Six month to a year sabbatical -- with kids. What would you do?
February 15, 2022 9:45 AM Subscribe
After postponing several times, my family has 6 months to a year of doing pretty much anything. Complication: school age kids. Ideas?
I have had a six-month sabbatical that I have long meant to use to travel somewhere with my family. (I could extend it to a year, if I did something that allowed some commuting back to London.)
We first meant to take it when my children were a lot younger, so we could spend a year in France, but a close family member became ill and we used it (gratefully) to spend our last months with her.
But now my kids are 6 and 8. They are in school in London. I had loved the idea of them learning a language when they were young, but at this age, they would struggle A LOT -- and is it worth it just for a year? My spouse would also have to work, but could do this anywhere.
Ideas I've had:
1. Bilingual school somewhere -- they could start to learn the language a bit but have the comfort of English too. I would LOVE if they had some immersion in another language. But where? (Would only be worth it for a year, correct? Would they really learn a new language that quickly? I suspect this is also expensive as would be a private school.)
2. Just travel -- LOVE this idea but would have to make it so spouse could work. Also we have learned that we hate homeschooling and that our kids get really lonely without some playmates.
3. Move closer to family for just six months, just to give my kids the experience of being near my aging parents and their cousins -- too disruptive?
4. Just spend six months in some great English-speaking city: New York? LA? But again, too disruptive for just six months in school?
Have you done this or have suggestions? Would love your ideas/experiences/anything really!
I have had a six-month sabbatical that I have long meant to use to travel somewhere with my family. (I could extend it to a year, if I did something that allowed some commuting back to London.)
We first meant to take it when my children were a lot younger, so we could spend a year in France, but a close family member became ill and we used it (gratefully) to spend our last months with her.
But now my kids are 6 and 8. They are in school in London. I had loved the idea of them learning a language when they were young, but at this age, they would struggle A LOT -- and is it worth it just for a year? My spouse would also have to work, but could do this anywhere.
Ideas I've had:
1. Bilingual school somewhere -- they could start to learn the language a bit but have the comfort of English too. I would LOVE if they had some immersion in another language. But where? (Would only be worth it for a year, correct? Would they really learn a new language that quickly? I suspect this is also expensive as would be a private school.)
2. Just travel -- LOVE this idea but would have to make it so spouse could work. Also we have learned that we hate homeschooling and that our kids get really lonely without some playmates.
3. Move closer to family for just six months, just to give my kids the experience of being near my aging parents and their cousins -- too disruptive?
4. Just spend six months in some great English-speaking city: New York? LA? But again, too disruptive for just six months in school?
Have you done this or have suggestions? Would love your ideas/experiences/anything really!
I'm American so also biased, but I would rather eat my own young than subject them to America.
I do think France for a year is a great idea, and would give you flight connections to London to make it possible. You have a lot of school options outside of Paris.
posted by DarlingBri at 10:08 AM on February 15, 2022 [10 favorites]
I do think France for a year is a great idea, and would give you flight connections to London to make it possible. You have a lot of school options outside of Paris.
posted by DarlingBri at 10:08 AM on February 15, 2022 [10 favorites]
I vote option 3. This is a period that's hard to get back. Even if your parents live a long time, they will be less energetic and may have health issues that keep them from enjoying your kids. Your kids are also young enough that they will probably enjoy hanging out with family. They won't as much when they hit their teens.
Option 1 would be my next vote. There are bilingual private schools in Mexico, for example, which probably will be affordable if you convert your currency. You could also do a mix of options 1 and 4 by going to a former English colony like India, where there are plenty of international schools and amenities for expats, and you can get around speaking only English, but you have some immersion in a new culture. If India feels too adventurous, Singapore should be viable, though I don't know how affordable it is.
posted by redlines at 10:11 AM on February 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
Option 1 would be my next vote. There are bilingual private schools in Mexico, for example, which probably will be affordable if you convert your currency. You could also do a mix of options 1 and 4 by going to a former English colony like India, where there are plenty of international schools and amenities for expats, and you can get around speaking only English, but you have some immersion in a new culture. If India feels too adventurous, Singapore should be viable, though I don't know how affordable it is.
posted by redlines at 10:11 AM on February 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
I think a lot depends on the individual kids in question. How do they react to new experiences? How are they currently doing in school? What do they think?
Can you start your kids taking French/ Spanish language lessons now and then send them to summer camp in the target language before school starts?
I agree that America is probably the worst of both worlds... between "too similar" and "too different."
posted by oceano at 10:37 AM on February 15, 2022 [5 favorites]
Can you start your kids taking French/ Spanish language lessons now and then send them to summer camp in the target language before school starts?
I agree that America is probably the worst of both worlds... between "too similar" and "too different."
posted by oceano at 10:37 AM on February 15, 2022 [5 favorites]
I experienced this as a kid (13 yo from America to France) and have planned to do it with my kids but life intervened several times. Like DarlingBri, I'm American and similarly would not recommend America!
When my parents set it up, my siblings and I took language classes for about two months before we departed, so we weren't totally at sea. My parents also occasionally spoke French at home. It helped, but we were drop kicked into the French schooling system with very little language skills so I really struggled with, for instance, middle school math and European history that was being delivered in French while I had, at best, tourist level skills. Since your kids are younger, I think the stakes would be lower and their experience not as difficult.
Socializing is another aspect. At this age they're mostly still dependent on you for their socializing, so you'd be arranging and shepherding that. However, as 12 and 13 year olds, my brothers and I were loathe to go back to having our interactions with other kids organized by our parents, yet we weren't skilled enough to navigate them on our own. It was difficult, and I spent a lot of time wandering and exploring the city on my own.
My advice on the schooling aspect would be to choose the 6 or 12 months that span an academic year (so, September - August, not January - December). That way the emotional/developmental trajectory of the kids' academic year at home is complete before they go away, and the emotional/developmental trajectory of the kids' academic year abroad is complete. If you span academic years, I think it would be tough on them. But I'm only basing that on my experience, which was being gone for half of one academic year, then coming back for the first part of another year to a different school. (It was the transition to high school, so I attended three schools for 8th-9th grades.)
There are so many options now for language classes online that I think you could prepare them reasonably. Things like italki, duolingo, etc., and you could even take weekend breaks or school breaks to your proposed country before the sabbatical to give them a foothold.
Despite being set up to fail in many ways, that year in France has impacted me positively, in feeling like a real citizen of the world, able to meet people of all kinds, hold my own, and figure out how to get around, literally and figuratively. As an American kid this is much more pronounced than if you're a European moving somewhere else in Europe, but I absolutely think it's worth it for a year.
posted by cocoagirl at 10:39 AM on February 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
When my parents set it up, my siblings and I took language classes for about two months before we departed, so we weren't totally at sea. My parents also occasionally spoke French at home. It helped, but we were drop kicked into the French schooling system with very little language skills so I really struggled with, for instance, middle school math and European history that was being delivered in French while I had, at best, tourist level skills. Since your kids are younger, I think the stakes would be lower and their experience not as difficult.
Socializing is another aspect. At this age they're mostly still dependent on you for their socializing, so you'd be arranging and shepherding that. However, as 12 and 13 year olds, my brothers and I were loathe to go back to having our interactions with other kids organized by our parents, yet we weren't skilled enough to navigate them on our own. It was difficult, and I spent a lot of time wandering and exploring the city on my own.
My advice on the schooling aspect would be to choose the 6 or 12 months that span an academic year (so, September - August, not January - December). That way the emotional/developmental trajectory of the kids' academic year at home is complete before they go away, and the emotional/developmental trajectory of the kids' academic year abroad is complete. If you span academic years, I think it would be tough on them. But I'm only basing that on my experience, which was being gone for half of one academic year, then coming back for the first part of another year to a different school. (It was the transition to high school, so I attended three schools for 8th-9th grades.)
There are so many options now for language classes online that I think you could prepare them reasonably. Things like italki, duolingo, etc., and you could even take weekend breaks or school breaks to your proposed country before the sabbatical to give them a foothold.
Despite being set up to fail in many ways, that year in France has impacted me positively, in feeling like a real citizen of the world, able to meet people of all kinds, hold my own, and figure out how to get around, literally and figuratively. As an American kid this is much more pronounced than if you're a European moving somewhere else in Europe, but I absolutely think it's worth it for a year.
posted by cocoagirl at 10:39 AM on February 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
Two small data points. I (life time resident of USA) went through Catholic schools and took Spanish in Grade school and High School. Granted, cultural/language immersion is preferable, but languages can be learned by kids.
Also, because I worked for about 20 years about an 80 minute car drive from home, there were so many sport games, plays, school presentations, etc. that my kids were in that I either couldn't get to or arrived late due to ridiculous traffic on that day. So I would be sure to use the time to be fully supportive of whatever the kids are involved in, scholastic, hobbies or sports.
posted by forthright at 10:59 AM on February 15, 2022
Also, because I worked for about 20 years about an 80 minute car drive from home, there were so many sport games, plays, school presentations, etc. that my kids were in that I either couldn't get to or arrived late due to ridiculous traffic on that day. So I would be sure to use the time to be fully supportive of whatever the kids are involved in, scholastic, hobbies or sports.
posted by forthright at 10:59 AM on February 15, 2022
My (American) mom spent two years living in Tokyo as a teenager, and she remembers this as two of the happiest years of her childhood. She enrolled in an American school, which at the time (this would have been the 1960s, no clue what it's like today) was incredibly diverse - she got to meet kids from all over the world, and since many students were, like her, just there for a year or two, there were no cliques and she actually made far more friends there than she had in her previous school. On the negative side, no, she didn't learn much Japanese, just the basics. But it was a life changing experience for her.
So, one way is to approach this less as a sure fire way to get your kids to become fluent, but a chance to broaden their horizons. France seems like a good choice given how easy it would be to travel back to London.
posted by coffeecat at 11:06 AM on February 15, 2022 [6 favorites]
So, one way is to approach this less as a sure fire way to get your kids to become fluent, but a chance to broaden their horizons. France seems like a good choice given how easy it would be to travel back to London.
posted by coffeecat at 11:06 AM on February 15, 2022 [6 favorites]
I went through this at age 9 - 6 months in Paris, including actual French school in what sounds like an older version of this system for new immigrants, plus Polish embassy school on weekends, after maybe two months of weekly beginner French tutoring that just about taught me to introduce myself. Adventure of a lifetime that left me with a Parisian accent and an ability to babble in French without a pause (comparatively, I learned German starting at age 14 and though my vocabulary is more advanced, my speaking is WAY behind my French speech). And yes, making friends with kids from all over the world, because we were all new, all discriminated against by the French kids, and all looking for connection, even though I joined mid-year.
Your kids are the perfect age for it, old enough to remember the experience and young enough for that brain plasticity. *mumble* years later, I can still navigate the Louvre with my eyes closed because we were there every Sunday. Go for it!
posted by I claim sanctuary at 11:18 AM on February 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
Your kids are the perfect age for it, old enough to remember the experience and young enough for that brain plasticity. *mumble* years later, I can still navigate the Louvre with my eyes closed because we were there every Sunday. Go for it!
posted by I claim sanctuary at 11:18 AM on February 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
I would be tempted to relocate to an attractive place where your kids (and you?) can learn a new language. Pull them out of school 4-8 weeks early, travel around your destination place learning everything you can, then land in a city and spend the summer doing day camps aimed at language learners and exploring the region, then go home for the beginning of the school year. (I looked into this in Spain, still might do it, there’s a lot of options.)
posted by vunder at 12:13 PM on February 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by vunder at 12:13 PM on February 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
#3, but use that as your "base camp" for traveling alone and with family. Spending this time together will build strong bonds within your family - this would be a priceless lifelong gift to your kids (not to mention everyone else too), and IMO you should not pass up this opportunity. And the support of extended family can help you to take multiple week-long breaks alone and/or as a couple (make sure you return the favor and watch the littler cousins while their parents take a break). If your family lives somewhere that allows you to commute to London, that means your kids' school year is not disrupted either.
posted by MiraK at 1:18 PM on February 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by MiraK at 1:18 PM on February 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
My family relocated to a foreign language country with kids aged 3, 5, 9, and 12. We had a few months of language classes before moving and then went into full time school in the local language. Even the two older kids who switched to English language school after about a year learned near fluently.
posted by bq at 1:44 PM on February 15, 2022
posted by bq at 1:44 PM on February 15, 2022
Well, I guess I'd ask what your goals are: adventure? Explore new places? Get away? Learn a language? Expose your kids to a different culture or climate? Expose yourself to a different culture or climate? I'm going to push on some of what I think are assumptions, but I might be missing some information too.
At your kids' age, I think six months is plenty of time for them to begin learn a new language if they are immersed in local schools. But do you have a way to support them continuing with that language when you return home? I'm not sure there's as much utility to this if you don't because if they don't have a way of maintaining it, they'll lose it pretty fast, too. So I'd have a goal other than language learning, even if it's cultural immersion. I'm also wondering why you think this will be difficult. Do you mean because of the age only? They are still pretty young, and they'll learn fast.
I also question the need to have them enrolled in formal school during that time. I'm not suggesting homeschool. I'm suggesting something more along the lines of unschooling: let your kids explore what's interesting and exciting to them. This is easier when you have access to local libraries and books, of course. But if you want to travel and explore and not feel compelled to be in any one place, then I think what they might learn seeing all these places more than makes up for missed curriculum. They'd have a hard time having playmates without school if you're traveling anyway.
If you do enroll them in school, I'm not sure you need a private school. It depends on where you go. If you were in the US, for example, you could enroll them in free public school. (And I'd also skip the biggest megacities in the US and maybe plan for a smaller city with travel.) This may be the case in other countries, too.
Another thing to consider, if you do enroll your kids in school: is it possible that you could all go at the same time, around the start of the school year, and then one parent could stay while the other heads home so the kids could have a full academic year in the school?
I think your kids are at an okay age for any of this (it gets a lot harder for them to be away from their friends as they approach adolescence), but also, what do they think?
posted by bluedaisy at 2:02 PM on February 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
At your kids' age, I think six months is plenty of time for them to begin learn a new language if they are immersed in local schools. But do you have a way to support them continuing with that language when you return home? I'm not sure there's as much utility to this if you don't because if they don't have a way of maintaining it, they'll lose it pretty fast, too. So I'd have a goal other than language learning, even if it's cultural immersion. I'm also wondering why you think this will be difficult. Do you mean because of the age only? They are still pretty young, and they'll learn fast.
I also question the need to have them enrolled in formal school during that time. I'm not suggesting homeschool. I'm suggesting something more along the lines of unschooling: let your kids explore what's interesting and exciting to them. This is easier when you have access to local libraries and books, of course. But if you want to travel and explore and not feel compelled to be in any one place, then I think what they might learn seeing all these places more than makes up for missed curriculum. They'd have a hard time having playmates without school if you're traveling anyway.
If you do enroll them in school, I'm not sure you need a private school. It depends on where you go. If you were in the US, for example, you could enroll them in free public school. (And I'd also skip the biggest megacities in the US and maybe plan for a smaller city with travel.) This may be the case in other countries, too.
Another thing to consider, if you do enroll your kids in school: is it possible that you could all go at the same time, around the start of the school year, and then one parent could stay while the other heads home so the kids could have a full academic year in the school?
I think your kids are at an okay age for any of this (it gets a lot harder for them to be away from their friends as they approach adolescence), but also, what do they think?
posted by bluedaisy at 2:02 PM on February 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
Young kids learn languages amazingly fast so, with a bit of appropriate tuition before leaving to get them started, they should have little trouble if you choose another language to live in. This is the option I would choose, I think - another language and a very different culture for 6-12 months will give your kids skills they will use their entire life and that are worth a bit of disruption to their 'formal' school progress.
If you decide to stick with somewhere English-speaking, perhaps look at somewhere in the Southern Hemisphere - Australia or New Zealand? Spend your six months away during the English winter and have three summers in a row! You could also use this as a base to travel to some of the places that may not be feasible from the UK - Asia, South Pacific etc. I know Australia allows travellers to enrol in public primary school for little or no cost and think NZ probably does also. I do agree with whoever said that travelling to Australia, NZ, US, Canada etc may not be 'different enough' to satisfy your yearning for variety and unique experiences, though.
If you are going to do this and, all else being equal, immersing yourself and your family in something as different as possible will give the most memorable (could be good, could be bad ...) experience if that's what you are looking for.
posted by dg at 3:20 PM on February 15, 2022
If you decide to stick with somewhere English-speaking, perhaps look at somewhere in the Southern Hemisphere - Australia or New Zealand? Spend your six months away during the English winter and have three summers in a row! You could also use this as a base to travel to some of the places that may not be feasible from the UK - Asia, South Pacific etc. I know Australia allows travellers to enrol in public primary school for little or no cost and think NZ probably does also. I do agree with whoever said that travelling to Australia, NZ, US, Canada etc may not be 'different enough' to satisfy your yearning for variety and unique experiences, though.
If you are going to do this and, all else being equal, immersing yourself and your family in something as different as possible will give the most memorable (could be good, could be bad ...) experience if that's what you are looking for.
posted by dg at 3:20 PM on February 15, 2022
I'm American so also biased, but I would rather eat my own young than subject them to America.
I should have pointed out that I'm American but living in Ireland. If nothing else, when considering the US, a serious question to ask is whether you want to subject your children to active shooter drills in their US schools. I would... very much not want to do that.
I don't know why I didn't think of it but obviously, Ireland is an option. Your kids can be exempted from Irish. You can fly to London in 90 minutes, from Dublin, Cork, Shannon, Knock (no really), and Kerry. I live next door in Cork, but I'd still move my family to Kerry for a year if I had the chance. Houses would be rented furnished so it would be pretty straight-forward, and you can ferry over clothes and pets, same as France.
posted by DarlingBri at 8:24 AM on February 16, 2022
I should have pointed out that I'm American but living in Ireland. If nothing else, when considering the US, a serious question to ask is whether you want to subject your children to active shooter drills in their US schools. I would... very much not want to do that.
I don't know why I didn't think of it but obviously, Ireland is an option. Your kids can be exempted from Irish. You can fly to London in 90 minutes, from Dublin, Cork, Shannon, Knock (no really), and Kerry. I live next door in Cork, but I'd still move my family to Kerry for a year if I had the chance. Houses would be rented furnished so it would be pretty straight-forward, and you can ferry over clothes and pets, same as France.
posted by DarlingBri at 8:24 AM on February 16, 2022
Speaking as someone who spent three months in Scandinavia as a 10 year old and is now the father of two adult children, I wish we had been given this opportunity when my children were that age.
Assuming your children are doing well in school, I would not hesitate to just take them out and not worry about home schooling. You can keep their math skills fresh by having them figure out taxes and tips and you can read a book as a family to keep them interested in language. You can also use museums as educational opportunities.
As to destination, I wouldn't wipe the US off the board especially if the outdoors is attractive to the kids. Many of the National Parks are spectacular and there are museums in all the large cities. I also recommend Scandinavia. The percentage of English speakers is very high and that's where the Vikings lived. And they have excellent hot dogs on the streets of Copenhagen.
My wife's family took the kids out of school for a few months and went to Trinidad where the kids ran free. It was formative for them and they still talk about it, especially the escapades of the brother who poked a jellyfish with a stick and paid for it. Those kids, now adults, are happy and healthy.
posted by donpardo at 9:26 AM on February 16, 2022
Assuming your children are doing well in school, I would not hesitate to just take them out and not worry about home schooling. You can keep their math skills fresh by having them figure out taxes and tips and you can read a book as a family to keep them interested in language. You can also use museums as educational opportunities.
As to destination, I wouldn't wipe the US off the board especially if the outdoors is attractive to the kids. Many of the National Parks are spectacular and there are museums in all the large cities. I also recommend Scandinavia. The percentage of English speakers is very high and that's where the Vikings lived. And they have excellent hot dogs on the streets of Copenhagen.
My wife's family took the kids out of school for a few months and went to Trinidad where the kids ran free. It was formative for them and they still talk about it, especially the escapades of the brother who poked a jellyfish with a stick and paid for it. Those kids, now adults, are happy and healthy.
posted by donpardo at 9:26 AM on February 16, 2022
So exciting!!!
First, if moving closer to family is something you might not get to do... well maybe do that for one or two months.
Travel!
and stay 1-2 months at a time in each location
choose a homebase city at each stop with great infrastructure (wifi, medical care)
a homebase in Medellin, Colombia opens you to a quick flight to the beach, or the Amazon and a 90 minute drive into beautiful country side.
Same with Mexico City.
Same with Bangkok or Chiang Mai
It's hard to research but there are lot of international programs for kids.
Maybe just look for programs that take kids your age. There are some communities of nomads and expats that homeschool kids together and you can probably drop in.
But honestly, if they didn't have school, but had something to fill their time in another country - it would be worth it to lose a few months of schooling. They'll be able to catch up on it later!
You might also look for communities that families participate in... a church? a meditation center? a soccer field?
posted by jander03 at 1:07 PM on February 16, 2022
First, if moving closer to family is something you might not get to do... well maybe do that for one or two months.
Travel!
and stay 1-2 months at a time in each location
choose a homebase city at each stop with great infrastructure (wifi, medical care)
a homebase in Medellin, Colombia opens you to a quick flight to the beach, or the Amazon and a 90 minute drive into beautiful country side.
Same with Mexico City.
Same with Bangkok or Chiang Mai
It's hard to research but there are lot of international programs for kids.
Maybe just look for programs that take kids your age. There are some communities of nomads and expats that homeschool kids together and you can probably drop in.
But honestly, if they didn't have school, but had something to fill their time in another country - it would be worth it to lose a few months of schooling. They'll be able to catch up on it later!
You might also look for communities that families participate in... a church? a meditation center? a soccer field?
posted by jander03 at 1:07 PM on February 16, 2022
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posted by pairofshades at 9:57 AM on February 15, 2022