Can we marry just for health insurance reasons?
October 24, 2020 5:48 AM Subscribe
Both US citizens, both in NY state, both women, and we don't plan to move in together. It's just that one of us is unemployed, and so can no longer afford much-needed health insurance. Would it be legal for us to marry? We anticipate the situation will change in a year or so, and we'll just get divorced then. FWIW we love each other very much. As friends.
Auxiliary question: if it's not illegal for us to marry, then how would we proceed re: keeping all other financial aspects of our lives the same as it is now, i.e. separate? We are already each other's health proxy, and we are fine with whatever "extra" access or rights we might be granted in terms of making decisions about each other's health. But we don't want to mingle finances or assets in any way, and also don't want the inheritance implications that come with marriage. I'm guessing we need a prenup of some kind. What bases should we be covering?
Auxiliary question: if it's not illegal for us to marry, then how would we proceed re: keeping all other financial aspects of our lives the same as it is now, i.e. separate? We are already each other's health proxy, and we are fine with whatever "extra" access or rights we might be granted in terms of making decisions about each other's health. But we don't want to mingle finances or assets in any way, and also don't want the inheritance implications that come with marriage. I'm guessing we need a prenup of some kind. What bases should we be covering?
Yeah, find out if "domestic partners" are eligible for your health insurance.
posted by mareli at 7:03 AM on October 24, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by mareli at 7:03 AM on October 24, 2020 [2 favorites]
Just in case you don't know, NY has a no-deductible "essential plan" that costs no more than $20/month; a household of one can earn up to $25,500 and qualify for it.
posted by metasarah at 7:06 AM on October 24, 2020 [7 favorites]
posted by metasarah at 7:06 AM on October 24, 2020 [7 favorites]
Yeah I lost my job in NY in April and was able to get insurance through the state insurance exchange for $40/month including dental and vision.
posted by showbiz_liz at 7:30 AM on October 24, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by showbiz_liz at 7:30 AM on October 24, 2020 [3 favorites]
About those other routes, my employer requires a marriage license to add a spouse and in the case of domestic partners, proof that you do live together. A few years back they did an audit and found lots of non-qualifying dependents on their books. It's not worth trying to skirt those rules since you could get fired and be required to pay back any health care costs.
First step is talking to a lawyer and signing a prenup with things outlined above. Inheritance may not be as easy to handle as the rest of the issues unless you both already have wills or file new ones. But maybe NY makes it easy - the lawyer will know. In my case, if I want someone besides my spouse as the beneficiary on my retirement account or employer provided life insurance, my spouse has to sign something acknowledging that.
One thing I would be sure to ask the lawyer about is debt. If either of you have student loans or any other debt, does being married make the other one responsible for that debt? What about debt incurred during the marriage?
posted by soelo at 7:43 AM on October 24, 2020 [11 favorites]
First step is talking to a lawyer and signing a prenup with things outlined above. Inheritance may not be as easy to handle as the rest of the issues unless you both already have wills or file new ones. But maybe NY makes it easy - the lawyer will know. In my case, if I want someone besides my spouse as the beneficiary on my retirement account or employer provided life insurance, my spouse has to sign something acknowledging that.
One thing I would be sure to ask the lawyer about is debt. If either of you have student loans or any other debt, does being married make the other one responsible for that debt? What about debt incurred during the marriage?
posted by soelo at 7:43 AM on October 24, 2020 [11 favorites]
Truly, if your friend is low income she may be able to get better health insurance from the exchange than you have though your job. Before going down the significant road of marriage, she should go to the New York Health Insurance Exchange and figure out what her options are. Open enrollment runs through at least December, and even if it wasn’t open enrollment season, losing a job is a qualifying event.
posted by rockindata at 8:55 AM on October 24, 2020 [10 favorites]
posted by rockindata at 8:55 AM on October 24, 2020 [10 favorites]
I lived in NYC with my at the time girlfriend who lost her job. We got a domestic partnership whose entire purpose was essentially letting her get on my healthcare plan. It was easy to get, and, when we eventually broke up, very easy to get rid of (though I let her stay on my healthcare for a while longer before we eventually got rid of it). Call your health insurance and see if this is an option for you, much easier (low-risk) than marriage->divorce.
posted by wooh at 8:59 AM on October 24, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by wooh at 8:59 AM on October 24, 2020 [1 favorite]
I'm a justice of the peace and perform weddings in my state and this is technically fraud. I am not saying "Don't do it" but the direct answer to "Is this legal." is "No." However, just like marrying people for citizenship purposes, I think it's a thing that many people would find falls within their moral compass and if you asked me personally I'd say "Go for it"
That said, if you've decided the other routes aren't for you, the way to do this is check the legal inheritance laws in your state (i.e. check to make sure that is still accurate) and then make sure you both have wills that outline what you want done. And yes, extra double check the debt situation. Realistically, this is a thing that can work, but it can have super weird effects on, say, family dynamics sometimes. This may or may not be a thing you care about, but I got married at sort of an "art wedding" (long story) and it made my parents, who I did not think had any special feelings about such things, be very weird towards me for a while. I assume this is obvious to you but there are many people who would not want to date a married person, even someone married in the fashion you are proposing.
But back to your original ask, there is nothing about being married that says you have to intermingle your finances (the same is not true about your taxes -- I did not file taxes with my husband but that was technically fraud also) or really live together but it can be a red flag for people who are trying to ferret out people trying to game the system.
posted by jessamyn at 9:07 AM on October 24, 2020 [12 favorites]
That said, if you've decided the other routes aren't for you, the way to do this is check the legal inheritance laws in your state (i.e. check to make sure that is still accurate) and then make sure you both have wills that outline what you want done. And yes, extra double check the debt situation. Realistically, this is a thing that can work, but it can have super weird effects on, say, family dynamics sometimes. This may or may not be a thing you care about, but I got married at sort of an "art wedding" (long story) and it made my parents, who I did not think had any special feelings about such things, be very weird towards me for a while. I assume this is obvious to you but there are many people who would not want to date a married person, even someone married in the fashion you are proposing.
But back to your original ask, there is nothing about being married that says you have to intermingle your finances (the same is not true about your taxes -- I did not file taxes with my husband but that was technically fraud also) or really live together but it can be a red flag for people who are trying to ferret out people trying to game the system.
posted by jessamyn at 9:07 AM on October 24, 2020 [12 favorites]
Check your local laws concerning property, too. You may not have any real property to worry about, but I owned a house that I was selling to my ex-dude, and we discovered that even thought I'd bought it before I married my wife, in our state it was marital property, so she had to sign off on her interest in it. She was happy to do so, but it was another issue to consider.
And Jessamyn is right, you'll need to file taxes together for this year, even if you file married-filing separately (which again, isn't hard, but it's a base to tag).
posted by joycehealy at 9:48 AM on October 24, 2020 [1 favorite]
And Jessamyn is right, you'll need to file taxes together for this year, even if you file married-filing separately (which again, isn't hard, but it's a base to tag).
posted by joycehealy at 9:48 AM on October 24, 2020 [1 favorite]
I would absolutely do a mock run of taxes as married, both filing jointly and separately, to make sure this will not end up costing you more than insurance savings. This is a thing you cannot keep financially separate, and for some people it makes a painful difference in tax calculations.
posted by Lyn Never at 11:22 AM on October 24, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by Lyn Never at 11:22 AM on October 24, 2020 [5 favorites]
Prenup.
don't want the inheritance implications that come with marriage
Updated wills after marriage.
State law can affect things. For a lawyer I'd go to someone who specializes in LGTBQ family law.
posted by yohko at 12:40 PM on October 24, 2020
don't want the inheritance implications that come with marriage
Updated wills after marriage.
State law can affect things. For a lawyer I'd go to someone who specializes in LGTBQ family law.
posted by yohko at 12:40 PM on October 24, 2020
Things change fast but as recently as a few years ago, employers could have different coverage rates for spouses vs domestic partners.
posted by Jon_Evil at 2:50 PM on October 24, 2020
posted by Jon_Evil at 2:50 PM on October 24, 2020
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posted by Jungo at 6:59 AM on October 24, 2020 [1 favorite]