Handing out things for Hallowe'en to kids who can't have candy
October 29, 2021 11:37 PM Subscribe
My wife wants to hand out pencils, erasers, playdoh and notepads with a Hallowe'en theme to kids who can't have candy. They've been sitting in our basement for about four years and it feels a bit weird to me to hand them out. She disagrees. Is it weird?
A few years ago, my wife picked up some things to hand out at Hallowe'en for kids who couldn't have candy. These were things like pencils, erasers, playdoh and notepads with a Hallowe'en theme. Hallowe'en didn't happen the last two years where I live because of covid so we didn't have a chance to give them out. However, my wife told me she was going to give them out again this year. She's pointed out that they don't seem old - the playdoh isn't hard, the erasers haven't dried up and the notepads seem ok. That's true. But, it feels like it might be weird giving out these things that have basically been sitting in my basement for the last four years when we can afford to get new things. She's adamant that she wants to give them out because it would be a waste of money (money isn't really tight for us) and that it's something she cares about (again, I suggested we just get new things and donate the old somewhere). I told her that I'd feel embarrassed giving these out, but she didn't seem to care. So, I'm trying to get some perspective. Does it seem like it'd be fine to hand these out at Hallowe'en? Or is it a bit weird?
A few years ago, my wife picked up some things to hand out at Hallowe'en for kids who couldn't have candy. These were things like pencils, erasers, playdoh and notepads with a Hallowe'en theme. Hallowe'en didn't happen the last two years where I live because of covid so we didn't have a chance to give them out. However, my wife told me she was going to give them out again this year. She's pointed out that they don't seem old - the playdoh isn't hard, the erasers haven't dried up and the notepads seem ok. That's true. But, it feels like it might be weird giving out these things that have basically been sitting in my basement for the last four years when we can afford to get new things. She's adamant that she wants to give them out because it would be a waste of money (money isn't really tight for us) and that it's something she cares about (again, I suggested we just get new things and donate the old somewhere). I told her that I'd feel embarrassed giving these out, but she didn't seem to care. So, I'm trying to get some perspective. Does it seem like it'd be fine to hand these out at Hallowe'en? Or is it a bit weird?
As long as they don’t look old (faded, dusty, dried up, printed with 2017 as a logo, etc.) I would certainly never notice in my kids’ bags.
posted by warriorqueen at 11:43 PM on October 29, 2021 [7 favorites]
posted by warriorqueen at 11:43 PM on October 29, 2021 [7 favorites]
if they are old and thus in your eyes damaged, why is it okay to donate them to presumably poorer and more vulnerable children, than to give them out to your own neighbourhood children?
I'm guessing you're actually worried about social judging by the other parents for some reasons - it's that kind of neighbourhood, you're self-conscious about wealth/class markers, etc.
Tip: get cute cellophane bags with self-ties like these and sort out all the things into little collections - you can check the different items and they will look thoughtful and cute, rather than random.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 11:53 PM on October 29, 2021 [22 favorites]
I'm guessing you're actually worried about social judging by the other parents for some reasons - it's that kind of neighbourhood, you're self-conscious about wealth/class markers, etc.
Tip: get cute cellophane bags with self-ties like these and sort out all the things into little collections - you can check the different items and they will look thoughtful and cute, rather than random.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 11:53 PM on October 29, 2021 [22 favorites]
Response by poster: I'd considered that, but, no, I don't think this has to do with fear of social judgement. I doubt anyone would actually notice.
posted by NoneOfTheAbove at 11:58 PM on October 29, 2021
posted by NoneOfTheAbove at 11:58 PM on October 29, 2021
It's not weird, exactly, but maybe it is a fallacy. The objects have zero novelty to you and they were lacking in use for so long that you may have filed them as "destined for the trash" in your head. They're not exciting "treats". Any kids you give them to, however, will see them as new.
posted by foxtongue at 12:05 AM on October 30, 2021 [33 favorites]
posted by foxtongue at 12:05 AM on October 30, 2021 [33 favorites]
My mother gives Play-Doh to the neighborhood kids at Hallowe’en. Don’t recall why she started, but now it happens every year. It’s a big hit with the little ones. If the things are in good condition, I don’t think it’s weird, and will probably be appreciated by kids who have allergy issues too. If you’re still uncomfortable, perhaps you could compromise by buying a small amount of candy to give out alongside?
posted by ceramicspaniel at 12:09 AM on October 30, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by ceramicspaniel at 12:09 AM on October 30, 2021 [4 favorites]
Weird? Nah. It seems like a great idea to me. The actual handout is not really that important. New or old, few of the recipients will be using them for more than a few days. It is the fact that you have thought about the kids that cannot have candy or choose not to have candy that counts. One year, a dear friend's child wanted so badly to go trick or treating. They were not allowed to have candy for a medical reason (diabetes?) that escapes me now. They went just to dress up and be like the other kids. When they got home, they dumped out their bag and...cried. Don't worry about the items being old. They are unused and new to whomever gets them. If you have extra at the end of the day, donate them somewhere instead of warehousing them until next year.
posted by AugustWest at 12:10 AM on October 30, 2021 [13 favorites]
posted by AugustWest at 12:10 AM on October 30, 2021 [13 favorites]
Put it all together in cute cello bags. They’ll be absolutely great for kids to open later after they’ve devoured the best candy and are bored and mildly crashing. Parents will be pleased.
posted by iamkimiam at 12:21 AM on October 30, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by iamkimiam at 12:21 AM on October 30, 2021 [2 favorites]
Not weird at all.
posted by niicholas at 12:22 AM on October 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by niicholas at 12:22 AM on October 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
hallowe'en candy
is so yesterday: notepads,
pencils, the future
posted by BobTheScientist at 2:14 AM on October 30, 2021 [5 favorites]
is so yesterday: notepads,
pencils, the future
posted by BobTheScientist at 2:14 AM on October 30, 2021 [5 favorites]
Most kids are going to want the candy, and a few kids, likely with allergies, will want the non-candy. There won't be many, so this isn't a huge deal. I also have a non-candy stash from a few years ago, though I think mine are like creepy toy eyeballs or something. Let the kids choose, and I think this will be fine. I would not die on this hill. If the kids hate it, she'll hear it from them.
posted by bluedaisy at 2:53 AM on October 30, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by bluedaisy at 2:53 AM on October 30, 2021 [2 favorites]
In my circles, it would be weirder and considered an example of consumerist culture gone bonkers to throw away perfectly good non-perishable items to replace them with the exact same things just because they're not brand new. It's the same kind of mindset of updating your phone/car/household furnishings like clockwork even if they still work. It's one of the problems in this world. Don't contribute further to landfill, use the resource you already have.
posted by Balthamos at 3:28 AM on October 30, 2021 [59 favorites]
posted by Balthamos at 3:28 AM on October 30, 2021 [59 favorites]
Several years ago I walked in on a coworker riffling through all the drawers and cabinets in our work kitchen. I asked him if I could help him find something and he said a fork. I opened the flatware drawer and gestured at all the freshly dishwashered forks I had unloaded that morning. He looked uncomfortable and said he wanted a plastic fork. So I opened the cabinet under that drawer and gestured at the huge, nearly full box of plastic forks. He said "aren't those expired?" And I said "forks don't expire." He asked if there were any plastic forks individually wrapped in plastic. I told him no. He asked again if I was sure the box of plastic forks hadn't expired. I said once again "forks don't expire, David." He asked if we would be ordering new plastic forks soon and walked resignedly back over to his desk with a metal fork from the flatware drawer.
This question has big expired fork energy.
posted by phunniemee at 5:33 AM on October 30, 2021 [113 favorites]
This question has big expired fork energy.
posted by phunniemee at 5:33 AM on October 30, 2021 [113 favorites]
It's environmentally friendly, as much as these things can be, to use this stuff for its intended purpose. Even if they were somehow blatantly time/year branded kids aren't going to care.
posted by Mitheral at 6:05 AM on October 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Mitheral at 6:05 AM on October 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
Having fun, non-candy items is one way to make Halloween disability-friendly for kids with diabetes, celiac disease and food allergies-who really don’t want to stay home. It’s good to have options.
posted by childofTethys at 6:08 AM on October 30, 2021 [6 favorites]
posted by childofTethys at 6:08 AM on October 30, 2021 [6 favorites]
It sounds like these things are indistinguishable from new items, and your wife is correct.
posted by Mavri at 6:21 AM on October 30, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by Mavri at 6:21 AM on October 30, 2021 [5 favorites]
They're fine. In many years of giving out treats, I haven't had kids who can't have candy; those parents usually make their own arrangements. Kids who can't have candy can have quarters or dollar bills with their play-dough.
posted by theora55 at 6:26 AM on October 30, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by theora55 at 6:26 AM on October 30, 2021 [2 favorites]
I find it really weird that you think it's weird. Fight the idea that things only have value if they're new!
posted by stray at 6:41 AM on October 30, 2021 [11 favorites]
posted by stray at 6:41 AM on October 30, 2021 [11 favorites]
Nthing that toys don’t expire and not giving them out because of an imperceptible passage of time would be the weird thing.
Pretty sure when we were kids my mum had a box of smallish toys stashed away for years somewhere secret to serve as impromptu emergency gifts if needed.
posted by penguin pie at 6:42 AM on October 30, 2021 [4 favorites]
Pretty sure when we were kids my mum had a box of smallish toys stashed away for years somewhere secret to serve as impromptu emergency gifts if needed.
posted by penguin pie at 6:42 AM on October 30, 2021 [4 favorites]
A bag of candy lasts a few days. A love of reading and writing lasts a lifetime!
posted by oceanjesse at 6:46 AM on October 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by oceanjesse at 6:46 AM on October 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
If they’re not good enough to give for trick or treat, they’re not good enough to give to charity. But they’re fine.
posted by skewed at 6:59 AM on October 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by skewed at 6:59 AM on October 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
That Play-Doh might be dried out - you should pop some open to be sure.
posted by soelo at 7:13 AM on October 30, 2021
posted by soelo at 7:13 AM on October 30, 2021
Yes, "donate the old somewhere" -- like, for example, into the trick-or-treat bags of the kids who visit your house.
posted by redfoxtail at 7:16 AM on October 30, 2021 [6 favorites]
posted by redfoxtail at 7:16 AM on October 30, 2021 [6 favorites]
Covid only canceled halloween last year, not in 2019, so these things may not have been sitting as long as you imagine. Agree it’s not an issue anyway if they’re not damaged or dirty.
posted by Gravel at 7:32 AM on October 30, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by Gravel at 7:32 AM on October 30, 2021 [3 favorites]
Yes, I would not find this weird at all. I bought like 200 little tulle baggies for last year’s Halloween. We probably won’t use them up until next year. I literally didn’t give it a second thought. I wouldn’t even worry about your Play Dough drying out unless the lids seem loose - my kid has Play Dough (both name brand and knock-off) that has been in use for 5 or 6 years without getting dry. Do not sweat this.
posted by Kriesa at 7:39 AM on October 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Kriesa at 7:39 AM on October 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
Give the stuff out freely.
As far as kids who “can’t” have candy, why would they even be trick or treating? That’s not your worry.
posted by BostonTerrier at 7:42 AM on October 30, 2021
As far as kids who “can’t” have candy, why would they even be trick or treating? That’s not your worry.
posted by BostonTerrier at 7:42 AM on October 30, 2021
I always give out non-candy items (it's a way to include kids with allergies or feeding tubes, to those of you who think this isn't a need). I have stickers and tattoos this year that are at least two years old, likely older. It wouldn't occur to me to not give out perfectly good items just because I didn't buy them this year.
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 8:05 AM on October 30, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 8:05 AM on October 30, 2021 [4 favorites]
As long as the stuff isn't visibly dusty, it's not a problem.
The only thing I'd be iffy on is the Play-Doh, for two reasons: one, it can dry out over time.
Two, it's a fairly high maintenance, high supervision toy. It gets pebbled up and scattered all over the home, ground into rugs, stuck in hair, etc.
A lot of parents are just really tapped out and may feel a twinge of despair at Play Doh getting lobbed into trick or treat bags. (I have enough square footage for a Play-Doh area, but otherwise, honestly, I'd feel faintly miserable at my kid being given the stuff.)
Generally, low maintenance is best.
posted by champers at 9:25 AM on October 30, 2021
The only thing I'd be iffy on is the Play-Doh, for two reasons: one, it can dry out over time.
Two, it's a fairly high maintenance, high supervision toy. It gets pebbled up and scattered all over the home, ground into rugs, stuck in hair, etc.
A lot of parents are just really tapped out and may feel a twinge of despair at Play Doh getting lobbed into trick or treat bags. (I have enough square footage for a Play-Doh area, but otherwise, honestly, I'd feel faintly miserable at my kid being given the stuff.)
Generally, low maintenance is best.
posted by champers at 9:25 AM on October 30, 2021
Weird in a good way.
When I was a kid, we'd trade Halloween pillage with each other. There're going to be some very lucky kids who scam their friends of their play doh and stationary in uneven swaps for crappy candy.
posted by porpoise at 11:05 AM on October 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
When I was a kid, we'd trade Halloween pillage with each other. There're going to be some very lucky kids who scam their friends of their play doh and stationary in uneven swaps for crappy candy.
posted by porpoise at 11:05 AM on October 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
Huh? I guess I don't understand the objection to handing these things out. Just because they're old? They don't really expire.
The volunteer organization that I lead hands out stuff like this every year (pens, pencils, erasers, little notebooks, crayons, coloring books, etc.) as part of an annual event. Each year we buy some more. Whatever's left at the end of the day goes into a storage tote for the following year.
You damn betcha' we put that same stuff out, year after year, until it's gone.
I think the only thing we've ever thrown out were highlighters, because those dried up in storage. Hence, no highlighters will be purchased ever again.
Somewhat hilariously, the kids totally remember what we've given out in past years and occasionally complain if they can't find the same pen/pencil/eraser they got previously. Do they care that they were marked with the name of a now-defunct movie theater chain? Nope, not at all.
posted by Kadin2048 at 3:04 PM on October 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
The volunteer organization that I lead hands out stuff like this every year (pens, pencils, erasers, little notebooks, crayons, coloring books, etc.) as part of an annual event. Each year we buy some more. Whatever's left at the end of the day goes into a storage tote for the following year.
You damn betcha' we put that same stuff out, year after year, until it's gone.
I think the only thing we've ever thrown out were highlighters, because those dried up in storage. Hence, no highlighters will be purchased ever again.
Somewhat hilariously, the kids totally remember what we've given out in past years and occasionally complain if they can't find the same pen/pencil/eraser they got previously. Do they care that they were marked with the name of a now-defunct movie theater chain? Nope, not at all.
posted by Kadin2048 at 3:04 PM on October 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
My child who hasn't been to the dentist in two years due to the pandemic just went and has 6 cavities. There is no way he is the only one. Please give out these non-candy items, parents will thank you.
posted by Toddles at 4:05 PM on October 30, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by Toddles at 4:05 PM on October 30, 2021 [3 favorites]
>It's the same kind of mindset of updating your phone/car/household furnishings like clockwork even if they still work.
It's a security issue if you have a device on the internet and running software apps that you don't update. The rank consumerism also happens and I'm glad you call it out here. Even if your device still works fine for you when it is no longer receiving security updates, there will be flaws in the software left open to attack. Friends don't let friends run outdated, known-vulnerable software.
On topic: tat you've had in your basement for a few years will be fine as 'new to us' for the people you gift to. Best case, it meets a need; worst case, you're merely meeting your social obligations for performative gifting at All Hallows' Eve.
posted by k3ninho at 7:15 AM on October 31, 2021
It's a security issue if you have a device on the internet and running software apps that you don't update. The rank consumerism also happens and I'm glad you call it out here. Even if your device still works fine for you when it is no longer receiving security updates, there will be flaws in the software left open to attack. Friends don't let friends run outdated, known-vulnerable software.
On topic: tat you've had in your basement for a few years will be fine as 'new to us' for the people you gift to. Best case, it meets a need; worst case, you're merely meeting your social obligations for performative gifting at All Hallows' Eve.
posted by k3ninho at 7:15 AM on October 31, 2021
If it makes you feel any better, this year I'm giving out goodie bags that include used, worn Pokemon cards. They were a hit with trick-or-treaters two years ago and I bet they still are this year. (I've also got one goodie bag that contains naught but a package of chicken Top Ramen; I'm eager to see if that has any takers.)
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:56 PM on October 31, 2021
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:56 PM on October 31, 2021
A few years ago, at work, we have a Halloween trick or treat for the kids.
I handed out Halloween themed pencils, and *all* of the kids wanted them. I ended up running out, so the last few stragglers got plain Ticondoroga #2 pencils pilfered from the supply room, and they were even excited for *those*. It took me completely by surprise; I expected it to be a dud, and I'd have 38 eyeball pencils to use for the next year or so.
So - I'd hand them out without reservations - they may be more popular than you think.
posted by spinifex23 at 11:01 PM on October 31, 2021 [2 favorites]
I handed out Halloween themed pencils, and *all* of the kids wanted them. I ended up running out, so the last few stragglers got plain Ticondoroga #2 pencils pilfered from the supply room, and they were even excited for *those*. It took me completely by surprise; I expected it to be a dud, and I'd have 38 eyeball pencils to use for the next year or so.
So - I'd hand them out without reservations - they may be more popular than you think.
posted by spinifex23 at 11:01 PM on October 31, 2021 [2 favorites]
We've given out non-candy things in addition to candy, and what kids always go wild for is (a) stickers--doesn't matter what kind--and (b) mini bottle of bubbles.
posted by telophase at 11:23 AM on November 1, 2021
posted by telophase at 11:23 AM on November 1, 2021
The Teal Pumpkin Project has resources and ideas to support this type of non-food Hallowe'en treat giveaways.
posted by JDC8 at 10:58 AM on November 3, 2021
posted by JDC8 at 10:58 AM on November 3, 2021
I am slow and was still thinking about this question even though the day has gone by. I think your reaction might have to do with the ritual aspect of the holiday. You wanted to give out the best stuff to the trick or treaters. Maybe it's like holidays where people put on new clothing as part of the celebration. It's a little extra effort, a sacrifice as part of the rite. In any case I hope you had a good Halloween.
posted by Lookinguppy at 12:43 PM on November 3, 2021
posted by Lookinguppy at 12:43 PM on November 3, 2021
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by Crystalinne at 11:41 PM on October 29, 2021 [47 favorites]