Recommendations for creating conference self-care space
February 2, 2021 11:41 AM Subscribe
Hi all, I am chairing a conference which is going to have sessions dealing with historical trauma, racial reconciliation, and similar topics. Our committee is interested in creating a quiet retreat space available for people to care for themselves in case the discussions become painful. We will be in a typical convention hall setting but can set aside a room for this. Please help us plan to set up the space: what should we include, what should we avoid? Thanks.
Folding screens that people can use to get a bit of privacy, if they want it. Lightweight ones so it isn't a big deal to move them around.
posted by The corpse in the library at 11:55 AM on February 2, 2021 [12 favorites]
posted by The corpse in the library at 11:55 AM on February 2, 2021 [12 favorites]
Seems obvious, but Kleenex and accessible garbage cans. Cold/hot drinks, light snacks. 'Freshening up' supplies (Makeup remover, disposable nice quality papertowels, mouthwash--whatever you think people might like to have to 'feel like they look good' again). Comfy seating, some facing into the room, some facing away. Art supplies; Colouring materials, grownup colouring books/coloured pencils/blank paper. Available by request: Tylenol/Asprin (not to be handing it out, but available for a reasonable grownup to self medicate a headache if needed). Bandaids/basic first aid kit in case someone has picked a scab/nail to point of needing a bandaid. Warm blanket/weighted blankets to wrap around self for calming. Music (with headphones as some might find this intrusive). Staff the in room to host the space/ensure safety/comfort. List of resources that people may want to access after the fact. A crisis plan if you anticipate someone could be so upset as to need immediate help for their safety. Thank you for thinking of peoples needs beyond the main space.
posted by Northbysomewhatcrazy at 12:04 PM on February 2, 2021 [6 favorites]
posted by Northbysomewhatcrazy at 12:04 PM on February 2, 2021 [6 favorites]
Folks may want an additional layer of sonic quiet: you can provide pairs of inexpensive, prepackaged earplugs.
posted by knile at 12:10 PM on February 2, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by knile at 12:10 PM on February 2, 2021 [3 favorites]
A big soft stuffed animal or teddy bear
posted by St. Peepsburg at 12:11 PM on February 2, 2021
posted by St. Peepsburg at 12:11 PM on February 2, 2021
Tea is good, water and fruit drinks are good, snacks that respect the dietary needs of a diverse audience are good. No alcohol.
posted by mhoye at 12:15 PM on February 2, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by mhoye at 12:15 PM on February 2, 2021 [1 favorite]
Some of these are from my final DBT group session, which focused on self-soothing items: Coffee table books with gorgeous images. A little desktop sand table (one of those faux Japanese garden things). Individual packets of unscented moisturizer. Fluffy socks so people can takeoff their shoes and enjoy toe freedom. Different flavors of hard candies, again, individually wrapped. Sounds like you are involved in a truly worthy endeavor. Good luck!
posted by Bella Donna at 12:29 PM on February 2, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by Bella Donna at 12:29 PM on February 2, 2021 [4 favorites]
I would want a way to mark a screened in area as "in use." When I'm trying to pull myself together, one of the last things I want is someone poking their head in to see if the space is available.
posted by librarianamy at 12:29 PM on February 2, 2021 [8 favorites]
posted by librarianamy at 12:29 PM on February 2, 2021 [8 favorites]
"Fidget toys" or similar? Stress balls, therapy putty, etc.
A white noise machine could smooth out sounds in the room without being as potentially intrusive as music.
Maybe a yoga mat or two in case anyone wants to lie down or stretch out for a moment. Some pillows.
Chargers for electronic devices.
Signs listing *very clear* directions on how to access other spaces in the building and what is available to them? Someone having a hard time might not remember all the orientation info and be too upset to ask around. "Bathrooms are down the hall and to your right. A gender neutral restroom is located on the first floor by the stairs. Menstrual products are available for free at both locations. A lactation room is available by request; please let [name] know and they can get a key from the front desk. Vending machines are located x, y, and z. Outdoor space can be accessed by _____. The nearest smoking area is _____."
posted by castlebravo at 1:40 PM on February 2, 2021 [6 favorites]
A white noise machine could smooth out sounds in the room without being as potentially intrusive as music.
Maybe a yoga mat or two in case anyone wants to lie down or stretch out for a moment. Some pillows.
Chargers for electronic devices.
Signs listing *very clear* directions on how to access other spaces in the building and what is available to them? Someone having a hard time might not remember all the orientation info and be too upset to ask around. "Bathrooms are down the hall and to your right. A gender neutral restroom is located on the first floor by the stairs. Menstrual products are available for free at both locations. A lactation room is available by request; please let [name] know and they can get a key from the front desk. Vending machines are located x, y, and z. Outdoor space can be accessed by _____. The nearest smoking area is _____."
posted by castlebravo at 1:40 PM on February 2, 2021 [6 favorites]
Maybe some paper or small notebooks and pens that people can use and keep if they want to do some journaling and don't have their own supplies? I also agree that coloring pages and crayons and colored pencils would be welcome.
posted by bluedaisy at 1:57 PM on February 2, 2021
posted by bluedaisy at 1:57 PM on February 2, 2021
Not sure if this is possible within currently public health recommendations where you are, but having an Elder or Elders available to speak with people (as far as this is a traditional hierarchy in the cultures who may be seeking this self-care) and/or smudging space (if some of the racial groups are Indigenous peoples who practice smudging, you may need to clear this with the venue first!) can be helpful to some people.
posted by urbanlenny at 2:49 PM on February 2, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by urbanlenny at 2:49 PM on February 2, 2021 [3 favorites]
A fan small enough to be portable but still with some oomph. If I am a little faint-y either from anxiety or claustrophobia I need the coldest possible air blowing on me (until I then get too cold, but at least I'm conscious and probably haven't barfed). To the same end, having one or two nap mats will allow someone to lay down if they fear they may fall, or if they need to lay down with their feet raised.
Small leak-free (solid plastic or metal, in case of vomiting) wastebaskets, numerous.
A couple of good clutchable throw pillows plus a couple of squish pillows. These are good for holding/creating chest pressure but also back/head/leg support if needed. And because people are sometimes put off by upholstery/stuffie texture, a couple of pillowcases on hand in a cotton or cotton-poly blend might be handy to cover them with if needed.
A travel neck pillow can be useful for headaches or migraines.
A selection of blood-sugar-propping individually-wrapped snacks. If you're going to have hot water for tea supplies, some packets of instant oatmeal can be nice for people who are a little hypothermic from shock, panic attack, anxiety clenching etc.
Bella Donna mentioned coffee table books of beautiful images, and that is the kind of thing I really like because I can't do that and easily use my phone at the same time. Waiting-room-grade magazines and catalogs are also a sort of auto-pilot grounding tool.
posted by Lyn Never at 3:53 PM on February 2, 2021 [1 favorite]
Small leak-free (solid plastic or metal, in case of vomiting) wastebaskets, numerous.
A couple of good clutchable throw pillows plus a couple of squish pillows. These are good for holding/creating chest pressure but also back/head/leg support if needed. And because people are sometimes put off by upholstery/stuffie texture, a couple of pillowcases on hand in a cotton or cotton-poly blend might be handy to cover them with if needed.
A travel neck pillow can be useful for headaches or migraines.
A selection of blood-sugar-propping individually-wrapped snacks. If you're going to have hot water for tea supplies, some packets of instant oatmeal can be nice for people who are a little hypothermic from shock, panic attack, anxiety clenching etc.
Bella Donna mentioned coffee table books of beautiful images, and that is the kind of thing I really like because I can't do that and easily use my phone at the same time. Waiting-room-grade magazines and catalogs are also a sort of auto-pilot grounding tool.
posted by Lyn Never at 3:53 PM on February 2, 2021 [1 favorite]
You're never going to be able to accommodate everyone.
- One person needs hard candies, the next person over has misophonia.
- One person needs something smelly, the next person gets migraines from it.
- One person needs tissues to blow their nose, the next person needs nobody to be exposing orifices because of the pandemic.
Is there any way to use these ask-me answers to seed a survey which you then send to attendees and ask them what they think they'd need from a space?
posted by aniola at 4:22 PM on February 2, 2021 [1 favorite]
- One person needs hard candies, the next person over has misophonia.
- One person needs something smelly, the next person gets migraines from it.
- One person needs tissues to blow their nose, the next person needs nobody to be exposing orifices because of the pandemic.
Is there any way to use these ask-me answers to seed a survey which you then send to attendees and ask them what they think they'd need from a space?
posted by aniola at 4:22 PM on February 2, 2021 [1 favorite]
Apologies if this is not answering the question.
If this is a conference that people are going to travel overnight to attend, I'd pay really close attention to the attached housing/conference hotel, and how expensive it is.
For many people the most restorative thing will be being able to have some time alone, in their own space. At a lot of the meetings I go to, the hotels are moderately expensive, and the reserved blocks fill up early. So people with more financial/positional privilege and certainty about financial support to attend are able to stay at the conference hotel, and people with less secure funding or lower down on the power food chain tend to stay off-property at cheaper hotels, in shared airbnbs, and with friends.
Solving this is more complicated, for sure, but if it's in reach I might think about it. Solutions could be:
- partial housing grants
- picking a less fancy or less central hotel to keep rates affordable
- helping with the "float" of the cost, where attendees need to book months out to get the rate, but aren't reimbursed by their institution til months later.
(sorry if this is local/one day and this isn't applicable.)
posted by mercredi at 4:37 PM on February 2, 2021 [2 favorites]
If this is a conference that people are going to travel overnight to attend, I'd pay really close attention to the attached housing/conference hotel, and how expensive it is.
For many people the most restorative thing will be being able to have some time alone, in their own space. At a lot of the meetings I go to, the hotels are moderately expensive, and the reserved blocks fill up early. So people with more financial/positional privilege and certainty about financial support to attend are able to stay at the conference hotel, and people with less secure funding or lower down on the power food chain tend to stay off-property at cheaper hotels, in shared airbnbs, and with friends.
Solving this is more complicated, for sure, but if it's in reach I might think about it. Solutions could be:
- partial housing grants
- picking a less fancy or less central hotel to keep rates affordable
- helping with the "float" of the cost, where attendees need to book months out to get the rate, but aren't reimbursed by their institution til months later.
(sorry if this is local/one day and this isn't applicable.)
posted by mercredi at 4:37 PM on February 2, 2021 [2 favorites]
I went to a conference one time that knew it was going to be hitting on some very heavy topics, and the first thing they did was have a workshop on safe space and coping. They shared the venue location set up as a retreat space, and everybody got a little jar to put whatever soothing things they wanted in it (the hard candies, or the soft pompoms or little sayings, etc). The point wasnt really that the jar activity itself (and decorating it or not decorating it to each participants hearts content) or that things in it were going to to be super effective but that everyone participated in understanding that 1) that there were going to be hard topics throughout the conference 2)safe place seeking, and needing extra time/things to take care of self was expected and okay and 3)prompted each participant to think about if there was something they personally wanted to have during the conference to help them out. I think overall it really helped to increase safe space utilization overall. Some people carried their little decorated jars every day for the three day conference. Some people didn't.
I'm not saying that the artsy jar activity would be good for this conference, that specially might not be, but that there might be a way to build some affirmation in from the get go to help people think about this before the conference really gets started.
That's also a time to ask and have people talk about their wants expectations of the room set aside for this purpose and clear up expectations, like if more than one person can use the space at a time.
posted by AlexiaSky at 1:17 AM on February 3, 2021 [1 favorite]
I'm not saying that the artsy jar activity would be good for this conference, that specially might not be, but that there might be a way to build some affirmation in from the get go to help people think about this before the conference really gets started.
That's also a time to ask and have people talk about their wants expectations of the room set aside for this purpose and clear up expectations, like if more than one person can use the space at a time.
posted by AlexiaSky at 1:17 AM on February 3, 2021 [1 favorite]
Oh, also: if members of your audience need it, a dedicated room or part of the room with prayer mats.
posted by mhoye at 5:54 AM on February 3, 2021
posted by mhoye at 5:54 AM on February 3, 2021
As a menopausal person (= occasional strong hot flashes) who has been known to hyperventilate and sweat when stressed, I second Lyn Never's suggestion of a fan.
Writing for The Strategist, Alison Freer recommends this $12 rechargeable neck fan, . She says that it lasted six hours on a single charge when she was tidying up the yard of the friend for whom she was house-sitting, on a 112-degree day in Palm Springs.
I can't personally vouch for the fan, but a couple of Freer's Strategist suggestions have benefited me (specifically, the Sink Shroom hair catcher and a manual shiatsu neck massager), so I thought I'd pass this one along.
posted by virago at 7:44 AM on February 3, 2021
Writing for The Strategist, Alison Freer recommends this $12 rechargeable neck fan, . She says that it lasted six hours on a single charge when she was tidying up the yard of the friend for whom she was house-sitting, on a 112-degree day in Palm Springs.
I can't personally vouch for the fan, but a couple of Freer's Strategist suggestions have benefited me (specifically, the Sink Shroom hair catcher and a manual shiatsu neck massager), so I thought I'd pass this one along.
posted by virago at 7:44 AM on February 3, 2021
Seconding mercredi's point about housing--one of my favorite recurring academic conferences always has some housing available in dorms at the host institution, which is bare-bones but extremely affordable. Another advantage is that it is always quite close to the conference space, so people have the ability to get back to their rooms quickly and easily should they need to. If you can set up something like this, this will both effectively provide private spaces for self-care and signal a commitment to including folks with smaller budgets.
I'd also be careful about how you frame self-care, and making sure that you're not defaulting to a vision of self-care that is nurturing to white people but contains violence to others--if you go with the coffee table book idea, for example, make sure you're paying attention to what the images are, since lots of coffee table books of beautiful homes (for example) contain homes that were built by enslaved people, and pretty much all of them contain homes that were built on the unceded land of Indigenous people.
Also, and sorry if this is not helpful since it's not specifically about this space, I am always really pleased when conferences have pronoun stickers (including she/her, he/him, they/them, and a blank option for those who use neopronouns or other variations) available for those who wish to affix them to their nametag, especially if they are encouraged enough to be widely-adopted but are not compulsory (since some people may not feel comfortable disclosing).
posted by dizziest at 8:27 AM on February 4, 2021 [1 favorite]
I'd also be careful about how you frame self-care, and making sure that you're not defaulting to a vision of self-care that is nurturing to white people but contains violence to others--if you go with the coffee table book idea, for example, make sure you're paying attention to what the images are, since lots of coffee table books of beautiful homes (for example) contain homes that were built by enslaved people, and pretty much all of them contain homes that were built on the unceded land of Indigenous people.
Also, and sorry if this is not helpful since it's not specifically about this space, I am always really pleased when conferences have pronoun stickers (including she/her, he/him, they/them, and a blank option for those who use neopronouns or other variations) available for those who wish to affix them to their nametag, especially if they are encouraged enough to be widely-adopted but are not compulsory (since some people may not feel comfortable disclosing).
posted by dizziest at 8:27 AM on February 4, 2021 [1 favorite]
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-Plants/greenery
-Assortment of teas with hot water
-Bring your own lamps/lighting so you can turn off what will presumably be fluorescents and create a warmer atmosphere
-If possible, places to sit and relax that are comfortable; like plush rather than hard chairs
-I'm not sure what specifically would be best, maybe other people will have suggestions, but something for people to do/focus on if they want to. I'm thinking light or interesting snippets of reading material, puzzles/brainteasers, beading supplies, knitting stuff, things in that sort of vein. Personally when I am upset having something external to focus on while I sort through my thoughts and center emotions is helpful.
posted by DTMFA at 11:52 AM on February 2, 2021 [7 favorites]