whither thine biscuits
February 4, 2022 9:39 AM Subscribe
When I was growing up I was always cautioned not to set a can of biscuits on its end, lest it explode. But I see this stuff set on its end in grocery stores all the time now. Is this A Thing? Is biscuit tubing technology making them more robust these days? Or were my parents just being paranoid?
I've tried googling this a few times over the years and most results are about the cans exploding in hot cars or maybe your crescent rolls have botulism. I don't see anything about canned biscuits exploding based on tube directionality, which makes me think this isn't a thing. But there were so many times as a child where I'd be helping unload groceries and stick a thing of flaky grands on its end on the counter for just a few seconds, only to have my mom dive across the kitchen saying "you can't do that!!" so I figure there must be SOME kind of history there?
Anyway, if you can shed any light on this now-crumbling belief that I've held for over three decades that would be great. Did YOU have biscuit can rules in your house?
As a side note, my dad briefly worked for Pillsbury in the 70s before my parents were married and was friends with "the guys in R&D," so I suppose it's possible he carries some leavening-based scars both physical and metaphorical from tube designs that never made it to primetime. This has only just now occurred to me while writing this question...
I've tried googling this a few times over the years and most results are about the cans exploding in hot cars or maybe your crescent rolls have botulism. I don't see anything about canned biscuits exploding based on tube directionality, which makes me think this isn't a thing. But there were so many times as a child where I'd be helping unload groceries and stick a thing of flaky grands on its end on the counter for just a few seconds, only to have my mom dive across the kitchen saying "you can't do that!!" so I figure there must be SOME kind of history there?
Anyway, if you can shed any light on this now-crumbling belief that I've held for over three decades that would be great. Did YOU have biscuit can rules in your house?
As a side note, my dad briefly worked for Pillsbury in the 70s before my parents were married and was friends with "the guys in R&D," so I suppose it's possible he carries some leavening-based scars both physical and metaphorical from tube designs that never made it to primetime. This has only just now occurred to me while writing this question...
I've never heard that either. But even today, you can pull the little tab and then bang the tab on a counter and they will 'pop' open, meaning the seam that holds them closed will split with a 'pop' sound, but nothing like an 'explosion'.
example
here's open popping out enough to entertain a child.
posted by The_Vegetables at 10:27 AM on February 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
example
here's open popping out enough to entertain a child.
posted by The_Vegetables at 10:27 AM on February 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
You mean the type of cans containing biscuit dough, the can basically being a cardboard cylinder with metal ends, and you 'open' it by tapping a seam in the cardboard on to the edge of the counter or something like that?
I'd expect that setting it down too hard, vertically, might be triggering the "seam breaks, contents distribute themselves unplanned" scenario, although actually expanding more forcefully would probably have to have the contents started fermenting. The same could happen with the can falling over and hitting the edge of the counter just the right way. But it would, in my view, be just as likely that you lay the can down horizontally and something else falls/is set/rolls on top of it.
Clearly it happened only very rarely else Tupperware and Rubbermaid would have offered explosion-proof biscuit dough containers.
posted by Stoneshop at 10:28 AM on February 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
I'd expect that setting it down too hard, vertically, might be triggering the "seam breaks, contents distribute themselves unplanned" scenario, although actually expanding more forcefully would probably have to have the contents started fermenting. The same could happen with the can falling over and hitting the edge of the counter just the right way. But it would, in my view, be just as likely that you lay the can down horizontally and something else falls/is set/rolls on top of it.
Clearly it happened only very rarely else Tupperware and Rubbermaid would have offered explosion-proof biscuit dough containers.
posted by Stoneshop at 10:28 AM on February 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
Response by poster: You mean the type of cans containing biscuit dough, the can basically being a cardboard cylinder with metal ends, and you 'open' it by tapping a seam in the cardboard on to the edge of the counter or something like that?
Yes those.
But even today
I mean I am literally eating tube biscuits right now, I know the mechanism lol
To my parents, the implied biscuit threat is that simply orienting the can so that they stand vertically, on the metal end, would initiate some arcane sequence of unseen internal pressurization events that would cause an otherwise completely ordinary, unperturbed tube to suddenly burst violently, showering all and sundry with doughy shrapnel.
posted by phunniemee at 10:39 AM on February 4, 2022 [18 favorites]
Yes those.
But even today
I mean I am literally eating tube biscuits right now, I know the mechanism lol
To my parents, the implied biscuit threat is that simply orienting the can so that they stand vertically, on the metal end, would initiate some arcane sequence of unseen internal pressurization events that would cause an otherwise completely ordinary, unperturbed tube to suddenly burst violently, showering all and sundry with doughy shrapnel.
posted by phunniemee at 10:39 AM on February 4, 2022 [18 favorites]
I ate canned biscuits, cinnamon rolls, etc., growing up. My mom had/has a lot of "standard operating procedures" for various grocery items, but I was never warned to not put the cylinder vertical.
posted by quadrilaterals at 11:15 AM on February 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by quadrilaterals at 11:15 AM on February 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
Anecdote we always, ALWAYS stored those cans upright so they wouldn't roll around and never had an explosion. But we did have a "can in a hot car" explosion which was pretty fun for me as a kid and a nightmare for my parents to clean up.
posted by muddgirl at 11:17 AM on February 4, 2022 [7 favorites]
posted by muddgirl at 11:17 AM on February 4, 2022 [7 favorites]
Take a 1L bottle of soda that's been laying on its side. Now, set it up, and open it. Compare to a bottle that's been standing up and then opened. Now imagine the lid is just a piece of cling wrap pressed on to make a seal.
I'm with Stoneshop, I think your dad was basically right, at least in theory: if you buy a tube at the store, let it warm for 30 min or so getting home, it could burst when set down upright on the counter, while if put in the fridge on its side, it would not.
There's some physics here, involving the fact that the top and bottom corners of the pressurized tube are both a weak point and where the most force builds up (this is why pressurized tanks have spherical caps, not flat circular caps).
In practice the risk of unintended popping is small under normal care, I think it happened once to me ever. If you cruise around YouTube/Imgur/tumblr you'll see a funny clip now and then of one popping when someone sets it down on a counter or is otherwise treating it carelessly, so we do know it happens.
posted by SaltySalticid at 11:31 AM on February 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
I'm with Stoneshop, I think your dad was basically right, at least in theory: if you buy a tube at the store, let it warm for 30 min or so getting home, it could burst when set down upright on the counter, while if put in the fridge on its side, it would not.
There's some physics here, involving the fact that the top and bottom corners of the pressurized tube are both a weak point and where the most force builds up (this is why pressurized tanks have spherical caps, not flat circular caps).
In practice the risk of unintended popping is small under normal care, I think it happened once to me ever. If you cruise around YouTube/Imgur/tumblr you'll see a funny clip now and then of one popping when someone sets it down on a counter or is otherwise treating it carelessly, so we do know it happens.
posted by SaltySalticid at 11:31 AM on February 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
I suspect that your parents had a freak tubesplosion that led them to believe this was a risk inherent to all tube biscuits. In their defense, I’m pretty sure those tubes used to pack a lot more punch than they do today. I was terrified of them.
posted by HotToddy at 11:38 AM on February 4, 2022 [12 favorites]
posted by HotToddy at 11:38 AM on February 4, 2022 [12 favorites]
It seems like there'd be a warning on the cans if this was really a problem, one because the Doughboy wants you to have a good ecperience with the product and 2 for possible liability reasons. I mean, a can of dough popping unexpectedly isn't likely to directly cause physical injury, but it could cause you to have a heart attack if you're home alone and you forgot you put the can down somewhere and then you hear a loud POW! and as you're clutching your chest you realize what it was and think dang, I guess we won't have pizza ring for dinner tonight ask me how I know
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 11:39 AM on February 4, 2022 [7 favorites]
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 11:39 AM on February 4, 2022 [7 favorites]
I have never had a tube of biscuits explode on me, although I’ve only stored them lying down - not sure why. Side note: this thread has made me smile! 😁
posted by twin_A at 11:48 AM on February 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by twin_A at 11:48 AM on February 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
Is your dad still around to ask? I agree that it sounds like your parents over-extrapolated from a traumatic biscuit incident, but I'm so curious to hear whether your dad had a run-in with a volatile dough tube prototype. Imagining a sort of Willy Wonka scenario.
posted by babelfish at 12:11 PM on February 4, 2022
posted by babelfish at 12:11 PM on February 4, 2022
My mother - who inherited a whole load of Cautionary Tales from her mother, plus a lifetime of unacknowledged PTSD from being a toddler during the Blitz in London - had a number of these domestic mortal hazard situations. While we didn't have canned biscuits (my mother having been brought up with the ability to make tea, fresh scones and light conversation within the first 10 minutes of any visitor arriving), the worst thing was going to the toilet within 6-8 hours of her having put half a cup of bleach down it. I suspect that she may have felt that, unless she screamed "DON'T GET BURNED" when anyone ventured near the toilet, she'd end up as the Wicked Mother character in the cautionary tale of The Little Boy Who Melted Because He Went 'Big Whispers'* Too Soon After Bleaching.
So maybe explosive biscuits was a thing that became a thing in your family like toilet bleach was a thing in mine.
(*: our family's seemingly unique ultra-twee nursery euphemism for pooping. I wish I were making this up)
posted by scruss at 12:11 PM on February 4, 2022 [24 favorites]
So maybe explosive biscuits was a thing that became a thing in your family like toilet bleach was a thing in mine.
(*: our family's seemingly unique ultra-twee nursery euphemism for pooping. I wish I were making this up)
posted by scruss at 12:11 PM on February 4, 2022 [24 favorites]
Best answer: I am a safety professional with anxiety and a huge personal interest in food and food safety. Basically if this was a thing I should know about it, and, I've never heard of this being a thing.
However! I did some research into the US CPSC (Consumer Product Safety Commission) - if anyone was hurt by an exploding biscuit can, they should know about it. Unfortunately, their data only goes back 20 years.
I looked at all incidents reported in 2001 - there were 23 reports mentioning biscuits. 3 were not this kind of biscuit (woodworking, falling off of a SeaBiscuit in a lake (??), and getting hit in the eye with a piece of dog biscuit), and there's a definite trend** with the biscuit injuries (listed below), but nothing with exploding cans.
**knife+frozen biscuits is bad news.
PATIENT CUT FINGER PRYING OPEN A CAN OF FROZEN BISCUITS
42 Y.O. W FEMALE W/PW TO HAND. PT WAS USING A KNIFE TO SEPARATE SOME FROZEN BISCUITS & CUT SELF
INJURY TO BACK LAST SUNDAY WHILE BENDING OVER TYO P/U BISCUIT OFFFLOOR
DX RIGHT FOOT CONTUSION: DROPPED CAN OF BISCUITS ONTO FOOT AT HOME.
61 YOF CUT ON CAN OF BISCUITS LAC HAND
PATIENT WAS TRYING TO OPEN A CAN OF FROZEN BISCUITS WITH A KNIFEAND CUT HERSELF. DX-LACERATION LEFT RING FINGER.
30 Y.O. B FEMALE W/FINGER LAC. PT WAS TRYING TO SEPARATE SOME FROZEN BISCUITS W/KNIFE & INJ SELF @ HOME.
STABBED SELF WITH BUTTER KNIFE WHILE OPENING BISCUITS, THUMB NUMB.LACERATION TO PALM OF HAND.
PT CUTTING FROZEN BISCUITS AT HOME WITH A KNIFE LACERATION LEFT INDEX FINGER
RT FOREARM BURN-@ HOME-MAKING BISCUITS-HIT ARM ON HOT OVEN DOOR
USING BUTTER KNIFE TO SEPARATE FROZEN BISCUITS, CUT R MIDDLE FINGER. DX. LAC. FINGER.
SUSTAINED A LACERATION TO LEFT HAND AFTER CUTTING IT WITH A KNIFEWHILE TRYING TO PRY APART FROZEN BISCUITS
PT SEPARATING BISCUITS WITH A KNIFE AT HOME SUSTAINED A PUNCTURE WOUND TO LEFT HAND
CUT L THUMB W/KNIFE SLICING BISCUITS. DX. THUMB LAC.
TRYING TO CUT OPEN FROZEN BISCUIT, KNIFE SLIPPED ADN CUT L HAND.DX. 4 CM LAC L HAND.
PATIENT WAS CUTTING BISCUITS APART WITH A KNIFE. DX-LEFT HANDPUNCTURE WOUND.
63 Y.O. W FEMALE W/FINGER LAC. PT CUT SELF W/KNIFE @ HOME WHILE SEPARATING BISCUITS @ HOME.
PATIENT WAS TRYING TO SEPARATE FROZEN BISCUITS WITH A KNIFE ANDCUT HIS HAND. DX-RIGHT HAND LACERATION.
PATIENT WAS TRYING TO PRY FROZEN BISCUITS APART WITH A KNIFE.DX-LACERATION LEFT THUMB.
PATIENT WAS TRYING TO SEPARATE FROZEN BISCUITS WITH A KNIFE ANDCUT HER LEFT THUMB. DX-LACERATION LEFT THUMB.
posted by Sparky Buttons at 1:01 PM on February 4, 2022 [52 favorites]
However! I did some research into the US CPSC (Consumer Product Safety Commission) - if anyone was hurt by an exploding biscuit can, they should know about it. Unfortunately, their data only goes back 20 years.
I looked at all incidents reported in 2001 - there were 23 reports mentioning biscuits. 3 were not this kind of biscuit (woodworking, falling off of a SeaBiscuit in a lake (??), and getting hit in the eye with a piece of dog biscuit), and there's a definite trend** with the biscuit injuries (listed below), but nothing with exploding cans.
**knife+frozen biscuits is bad news.
PATIENT CUT FINGER PRYING OPEN A CAN OF FROZEN BISCUITS
42 Y.O. W FEMALE W/PW TO HAND. PT WAS USING A KNIFE TO SEPARATE SOME FROZEN BISCUITS & CUT SELF
INJURY TO BACK LAST SUNDAY WHILE BENDING OVER TYO P/U BISCUIT OFFFLOOR
DX RIGHT FOOT CONTUSION: DROPPED CAN OF BISCUITS ONTO FOOT AT HOME.
61 YOF CUT ON CAN OF BISCUITS LAC HAND
PATIENT WAS TRYING TO OPEN A CAN OF FROZEN BISCUITS WITH A KNIFEAND CUT HERSELF. DX-LACERATION LEFT RING FINGER.
30 Y.O. B FEMALE W/FINGER LAC. PT WAS TRYING TO SEPARATE SOME FROZEN BISCUITS W/KNIFE & INJ SELF @ HOME.
STABBED SELF WITH BUTTER KNIFE WHILE OPENING BISCUITS, THUMB NUMB.LACERATION TO PALM OF HAND.
PT CUTTING FROZEN BISCUITS AT HOME WITH A KNIFE LACERATION LEFT INDEX FINGER
RT FOREARM BURN-@ HOME-MAKING BISCUITS-HIT ARM ON HOT OVEN DOOR
USING BUTTER KNIFE TO SEPARATE FROZEN BISCUITS, CUT R MIDDLE FINGER. DX. LAC. FINGER.
SUSTAINED A LACERATION TO LEFT HAND AFTER CUTTING IT WITH A KNIFEWHILE TRYING TO PRY APART FROZEN BISCUITS
PT SEPARATING BISCUITS WITH A KNIFE AT HOME SUSTAINED A PUNCTURE WOUND TO LEFT HAND
CUT L THUMB W/KNIFE SLICING BISCUITS. DX. THUMB LAC.
TRYING TO CUT OPEN FROZEN BISCUIT, KNIFE SLIPPED ADN CUT L HAND.DX. 4 CM LAC L HAND.
PATIENT WAS CUTTING BISCUITS APART WITH A KNIFE. DX-LEFT HANDPUNCTURE WOUND.
63 Y.O. W FEMALE W/FINGER LAC. PT CUT SELF W/KNIFE @ HOME WHILE SEPARATING BISCUITS @ HOME.
PATIENT WAS TRYING TO SEPARATE FROZEN BISCUITS WITH A KNIFE ANDCUT HIS HAND. DX-RIGHT HAND LACERATION.
PATIENT WAS TRYING TO PRY FROZEN BISCUITS APART WITH A KNIFE.DX-LACERATION LEFT THUMB.
PATIENT WAS TRYING TO SEPARATE FROZEN BISCUITS WITH A KNIFE ANDCUT HER LEFT THUMB. DX-LACERATION LEFT THUMB.
posted by Sparky Buttons at 1:01 PM on February 4, 2022 [52 favorites]
Holy Moly Sparky Buttons, frozen biscuits are EVIL!
I seem to remember a can popping open when it fell off the counter and hit the seam just so. But it was more of a "biscuit dough oozes out, you have to cook biscuits now" rather than some kind of dire 'doughy shrapnel' situation. Somewhere in the annals of Pillsbury lore, there's biscuit dough everywhere.
posted by winesong at 2:10 PM on February 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
I seem to remember a can popping open when it fell off the counter and hit the seam just so. But it was more of a "biscuit dough oozes out, you have to cook biscuits now" rather than some kind of dire 'doughy shrapnel' situation. Somewhere in the annals of Pillsbury lore, there's biscuit dough everywhere.
posted by winesong at 2:10 PM on February 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
Response by poster: Is your dad still around to ask?... I'm so curious to hear
I'll try to work it naturally into the convo next time I talk to my parents, which is admittedly infrequent. Owing, perhaps, to the unaddressed trauma of growing up with two people who thought it was perfectly reasonable to feed their children what in their minds were essentially pasty-filled claymores. I expect I'll get a thirty minute meandering story involving The Saucepan* and extremely limited intel on biscuit tubing, but regardless I'll check back in and update.
*The Saucepan, by the way, was the one single piece of kitchenware my dad owned before he and my mom got married. It was what the Pillsbury R&D guys had been using to mix up various batches of [experimental grain-based slurry] when one turned to cement and they threw the whole pot in the garbage. My dad snapped it out of the trash, took it over to the iron foundry where he either also worked or had previously worked or had a friend who worked, narratives vary, and used their sand blaster to clean out the breakfast mix-cum-building substrate. My parents bought a house together when they were engaged (mom was still living with her parents) and she likes to recount the horror of when she arrived one day to find my dad perched on the toilet seat (he didn't have a chair) at the bathroom counter (nor table) eating his dinner out of that saucepan (nor plates). They still have that saucepan to this day.
posted by phunniemee at 2:52 PM on February 4, 2022 [59 favorites]
I'll try to work it naturally into the convo next time I talk to my parents, which is admittedly infrequent. Owing, perhaps, to the unaddressed trauma of growing up with two people who thought it was perfectly reasonable to feed their children what in their minds were essentially pasty-filled claymores. I expect I'll get a thirty minute meandering story involving The Saucepan* and extremely limited intel on biscuit tubing, but regardless I'll check back in and update.
*The Saucepan, by the way, was the one single piece of kitchenware my dad owned before he and my mom got married. It was what the Pillsbury R&D guys had been using to mix up various batches of [experimental grain-based slurry] when one turned to cement and they threw the whole pot in the garbage. My dad snapped it out of the trash, took it over to the iron foundry where he either also worked or had previously worked or had a friend who worked, narratives vary, and used their sand blaster to clean out the breakfast mix-cum-building substrate. My parents bought a house together when they were engaged (mom was still living with her parents) and she likes to recount the horror of when she arrived one day to find my dad perched on the toilet seat (he didn't have a chair) at the bathroom counter (nor table) eating his dinner out of that saucepan (nor plates). They still have that saucepan to this day.
posted by phunniemee at 2:52 PM on February 4, 2022 [59 favorites]
Looks like the question is answered. But, it's worth noting that during shipping packages often experience several time the acceleration due to gravity in all directions. (e.g., this paper.) If setting a package sideways made it explode, they probably wouldn't make it to the store.
(It took me a while to figure out what wild kind of cookies could possibly explode. But, I now understand the question.)
posted by eotvos at 3:14 PM on February 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
(It took me a while to figure out what wild kind of cookies could possibly explode. But, I now understand the question.)
posted by eotvos at 3:14 PM on February 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
(omfg the saucepan)
posted by ivanthenotsoterrible at 4:32 PM on February 4, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by ivanthenotsoterrible at 4:32 PM on February 4, 2022 [5 favorites]
Stories like The Saucepan are basically the reason I read AskMe.
posted by lhauser at 6:28 PM on February 4, 2022 [22 favorites]
posted by lhauser at 6:28 PM on February 4, 2022 [22 favorites]
We need a photo of the Saucepan. Saucepan tax.
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:49 PM on February 4, 2022 [11 favorites]
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:49 PM on February 4, 2022 [11 favorites]
Re the saucepan, did we just witness a villain origin?!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:42 AM on February 5, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:42 AM on February 5, 2022 [2 favorites]
Late to the party, but this reminded me of the MythBusters segment about biscuit cans exploding in a hot car.
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 6:23 AM on February 5, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 6:23 AM on February 5, 2022 [4 favorites]
The Saucepan. Big Whispers. This is an instant classic. Thank you.
posted by stefnet at 5:51 PM on February 5, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by stefnet at 5:51 PM on February 5, 2022 [6 favorites]
Late to the party, but I have had a tin of biscuits explode as a teen. I bought it as a novelty (biscuits in cans not being a thing here in Australia) and it survived the pressure changes of the plane and then burst on my coffee table around two months later. It was certainly a pop and a bleb of mixture out, but would not have been damaging.
posted by quercus23 at 12:35 AM on February 6, 2022
posted by quercus23 at 12:35 AM on February 6, 2022
I've had two Pillsbury cans exploding on me. One was due to falling down the stairs levels of tube trauma, no major mess, no big explosion.
Second tube had been left upright in the fridge door, for, three-five months past the sell by date? Explosion was loud enough for me to hear in a one bedroom apartment on a very quiet day, and rattled the door open slightly. Wasn't a very secure fridge door to begin with. No goo was found outside direct contact with the tube. First incident was ~ten years ago, second six months ago.
posted by Jacen at 1:04 AM on February 6, 2022
Second tube had been left upright in the fridge door, for, three-five months past the sell by date? Explosion was loud enough for me to hear in a one bedroom apartment on a very quiet day, and rattled the door open slightly. Wasn't a very secure fridge door to begin with. No goo was found outside direct contact with the tube. First incident was ~ten years ago, second six months ago.
posted by Jacen at 1:04 AM on February 6, 2022
Best answer: In the 70s, these things were pressurized way way higher than they are today, single-wrapped, and were incredibly easy to open. I can't yet imagine any means by which the modest stresses of modern low pressure, double wrapped biscuit dough containers would cause anything close to an alarming level of popping.
But let me tell you, back in the day, those things were loud and terrifying and barely contained. It's possible your parents' concerns were formed under circumstances that included the higher pressure, shittier quality containers.
posted by majick at 7:55 AM on February 6, 2022 [3 favorites]
But let me tell you, back in the day, those things were loud and terrifying and barely contained. It's possible your parents' concerns were formed under circumstances that included the higher pressure, shittier quality containers.
posted by majick at 7:55 AM on February 6, 2022 [3 favorites]
was it a tube of biscuits manufactured like these Pringles cans?
posted by lalochezia at 1:47 PM on February 6, 2022
posted by lalochezia at 1:47 PM on February 6, 2022
burst on my coffee table around two months later
By the way, if you encounter another one of these things, do keep in mind that they're intended to be refrigerated until used. If a can of biscuits is hanging out anywhere near your coffee table for more than a few minutes while you show your friends its peculiar North Americanness, it's in the wrong place and I could see how it might fail.
posted by majick at 2:23 PM on February 7, 2022
By the way, if you encounter another one of these things, do keep in mind that they're intended to be refrigerated until used. If a can of biscuits is hanging out anywhere near your coffee table for more than a few minutes while you show your friends its peculiar North Americanness, it's in the wrong place and I could see how it might fail.
posted by majick at 2:23 PM on February 7, 2022
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