How to get well-meaning friend to stop spamming me with baby pictures?
January 22, 2022 4:30 PM Subscribe
A good friend of mine has recently become an aunt. I love (a moderate amount of) baby pictures as much as the next person but I am running out of ways to tell her he is the cutest patootie to ever patoot, and etc. A bit more inside.
Basically what it says on the tin. I am a little bit worried about how much she is invested in this child that is not her own. She is single by choice but she adores children, she would make a fantastic mother and I wonder how much of this is about her own grief at not having any of her own. This is a very important relationship to me and I am not going to say anything unless I think (or the Hive thinks) of a supremely tactful way to tell her to simmer down.
Basically what it says on the tin. I am a little bit worried about how much she is invested in this child that is not her own. She is single by choice but she adores children, she would make a fantastic mother and I wonder how much of this is about her own grief at not having any of her own. This is a very important relationship to me and I am not going to say anything unless I think (or the Hive thinks) of a supremely tactful way to tell her to simmer down.
I think you're confusing two things:
1) your judgement over how your friend is responding to her new niece/nephew
2) your desire to not have to respond to [x] number of baby pics per day.
For the first- your friend is allowed to be as much of a doting Aunt as she wants, you can't love a baby too much, I wouldn't overthink this - I certainly would not suggest to her that she's being overly excited about becoming an Aunt! Maybe it has to do with her own grief, or maybe she's just really happy about becoming an Aunt. Either way, not really your business.
As for the second, I'd probably not say anything but get in the habit of mostly responding with an emoji or "cute!" Again, I think you're overthinking this - I doubt she really cares how you respond or is looking for detailed commentary from you. And this will likely take care of itself over time, as the novelty of OMG new cute baby wears off.
posted by coffeecat at 4:40 PM on January 22, 2022 [25 favorites]
1) your judgement over how your friend is responding to her new niece/nephew
2) your desire to not have to respond to [x] number of baby pics per day.
For the first- your friend is allowed to be as much of a doting Aunt as she wants, you can't love a baby too much, I wouldn't overthink this - I certainly would not suggest to her that she's being overly excited about becoming an Aunt! Maybe it has to do with her own grief, or maybe she's just really happy about becoming an Aunt. Either way, not really your business.
As for the second, I'd probably not say anything but get in the habit of mostly responding with an emoji or "cute!" Again, I think you're overthinking this - I doubt she really cares how you respond or is looking for detailed commentary from you. And this will likely take care of itself over time, as the novelty of OMG new cute baby wears off.
posted by coffeecat at 4:40 PM on January 22, 2022 [25 favorites]
I would just slowly stop responding to the photos so often. Let her send 2 before your next response, then 3, then 4 and so on. She'll get the picture.
posted by Jess the Mess at 4:45 PM on January 22, 2022 [32 favorites]
posted by Jess the Mess at 4:45 PM on January 22, 2022 [32 favorites]
"I am a little bit worried about how much she is invested in this child that is not her own"
Throughout history a caring aunt was often absolutely vital to childrearing.
I can not stress how valuable such a person would have been in my life.
Having family members invested in your children is something I wish I had for my child. I've seen amazing aunt/Uncle relationships and think both I and my child could have done nothing but benefitted.
I think you are a bit off on your judgements and might want to rethink where you are coming from.
posted by ReluctantViking at 4:45 PM on January 22, 2022 [66 favorites]
Throughout history a caring aunt was often absolutely vital to childrearing.
I can not stress how valuable such a person would have been in my life.
Having family members invested in your children is something I wish I had for my child. I've seen amazing aunt/Uncle relationships and think both I and my child could have done nothing but benefitted.
I think you are a bit off on your judgements and might want to rethink where you are coming from.
posted by ReluctantViking at 4:45 PM on January 22, 2022 [66 favorites]
You don't respond to every picture. If you do it becomes a call and respond thing.
posted by Max Power at 4:46 PM on January 22, 2022 [12 favorites]
posted by Max Power at 4:46 PM on January 22, 2022 [12 favorites]
I've been in this scenario with multiple friends over the years, and yeah, this will probably wind down as the novelty wears off. After the first couple of weeks, I usually deal with it by clicking on a random photo from every other bunch, then every third bunch, and saying something like "so cute, love the little red hat" and getting on with my life. It's probably not worth saying anything about it unless she presses you for comments on specifics, in which case you can say "oh sorry, busy day, haven't had time to take a close look yet." Emojis are also a useful tool when you don't want to get into it.
On the question of how your friend is dealing with becoming an aunt. you know her well and you could be correct that this is bringing up some difficult feelings for her. However, rather than saying anything specific, I'd suggest just keeping the lines of conversation open, in case she wants to talk about that. If you are off the mark, or if she is just not ready to face things, a direct comment could be very hurtful.
It's also very possible that she is just super-excited about being an aunt. When my sibling had children, I remember being very struck by the fact that my place in the "generational hierarchy" had changed forever. It felt pretty profound. And, as others have pointed out, a loving and engaged aunt can be a true blessing to a child, and the joy can definitely go both ways.
posted by rpfields at 4:55 PM on January 22, 2022 [20 favorites]
On the question of how your friend is dealing with becoming an aunt. you know her well and you could be correct that this is bringing up some difficult feelings for her. However, rather than saying anything specific, I'd suggest just keeping the lines of conversation open, in case she wants to talk about that. If you are off the mark, or if she is just not ready to face things, a direct comment could be very hurtful.
It's also very possible that she is just super-excited about being an aunt. When my sibling had children, I remember being very struck by the fact that my place in the "generational hierarchy" had changed forever. It felt pretty profound. And, as others have pointed out, a loving and engaged aunt can be a true blessing to a child, and the joy can definitely go both ways.
posted by rpfields at 4:55 PM on January 22, 2022 [20 favorites]
If the relationship is very important to you, an option you might consider is trying to go all in in this baby fandom with her, simply because it's important to her and she's important to you. I don't mean this in judgment or anything, just giving you something to consider. Recently a friend was taking a class & she needed a lot of help from me because I knew the subject & she knows im good at helping people with their homework from our school days. It took some energy on my part & id always rather be doing nothing, but what I wanted more was an opportunity to be her friend, because friends are valuable and rare, so you have to take care of them, so I did it.
What I think that could look like for you is receiving the photos with the intent they were sent with which is "Look at this great thing I just saw!" You don't have to go over board and you don't have to reply to every single one. And maybe you put her on mute if you want. But try to steer yourself towards "Yay, my friend is happy!" instead of "Leave me alone!" She will probably not do this forever.
posted by bleep at 5:21 PM on January 22, 2022 [8 favorites]
What I think that could look like for you is receiving the photos with the intent they were sent with which is "Look at this great thing I just saw!" You don't have to go over board and you don't have to reply to every single one. And maybe you put her on mute if you want. But try to steer yourself towards "Yay, my friend is happy!" instead of "Leave me alone!" She will probably not do this forever.
posted by bleep at 5:21 PM on January 22, 2022 [8 favorites]
As the doting grandmother of a two year old person, I have been told a couple times that people really don’t want to see baby pictures, usually by people who are not planning to (or can’t) have their own. I do my best these days to make sure people are okay with me sharing them, but often I forget because he is the most wonderful and fascinating thing in the WORLD.I don’t take offense when people say they don’t want to see the photos and you might politely say that.
I can also attest: It is quite possible to love a child that is not one’s own. I went into teaching because having a child (and not wanting another) made me realize I enjoyed and loved children, especially if I could hand them back at the end of the day.
posted by Peach at 5:23 PM on January 22, 2022 [2 favorites]
I can also attest: It is quite possible to love a child that is not one’s own. I went into teaching because having a child (and not wanting another) made me realize I enjoyed and loved children, especially if I could hand them back at the end of the day.
posted by Peach at 5:23 PM on January 22, 2022 [2 favorites]
It’s judgmental and condescending that you are pathologizing her excitement about her new niece this way. I’m also single and child free and I love how that status allows me to shower my niece with love and affection. I am constantly amazed at how cute and smart and fun she is, and how much I love her. I would be so hurt if someone I cared about implied that there was something worrisome about my Iove for her.
Just start ignoring the pics, or tone your response down, or just give them a heart react or something. She’ll get the hint. If she asks you about it, just be honest and say you think she’s cute but you only have so many ways to say that. She’ll simmer down on her own.
posted by lunasol at 5:31 PM on January 22, 2022 [38 favorites]
Just start ignoring the pics, or tone your response down, or just give them a heart react or something. She’ll get the hint. If she asks you about it, just be honest and say you think she’s cute but you only have so many ways to say that. She’ll simmer down on her own.
posted by lunasol at 5:31 PM on January 22, 2022 [38 favorites]
Just send a heart emoji every time and focus on the elements of your relationship that you treasure. Do not, do not broach this.
posted by athirstforsalt at 5:58 PM on January 22, 2022 [12 favorites]
posted by athirstforsalt at 5:58 PM on January 22, 2022 [12 favorites]
As an uncle with adorable nieces and nephews but no plans to have a family of my own: you are projecting. Stop it. Just start responding less and let it fade naturally. There is nothing you can say to her that won't be absolutely offensive because your judgement is almost certainly wholly misinformed.
posted by Aleyn at 6:00 PM on January 22, 2022 [17 favorites]
posted by Aleyn at 6:00 PM on January 22, 2022 [17 favorites]
I do think this has something to do with your friend being single but not the way you think. I bet many of your other friends are similarly over the moon about their nieces and nephews…but they have a spouse to share those photos with.
One of the hard things about being single is you don’t have anyone to share the everyday stuff with; cute pictures from your family, a weird dream you had, that funny interaction at the grocery store. It’s even harder when there’s something meaningful to you that you’re excited about! Cut your friend a break.
posted by stellaluna at 6:30 PM on January 22, 2022 [31 favorites]
One of the hard things about being single is you don’t have anyone to share the everyday stuff with; cute pictures from your family, a weird dream you had, that funny interaction at the grocery store. It’s even harder when there’s something meaningful to you that you’re excited about! Cut your friend a break.
posted by stellaluna at 6:30 PM on January 22, 2022 [31 favorites]
Her sibling just had a kid and it’s pretty amazing when someone you’ve known incredibly closely since they were a kid has a kid of their own. She’s well within reason to be amazed by every photo. Just send a thumbs up emoji and change the subject by asking how she has been. It’s entirely possible to be impressed by a tiny human and have it not be some sort of deep feeling of personal childlessness.
posted by donut_princess at 7:12 PM on January 22, 2022 [7 favorites]
posted by donut_princess at 7:12 PM on January 22, 2022 [7 favorites]
I would not touch "is this bringing up grief stuff for you, friend?" with a ten foot pole unless she does so unprompted. Just dial back the frequency of responses on the baby pictures. If there's something else she used to talk to you about that you miss, you could try a gentle redirect, say, "He really is the cutest! I'm missing your reports on (your cat, your hobby, your job) though, how's that going?" But ultimately this baby may just be the center of your friend's emotional world right now.
posted by Stacey at 7:19 PM on January 22, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by Stacey at 7:19 PM on January 22, 2022 [4 favorites]
I wonder how much of this is about her own grief at not having any of her own.
1000% not your business unless she brings it up
Stop judging this woman and don't yuck her yum. Reply with a smile emoji and move on. If she is important to you, just let her enjoy this.
posted by ananci at 8:06 PM on January 22, 2022 [9 favorites]
1000% not your business unless she brings it up
Stop judging this woman and don't yuck her yum. Reply with a smile emoji and move on. If she is important to you, just let her enjoy this.
posted by ananci at 8:06 PM on January 22, 2022 [9 favorites]
Yeah, I don’t even particularly like children, and certainly never wanted any of my own, but when my (awesome, amazing, adorable) nephew was born I fell head over heels. He’s 13 now, I still send pictures to friends , and I’d happily talk anyone’s ear off about him (witness this comment). It’s a pretty fantastic thing to be an aunt. Let her enjoy, and ignore 75% of the pictures.
posted by tinymojo at 9:16 PM on January 22, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by tinymojo at 9:16 PM on January 22, 2022 [1 favorite]
I just had my first niffling recently & I have shared baby pics with all the good friends I knew wouldn’t begrudge me for sharing pictures of babies they don’t know. Consider it a compliment that you are a friend they think won’t roll their eyes at stranger baby pics.
posted by Grandysaur at 9:25 PM on January 22, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by Grandysaur at 9:25 PM on January 22, 2022 [3 favorites]
Gently, you have asked questions regarding depression and anger. Everyone is having a hard time and I hope you find some solace. It may be that this is much more about you and how you feel right now than her and what she is doing. And don’t try to project some bizarre deep emotion.
It’s a normal thing for people around kids/pets/whatever. Just respond with an emoji, try to be happy she is happy, and talk about something else.
posted by Crystalinne at 12:00 AM on January 23, 2022 [7 favorites]
It’s a normal thing for people around kids/pets/whatever. Just respond with an emoji, try to be happy she is happy, and talk about something else.
posted by Crystalinne at 12:00 AM on January 23, 2022 [7 favorites]
As an absolutely doting, head over my heels aunt, I can't tell you how hurtful and inaccurate it would be of someone to pathologise my love for my niblings and imply there was something wrong with me for being so invested in them. I strongly believe that my love for them is something that will be a positive element of their lives not just now but in the future. There are so few good and pure things in the world. Being excited about a new family member is one of them.
I totally get where you are coming from with the being overwhelmed by baby pictures - I've been at the receiving end of that time and again, and I am sure I have also done my share. Just respond with a heart emoji... That is all you need to do.
posted by unicorn chaser at 3:34 AM on January 23, 2022 [8 favorites]
I totally get where you are coming from with the being overwhelmed by baby pictures - I've been at the receiving end of that time and again, and I am sure I have also done my share. Just respond with a heart emoji... That is all you need to do.
posted by unicorn chaser at 3:34 AM on January 23, 2022 [8 favorites]
Response by poster: I'm a new aunt who is crazy about my baby nephew (he's my first nibling!!!) and am also single by choice and living that intentionally childfree life, right down to getting sterilized. I do love kids, but I consider being an aunt the ideal child-involvement scenario because I can hand him back to his parents when he needs his diaper changed (j/k, but not really j/k). I am not "grieving", there is just something really special about seeing this little guy morph into a person and being able to be a part of that.
My brother and sister-in-law set up a shared Google Photos album to put baby pictures in lieu of texting them to everyone. It's restricted to certain people so they're not all out there. I get notifications when it updates and I can peruse them at my leisure. I love being able to scroll through them easily and leave comments and it's a place for them to include EVERYTHING without being concerned that they're spamming or having to send them to a billion separate people (I am sure you're not the only person she's sending them to).
Can you ask your friend to do the same? "Loving the baby photos! When you get new ones do you think you could put them in a Google Photos album and just share the album with me instead of texting? That way I can see them all at once and it's easier to track them." Your conversations get cleaned up, she gets a place to put all her favorite photos, everybody wins. For her sake, leave the occasional comment so she knows you're looking.
posted by Anonymous at 5:19 AM on January 23, 2022
My brother and sister-in-law set up a shared Google Photos album to put baby pictures in lieu of texting them to everyone. It's restricted to certain people so they're not all out there. I get notifications when it updates and I can peruse them at my leisure. I love being able to scroll through them easily and leave comments and it's a place for them to include EVERYTHING without being concerned that they're spamming or having to send them to a billion separate people (I am sure you're not the only person she's sending them to).
Can you ask your friend to do the same? "Loving the baby photos! When you get new ones do you think you could put them in a Google Photos album and just share the album with me instead of texting? That way I can see them all at once and it's easier to track them." Your conversations get cleaned up, she gets a place to put all her favorite photos, everybody wins. For her sake, leave the occasional comment so she knows you're looking.
posted by Anonymous at 5:19 AM on January 23, 2022
I'm confused. Is there a social obligation to reply to these photos? Surely if you just stop reacting, no one will walk away offended, no?
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 6:21 AM on January 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 6:21 AM on January 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
If by chance you're right and it is a grief thing, I promise you, that you bringing that up will make life much worse for her, not better. Imagine how awful it would be to finally have a child in your life that you can rejoice in, and then be made to feel that doing so was making someone else feel sad for you. That instead of being a wonderful addition to your life, your relationship with your nephew was some kind of visible signal to the world of what you were lacking.
Let her do what she needs to do and revel in a source of joy in life that she's previously been locked out of. Respond less if that helps you get through it.
posted by penguin pie at 6:24 AM on January 23, 2022 [4 favorites]
Let her do what she needs to do and revel in a source of joy in life that she's previously been locked out of. Respond less if that helps you get through it.
posted by penguin pie at 6:24 AM on January 23, 2022 [4 favorites]
(My answer would change if you, yourself, also have some grief about childlessness, in which case I think it's fair to ask her to send fewer pics and tell her why, without making it about her at all).
posted by penguin pie at 6:31 AM on January 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by penguin pie at 6:31 AM on January 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
Let people enjoy things. If your friend isn't hurting anyone, don't stomp her joy.
There's no reason to believe excitement over a new member of the family is anything other than excitement.
Now, if this is hurting you in some way (I had a hard time with New Baby Woohoo when I was going through infertility), it's ok to pull back a bit.
But otherwise...I would love for someone to be this thrilled about my child. Really.
posted by champers at 6:36 AM on January 23, 2022 [3 favorites]
There's no reason to believe excitement over a new member of the family is anything other than excitement.
Now, if this is hurting you in some way (I had a hard time with New Baby Woohoo when I was going through infertility), it's ok to pull back a bit.
But otherwise...I would love for someone to be this thrilled about my child. Really.
posted by champers at 6:36 AM on January 23, 2022 [3 favorites]
I think some of the answers here are needlessly harsh. You ultimately know your friend better than anybody here and can best tell if she is struggling with complicated feelings about her nibling. And you also are allowed to be annoyed by and have big feelings about this constant little obligation she is making you feel all the time.
However, I do ultimately agree with the majority here. Do a slow fade where you respond to fewer pictures, maybe just emojis or a reaction sticker, less and less until it’s one every other day or so. Also, you can absolutely repeat your cutie patoot commentary. She wants acknowledgement that you saw the image, and won’t give a damn about how many times you say “that fuzzy head!!” or “almost a fully cooked nugget!” or “squishable!” etc etc etc. Don’t like, set up a pattern and stick to it, because that does become noticeable, just try to drop the urge to be original every time.
And keep it to yourself about your suspicions of maternal grief or whatever you want to call it. The best way to handle this, and I suspect you know this if you sit and think it through, is to make yourself an open and receptive person so she can take the initiative in reaching out to you. Engage her in topics she enjoyed pre-baby. Ask her about her days and share yours with her. Try not to judge yourself, either, because when we are self judgmental people pick up on that and assume we will judge them too. Be accepting of yourself in front of her so she can feel like you will accept her as she is as well.
posted by Mizu at 6:50 AM on January 23, 2022 [7 favorites]
However, I do ultimately agree with the majority here. Do a slow fade where you respond to fewer pictures, maybe just emojis or a reaction sticker, less and less until it’s one every other day or so. Also, you can absolutely repeat your cutie patoot commentary. She wants acknowledgement that you saw the image, and won’t give a damn about how many times you say “that fuzzy head!!” or “almost a fully cooked nugget!” or “squishable!” etc etc etc. Don’t like, set up a pattern and stick to it, because that does become noticeable, just try to drop the urge to be original every time.
And keep it to yourself about your suspicions of maternal grief or whatever you want to call it. The best way to handle this, and I suspect you know this if you sit and think it through, is to make yourself an open and receptive person so she can take the initiative in reaching out to you. Engage her in topics she enjoyed pre-baby. Ask her about her days and share yours with her. Try not to judge yourself, either, because when we are self judgmental people pick up on that and assume we will judge them too. Be accepting of yourself in front of her so she can feel like you will accept her as she is as well.
posted by Mizu at 6:50 AM on January 23, 2022 [7 favorites]
The question doesn't say how many pictures the friend is sending and doesn't provide much detail about why the OP is worried about grief. People are being quite ungenerous to the OP and jumping to conclusions.
OP, just respond with a heart emoji. It's a quick acknowledgment that doesn't require much from you. If you'd like to decrease the volume, don't respond to every picture.
posted by Mavri at 10:35 AM on January 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
OP, just respond with a heart emoji. It's a quick acknowledgment that doesn't require much from you. If you'd like to decrease the volume, don't respond to every picture.
posted by Mavri at 10:35 AM on January 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
Can you send some pictures back? Not a baby, just something that made you smile, or might make your friend smile? That makes it more of a conversation and less of an attempt to capture the flood.
posted by yarntheory at 10:41 AM on January 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by yarntheory at 10:41 AM on January 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
She is single by choice but she adores children, she would make a fantastic mother and I wonder how much of this is about her own grief at not having any of her own.
Dude. Sometimes an excited new aunt is just an excited new aunt. You're way overthinking the "why is she sending all these photos to me" - she's sending them because the baby is brand new and everyone's excited, and that's it.
Situations like this is why the "thumbs up" or "heart" emoji exist, and you don't have to respond to everything right away. If you're looking for a way to "change the subject" in texts, maybe deliberately ask her about other things ("oh hey, how was that presentation for work you were telling me about last month" or "hey, didn't you say you were taking up clog dancing, how's that been going").
But for the love of little pickles please don't jump to assuming this is any kind of emotional issue or anything, she's just an excited new aunt.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:15 AM on January 23, 2022 [3 favorites]
Dude. Sometimes an excited new aunt is just an excited new aunt. You're way overthinking the "why is she sending all these photos to me" - she's sending them because the baby is brand new and everyone's excited, and that's it.
Situations like this is why the "thumbs up" or "heart" emoji exist, and you don't have to respond to everything right away. If you're looking for a way to "change the subject" in texts, maybe deliberately ask her about other things ("oh hey, how was that presentation for work you were telling me about last month" or "hey, didn't you say you were taking up clog dancing, how's that been going").
But for the love of little pickles please don't jump to assuming this is any kind of emotional issue or anything, she's just an excited new aunt.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:15 AM on January 23, 2022 [3 favorites]
I just want to say that it's okay to be annoyed at being spammed with baby pics. I have kids myself and in your shoes I would feel low key pressured to answer every time, too, and I would resent it a little, too.
On the other side, literally the only people who enjoy receiving ALL the kid pictures we can send and still clamor for more are the grandparents. We are lucky to have them and it stops us from spamming other people!
posted by Omnomnom at 11:35 AM on January 23, 2022 [3 favorites]
On the other side, literally the only people who enjoy receiving ALL the kid pictures we can send and still clamor for more are the grandparents. We are lucky to have them and it stops us from spamming other people!
posted by Omnomnom at 11:35 AM on January 23, 2022 [3 favorites]
I'm not clear on what medium she's using for this? If she's posting somewhere like Facebook, then I feel like there's zero obligation to respond. If she's emailing them to you, then just set up a separate folder if you don't want the pictures in your inbox and just don't respond. Same thing with texts - if the notifications bother you, mute alerts from her.
Basically, her sending you pictures doesn't obligate you to respond, especially if she's sending them frequently. If you wanted to smooth any possible friction, you could make a comment (just one time) like, "I'm a bit overwhelmed so can't respond to all the emails, but baby is super cute!" Or something like that.
If I were in your position, the biggest source of stress would be getting a bunch of extra notifcaitons and feeling like I have to respond. I think if you can ameliorate both of those issues, you can avoid directly confronting your friend about this. Hopefully the volume will go down as the newness fades away.
posted by litera scripta manet at 12:35 PM on January 23, 2022 [3 favorites]
Basically, her sending you pictures doesn't obligate you to respond, especially if she's sending them frequently. If you wanted to smooth any possible friction, you could make a comment (just one time) like, "I'm a bit overwhelmed so can't respond to all the emails, but baby is super cute!" Or something like that.
If I were in your position, the biggest source of stress would be getting a bunch of extra notifcaitons and feeling like I have to respond. I think if you can ameliorate both of those issues, you can avoid directly confronting your friend about this. Hopefully the volume will go down as the newness fades away.
posted by litera scripta manet at 12:35 PM on January 23, 2022 [3 favorites]
My sisters, who all have kids, spend plenty of time doting on each other’s kids and taking them out on special auntie dates, etc. It’s probably more fruitful to spend time figuring out why this annoys you so deeply rather than psychoanalyzing your friend.
I wouldn’t imply that you have something deeper going on (no one wants to tediously reply to 100 pics) if you weren’t already implying the same in her direction. Clearly there’s some weight to what is going on here, enough that you feel the need to deflect onto your friend.
posted by stoneandstar at 1:01 PM on January 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
I wouldn’t imply that you have something deeper going on (no one wants to tediously reply to 100 pics) if you weren’t already implying the same in her direction. Clearly there’s some weight to what is going on here, enough that you feel the need to deflect onto your friend.
posted by stoneandstar at 1:01 PM on January 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
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If it’s been a month and truly unbearable just mute her and ignore? Or be like “so cute but I’m getting a little overwhelmed with Baby Name photos!” That you can only say IMO a month after not a few days or weeks after.
posted by pando11 at 4:39 PM on January 22, 2022 [9 favorites]