, binge media, lay down as much of the day as you can. Lean in to being cozy and babying yourself some. If you need to provide sickbed distraction get a book of puzzles or a sewing/coloring/paint-by-numbers project. Try to avoid screens unless they are TV.
posted by Lyn Never at 10:05 AM on September 9, 2022 [5 favorites]

When I have extended time off, I make a list of some specific things I want to get done—some big and some very small. I divide them up by the number of days off, and then decide each day which ones I’ll do. This lets me feel like I’ve accomplished things with my time off but also leaves plenty of time to do fun things or even just do nothing.
Honestly, I usually don’t get to everything on the list, but it gives some structure to my time off and it works for me.
posted by bookmammal at 10:07 AM on September 9, 2022 [2 favorites]

Can you book a massage or take a yoga class?

I also think tackling a simple home project that's been pushed aside for weeks, months, years is very soothing as it's about reclaiming your space. Clean out closets, take things to Goodwill; go through old photos or decide which digital ones to print and put in an album, reorganize your books or kitchen pantry. Put on some nice music or a podcast while you do such things it's a nice way to spend time.
posted by brookeb at 10:58 AM on September 9, 2022 [1 favorite]

This sounds familiar!

My rules for myself on my last staycation were as follows:
I had to actively plan 1-2 things to do each day by the night before. These could be and often were low stake enjoyable activities like finishing a book or walking somewhere nice.
The next day, I did those things.
Outside of those things, I was not allowed to stew anxiously over whether I was spending the rest of my day in a perfectly optimal manner or not. If I felt like staying up late mindlessly scrolling one night, that was fine as long as I didn't spend the whole time nagging myself that I should really be doing something else.

It did not entirely solve the issue but it worked out pretty well.
posted by eponym at 2:34 PM on September 9, 2022 [3 favorites]

Sleep late or as late as you can.
Visit a different park each day.
Get to know your public library - they are usually "chill", and it's good to know what resources are there.
Put your phone in airplane mode except for two different one hour periods each day, and if you feel unsafe when out at a park or wherever.
Listen to whatever music is relaxing to you.
posted by TimHare at 2:55 PM on September 9, 2022 [2 favorites]

If it were me I’d do absolutely nothing for a day or two, to reset my brain. After that you’ll have more clarity and energy on what would be meaningful to you to be doing.
posted by matildaben at 9:14 PM on September 9, 2022 [2 favorites]

Exercise and use a sauna (if you can access one). You will feel amazing afterwards!
posted by MarnieSrpings at 5:14 AM on September 10, 2022 [1 favorite]

or I scroll mindlessly.

Do whatever you need to do to stop you looking at social media etc at all for at least three days.

I sometimes roll my eyes a bit at "digital detox" type stuff but I also know from experience that forcing myself to not look at the internet for a few days really changes my perspective.

It's difficult at first, the twitch of "I'll just check Twitter" (or whatever) isn't even a conscious decision, because it's so automatic, whenever I have an idle second. But if I force myself through that initial boring hump, a few days later it seems bizarre to me that I felt the need to check social media so often. And that feeling lasts for a while, even if I start "using" again, occasionally.
posted by fabius at 6:05 AM on September 10, 2022 [1 favorite]