Gifts for Nurses: Distanced Pandemic Edition
November 29, 2020 7:47 PM Subscribe
A relative of mine is a nurse currently assigned to a COVID ward. I'd like to give her something extremely helpful and special but keep getting stuck because of...the fucking pandemic, obvs. Extra details and complications within.
Said relative is:
- the mother of a very young child
- recently sober
- living in a rural area
- just beginning a graduate program
My usual inclination for a busy mom under a lot of pressure is to gift help -- housecleaning, restaurant gift cards, babysitting...all things that are no longer applicable as I cannot travel to them, they do not want strangers in the house, and there's no goddamn restaurants to go to. (They are too far out in the boonies for any delivery options, and a quick google of places close enough for pickup shows a 7-11 and a bunch of Temporarily Closed results.)
I'm coming up blank and am terrible at gift-giving even in the best of times, so I will welcome all ideas!
Said relative is:
- the mother of a very young child
- recently sober
- living in a rural area
- just beginning a graduate program
My usual inclination for a busy mom under a lot of pressure is to gift help -- housecleaning, restaurant gift cards, babysitting...all things that are no longer applicable as I cannot travel to them, they do not want strangers in the house, and there's no goddamn restaurants to go to. (They are too far out in the boonies for any delivery options, and a quick google of places close enough for pickup shows a 7-11 and a bunch of Temporarily Closed results.)
I'm coming up blank and am terrible at gift-giving even in the best of times, so I will welcome all ideas!
Tasty Bite instant meals and dried fruit? Possibly a Roomba? If extravagant, are you sure she has a dishwasher?
posted by clew at 8:08 PM on November 29, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by clew at 8:08 PM on November 29, 2020 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Oh yes to head off large appliance-type suggestions: they have a super up-to-date house with all the mod cons, as the kids definitely no longer say.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 8:41 PM on November 29, 2020
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 8:41 PM on November 29, 2020
boxed.com will deliver (mostly) non perishables to the lower 48 states. What about nice bed sheets or some kind of back massager?
posted by oceano at 8:42 PM on November 29, 2020
posted by oceano at 8:42 PM on November 29, 2020
Best answer: If she doesn't already have them, a gold lasso and a shield, because this woman is a fucking superhero. Please tell her this internet stranger is in awe. I'd be crazy impressed with just the things that follow "said relative," but all that while nursing during a pandemic? On the COVID ward? Mad respect.
posted by kate4914 at 9:04 PM on November 29, 2020 [6 favorites]
posted by kate4914 at 9:04 PM on November 29, 2020 [6 favorites]
Honestly - as a HCW right now - call her and ask her what she needs or wants. Especially as food delivery doesn’t seem to be a good option. Could also offer to pick up the tab on something like HomeChef.
posted by honeybee413 at 9:49 PM on November 29, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by honeybee413 at 9:49 PM on November 29, 2020 [3 favorites]
I'd look at sending a gift basket/box of food items - fruit, nuts, cheese, etc. -- the kinds of things really great relatives have sent us in the past. We love the fruit of the month club my partner's parents have sent us. We've loved the oranges and grapefruits another relative sent. Cool food stuffs are out there, and they don't have to be that local (sounds like there's not that much that is local).
You didn't say she was single, so:
I might also look into some kind of Zoom/remote class for the young child so that, if the other parent could supervise that, Mom could study or sleep.
Or maybe a cooking class for the other parent :)
posted by amtho at 11:03 PM on November 29, 2020 [1 favorite]
You didn't say she was single, so:
I might also look into some kind of Zoom/remote class for the young child so that, if the other parent could supervise that, Mom could study or sleep.
Or maybe a cooking class for the other parent :)
posted by amtho at 11:03 PM on November 29, 2020 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Hello, I am a nurse on a Covid unit. Well I was up until last month, when I decided to get a new job in the ICU. Joke's on me, it's the Covid ICU! Ha! I don't have any of the other complications your relative has, but here are some of the giftable things that have been getting me, personally, through the last nine months:
Also, I'll just throw this in, because it's the only thing that really helped me: talking to a trauma counselor who spent an hour validating my feelings and giving me concrete strategies for getting through my day (not things like meditation or exercise but real shit like how to stop a panic attack). If you're close enough to your relative that you could broach that topic, you could say it really helped your friend from the internet who's also a Covid nurse (me). There are a ton of therapists offering their services to HCWs for free, so you could offer to help connect her with someone if setting up a phone call would take up too much of her administrative bandwidth right now. I know it's not a gift and I wouldn't list it here if it weren't the thing that helped me the most this year.
posted by adiabat at 1:19 AM on November 30, 2020 [47 favorites]
- I have never loved bed so much ever. A set of really nice sheets would be amazing. I invested in an expensive pillow and it was worth every penny. Sleep is so precious, anything that helps me sleep more and better is worth any price to me right now.
- Conversely, coffee for my commute helps me hit the ground running when I get to work and really good coffee also distracts me from the internal dread that builds up the whole way there. Hooray!
- Snacks that can be stuffed in a pocket have become a lifeline. I often have to go eight or more hours without eating anything. I have been buying the single-serve packs of these by the box at Trader Joe's and when I finally get a chance to eat I stuff them in my mouth and then I don't cry. I like them in particular because they are delicious, have protein so I can go another few hours without starving, and they have several little bite-sized bits so when I am inevitably interrupted I can cram them back in a pocket until I get another minute to myself and they don't get gooey and gross. They come in three flavors at TJ's, all very good, and honestly, if someone sent me a variety pack of these they would be my favorite person. But snacks are a matter of personal taste so maybe not! It's so hard to say!
- Getting in the shower at the end of a long shift is amazing and fancy smelly shower gels make it even better. I have never been that into froofy soaps but these days I like to smell like a piña colada before I get into bed.
- Similarly, really fancy hand lotion is a new thing I'm into, to repair all the damage caused by twelve hours of soap and sanitizer and cleaning wipes and sweaty gloves.
Also, I'll just throw this in, because it's the only thing that really helped me: talking to a trauma counselor who spent an hour validating my feelings and giving me concrete strategies for getting through my day (not things like meditation or exercise but real shit like how to stop a panic attack). If you're close enough to your relative that you could broach that topic, you could say it really helped your friend from the internet who's also a Covid nurse (me). There are a ton of therapists offering their services to HCWs for free, so you could offer to help connect her with someone if setting up a phone call would take up too much of her administrative bandwidth right now. I know it's not a gift and I wouldn't list it here if it weren't the thing that helped me the most this year.
posted by adiabat at 1:19 AM on November 30, 2020 [47 favorites]
There are some good suggestions for non-perishables food and pampering. Maybe make them periodic? One less thing to worry about? Gift cards for gas? Living in a rural area can’t be close to the hospital. Pick up a year of Netflix or Disney for the child?
posted by lemon_icing at 3:47 AM on November 30, 2020
posted by lemon_icing at 3:47 AM on November 30, 2020
I use Vitacost to send care packages with snacks to a busy mom. Among other things, they have the protein bites adiabat links to as well nice toiletries if you want to send those.
posted by FencingGal at 3:48 AM on November 30, 2020
posted by FencingGal at 3:48 AM on November 30, 2020
In terms of food pick up options depending on the shifts she's working, checking near her hospital may be an option for her to grab something before (if it's now cold enough that the car is effectively a freezer during the day, ymmv on that one) or after on the way home.
And if there's laundry pick up drop off service that services her house, that may be an amazing gift . Having time to do laundry and then fold laundry even when when you have your own machines is such a difficult thing. There is magic in folded laundry being delivered to your door.
In our area there was some discounts for laundry services for hospital staff, but I'm not sure that they continued as the locations were really inconvenient to me.
posted by AlexiaSky at 4:18 AM on November 30, 2020 [1 favorite]
And if there's laundry pick up drop off service that services her house, that may be an amazing gift . Having time to do laundry and then fold laundry even when when you have your own machines is such a difficult thing. There is magic in folded laundry being delivered to your door.
In our area there was some discounts for laundry services for hospital staff, but I'm not sure that they continued as the locations were really inconvenient to me.
posted by AlexiaSky at 4:18 AM on November 30, 2020 [1 favorite]
Hamper of food - things that can be eaten with little prep as a meal, to save on cooking at the end of a day or snacks that can be taken to work. Cheeses, cured meats, nuts, chips, breadsticks, olives, rice cakes, crackers, cookies, chocolate. If there are hot drinks she likes, tea, coffee, hot chocolate.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 4:26 AM on November 30, 2020
posted by EndsOfInvention at 4:26 AM on November 30, 2020
Because of "recently sober" and the holidays coming up, I might consider delivering an assortment of fun drinks, to feel festive without alcohol. Have weird sodas/ juices/ etc. shipped from Amazon or wherever.
posted by metasarah at 6:20 AM on November 30, 2020 [8 favorites]
posted by metasarah at 6:20 AM on November 30, 2020 [8 favorites]
What adiabat suggests is great, speaking as another nurse in a covid ICU. I would avoid anything in the "superhero" realm, personally, unless you really know how they'd respond to it. I know it is well intentioned, but a lot of us definitely do not like the hero label.
posted by Pantengliopoli at 10:55 AM on November 30, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by Pantengliopoli at 10:55 AM on November 30, 2020 [5 favorites]
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posted by metahawk at 7:55 PM on November 29, 2020