Examples of parasocial relationships
May 26, 2021 7:31 AM Subscribe
I'm looking for good stories of parasocial relationships -- particularly examples that show how these relationships can get extreme/obsessive. News stories, blog posts, online drama threads all welcome.
Smokey Glow on youtube has a lot of this kind of content. In between her makeup videos she has some "evolution of [famous youtuber]" and "let's talk about [problematic youtube thing]" videos that are pretty good. She's starting a series about family vloggers. All of it comes back to the parasocial relationship these folks have with their fans, for good and for bad. In the world of metayoutube content she's much less tea sippin and way more accountability than other channels.
posted by phunniemee at 8:03 AM on May 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by phunniemee at 8:03 AM on May 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
If you haven't seen Shannon Strucci's "Fake Friends" (part 1 and 2), that's the place to start.
posted by Jeanne at 8:08 AM on May 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by Jeanne at 8:08 AM on May 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
Would you accept the national spasm of grief after Princess Diana died?
The podcast "You're Wrong About" covered this a couple of months ago, in several episodes that focused on her life but which mentioned the general public's emotional entanglement.
https://www.buzzsprout.com/1112270
posted by wenestvedt at 8:24 AM on May 26, 2021 [4 favorites]
The podcast "You're Wrong About" covered this a couple of months ago, in several episodes that focused on her life but which mentioned the general public's emotional entanglement.
https://www.buzzsprout.com/1112270
posted by wenestvedt at 8:24 AM on May 26, 2021 [4 favorites]
Stan by Eminem is probably the most famous example, and it literally coined the term "stan" to mean an obsessed fan.
posted by underclocked at 8:41 AM on May 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by underclocked at 8:41 AM on May 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
The conjecture that Frosties/Frosted Flakes mascot Tony the Tiger's Twitter profile ended up becoming a generic brand profile because people couldn't stop calling him daddy and making sex references about him when the Twitter profile was focused on the character is kind of fascinating. I'm not sure it's a pure example of what you're looking for, as it has the bonus complexity of being a parasocial relationship with a fictional mascot invented for reasons of brand promotion, rather than a parasocial relationship with a real person who exists, but as someone who has no sex feels for mascots or any interest in interacting that way online, I find the behaviour bizarre and interesting in equal measure.
posted by terretu at 9:14 AM on May 26, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by terretu at 9:14 AM on May 26, 2021 [4 favorites]
I cannot link to anything, I'm afraid, as this is something I read on that old web site Fandom Wank - but there apparently were not just one, but two women who each independently came to the conclusion that they were each in a romantic relationship with Severus Snape. (Not Alan Rickman, but the character Severus Snape.) Each had apparently created a web page attesting to her respective devotion and announcing her respective commitment to Snape (one apparently claimed that they had been "married on the astral plane").
And then one of them one day decided to post a link to her web page in a Harry Potter fan site, the other one saw it and was all "oh no you don't" and there then was an online battle royale.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:48 AM on May 26, 2021 [8 favorites]
And then one of them one day decided to post a link to her web page in a Harry Potter fan site, the other one saw it and was all "oh no you don't" and there then was an online battle royale.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:48 AM on May 26, 2021 [8 favorites]
Spend any time at all in the Bachelor fandom/subreddit.
From the moment the names of potential contestants are released, fans of the franchise start investigating their social media profiles and forming opinions. Various fandom podcasts will give their first impressions. There are various threads in the subreddit asking for tea on people who know/know of the contestants offline.
During the taping/airing months of each season, there are regularly “spoiler” threads on the subreddit for people who want to share and discuss leaked information and rumors. Also during airing, when the contestants come back to social media and start posting about the show, their social media posts are reported on within the fandom.
One particular Bachelor podcast—Game of Roses—takes this to the next level. Their whole gimmick is treating Bachelor shows like a sport, and they put a huge emphasis on social media engagement by current and former contestants. One of their weekly segments is literally called “Parasocial Play of the Week”, where they breakdown the 2-4 best Instagram posts. They also do “This Week In Gains” where they report and forecast the number of Instagram followers gained by current contestants.
Even when contestants are no longer on the show, the fandom will still follow them and report on them for years to come, reporting on the ups and downs of their romantic lives.
I could write a mini essay here about the subreddit noticing that recent contestant/winner(?) Dale Moss posted a lot of pictures of his feet in his Instagram stories, internally teasing him about it, then word getting back to Dale, who then commented on/played into the trend, but there’s a bigger parasocial drama fish to fry.
Apologies for the lack of links, I’m on mobile and recounting what I (unfortunately) witnessed second hand in the past 6 months.
During Matt James’s season of the Bachelor, the fandom guessed/spoiled his final 1/season winner (Rachael) by catching him *listening to a Spotify playlist she created*. I might have my timeline wrong, but soon after this some white-supremacy-looking social media posts were found linked to Rachael, including a TikTok video accusing Rachael of bullying the poster in high school over the poster dating black guys, Rachael liking a post of her friend posting with the Confederate flag in the background, and most notably, Rachael attending an “Old South” party in college, when such parties were banned. By the way, Matt James is the first Black man to be cast as a lead on the Bachelor.
Cue fan outrage. Racism in the show and the fandom were already a hot button topic, and this didn’t help. The host of the Bachelor, Chris Harrison, did an ET interview defending Rachael... and the person interviewing him was a Black woman... who has been the first Black Bachelorette on his show a few years ago. Chris handled it so poorly that the fan outrage got worse and he was replaced as host for the final episode of Matt’s season and the whole upcoming season of the Bachelorette. It’s unclear if/when he will return as host. But this is getting away from the parasocial nature of your question.
I don’t know if things are similar for other reality shows, but for the Bachelor fandom, the parasocial game is a huge deal.
posted by itesser at 10:09 AM on May 26, 2021 [6 favorites]
From the moment the names of potential contestants are released, fans of the franchise start investigating their social media profiles and forming opinions. Various fandom podcasts will give their first impressions. There are various threads in the subreddit asking for tea on people who know/know of the contestants offline.
During the taping/airing months of each season, there are regularly “spoiler” threads on the subreddit for people who want to share and discuss leaked information and rumors. Also during airing, when the contestants come back to social media and start posting about the show, their social media posts are reported on within the fandom.
One particular Bachelor podcast—Game of Roses—takes this to the next level. Their whole gimmick is treating Bachelor shows like a sport, and they put a huge emphasis on social media engagement by current and former contestants. One of their weekly segments is literally called “Parasocial Play of the Week”, where they breakdown the 2-4 best Instagram posts. They also do “This Week In Gains” where they report and forecast the number of Instagram followers gained by current contestants.
Even when contestants are no longer on the show, the fandom will still follow them and report on them for years to come, reporting on the ups and downs of their romantic lives.
I could write a mini essay here about the subreddit noticing that recent contestant/winner(?) Dale Moss posted a lot of pictures of his feet in his Instagram stories, internally teasing him about it, then word getting back to Dale, who then commented on/played into the trend, but there’s a bigger parasocial drama fish to fry.
Apologies for the lack of links, I’m on mobile and recounting what I (unfortunately) witnessed second hand in the past 6 months.
During Matt James’s season of the Bachelor, the fandom guessed/spoiled his final 1/season winner (Rachael) by catching him *listening to a Spotify playlist she created*. I might have my timeline wrong, but soon after this some white-supremacy-looking social media posts were found linked to Rachael, including a TikTok video accusing Rachael of bullying the poster in high school over the poster dating black guys, Rachael liking a post of her friend posting with the Confederate flag in the background, and most notably, Rachael attending an “Old South” party in college, when such parties were banned. By the way, Matt James is the first Black man to be cast as a lead on the Bachelor.
Cue fan outrage. Racism in the show and the fandom were already a hot button topic, and this didn’t help. The host of the Bachelor, Chris Harrison, did an ET interview defending Rachael... and the person interviewing him was a Black woman... who has been the first Black Bachelorette on his show a few years ago. Chris handled it so poorly that the fan outrage got worse and he was replaced as host for the final episode of Matt’s season and the whole upcoming season of the Bachelorette. It’s unclear if/when he will return as host. But this is getting away from the parasocial nature of your question.
I don’t know if things are similar for other reality shows, but for the Bachelor fandom, the parasocial game is a huge deal.
posted by itesser at 10:09 AM on May 26, 2021 [6 favorites]
The case of Mark David Chapman is about as extreme as it gets.
posted by at at 10:30 AM on May 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by at at 10:30 AM on May 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
I would propose a couple of examples that encompass not individuals, but...
- an entire country, plus some, in the case of British royalty, and
- a huge demographic, in the case of a certain ex-president.
posted by stormyteal at 10:54 AM on May 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
- an entire country, plus some, in the case of British royalty, and
- a huge demographic, in the case of a certain ex-president.
posted by stormyteal at 10:54 AM on May 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
Seconding the “Game of Roses” podcast for parasocial analysis; their (paid) Patreon features dig in even deeper.
posted by rogerroger at 11:24 AM on May 26, 2021
posted by rogerroger at 11:24 AM on May 26, 2021
I don't have any specific articles, but I would recommend looking up various stories about Sasaengs - obsessive fans of South Korean idols/actors/etc. The linked Wikipedia article's "Selected Incidents" can give you a taste of the pretty intense situations that have occurred - and there have been so much more.
posted by thebots at 12:24 PM on May 26, 2021
posted by thebots at 12:24 PM on May 26, 2021
How much of a relationship does the celebrity have to have had with the person? I found the Olivia Wilde stalker situation to be interesting. I had a peek at the "alleged" stalker's twitter account before he made it private. He said she was lying and that she was happy to have conversations with him but it seems that all that happened was that he barged in on one of her zoom calls. Sort of interesting how a person can twist things to appear how they want it to be. It's easy to misconstrue an actual conversation but imagining one that never actually took place is hard to understand.
posted by ihaveyourfoot at 3:13 PM on May 26, 2021
posted by ihaveyourfoot at 3:13 PM on May 26, 2021
Someone mentioned the royals. I think my country's borderline psychotic, misogynistic and racist attitude towards Meghan Markle ought to count here. It's also really bizarre how many grown women projected their own desires of being a princess onto her as if she stole their dream and should be punished for both her naivety (or "cunning") and luck. The abuse was addressed but it hasn't changed anything. They're still obsessed with demonising her.
I found Carole Malone's reaction to Paul McCartney marrying Heather Mills to be a little too involved. I can't find the articles but from what I recall, she was pleading with him not to and came off like he was breaking the hearts of The Beatles' girl fans. It was weird. It's odd how angry journalists get in the UK over celebrity behaviour like they owe them something!
The teeth bearing obsession with Depp Vs Heard deserves a mention too. There was a huge guy who would walk behind her car holding up a placard and booing her as she went into court. I have no idea how a grown man especially of his size (and age) thinks it's remotely okay to do that.
There is so much misogyny in all of this where people believe they have a right to cross the boundaries of women. Like they have an automatic right to every part of a woman's existence.
People were talking about Piers Morgan's infatuation with Meghan as if it was out of the ordinary but it isn't here. Journalists in the UK are disturbingly obsessed with the lives of women (especially young women) and take great pleasure in the abuse. It's frightening as hell that this is allowed to happen.
I hope this counts anyway. I wanted to just highlight that people with a lot more power and access (journalists) will fuel the infatuation and obsession. The British press actively encourages a lack of boundaries especially emotional ones.
posted by ihaveyourfoot at 4:09 PM on May 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
I found Carole Malone's reaction to Paul McCartney marrying Heather Mills to be a little too involved. I can't find the articles but from what I recall, she was pleading with him not to and came off like he was breaking the hearts of The Beatles' girl fans. It was weird. It's odd how angry journalists get in the UK over celebrity behaviour like they owe them something!
The teeth bearing obsession with Depp Vs Heard deserves a mention too. There was a huge guy who would walk behind her car holding up a placard and booing her as she went into court. I have no idea how a grown man especially of his size (and age) thinks it's remotely okay to do that.
There is so much misogyny in all of this where people believe they have a right to cross the boundaries of women. Like they have an automatic right to every part of a woman's existence.
People were talking about Piers Morgan's infatuation with Meghan as if it was out of the ordinary but it isn't here. Journalists in the UK are disturbingly obsessed with the lives of women (especially young women) and take great pleasure in the abuse. It's frightening as hell that this is allowed to happen.
I hope this counts anyway. I wanted to just highlight that people with a lot more power and access (journalists) will fuel the infatuation and obsession. The British press actively encourages a lack of boundaries especially emotional ones.
posted by ihaveyourfoot at 4:09 PM on May 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
Sarah Z just released a fantastic video essay about the McElroy brothers/The Adventure Zone fandom that talks a LOT about parasocial relationships in general, and how the brothers leaned into that aspect of their community.
Her whole channel is great for fandom investigations/controversies/deep dives, but two other videos that focus on the interaction between fans and creators include JohnLocke conspiracy and #Destielgate. Her Homestuck video might also fit this category, but Homestuck is a... very particular corner of the internet.
While you're in a fandom dissection rabbithole, stop by Jenny Nicholson's The Last Bronycon. Then watch her themepark reviews of Star Wars Galaxy's Edge, Avatar Land, and then "Where's Buzzy" just because they're fantastic.
posted by itesser at 12:17 PM on June 6, 2021
Her whole channel is great for fandom investigations/controversies/deep dives, but two other videos that focus on the interaction between fans and creators include JohnLocke conspiracy and #Destielgate. Her Homestuck video might also fit this category, but Homestuck is a... very particular corner of the internet.
While you're in a fandom dissection rabbithole, stop by Jenny Nicholson's The Last Bronycon. Then watch her themepark reviews of Star Wars Galaxy's Edge, Avatar Land, and then "Where's Buzzy" just because they're fantastic.
posted by itesser at 12:17 PM on June 6, 2021
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The Systemic Abuse of Celebrities
posted by shesdeadimalive at 7:58 AM on May 26, 2021 [1 favorite]