What's a good name for an office can crusher?

October 29, 2021 8:25 AM

My office recently added can-crushing machines to all our recycling areas, and I need a good punny name for ours.

One of the other departments went with 'The Crushinator'--I think we can raise the bar from there.

posted by box to Grab Bag (44 answers total)

Best answer: Call it Blue, because it’s soda pressing.
posted by routergirl at 8:29 AM on October 29, 2021 [35 favorites]

Best answer: Wesley Crusher (if you're Star Trek fans)
posted by belladonna at 8:36 AM on October 29, 2021 [29 favorites]

I was going to suggest Crushy McCrushface, but take my favorite, routergirl, I regret that I have but one to share.
posted by Alterscape at 8:37 AM on October 29, 2021 [5 favorites]

Crush Limbaugh, but you probably don't want to bring that shithead's energy into the room.

Canny Crush? Crushin' Doll? Big Time Crush?
posted by letourneau at 8:45 AM on October 29, 2021 [1 favorite]

Jaws.
posted by freya_lamb at 8:47 AM on October 29, 2021 [2 favorites]

I know it'snot a pun, but my first thought was The Crushinator
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:48 AM on October 29, 2021 [5 favorites]

Tin Lizzie?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:49 AM on October 29, 2021 [1 favorite]

Can D. Crush
posted by Erinaceus europaeus at 8:53 AM on October 29, 2021 [7 favorites]

Wesley Crusher (if you're Star Trek fans)

Or just Beverley.
posted by ikahime at 8:53 AM on October 29, 2021 [22 favorites]

Can Did. Can Deed. Uncanny.
posted by xenization at 9:05 AM on October 29, 2021 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Orange Crush
Blue Crush
Wesley / Beverly Crusher
Salman Crushdie
posted by emelenjr at 9:08 AM on October 29, 2021 [5 favorites]

Seems to me that since none of your cans are capable of answering three questions, all of them shall be cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril.
posted by flabdablet at 9:09 AM on October 29, 2021

Crush Hour
The Office Crush
posted by eponym at 9:15 AM on October 29, 2021 [2 favorites]

Robert.
posted by kevinbelt at 9:15 AM on October 29, 2021

Crunch Time
posted by Spathe Cadet at 9:23 AM on October 29, 2021 [2 favorites]

The Crusher.
posted by SPrintF at 9:31 AM on October 29, 2021

Best answer: Whatever the name, there should be a crest with the motto VENI VIDI CRUSHI
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 9:36 AM on October 29, 2021 [14 favorites]

Bender

The Flat Can Society
posted by TimHare at 9:40 AM on October 29, 2021 [2 favorites]

Best answer: Mount Crushmore
posted by mochapickle at 9:42 AM on October 29, 2021 [5 favorites]

The Aluminum Can’t

as in, “Turn your aluminum can into an aluminum can’t.”
posted by mochapickle at 9:47 AM on October 29, 2021 [3 favorites]

Best answer: Crush Davis.
posted by JanetLand at 9:59 AM on October 29, 2021 [2 favorites]

Jaws, yes, with a picture of Richard Kiel.
posted by wenestvedt at 9:59 AM on October 29, 2021

Put some large googly eyes on it and call it Crush with Eyeliner.
posted by nonane at 10:09 AM on October 29, 2021 [2 favorites]

Tin nice-but-thin
posted by Jabberwocky at 10:09 AM on October 29, 2021

Cronch, and put googly eyes on it
posted by The otter lady at 10:13 AM on October 29, 2021 [4 favorites]

We have a clear winner, imho, in emelenjr's "Salman Crushdie," but I'll also throw in Krush Groove, Can-Do Attitude, UnCANny, and ... I got nothin'.
posted by Dr. Wu at 10:41 AM on October 29, 2021 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Crush Crushtoferson
posted by blackjack514 at 11:20 AM on October 29, 2021 [8 favorites]

Best answer: Tinny Temper.
posted by Hogshead at 11:42 AM on October 29, 2021 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Cap’n Crunch
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:28 PM on October 29, 2021 [3 favorites]

Best answer: Canadu (Can aDieu)
Caveat Empty
Canamaw (your can, a plan: Canamaw!)
Cave Canem
posted by jamjam at 12:48 PM on October 29, 2021 [4 favorites]

Best answer: Cangaroo Court (where justice is served right away)
posted by TimHare at 1:16 PM on October 29, 2021 [1 favorite]

Cap’n Crunch

Only if it has a jaunty little hat!
posted by wenestvedt at 1:39 PM on October 29, 2021 [2 favorites]

Candide
posted by bricoleur at 1:41 PM on October 29, 2021 [1 favorite]

No can do.
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 1:44 PM on October 29, 2021 [3 favorites]

Response by poster: Thanks, everybody! I went with 'Salman Crushdie' (maybe I should've mentioned that I work in a library), but marked a lot more best answers. Keep 'em coming, if you're so inclined--we have a lot of branches.
posted by box at 1:50 PM on October 29, 2021 [7 favorites]

Response by poster: (And if you have one for our teen floor, where the average visitor is about 14 and the average staff member about 26, I’m listening.)
posted by box at 4:51 PM on October 29, 2021

Dunno if teens are still into Potter, but you could have it be the Crushio Curse.
posted by bfranklin at 7:44 AM on October 30, 2021

FLATTENO ALUMINUM!
posted by flabdablet at 8:48 AM on October 30, 2021

My First Crush
posted by blob at 3:56 PM on October 30, 2021 [1 favorite]

Not for kids, but:

John Belushi
posted by jamjam at 12:45 AM on October 31, 2021

Can-yay West
posted by Hogshead at 5:59 AM on October 31, 2021

Citizen Crush

Old Man and the Can
posted by artdrectr at 7:20 PM on November 5, 2021

Can DOA
posted by jamjam at 8:47 PM on November 5, 2021

Can Abyss
posted by jamjam at 9:08 PM on November 5, 2021