How formal are these dresses?
March 15, 2022 4:43 PM Subscribe
I often have trouble figuring out the formality level of a dress. I've linked to a few specific dresses that I own - are they appropriate for an upcoming wedding? Can you help suggest situations in which you think it might be appropriate to wear them?
There are two events at this wedding: the first is cocktail attire and the second is semi-formal (and comes with an explicit note that anything from cocktail dresses to gowns should be appropriate). I have a black cocktail dress that I know would work, but I prefer colorful clothing and so would like to get a second opinion on some other options.
Beyond just this wedding, I'd really appreciate any thoughts you all have on how you'd characterize these dresses. Would you wear them to a formal event? a nice-casual workplace? school? the grocery store? etc. I love wearing dresses and am tempted to wear them all the time, but I've often been unexpectedly overdressed in casual situations and am trying to learn the heuristics that make clothes appear more or less formal. These dresses are tricky for me because they have elements that seem fancy to me (length, ruffles, expensive) but also informal elements (like casual-seeming fabrics).
Anyway, here are the dresses, and my stab at how formal they are - am I off-base?:
This silk dress from Madewell (it looks longer on me than on the model. to me, this reads as a cocktail dress that wouldn't look out of place in nice-casual situations but might look a little underdressed in semi-formal situations)
This high-low dress from Express (to me, this reads as a casual dress because of the high-low hem, but one that wouldn't look out of place in cocktail or semi-formal situations because it's quite simplistic)
This maxi dress from Yala (to me, this reads as a semi-formal dress because of the length, but it's confusing because the fabric makes it feel beachy... and therefore less formal?)
There are two events at this wedding: the first is cocktail attire and the second is semi-formal (and comes with an explicit note that anything from cocktail dresses to gowns should be appropriate). I have a black cocktail dress that I know would work, but I prefer colorful clothing and so would like to get a second opinion on some other options.
Beyond just this wedding, I'd really appreciate any thoughts you all have on how you'd characterize these dresses. Would you wear them to a formal event? a nice-casual workplace? school? the grocery store? etc. I love wearing dresses and am tempted to wear them all the time, but I've often been unexpectedly overdressed in casual situations and am trying to learn the heuristics that make clothes appear more or less formal. These dresses are tricky for me because they have elements that seem fancy to me (length, ruffles, expensive) but also informal elements (like casual-seeming fabrics).
Anyway, here are the dresses, and my stab at how formal they are - am I off-base?:
This silk dress from Madewell (it looks longer on me than on the model. to me, this reads as a cocktail dress that wouldn't look out of place in nice-casual situations but might look a little underdressed in semi-formal situations)
This high-low dress from Express (to me, this reads as a casual dress because of the high-low hem, but one that wouldn't look out of place in cocktail or semi-formal situations because it's quite simplistic)
This maxi dress from Yala (to me, this reads as a semi-formal dress because of the length, but it's confusing because the fabric makes it feel beachy... and therefore less formal?)
I am an extremely casual person, I am not good at dresses (though I wear them) and the idea of wedding appropriate attire makes me want to run and hide in a ratty hoodie and a pair of birks.
To me, all three of these dresses are casual. I would wear all of them (well not the first one but only because it has flowers and that's not my thing) and that's my barometer for casual.
I don't know what to tell you TO wear, but I don't think any of these are quite enough.
posted by phunniemee at 4:51 PM on March 15, 2022 [14 favorites]
To me, all three of these dresses are casual. I would wear all of them (well not the first one but only because it has flowers and that's not my thing) and that's my barometer for casual.
I don't know what to tell you TO wear, but I don't think any of these are quite enough.
posted by phunniemee at 4:51 PM on March 15, 2022 [14 favorites]
I agree with you on the second but the first is a “day dress” to me because of the print, and would wear to brunch with sneakers or sandals, but not to cocktails with heels. The third is straight up casual, beachy— but that color and Grecian cut in a different fabric would be formal.
posted by kapers at 4:52 PM on March 15, 2022 [14 favorites]
posted by kapers at 4:52 PM on March 15, 2022 [14 favorites]
I agree with the above that they all seem casual but the middle one could be dressed up most easily. The last one has a formal shape, but the knit fabric makes it casual.
posted by acantha at 4:52 PM on March 15, 2022 [12 favorites]
posted by acantha at 4:52 PM on March 15, 2022 [12 favorites]
I think with the right jewelry and shoes dress #2 could be ok for a wedding. The first dress is more like something I’d wear to work. The third is way too casual.
posted by cakelite at 4:53 PM on March 15, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by cakelite at 4:53 PM on March 15, 2022 [4 favorites]
I wouldn’t consider any of those formal enough for a wedding. But it does depend a lot on location and the crowd? In general I also think they are too informal for work (too short, too short, and too beachy) but I might be a lot older than you!
I would wear the heck out of them on weekends, to the store, dinner with friends, etc.
posted by chocotaco at 4:55 PM on March 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
I would wear the heck out of them on weekends, to the store, dinner with friends, etc.
posted by chocotaco at 4:55 PM on March 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
Also re: work, I wouldn’t wear the third to work but the first two for sure.
posted by kapers at 4:56 PM on March 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by kapers at 4:56 PM on March 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
They’re all casual to me; the second could potentially be dressed up a bit if you wanted to wear high-impact accessories like a large, chunky, colourful necklace. The first I’d wear to the grocery store. The last one I would wear to a party on the beach or perhaps to a backyard picnic, but it reads as being only step up from a bathing suit cover up to my eye. I’d only wear it to an outdoors event.
posted by Edna Million at 4:57 PM on March 15, 2022 [11 favorites]
posted by Edna Million at 4:57 PM on March 15, 2022 [11 favorites]
In general knits are casual and not “appropriate” for cocktail or semi formal attire.
posted by raccoon409 at 5:01 PM on March 15, 2022 [13 favorites]
posted by raccoon409 at 5:01 PM on March 15, 2022 [13 favorites]
It's hard to say what would be considered formal in your setting and culture, and among people your age. For me, all of these dresses would be deemed casual.
Although it is silk, the print and cut of the yellow dress reads like an everyday dress one might wear to a lunch with friends. The purple maxi dress seems like a casual knit and similar to something I see women wear shopping around town with sandals. The cut and length of the pink dress remind me of what I have seen a teen/young 20 wear to a graduation.
Everyone is different, but for me, when I want to wear a dress to a formal/semi formal social occasion, I lean towards a dress with structure, solid color or subtle pattern, and mid-long length. I also tend to pick darker colors. But again, everyone is different in what they prefer and contexts vary.
posted by fies at 5:09 PM on March 15, 2022 [7 favorites]
Although it is silk, the print and cut of the yellow dress reads like an everyday dress one might wear to a lunch with friends. The purple maxi dress seems like a casual knit and similar to something I see women wear shopping around town with sandals. The cut and length of the pink dress remind me of what I have seen a teen/young 20 wear to a graduation.
Everyone is different, but for me, when I want to wear a dress to a formal/semi formal social occasion, I lean towards a dress with structure, solid color or subtle pattern, and mid-long length. I also tend to pick darker colors. But again, everyone is different in what they prefer and contexts vary.
posted by fies at 5:09 PM on March 15, 2022 [7 favorites]
The first would be okay for a summer wedding, especially outside, and where it wasn't designated as formal, if the shoes and accessories were also dressier. I would also, depending on the season, wear it work or out to brunch or lunch or really for anything casual and up a little bit.
I agree with everyone also that the last is casual because the material looks casual. But, with dressy shoes, it could perhaps be dressed up (it's hard to tell but the sandals on the model also give a casual vibe). I don't recommend it for this wedding. A summer barefoot beach wedding? Sure! I also think it's fine for around town in the summer, for brunch, etc. The length doesn't make it formal given the proliferation of very casual maxi dresses.
The second looks to have the most potential for dressing up, especially with dressy shoes and jewelry. I would also wear it work (perhaps with a cardigan and maybe, when it's cooler, with boots, which would dress it down a bit). It might be a bit dressy for just around town, but that also depends on the shoes. With sneakers, it could work in many casual settings.
For the wedding, how about dress number two for the evening cocktail event, and then your black cocktail dress for the wedding itself? You could get some bright jewelry or a scarf or shoes for the cocktail dress if you want color?
posted by bluedaisy at 5:15 PM on March 15, 2022 [5 favorites]
I agree with everyone also that the last is casual because the material looks casual. But, with dressy shoes, it could perhaps be dressed up (it's hard to tell but the sandals on the model also give a casual vibe). I don't recommend it for this wedding. A summer barefoot beach wedding? Sure! I also think it's fine for around town in the summer, for brunch, etc. The length doesn't make it formal given the proliferation of very casual maxi dresses.
The second looks to have the most potential for dressing up, especially with dressy shoes and jewelry. I would also wear it work (perhaps with a cardigan and maybe, when it's cooler, with boots, which would dress it down a bit). It might be a bit dressy for just around town, but that also depends on the shoes. With sneakers, it could work in many casual settings.
For the wedding, how about dress number two for the evening cocktail event, and then your black cocktail dress for the wedding itself? You could get some bright jewelry or a scarf or shoes for the cocktail dress if you want color?
posted by bluedaisy at 5:15 PM on March 15, 2022 [5 favorites]
I would say, in general, the brighter the color, the more the dress needs to be very obviously formal in several other ways. And then, the opposite can also hold true to a certain extent - a darker, more formal color can make a slightly more casual dress seem more formal.
So your first and second dresses - in a solid, darker color, like black/navy/very dark green/dark burgundy - they can tip over into cocktail dresses. The last dress, though long, has a few elements that make it more solidly in the casual arena - a braided belt, the fabric, and then the color is just a shade bright. The braided belt and fabric mean that dress would have a hard time fitting into a non-casual event.
Length and cost aren’t obvious ways to tell the formality of the dress, but I agree that it can be tricky! You might find it helpful to browse rent the runway, where they categorize dresses by event type. There will be outliers there, but you might start to see general themes.
posted by umwhat at 5:16 PM on March 15, 2022 [18 favorites]
So your first and second dresses - in a solid, darker color, like black/navy/very dark green/dark burgundy - they can tip over into cocktail dresses. The last dress, though long, has a few elements that make it more solidly in the casual arena - a braided belt, the fabric, and then the color is just a shade bright. The braided belt and fabric mean that dress would have a hard time fitting into a non-casual event.
Length and cost aren’t obvious ways to tell the formality of the dress, but I agree that it can be tricky! You might find it helpful to browse rent the runway, where they categorize dresses by event type. There will be outliers there, but you might start to see general themes.
posted by umwhat at 5:16 PM on March 15, 2022 [18 favorites]
My read on those as a cis woman who's spent her life code-switching between preppy and hippie environments in both California and New England:
* the Madewell dress looks like it would be appropriate for a daytime garden party where seating on chairs would be appropriate, or having lunch somewhere mildly upscale where you might possibly sit outdoors on a patio. It doesn't read as "cocktail" attire to me; for that, you need materials more like satin, velvet, silk, crepe; sequins, lace, certain types of embroidery, and other significant decorative elements included. Those can definitely occur in colors that are not black; you will see a lot of silk and velvet in jewel tones, in particular. But for this one, the print makes it perfect for a preppy lunch event. I would wear this to a daytime wedding but it sounds like both of your wedding events are nighttime? In which case I wouldn't.
* the Express dress - are you sure you linked the right one? I don't see a high-low hem on it. Material-wise, though, this is probably the closest of the three to cocktail-appropriate; it looks like a matte, possibly formal fabric (though it might not be; the shape is similar to those "skater dresses" that were popular a few years back, and those are much more skintight "bodycon" elastic). The neon color also makes it read more casually than if it were either black or a jewel tone - it's a color you'd expect to see more in a club than at a "semi-formal" event. The short sleeves make it read a bit more casual and "young" than if they were cap sleeves or straps. Because it's plain, though, you will need to dress it up with accessories to make it read more "cocktail." Think large-scale costume jewelry, like a high-impact necklace or bracelet or cocktail ring (pick one to stand out), a fancy wrap (think faux fur, chiffon, silk), and your hair in an updo. This reads the most formal of the three, but it won't quite get you to "semi-formal."
* the Yala dress reads like you're going to hang out on a beach at night and possibly get your dress wet and squeal about it, or maybe you're going to a music festival and still want to dress up even though you know it's going to be messy and you'll need to throw it in the wash as soon as you get home. This is *entirely* due to the fabric; I've seen renditions of this dress done in satin and crepe and they read much more upscale and cocktail or semi-formal appropriate. Overall, this dress reads as the least formal of the three. You'd be more likely to get away with this one step up the "formality" scale in California than New England.
In a "business casual" office, I would wear the Madewell and Express dresses with a blazer or jardigan or nice cardigan, though I would expect to hear remarks about the Express dress and being slightly "overdressed*" for the office; the Yala dress I would save for a "creative casual" office, and also expect to cover up my arms with a cardigan or similar.
(*Business and Party scales of formality not always matching up, operating along different vectors.)
posted by Pandora Kouti at 5:17 PM on March 15, 2022 [13 favorites]
* the Madewell dress looks like it would be appropriate for a daytime garden party where seating on chairs would be appropriate, or having lunch somewhere mildly upscale where you might possibly sit outdoors on a patio. It doesn't read as "cocktail" attire to me; for that, you need materials more like satin, velvet, silk, crepe; sequins, lace, certain types of embroidery, and other significant decorative elements included. Those can definitely occur in colors that are not black; you will see a lot of silk and velvet in jewel tones, in particular. But for this one, the print makes it perfect for a preppy lunch event. I would wear this to a daytime wedding but it sounds like both of your wedding events are nighttime? In which case I wouldn't.
* the Express dress - are you sure you linked the right one? I don't see a high-low hem on it. Material-wise, though, this is probably the closest of the three to cocktail-appropriate; it looks like a matte, possibly formal fabric (though it might not be; the shape is similar to those "skater dresses" that were popular a few years back, and those are much more skintight "bodycon" elastic). The neon color also makes it read more casually than if it were either black or a jewel tone - it's a color you'd expect to see more in a club than at a "semi-formal" event. The short sleeves make it read a bit more casual and "young" than if they were cap sleeves or straps. Because it's plain, though, you will need to dress it up with accessories to make it read more "cocktail." Think large-scale costume jewelry, like a high-impact necklace or bracelet or cocktail ring (pick one to stand out), a fancy wrap (think faux fur, chiffon, silk), and your hair in an updo. This reads the most formal of the three, but it won't quite get you to "semi-formal."
* the Yala dress reads like you're going to hang out on a beach at night and possibly get your dress wet and squeal about it, or maybe you're going to a music festival and still want to dress up even though you know it's going to be messy and you'll need to throw it in the wash as soon as you get home. This is *entirely* due to the fabric; I've seen renditions of this dress done in satin and crepe and they read much more upscale and cocktail or semi-formal appropriate. Overall, this dress reads as the least formal of the three. You'd be more likely to get away with this one step up the "formality" scale in California than New England.
In a "business casual" office, I would wear the Madewell and Express dresses with a blazer or jardigan or nice cardigan, though I would expect to hear remarks about the Express dress and being slightly "overdressed*" for the office; the Yala dress I would save for a "creative casual" office, and also expect to cover up my arms with a cardigan or similar.
(*Business and Party scales of formality not always matching up, operating along different vectors.)
posted by Pandora Kouti at 5:17 PM on March 15, 2022 [13 favorites]
Is the expectation that guests will change between the ceremony and reception? That's not common for US American weddings I've attended.
Regardless, I agree that all three of these dresses read casual to me; #1 and #2 are "brunch with friends or on a daytime date" and #3 is beachwear.
posted by basalganglia at 5:21 PM on March 15, 2022 [7 favorites]
Regardless, I agree that all three of these dresses read casual to me; #1 and #2 are "brunch with friends or on a daytime date" and #3 is beachwear.
posted by basalganglia at 5:21 PM on March 15, 2022 [7 favorites]
I've had to navigate this as a single fafter of three girls that attended private schools. It's confusing indeed and much more so for females than males!
Cocktail and semi-formal are the same thing, but pay attention to any other information the host provides for clues to what they mean, as dress codes are much more fluid these days and people often use words that don't mean what they think they do in the context of dress codes.
The first and third dresses are nowhere near semi-formal and I would class them as smart casual, depending on what you wear with them, which could make them OK for work. The second one is slightly too short for cocktail/semi-formal but marginally OK, except the modifier of the host's note tells me they are looking for people to go more towards the formal end of semi-formal, so probably not quite formal enough for that event. You can get away with a shorter dress if it's black and particularly if it's fairly straight rather than 'flouncy' like that one is and accessories and shoes can push a dress up or down the scale.
It's a confusing time to try and navigate dress codes. My observation is that younger people tend to underdress against the stated code (males much more so than females) and older people tend to be more strictly aligned to the code. This adds another dimension - if the crowd is going to be younger, you can tend towards the casual end of the code and easily fit in with a dress that would not work at an event where your parents are the predominant age group. I would tend toward being more formal than more casual if you're unsure where the line is.
posted by dg at 5:23 PM on March 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
Cocktail and semi-formal are the same thing, but pay attention to any other information the host provides for clues to what they mean, as dress codes are much more fluid these days and people often use words that don't mean what they think they do in the context of dress codes.
The first and third dresses are nowhere near semi-formal and I would class them as smart casual, depending on what you wear with them, which could make them OK for work. The second one is slightly too short for cocktail/semi-formal but marginally OK, except the modifier of the host's note tells me they are looking for people to go more towards the formal end of semi-formal, so probably not quite formal enough for that event. You can get away with a shorter dress if it's black and particularly if it's fairly straight rather than 'flouncy' like that one is and accessories and shoes can push a dress up or down the scale.
It's a confusing time to try and navigate dress codes. My observation is that younger people tend to underdress against the stated code (males much more so than females) and older people tend to be more strictly aligned to the code. This adds another dimension - if the crowd is going to be younger, you can tend towards the casual end of the code and easily fit in with a dress that would not work at an event where your parents are the predominant age group. I would tend toward being more formal than more casual if you're unsure where the line is.
posted by dg at 5:23 PM on March 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
Here is a useful heuristic: If it wouldn't look out of place with a classic jean jacket over it, it's not cocktail or semi-formal. (All of these would look very cute with a jean jacket!)
posted by babelfish at 5:29 PM on March 15, 2022 [36 favorites]
posted by babelfish at 5:29 PM on March 15, 2022 [36 favorites]
What is the dress code of the wedding? Unless the dress code is "black tie" or "white tie" I think the second dress could certainly be fine, especially if paired with dress shoes, etc.
The cut + print of the first dress makes it look very casual to me, even if it's silk - not right for a formal event, but fine for work/everyday. The third dress is a little confusing to me as I can't tell what the material is, but generally I find it's unusual for people to wear dresses that long to work, for whatever reason- it's also a bit loud for most workplaces.
posted by coffeecat at 5:35 PM on March 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
The cut + print of the first dress makes it look very casual to me, even if it's silk - not right for a formal event, but fine for work/everyday. The third dress is a little confusing to me as I can't tell what the material is, but generally I find it's unusual for people to wear dresses that long to work, for whatever reason- it's also a bit loud for most workplaces.
posted by coffeecat at 5:35 PM on March 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
I agree that these three dresses are casual due to the fabric and cut. The pattern on the first one also makes it more of a "garden wedding" than "evening wedding." Your black cocktail dress, though - I totally get that colors are better and a sea of black dresses can be dull - so what about some colorful accessories?
posted by Knowyournuts at 5:40 PM on March 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by Knowyournuts at 5:40 PM on March 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
It’s unfortunately regional in addition to class and culture based, so to be adept at this sort of thing you have to have an awareness of them all and ability to code switch. Most of my extended family is on the east coast and every time I have a family occasion I have to tick my mental fanciness box up about three notches so I don’t look underdressed. But when I am shopping locally in Seattle there are barely any options that fit east coast cocktail or fancier!
I think the Madewell dress, being silk, is the fanciest but it reads extremely garden party/fancy brunch. You’d need dainty sandals and delicate fine jewelry to achieve some kind of fancy, The other two are very casual, although the fit and flare is a basic staple shape you could increase in fanciness with an embellished cropped jacket in something like silk or velvet, but it would be a stretch. The maxi is definitely a chill casual dress, grocery store or beachwear, lounging on the deck, festival or summer fair.
How old are you, where is the wedding, and who are you in relation to the couple? If you are young (under thirty), the wedding is outdoors or at a resort or in the Pacific Northwest, and you won’t be in any family photographs, you can get away with being a lot more casual and funky. If you are mid thirties or older, the location is in a hotel or other formal setting or in the Northeast or South, and you are close enough to the couple to be in posed wedding photos, you should aim fancier.
I think you might look for dresses that are more tailored. That doesn’t mean they need to be very fitted, but that they have distinct tailored shape and details. You might have success looking at options from Boden, which does a good job of straddling the colorful/formal line.
posted by Mizu at 6:09 PM on March 15, 2022 [4 favorites]
I think the Madewell dress, being silk, is the fanciest but it reads extremely garden party/fancy brunch. You’d need dainty sandals and delicate fine jewelry to achieve some kind of fancy, The other two are very casual, although the fit and flare is a basic staple shape you could increase in fanciness with an embellished cropped jacket in something like silk or velvet, but it would be a stretch. The maxi is definitely a chill casual dress, grocery store or beachwear, lounging on the deck, festival or summer fair.
How old are you, where is the wedding, and who are you in relation to the couple? If you are young (under thirty), the wedding is outdoors or at a resort or in the Pacific Northwest, and you won’t be in any family photographs, you can get away with being a lot more casual and funky. If you are mid thirties or older, the location is in a hotel or other formal setting or in the Northeast or South, and you are close enough to the couple to be in posed wedding photos, you should aim fancier.
I think you might look for dresses that are more tailored. That doesn’t mean they need to be very fitted, but that they have distinct tailored shape and details. You might have success looking at options from Boden, which does a good job of straddling the colorful/formal line.
posted by Mizu at 6:09 PM on March 15, 2022 [4 favorites]
To my eyes, anything above the knee is informal on an adult. Weddings are a calf-length or below event. Work is a knee-to-calf length event. My understanding re: length is that an above-the-knee skirt is equivalent to shorts, so if it would be inappropriate to wear shorts to the event, then it would be inappropriate to wear anything above the knee. So the first two dresses are inherently casual.
The last magenta dress would be OK for a wedding. If I'm right and it's a jersey knit, then it is a little informal (too much like a t-shirt) but in the drapey column dress format I think it's fine. A flat or low mule instead of a sandal, an updo (if that's compatible with your hair), understated jewelry, a nice wrap and clutch, you're all good for a formal event.
Don't wear either black or white to a wedding. With white you can be perceived as trying to insult/upstage the bride-- with black you can be perceived as mourning the wedding. Bright colors are mostly OK, but again: do not be perceived as upstaging the bride. More formal = more muted. I gather this advice is kind of old-fashioned, but weddings bring many generations together. (It's also culturally specific to my milieu, which may not be your milieu, so take it with a grain of salt.) Bright color is mostly a matter of taste, especially at an evening wedding with a dinner reception, but if you think you might be asked to be in the formal photos ask what color the want you to wear so you don't clash.
posted by blnkfrnk at 6:19 PM on March 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
The last magenta dress would be OK for a wedding. If I'm right and it's a jersey knit, then it is a little informal (too much like a t-shirt) but in the drapey column dress format I think it's fine. A flat or low mule instead of a sandal, an updo (if that's compatible with your hair), understated jewelry, a nice wrap and clutch, you're all good for a formal event.
Don't wear either black or white to a wedding. With white you can be perceived as trying to insult/upstage the bride-- with black you can be perceived as mourning the wedding. Bright colors are mostly OK, but again: do not be perceived as upstaging the bride. More formal = more muted. I gather this advice is kind of old-fashioned, but weddings bring many generations together. (It's also culturally specific to my milieu, which may not be your milieu, so take it with a grain of salt.) Bright color is mostly a matter of taste, especially at an evening wedding with a dinner reception, but if you think you might be asked to be in the formal photos ask what color the want you to wear so you don't clash.
posted by blnkfrnk at 6:19 PM on March 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
I almost wore the first dress (well, a variant Madewell sold 5 years ago in navy with cactus flowers) to a California wedding with a chill groom, but I knew I was skirting the line on the dress code. Then I learned that the bride was extremely not chill and they changed the fine print on the wedding invitation to “semi-formal” 3 weeks before the wedding and I had to scramble to find a different dress at the last minute.
Don’t be me, find a more formal dress to wear so you don’t have to panic buy something.
The material on that dress is fine - silk with a nice lining - but the print makes it too casual.
posted by A Blue Moon at 6:21 PM on March 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
Don’t be me, find a more formal dress to wear so you don’t have to panic buy something.
The material on that dress is fine - silk with a nice lining - but the print makes it too casual.
posted by A Blue Moon at 6:21 PM on March 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
Another fun wrinkle: be aware that “cocktail” is sometimes code for “knee length.” I.e., not short and not a gown; right at the knee.
The second dress isn’t semi-formal in any way, and depending on where it hits you it may be too short for a traditional “cocktail dress” if your hosts are following that convention. However I don’t think anyone’s gonna kick you out for wearing it but you might feel a little self-conscious if everyone else is dressed like Betty Draper at a party.
posted by kapers at 6:39 PM on March 15, 2022 [6 favorites]
The second dress isn’t semi-formal in any way, and depending on where it hits you it may be too short for a traditional “cocktail dress” if your hosts are following that convention. However I don’t think anyone’s gonna kick you out for wearing it but you might feel a little self-conscious if everyone else is dressed like Betty Draper at a party.
posted by kapers at 6:39 PM on March 15, 2022 [6 favorites]
Response by poster: Wow, thanks so much for the thoughtful and specific answers, everyone! These not only helped me clarify what to wear to the wedding, they've also given me a lot of useful heuristics for thinking about what makes a dress formal/casual/etc so I can also try to get some use out of these dresses.
My takeaway is that it wouldn't be a good idea to wear any of the three linked dresses to a wedding, even if I could maybe make some of them work with the right accessorizing - they're too likely to be read as underdressed. So I'm going to wear other dresses that I'm more confident are cocktail wear.
Thanks again!
posted by chaiyai at 7:00 PM on March 15, 2022 [8 favorites]
My takeaway is that it wouldn't be a good idea to wear any of the three linked dresses to a wedding, even if I could maybe make some of them work with the right accessorizing - they're too likely to be read as underdressed. So I'm going to wear other dresses that I'm more confident are cocktail wear.
Thanks again!
posted by chaiyai at 7:00 PM on March 15, 2022 [8 favorites]
I've been told I dress like a rich housewife, and my dressing up events tend to skew middle to upper class. I have a reasonable high number of dresses in my closet, and would wear the first two you showed. I generally don't give a damn if I'm a notch or two overdressed.
They decrease in formality, from 1 to 3. None of them are at all semiformal. 1 is cute, you could definitely wear it to a nice brunch, possibly a beach wedding or garden wedding, but not a Garden Party Wedding. (Fancy!) The color and especially pattern is too bright for a semiformal to gowns wedding, in my book. I would wear it to school, casual Friday at work, mayyybbeee regular work depending on what the environment is like, and I'd feel a little overdressed going to the regular grocery store, but not the fancy one in the Rich Zipcode. I'd wear it for a low key date, a trip to the museum, maybe a middle range restaurant, especially for birthdays or lunch.
2 is very adorable, and I own one much like it in a color that works for me. Other people have said it gives a decent background to add dressing up, but I'm not sure there's really anything that could be done to pull it into semiformal territory. It's just not a serious event dress. Concerts, the park, school but not Meet With The Professor to discuss something important, laid back dates, mingles, casual Friday at work, or everyday if it's a hip cool place to work. I'd think my bank teller was under-dressed in it. Not that I officially have a bank teller. But, it's youngcutsey. I would not wear it if I needed someone to think I'm older than I look.
3 Absolutely not. This is a breach dress, a swimsuit coverup, a laundry day dress, a lounging around the house dress. The park if I'm getting sweaty, the casual gym or yoga class, the casual grocery store where I don't expect to flirt with anyone. Answering the door for pizza at 8:55pm on a Sunday because I was too lazy to cook. A similar dress in a good fabric can look snazzy indeed, classical and classy, but that dress ain't it. Its a reasonable blank slate to fancy up, but that material makes me think jewellery is overkill on that dress.
posted by Jacen at 7:14 PM on March 15, 2022 [4 favorites]
They decrease in formality, from 1 to 3. None of them are at all semiformal. 1 is cute, you could definitely wear it to a nice brunch, possibly a beach wedding or garden wedding, but not a Garden Party Wedding. (Fancy!) The color and especially pattern is too bright for a semiformal to gowns wedding, in my book. I would wear it to school, casual Friday at work, mayyybbeee regular work depending on what the environment is like, and I'd feel a little overdressed going to the regular grocery store, but not the fancy one in the Rich Zipcode. I'd wear it for a low key date, a trip to the museum, maybe a middle range restaurant, especially for birthdays or lunch.
2 is very adorable, and I own one much like it in a color that works for me. Other people have said it gives a decent background to add dressing up, but I'm not sure there's really anything that could be done to pull it into semiformal territory. It's just not a serious event dress. Concerts, the park, school but not Meet With The Professor to discuss something important, laid back dates, mingles, casual Friday at work, or everyday if it's a hip cool place to work. I'd think my bank teller was under-dressed in it. Not that I officially have a bank teller. But, it's youngcutsey. I would not wear it if I needed someone to think I'm older than I look.
3 Absolutely not. This is a breach dress, a swimsuit coverup, a laundry day dress, a lounging around the house dress. The park if I'm getting sweaty, the casual gym or yoga class, the casual grocery store where I don't expect to flirt with anyone. Answering the door for pizza at 8:55pm on a Sunday because I was too lazy to cook. A similar dress in a good fabric can look snazzy indeed, classical and classy, but that dress ain't it. Its a reasonable blank slate to fancy up, but that material makes me think jewellery is overkill on that dress.
posted by Jacen at 7:14 PM on March 15, 2022 [4 favorites]
These dresses are all informal summer dresses.
The yellow one is a casual cut, and the cheery print makes it look casual. On the model, the short length makes it very informal - beach, park, brunch, etc. Not office or wedding appropriate. Even if it were knee length, I wouldn’t wear it to a workplace.
The pink one is the most formal because it’s more simple and structured, but still not formal enough for a wedding or workplace. Cute for a date.
The purple one is extremely informal as it’s made of T-shirt material and looks “mushy”. I would wear it to the beach or park, definitely not workplace or wedding.
To me formal means-
More structured shape
Or can be fluttery but would need to be silky
Not transparent
Not too sexy
Dramatic prints can be ok but usually not all over prints
It’s always better to over dress.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 7:37 PM on March 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
The yellow one is a casual cut, and the cheery print makes it look casual. On the model, the short length makes it very informal - beach, park, brunch, etc. Not office or wedding appropriate. Even if it were knee length, I wouldn’t wear it to a workplace.
The pink one is the most formal because it’s more simple and structured, but still not formal enough for a wedding or workplace. Cute for a date.
The purple one is extremely informal as it’s made of T-shirt material and looks “mushy”. I would wear it to the beach or park, definitely not workplace or wedding.
To me formal means-
More structured shape
Or can be fluttery but would need to be silky
Not transparent
Not too sexy
Dramatic prints can be ok but usually not all over prints
It’s always better to over dress.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 7:37 PM on March 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
(you can totally wear black to a wedding but it would seem a bit dour and dramatic for a daytime garden wedding kind of thing. Evening? Absolutely.)
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 9:59 PM on March 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 9:59 PM on March 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
I bought a yellow silk floral Madewell dress for an afternoon wedding in Telluride, to be worn with very fancy cute cowboy boots and (when chilled) a short denim jacket. BUT one of the grooms was with me when I picked it out, and it was very much a "chic but casual Western" wedding.
Please do check with your local standards on wearing black to weddings ... it's done but in a lot of places it's still definitely NOT done.
Agree with everyone else that Dress Number Two has the best potential.
posted by cyndigo at 6:21 PM on March 16, 2022
Please do check with your local standards on wearing black to weddings ... it's done but in a lot of places it's still definitely NOT done.
Agree with everyone else that Dress Number Two has the best potential.
posted by cyndigo at 6:21 PM on March 16, 2022
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by sm1tten at 4:48 PM on March 15, 2022 [58 favorites]