What should I do with this poster of my colleague?
February 21, 2022 10:31 AM Subscribe
TLDR: A friend of mine gave me a poster that’s a portrait of a colleague.
I recently moved, and a family friend gave me a poster from a long-running stage show in the town where I grew up. It’s a picture of the two kids who played the child leads in the show. One of the kids in the show is in the same line of business as I am—we’re not close, but we’ve worked for some of the same companies and I hired her to do a short-term job for me. (When we first met, her name was familiar, and I was surprised when I looked her up and found out why.)
I feel weird hanging a picture of one of my colleagues on my wall. She’s spoken about her time in the show—and has been doing some archival work related to the show—but she’s also expressed some ambivalence about her time working on it.
My question is this: What should I do with this print? Should I hang onto it? Should I tell her I have it and offer to send it to her? Should I donate it to the historical society in the town where we grew up?
I recently moved, and a family friend gave me a poster from a long-running stage show in the town where I grew up. It’s a picture of the two kids who played the child leads in the show. One of the kids in the show is in the same line of business as I am—we’re not close, but we’ve worked for some of the same companies and I hired her to do a short-term job for me. (When we first met, her name was familiar, and I was surprised when I looked her up and found out why.)
I feel weird hanging a picture of one of my colleagues on my wall. She’s spoken about her time in the show—and has been doing some archival work related to the show—but she’s also expressed some ambivalence about her time working on it.
My question is this: What should I do with this print? Should I hang onto it? Should I tell her I have it and offer to send it to her? Should I donate it to the historical society in the town where we grew up?
If she doesn't have it, I bet she'd love it! I think you could offer it to her without any weirdness or problems...
posted by bluedaisy at 10:47 AM on February 21, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by bluedaisy at 10:47 AM on February 21, 2022 [3 favorites]
Response by poster: I don’t want to threadsit, but some answers for your questions:
• The family friend gave me the poster because he went to see the show with my family, and he knew what the show meant to me. It was part of a larger package of photos he and his daughters had taken, postcards, etc. I don’t think he knows what my colleague has been doing since she left the show, and I didn’t know which poster he gave me until I looked at the whole package.
• I probably would have hung this up if I didn’t know her, though I would have preferred a photo of the whole cast.
posted by pxe2000 at 10:49 AM on February 21, 2022
• The family friend gave me the poster because he went to see the show with my family, and he knew what the show meant to me. It was part of a larger package of photos he and his daughters had taken, postcards, etc. I don’t think he knows what my colleague has been doing since she left the show, and I didn’t know which poster he gave me until I looked at the whole package.
• I probably would have hung this up if I didn’t know her, though I would have preferred a photo of the whole cast.
posted by pxe2000 at 10:49 AM on February 21, 2022
I think the fact that it is meaningful to you makes this a bit tougher, then. Personally I'd offer it to her first; she might even have something you'd prefer that she could "trade" you for.
posted by sm1tten at 10:53 AM on February 21, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by sm1tten at 10:53 AM on February 21, 2022 [1 favorite]
You have other stuff from the same gift package, so just give this one piece to her for her archives. That's where it belongs really anyway.
posted by DarlingBri at 11:11 AM on February 21, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by DarlingBri at 11:11 AM on February 21, 2022 [1 favorite]
If she has it already, ask her to autograph yours next time/if you see her, and you would probably feel better about hanging it up if you want.
posted by Seboshin at 11:12 AM on February 21, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by Seboshin at 11:12 AM on February 21, 2022 [3 favorites]
Response by poster: I just sent my colleague an email explaining what happened and asking if she wants the poster. We’ll see what happens from there. Thank you all for your suggestions—I feel less weird about having this ❤️
posted by pxe2000 at 11:14 AM on February 21, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by pxe2000 at 11:14 AM on February 21, 2022 [4 favorites]
You are so thoughtful for being concerned about this. I was a child actor. If I were your colleague I would not take it personally or think it was weird. It seems like your reasons for wanting to hang it on your wall have nothing to do with the actors themselves. Theater people are pretty used to having their faces displayed.
Is there any real reason she even needs to be informed of your decor choices? I would probably feel weird to be told about it or asked if it was okay.
She may feel differently. I think the real question is do you think you can try to not feel weird about it? I hope so. You should be able to enjoy the art in your home unreservedly.
posted by RobinofFrocksley at 11:19 AM on February 21, 2022 [2 favorites]
Is there any real reason she even needs to be informed of your decor choices? I would probably feel weird to be told about it or asked if it was okay.
She may feel differently. I think the real question is do you think you can try to not feel weird about it? I hope so. You should be able to enjoy the art in your home unreservedly.
posted by RobinofFrocksley at 11:19 AM on February 21, 2022 [2 favorites]
It seems like you have all the advice you need, but one other consideration would be how often this colleague would be coming to your house and seeing this poster and its placement. If this colleague comes to your house often and this poster has pride of place above your mantle or somewhere else prominent like behind you in a Zoom meeting, that might be weird. However, if this colleague is unlikely to see the poster either because they don't come over to your house or you have it in room where casual guests don't go, then it probably doesn't matter if you have it or hang it up.
posted by brookeb at 2:07 PM on February 21, 2022
posted by brookeb at 2:07 PM on February 21, 2022
For me, the best thing to do with stuff I don’t know what to do with is to throw it away and never think of it again.
posted by acantha at 8:56 AM on February 22, 2022
posted by acantha at 8:56 AM on February 22, 2022
Response by poster: Just to wrap this thread up, I heard back from my colleague. She passed on the poster because she already had multiple copies, but she wants to speak with me for an archival project she’s doing about the show. She also gave me a contact at the historical society that maintains an archive on the show.
This was a much better outcome than I expected, so thank you everyone.
posted by pxe2000 at 2:16 PM on February 22, 2022
This was a much better outcome than I expected, so thank you everyone.
posted by pxe2000 at 2:16 PM on February 22, 2022
This thread is closed to new comments.
If you WANT to hang it, but feel weird about it, my answer is different than if you just have a poster you don't particularly want. In that case, I'd offer it to her and then the historical society.
posted by gideonfrog at 10:35 AM on February 21, 2022 [2 favorites]