Good gifts for introducing ourselves as new neighbors?
October 7, 2021 4:10 PM Subscribe
We just bought our first house and it's important to us that we introduce ourselves to our new neighbors and get things started off on the right foot. Besides providing them with our contact info and such we'd like to include a small gift of some sort and are looking for ideas!
This kind of gift is hard for me because the recipients are complete unknowns as far as likes, dislikes, allergies, etc. go and I know there's a decent chance that whatever we give will go unused/be tossed even if the thought is appreciated.
Budget is very flexible with a max of ~$40.
This kind of gift is hard for me because the recipients are complete unknowns as far as likes, dislikes, allergies, etc. go and I know there's a decent chance that whatever we give will go unused/be tossed even if the thought is appreciated.
Budget is very flexible with a max of ~$40.
A house plant - orchids are good bc they’re basically like long lasting fresh flowers but if the person is good with plants, they’re a plant
Chocolate
Creep their social media to see if/what they drink
A grocery store pie
posted by nouvelle-personne at 4:40 PM on October 7, 2021 [2 favorites]
Chocolate
Creep their social media to see if/what they drink
A grocery store pie
posted by nouvelle-personne at 4:40 PM on October 7, 2021 [2 favorites]
We've done this with cookies and been very successful. Yeah, some people might not like or eat them, but that's a risk with basically anything you give people besides money (which would be very weird!). People loved our cookie bags and we instantly had friends all around our new home.
posted by primethyme at 4:51 PM on October 7, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by primethyme at 4:51 PM on October 7, 2021 [1 favorite]
Teas.
posted by rabidsegue at 4:58 PM on October 7, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by rabidsegue at 4:58 PM on October 7, 2021 [1 favorite]
I'm vegan, so I probably wouldn't eat your cookies, but I would still think it was very nice of you to bring them.
However, I knew someone who was given cookies and was actually infuriated that the person who brought them hadn't asked first if she was hypoglycemic.
Takeaway: it's hard to think of an alternative to food (a small plant might be better), but there's no way to be sure of pleasing everyone. However, nice people will appreciate the thought. (I would love fruit or a loaf of bread with jam, but I'm sure there are people who wouldn't eat those.)
posted by FencingGal at 5:04 PM on October 7, 2021 [3 favorites]
However, I knew someone who was given cookies and was actually infuriated that the person who brought them hadn't asked first if she was hypoglycemic.
Takeaway: it's hard to think of an alternative to food (a small plant might be better), but there's no way to be sure of pleasing everyone. However, nice people will appreciate the thought. (I would love fruit or a loaf of bread with jam, but I'm sure there are people who wouldn't eat those.)
posted by FencingGal at 5:04 PM on October 7, 2021 [3 favorites]
If they have pet(s) that you can see, then a gift for the pet. Very safe choice and very fun.
Otherwise, locally grown, immersed (to make sure there are no bugs), non-chrysanthemum/non-daisy/non-lily flowers - chrysanthemums and daisies get rotty and gross very quickly, and lilies are deadly to cats and also get kind of rotty and gross. My recommendation would be ethical roses (if you can get them), snapdragons (cool and cat safe), or discard all my detailed advice and just pick up a cute nosegay.
posted by amtho at 5:14 PM on October 7, 2021 [5 favorites]
Otherwise, locally grown, immersed (to make sure there are no bugs), non-chrysanthemum/non-daisy/non-lily flowers - chrysanthemums and daisies get rotty and gross very quickly, and lilies are deadly to cats and also get kind of rotty and gross. My recommendation would be ethical roses (if you can get them), snapdragons (cool and cat safe), or discard all my detailed advice and just pick up a cute nosegay.
posted by amtho at 5:14 PM on October 7, 2021 [5 favorites]
Seasonal/local farmers market fruits/vegs.
posted by firstdaffodils at 5:14 PM on October 7, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by firstdaffodils at 5:14 PM on October 7, 2021 [1 favorite]
We did this with a bottle of wine. Our neighbors turned out to be long-time sober and well-known local community leaders in AA. They did not accept our gift. They still turned out to be the VERY BEST neighbors. It's the thought that counts -- bring cookies, or bread, or chocolate, or wine, and if they're sober or vegan or whatever they'll still appreciate it and you.
posted by shadygrove at 5:15 PM on October 7, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by shadygrove at 5:15 PM on October 7, 2021 [3 favorites]
Flowers. Not expensive ones, I think. Less than $20. This invokes Ivan's Rule of Flowers: Each $1 of unexpected flowers = $10 of obligatory flowers. A little goes a long way. Good luck and congratulations on the new house!
posted by ivanthenotsoterrible at 5:16 PM on October 7, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by ivanthenotsoterrible at 5:16 PM on October 7, 2021 [5 favorites]
On second thought: how about an invitation to tea out in front of your home? You can ask about their dietary preferences and/or ask them to bring something EASY (store bought cookies) that THEY like -- you both get to learn about each other, it's brief, and everybody brings something they know they'll like so nobody goes hungry.
posted by amtho at 5:16 PM on October 7, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by amtho at 5:16 PM on October 7, 2021 [1 favorite]
Our new neighbour, who just moved in, brought us a pretty orchid.
I'm intending to take them some homemade jam.
posted by Ftsqg at 5:27 PM on October 7, 2021
I'm intending to take them some homemade jam.
posted by Ftsqg at 5:27 PM on October 7, 2021
If the gift is consumable, shelf-stable, and safety-sealed, they can always regift it if needed. Jar of commercial jam/honey/salsa with a stick-on bow on the lid.
Some of us break out in a cold sweat at the thought of finding a place for/keeping our pets from eating/keeping alive a houseplant. Every time someone’s put me in charge of an orchid, I’ve inadvertently tortured both myself and the orchid until only one of us was left. (So far it’s always been me. Next time, who knows?)
posted by armeowda at 5:30 PM on October 7, 2021 [10 favorites]
Some of us break out in a cold sweat at the thought of finding a place for/keeping our pets from eating/keeping alive a houseplant. Every time someone’s put me in charge of an orchid, I’ve inadvertently tortured both myself and the orchid until only one of us was left. (So far it’s always been me. Next time, who knows?)
posted by armeowda at 5:30 PM on October 7, 2021 [10 favorites]
If you have a bakery or fancy grocery store or farmer’s market nearby, get something locally made or grown. Preferably cutely packaged and labeled. Cookies, a tea selection, a loaf of bread and cheese from a local dairy, some very fresh fruit or vegetables, locally produced honey… a lot of places will have local specialities or neighborhood favorites. If there is an independent coffee shop nearby they might have packaged treats made by local caterers. If there is a plant nursery nearby you could do some little potted succulents or flowers. Anyway, the point is: if you give something local and relevant to the neighborhood, the recipient can regift it more easily to someone outside of the neighborhood with the addition of “it’s from this place near where I live!” which is a lot nicer than “some new neighbor foisted this on me and I don’t want it.”
The best thing a neighbor did for me in terms of contact information was handing me a blank business card that they had clearly hand drawn a little neighborhood map on with a star at their location, a return address sticker (the kind you put on a letter), and a listing of the family like “Adam - husband, Miriam - grandma, Peanut Butter - orange cat”. It was great because first of all I could magnet it to my fridge but mostly they recognized the importance of learning all pet names.
posted by Mizu at 5:35 PM on October 7, 2021 [3 favorites]
The best thing a neighbor did for me in terms of contact information was handing me a blank business card that they had clearly hand drawn a little neighborhood map on with a star at their location, a return address sticker (the kind you put on a letter), and a listing of the family like “Adam - husband, Miriam - grandma, Peanut Butter - orange cat”. It was great because first of all I could magnet it to my fridge but mostly they recognized the importance of learning all pet names.
posted by Mizu at 5:35 PM on October 7, 2021 [3 favorites]
Agreed that it doesn't matter what your gift is, just that you're showing goodwill. A mix of cookies or nuts with a note are good, even if lots of people are allergic to either - they'll still understand it as a nice gift that isn't so much that they should feel super guilty if they regift it for any reason. I also favorited Mizu's post because my mom made a similar map for neighbors in 1977, and they commented on it 40 years later (partially because their rural Mennonite family expected them to be victims of crime as soon as they arrived in the Detroit area, instead they got a map with kids and pets). So, y'no, if you become the neighbors who know other neighbors, share with newbies. And if you don't own a pet, talked to those who do.
(Also, go you for doing this Before you tick off the new neighbors, like we did by unknowingly trimming their hedge - the pie we got them was obviously acknowledged as nice, if not necessarily appreciated. If we'd done something nice earlier it might've smoothed things over more)
posted by ldthomps at 6:13 PM on October 7, 2021
(Also, go you for doing this Before you tick off the new neighbors, like we did by unknowingly trimming their hedge - the pie we got them was obviously acknowledged as nice, if not necessarily appreciated. If we'd done something nice earlier it might've smoothed things over more)
posted by ldthomps at 6:13 PM on October 7, 2021
I would not do this at all. Dropping gifts on people you don't know seems socially obsessive. I would not give out home made stuff to strangers in this plague time. Give them a chance to welcome you first. If you must, give a decorative chrysanthemum that can decorate a porch, an autumn thing. I have had a couple of new neighbors move in recently. They said hi and first name introduced. If they had tried to hand me $40 worth of anything or come around with a cart with $$ goodies for everyone, I would have wondered if later it would be Amway, or worse.
posted by Oyéah at 7:18 PM on October 7, 2021 [14 favorites]
posted by Oyéah at 7:18 PM on October 7, 2021 [14 favorites]
Traditionally, people bring housewarming gifts to you. I'd be more inclined to have a bonfire, invite neighbors to drop by and say hello.
posted by theora55 at 7:46 PM on October 7, 2021
posted by theora55 at 7:46 PM on October 7, 2021
Bringing gifts when you go a new neighbor's house to introduce yourself is not traditional, and some folks might find it weird. But I also get the instinct to do it!
If you do this, I'd go with something casual and low-key, maybe even something you could use as the excuse to go over there in the first place. Like:
"Hey, I got way too many plums at the farmer's market, so I thought I'd come over and say hi and see if you wanted any?"
Fruit is a reasonably safe consumable: there will be allergies and dislikes, sure, but it doesn't have as many possible conflicts as anything with gluten, dairy, or meat in it. And good fruit is genuinely well-received by folks who don't have allergies and dislikes (people make fun of fruit baskets, but that's because fruit baskets are often poor quality and too extra--a few pieces of a single variety of good local fruit is not the same thing). And it's not homemade (which some people will find icky and others will find uncomfortably high-effort from a stranger) or storebought-and-packaged (which some people will just find tacky).
So, if you're going to bring anything other than a warm smile some brief friendly chat, and your contact info, let it be fruit.
posted by rhiannonstone at 8:42 PM on October 7, 2021 [2 favorites]
If you do this, I'd go with something casual and low-key, maybe even something you could use as the excuse to go over there in the first place. Like:
"Hey, I got way too many plums at the farmer's market, so I thought I'd come over and say hi and see if you wanted any?"
Fruit is a reasonably safe consumable: there will be allergies and dislikes, sure, but it doesn't have as many possible conflicts as anything with gluten, dairy, or meat in it. And good fruit is genuinely well-received by folks who don't have allergies and dislikes (people make fun of fruit baskets, but that's because fruit baskets are often poor quality and too extra--a few pieces of a single variety of good local fruit is not the same thing). And it's not homemade (which some people will find icky and others will find uncomfortably high-effort from a stranger) or storebought-and-packaged (which some people will just find tacky).
So, if you're going to bring anything other than a warm smile some brief friendly chat, and your contact info, let it be fruit.
posted by rhiannonstone at 8:42 PM on October 7, 2021 [2 favorites]
Ah...where I come from (central east coast US) neighbors come to *you* with cookies/casseroles/pies. You don't have to ask them in, it is understood that your move in tasks take precedence. Your job is to bring the dishes back with some analogous baked good, and stay when pressed to come in for a cup of coffee / glass of iced tea. Thus the process of integration begins.
If you dont trust your neighbors to follow social niceties (and even in the south not all of them will, of course. Sadly, society has moved on from those days) just drop off a nice handwritten note with your name and address.
posted by ananci at 9:26 PM on October 7, 2021 [3 favorites]
If you dont trust your neighbors to follow social niceties (and even in the south not all of them will, of course. Sadly, society has moved on from those days) just drop off a nice handwritten note with your name and address.
posted by ananci at 9:26 PM on October 7, 2021 [3 favorites]
Depends on the culture where you are. Personally I think offering gifts to people that you don't know yet is kinda pushy and intrusive, like you're setting the terms of the relationship. Where we are it's fine to share some cookies once you say hi and know your neighbours a bit better.
posted by ovvl at 10:05 PM on October 7, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by ovvl at 10:05 PM on October 7, 2021 [1 favorite]
I'd invite everyone in the neighborhood to an afternoon "open house". "Hey, we're new here and we want to be good neighbors. Please come by on Sunday between 2 and 4 for snacks and drinks. We're looking forward to meeting you all!"
posted by bendy at 10:24 PM on October 7, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by bendy at 10:24 PM on October 7, 2021 [2 favorites]
I'm one of those that would be weirded out by any sort of gift from a new neighbor. I mean, I would accept it graciously and have a chat and everything, but afterwords would feel like there's some sort of obligation (albeit a very mild one).
I think new neighbors just introducing themselves and having a brief chat would seem much more normal, unless you did it in the way rhiannonstone suggests, just happen to have extra of some treat and thought you share as a way of introduction.
I live in a highly urban area though, and my neighbors front door is literally two feet away from mine in our row houses, so my attitude on this may be location specific.
posted by newpotato at 2:34 AM on October 8, 2021 [3 favorites]
I think new neighbors just introducing themselves and having a brief chat would seem much more normal, unless you did it in the way rhiannonstone suggests, just happen to have extra of some treat and thought you share as a way of introduction.
I live in a highly urban area though, and my neighbors front door is literally two feet away from mine in our row houses, so my attitude on this may be location specific.
posted by newpotato at 2:34 AM on October 8, 2021 [3 favorites]
When I was growing up on various places in the USA, it was traditional for the old neoghbos to welcome the new neighbors with some low-key cookies. And as ananci says, this was expected to be super-short stopping by.
posted by NotLost at 4:48 AM on October 8, 2021
posted by NotLost at 4:48 AM on October 8, 2021
I would feel bad if you brought me anything because where I'm from (but not where i live) the old neighbors welcome the new ones and if you reversed this I'd feel a bit weird/embarrassed/ashamed I didn't get to you first (I'd get over it). But what would make me feel really good is to help you settle in some way w/out being the overbearing neighbor next door, ever heard the saying 'want a friend ask a favor'? How about just a little flyer that has your contact info, a little bit about you and any requests for recommendations you're in need of ('btw we're looking for a dog walker/carpenter, etc').
posted by snowymorninblues at 8:26 AM on October 8, 2021
posted by snowymorninblues at 8:26 AM on October 8, 2021
Man, we just tried this last year after moving in right before the pandemic started and basically nobody talking to us for the first...six months? We dropped off little baggies of Halloween candy, since trick-or-treating was cancelled, with our names and a number/email in case anyone wanted/needed to reach us in case of emergency. On our block, I think we had four people total say anything, and two of them have since moved and the other two we've never really spoken to again, so don't expect much of a response. Although reading through this it sounds like we committed a bit of a faux pas and maybe inadvertently offended folks, so maybe it's not a good idea!
I do try to strike up conversations with people walking cute dogs and stuff, but honestly I have no idea how people ever learn their neighbors' names. Please report back if you figure it out!
posted by bowtiesarecool at 8:37 AM on October 8, 2021
I do try to strike up conversations with people walking cute dogs and stuff, but honestly I have no idea how people ever learn their neighbors' names. Please report back if you figure it out!
posted by bowtiesarecool at 8:37 AM on October 8, 2021
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by emjaybee at 4:34 PM on October 7, 2021 [18 favorites]