Gift for a New Convert to Judaism?
September 6, 2022 7:35 PM Subscribe
After a long process and a lot of deep work, my brother just completed the process of converting to Judaism. I know this was a meaningful and important experience for him, and since I live far away and am unable to mark the occasion in person, I would like to send him a small gift to recognize what has been a very transformative time in his life.
I am non-religious myself, however, and know very little about Judaism and Jewish traditions in particular. So, two questions:
1) Is a gift appropriate for this occasion?
2) If so, can you recommend something that speaks meaningfully to this event and process?
My instinct is to give him a book or two on Jewish faith and/or history, so specific recommendations there would be much appreciated. I do know he's done a looot of reading on these subjects already, however, so "deeper cuts" (rather than introductory or standard texts) would be a safer bet that he hasn't already read/own them. I'd also appreciate recommendations for non-book things that would also make an appropriate gift for the occasion.
Thank you!
I am non-religious myself, however, and know very little about Judaism and Jewish traditions in particular. So, two questions:
1) Is a gift appropriate for this occasion?
2) If so, can you recommend something that speaks meaningfully to this event and process?
My instinct is to give him a book or two on Jewish faith and/or history, so specific recommendations there would be much appreciated. I do know he's done a looot of reading on these subjects already, however, so "deeper cuts" (rather than introductory or standard texts) would be a safer bet that he hasn't already read/own them. I'd also appreciate recommendations for non-book things that would also make an appropriate gift for the occasion.
Thank you!
It's not a book on history as such, but this might work: The Word is an anthology of quotes of "Jewish Wisdom", both from traditional scriptural sources and from notable Jewish people from all walks of life (i.e., you'll get quotes from the Talmud alongside quotes from people like Bob Dylan). It's organized by Things The Quotes Are About - faith, perseverance, humor, family, birth, death, love, marriage, nationalism, war and peace, etc. So it's kind of like a Jewish-specific Bartlett's Book of Familiar Quotations. Not the weightiest of tomes, but sometimes having something to dip into now and then is also good.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:49 PM on September 6, 2022
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:49 PM on September 6, 2022
A lovely menorah? We have one that I display year round.
posted by emmatrotsky at 7:56 PM on September 6, 2022
posted by emmatrotsky at 7:56 PM on September 6, 2022
Does he like to cook? Is he going to host holidays? How about a cookbook with traditional Jewish recipes, or a menorah, or a Seder plate (if he doesn't have those already)? Include a bottle of wine, maybe from Israel?
posted by never.was.and.never.will.be. at 7:56 PM on September 6, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by never.was.and.never.will.be. at 7:56 PM on September 6, 2022 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Michael Twitty's book Koshersoul came out a couple weeks ago and looks terrific. The author is a convert.
posted by toastedcheese at 8:00 PM on September 6, 2022 [10 favorites]
posted by toastedcheese at 8:00 PM on September 6, 2022 [10 favorites]
Best answer: A gift would be entirely appropriate, assuming he is the kind of person that likes to receive them.
You could hand-embellish or purchase a special or unique yarmulke (or a few, they notoriously go missing only to be found in pockets years later) that would go with your brother’s style or interests. Depending on the kind of Judaism he’s converted to he probably already has some simple ones but it would be lovely to be able to wear something from a family member that symbolizes their acceptance or celebration of his choice and hard work.
On preview, I was going to buy Twitty’s new book myself. He’s a treasure. If your brother is interested in the history of food at all, it’s probably a good gift.
posted by Mizu at 8:05 PM on September 6, 2022 [2 favorites]
You could hand-embellish or purchase a special or unique yarmulke (or a few, they notoriously go missing only to be found in pockets years later) that would go with your brother’s style or interests. Depending on the kind of Judaism he’s converted to he probably already has some simple ones but it would be lovely to be able to wear something from a family member that symbolizes their acceptance or celebration of his choice and hard work.
On preview, I was going to buy Twitty’s new book myself. He’s a treasure. If your brother is interested in the history of food at all, it’s probably a good gift.
posted by Mizu at 8:05 PM on September 6, 2022 [2 favorites]
A nice challa board/plate could be used every week as a centerplace of the shabbat table.
posted by sammyo at 8:06 PM on September 6, 2022
posted by sammyo at 8:06 PM on September 6, 2022
I would suggest you check out the Jewish Museum gift shop , Modern Tribe, or the Israel Museum gift shop, and as suggested above purchase a lovely ritual object - shabbos candlesticks, kiddush cup, miriam's cup, seder plate, challah board, challah cover, menorah, etc. It's okay if he already has one of these items or if someone else gets it for him, because most Jewish households will have more than one of these things.
Also it's typical to give tzedakah (charity) in a person's name, often in a multiple of 18 since it's a numerical symbol for the word Chai, which means life or luck. Mazon (Jewish Response to Hunger), HIAS, (Hebrew Immigrant Aid Soceity) , Hazon (Jewish Lab for Sustainability), American Jewish World Service are all organizations worthy of your dollars.
posted by brookeb at 8:22 PM on September 6, 2022 [3 favorites]
Also it's typical to give tzedakah (charity) in a person's name, often in a multiple of 18 since it's a numerical symbol for the word Chai, which means life or luck. Mazon (Jewish Response to Hunger), HIAS, (Hebrew Immigrant Aid Soceity) , Hazon (Jewish Lab for Sustainability), American Jewish World Service are all organizations worthy of your dollars.
posted by brookeb at 8:22 PM on September 6, 2022 [3 favorites]
A little warning: before considering buying a gift from Israel in particular (sending money there), make sure he would appreciate that. I have Jewish friends, converts and not, who would definitely not.
posted by fritley at 8:27 PM on September 6, 2022 [10 favorites]
posted by fritley at 8:27 PM on September 6, 2022 [10 favorites]
lovely idea.
"Judaica" is a whole category of stuff and can be as inexpensive as a keychain with a blessing for the traveler on it to yearly ritual use objects to expensive and fancy silver candlesticks for the Sabbath. So really it's a question of taste and desired expenditure level.
I like this set of matzah and afikoman envelopes for Passover . Shabbat candlesticks are nice too and you can never have too many. A travel set can be useful and cute.
Memail me if you need advice on specific things, I'm happy to help.
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:32 PM on September 6, 2022
"Judaica" is a whole category of stuff and can be as inexpensive as a keychain with a blessing for the traveler on it to yearly ritual use objects to expensive and fancy silver candlesticks for the Sabbath. So really it's a question of taste and desired expenditure level.
I like this set of matzah and afikoman envelopes for Passover . Shabbat candlesticks are nice too and you can never have too many. A travel set can be useful and cute.
Memail me if you need advice on specific things, I'm happy to help.
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:32 PM on September 6, 2022
Another vote for a mezuzah.
posted by 2 cats in the yard at 9:20 PM on September 6, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by 2 cats in the yard at 9:20 PM on September 6, 2022 [5 favorites]
A good fountain pen was the traditional 20th Century bar mitzvah gift, to be used for a lifetime.
posted by Scram at 11:21 PM on September 6, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by Scram at 11:21 PM on September 6, 2022 [2 favorites]
What stream of Judaism did he convert to? That could make a big difference for some gifts. In particular, if he's Orthodox some nice gifts might not be usable because they won't meet Orthodox requirements--there are lovely mezuzah cases that won't fit most deemed-kosher-by-Orthodox-standards mezuzah scrolls, there are lovely menorahs that aren't considered kosher by Orthodox standards, etc. Books and so forth might matter too in terms of what perspective they have.
To elaborate: Orthodox people tend to use mezuzah scrolls that are larger because they want scrolls that are hand-written and clear to read with no mistakes or possible mistakes. Orthodox guideline is also that for a menorah, all the candles other than the shamas need to be the same height and in a straight line.
Source: I grew up Orthodox
posted by needs more cowbell at 1:51 AM on September 7, 2022 [6 favorites]
To elaborate: Orthodox people tend to use mezuzah scrolls that are larger because they want scrolls that are hand-written and clear to read with no mistakes or possible mistakes. Orthodox guideline is also that for a menorah, all the candles other than the shamas need to be the same height and in a straight line.
Source: I grew up Orthodox
posted by needs more cowbell at 1:51 AM on September 7, 2022 [6 favorites]
Thirding mezuzah, with the caveats that needs more cowbell cited.
There's some really great Jewish artists on Etsy and Instagram, most likely including some in your or his local area, making/decorating assorted items of judaica like mezuzah covers, candlesticks, challah covers, passover seder plates, havdalah candles and so on. For both making-it-personal-and-local reasons and not-getting-involved-in-the-question-of-supporting-Israel-financially reasons, I'd choose someone local if possible.
posted by cabbage raccoon at 2:12 AM on September 7, 2022
There's some really great Jewish artists on Etsy and Instagram, most likely including some in your or his local area, making/decorating assorted items of judaica like mezuzah covers, candlesticks, challah covers, passover seder plates, havdalah candles and so on. For both making-it-personal-and-local reasons and not-getting-involved-in-the-question-of-supporting-Israel-financially reasons, I'd choose someone local if possible.
posted by cabbage raccoon at 2:12 AM on September 7, 2022
I got a Kiddush cup for my bat mitzvah and I can't overstate how much I've never used it but it was still a lovely and appropriate gift. A menorah I would use, but those can be very much a matter of taste as well as having religious specifications that may or may not matter to him. (Many or most of the menorahs I like the look of are not actually kosher.)
This is sort of an out of left field suggestion but: if he's not Orthodox and he has a sense of humor, consider Leo Rosten's The Joys of Yiddish? Or Harvey Pekar's Yiddishkeit, or even Tablet Magazine's book The 100 Most Jewish Foods. He's probably extensively studied the religious and ethical thought already, but I'm not sure they give converts a proper grounding in the jokes, the lingo, and the outlook. Conversion is a religious process, not a cultural one, but Jewish religion and culture are hard to separate!
posted by babelfish at 6:59 AM on September 7, 2022 [1 favorite]
This is sort of an out of left field suggestion but: if he's not Orthodox and he has a sense of humor, consider Leo Rosten's The Joys of Yiddish? Or Harvey Pekar's Yiddishkeit, or even Tablet Magazine's book The 100 Most Jewish Foods. He's probably extensively studied the religious and ethical thought already, but I'm not sure they give converts a proper grounding in the jokes, the lingo, and the outlook. Conversion is a religious process, not a cultural one, but Jewish religion and culture are hard to separate!
posted by babelfish at 6:59 AM on September 7, 2022 [1 favorite]
A nice kippah or a nice (checked out as properly kosher) mezuzah case are safe bets, if only because even if he's already got some those are things you can always use multiples of. And you can get some really lovely ones if you want something a bit special.
posted by BlueNorther at 10:32 AM on September 7, 2022
posted by BlueNorther at 10:32 AM on September 7, 2022
One more suggestion, but not a gift. You might acknowledge the Jewish holidays as they happen - the major ones like Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Passover and Chanukah. Jewish holidays begin at sunset. Many secular calendars make note of the Jewish holidays and I think it might be very meaningful to him if you were to wish him a Happy Passover or whatever. I know when my non-Jewish friends are aware of our holidays, it makes me feel seen and loved. You're a good sister.
posted by Kangaroo at 3:43 PM on September 7, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by Kangaroo at 3:43 PM on September 7, 2022 [5 favorites]
okay, since my comment was removed by the mods: avoiding Israeli products is not at all a mainstream or common motivator for Jews, OP, and I would hate for you to come away from this otherwise kind thread thinking that it is. A lot of nice Judaica is made in Israel. A lot isn't. Buy what you like.
posted by fingersandtoes at 6:48 PM on September 7, 2022
posted by fingersandtoes at 6:48 PM on September 7, 2022
You could call him up and say "This is your mother. How come you never call me?" That would make it official.
posted by Carlo at 8:10 PM on September 8, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by Carlo at 8:10 PM on September 8, 2022 [3 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by shadygrove at 7:48 PM on September 6, 2022 [6 favorites]