Best speeches/ monologues/ rants of all time!
September 17, 2020 11:25 PM   Subscribe

I just saw a Kahl Drogo/ Daenerys Meme and immediately had to think of that insane megalomaniac speech Khal Drogo gave where he promised Daenerys to take over the world for her. What are some of the greatest and grandest (fictional) rants/ speeches/ monologues in history? One I also love, although from the opposite end of the spectrum, would be th No Cape! monologue from the Incredibles.
posted by SweetLiesOfBokonon to Media & Arts (44 answers total) 21 users marked this as a favorite
 
Best answer: George C. Scott's monologue in the 1970 film Patton, as General Patton, was based on notes taken by a number of people of a standard speech, and offhand comments, the real Patton gave to different audiences of soldiers in 1944. The film won an academy award and was, apparently, repeatedly watched, and shown to guests, by then-President Nixon in the White House.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 11:44 PM on September 17, 2020 [3 favorites]


The St Crispin's Day speech in William Shakespeare's history play Henry V, Act IV Scene iii, that ends with:

"And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.
posted by Homer42 at 11:45 PM on September 17, 2020 [10 favorites]


Best answer: Possibly the greatest monologue in all of anime is the "I Love War" speech from Hellsing Ultimate.
posted by J.K. Seazer at 12:06 AM on September 18, 2020 [2 favorites]


Best answer: Ned Beatty in Network: "You have meddled with the primal forces of nature, Mr. Beale....". There's a minute or so of setup in this clip.
posted by thelonius at 12:12 AM on September 18, 2020 [3 favorites]


Best answer: the lemons speech from portal2
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 1:15 AM on September 18, 2020 [3 favorites]




There are some good ones in The West Wing, but one that stands out is Martin Sheen as the president, who's portrayed as a devout Catholic throughout the show, ranting at God - culminating with cursing in Latin - in the second season finale. They won an Emmy for that episode. Clip with subtitles for the Latin.
posted by automatronic at 1:45 AM on September 18, 2020 [6 favorites]


Best answer: Ezekiel 25:17 “The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish...”
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 2:09 AM on September 18, 2020 [2 favorites]


Best answer: Russel Crowe - My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, from Gladiator
posted by automatronic at 2:30 AM on September 18, 2020 [2 favorites]


Best answer: Another good West Wing one: when the President stands, nobody sits
posted by crocomancer at 2:36 AM on September 18, 2020 [2 favorites]


Shea Wigham's tent-storming sermon as the revivalist minister in True Detective, the full unedited version:

https://amp.reddit.com/r/Frisson/comments/7bqau5/video_amen_cut_scene_from_true_detective_shea/
posted by runincircles at 3:58 AM on September 18, 2020 [1 favorite]


Best answer: “Great moments are born from great opportunities,” from Miracle.
posted by kevinbelt at 3:59 AM on September 18, 2020


Best answer: Matt Damon's "Why shouldn't I work for the NSA?" speech from Good Will Hunting
posted by guessthis at 4:02 AM on September 18, 2020 [3 favorites]


Johnny Mnemonic (Keanu Reeves) wants room service!

This movie is terrible... absolutely terrible... and this scene made the whole terrible experience worthwhile. I'm not sure how much it holds its own without the preceding 2/3rds of terrible to create a contextual terrible tension for this rant to break.

What I do remember, is me in a mostly empty theater nearly rolling on the gross movie theater floor in laughter, realizing that he was speaking for all of us watching and that someone was in on the joke.
posted by kokaku at 4:14 AM on September 18, 2020 [1 favorite]


Best answer: You can't handle the truth.
posted by evilmomlady at 4:44 AM on September 18, 2020 [3 favorites]


Jane The Virgin Season 5 premier, Jane’s 7 minute monologue. Epic.
posted by Sassyfras at 5:58 AM on September 18, 2020


John Belushi in Animal House - Bluto's Big Speech
posted by maxg94 at 6:02 AM on September 18, 2020 [5 favorites]


Best answer: I was quite impressed with this monologue from Edward G. Robinson in the film Double Indemnity. He plays an insurance company inspector, and his boss thinks a client has committed suicide. Robinson is telling his boss exactly why he's flat-out wrong.

You've heard of people saying actors would be captivating just "reading a phone book" - Robinson is making a recitation of statistics about suicide just as captivating.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:14 AM on September 18, 2020 [3 favorites]


Best answer: Malcolm Tucker's Epic Rant (one of many) [NSFW language]
posted by chavenet at 6:16 AM on September 18, 2020 [1 favorite]


Best answer: Off the top of my head, loved this rant from Better Call Saul.
posted by bitteschoen at 6:18 AM on September 18, 2020


Best answer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_QSJyJaeD4

The President's speech from Independence Day.
posted by skittlekicks at 6:20 AM on September 18, 2020 [1 favorite]


Best answer: Independence Day, president's speech before the attack launched against the aliens

edit: jinx!
posted by misanthropicsarah at 6:24 AM on September 18, 2020 [1 favorite]


I love the "inches" speech from Any Given Sunday. Here is a video of the speech overlaid with a video of people rowing. Speech starts about 50s in.
posted by hepta at 6:25 AM on September 18, 2020




The Devil Wears Prada, Cerulean Blue.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 6:45 AM on September 18, 2020 [8 favorites]


James Spaders One More Time monologue from Blacklist. Not grand, not dramatic, not ranting & raving, just a man not yet ready to die.
posted by wwax at 6:45 AM on September 18, 2020


My favorite one is Margie's speech at the end of Fargo: "And here you are. And it's a beautiful day." Devastating in its understated delivery.

There's a near-exhaustive list of speeches and monologues in pop culture, all categorized by type and subtype, on TV Tropes if you want to get very nerdy about it. The specific category you're looking for may be Rousing Speech but check out some of the others too, like Heroic Motive Speech.
posted by MiraK at 7:37 AM on September 18, 2020 [4 favorites]


Best answer: Robert Shaw's Indianapolis monologue from Jaws
posted by BozoBurgerBonanza at 7:57 AM on September 18, 2020 [1 favorite]


Best answer: Alec Baldwin from Malice on if he has a God complex.
posted by Fukiyama at 8:36 AM on September 18, 2020 [1 favorite]


Don Draper's Carousel Pitch.

"The pain from an old wound." Damn.

[Edited to add: 7 defining pitches from Mad Men]
posted by adamrice at 8:44 AM on September 18, 2020






Best answer: Am I really the first to mention Braveheart?

And then there's the even better speech Aragorn gives to the troops before galloping into the horde of orcs entering Mordor. I choke up every time because I am a sap.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:01 AM on September 18, 2020 [3 favorites]


I don't know if this is fiction or not, but Susan's 'snakes and rats' rant from the finale of the first season of Survivor will always be a favorite of mine.
posted by Mchelly at 10:18 AM on September 18, 2020 [2 favorites]


Posting real quick-like before I change my mind (NSFW):
Orange Is The New Black : Piper's panties speech
posted by i_mean_come_on_now at 11:35 AM on September 18, 2020


Best answer: I hate America, Louis
posted by babelfish at 12:50 PM on September 18, 2020 [1 favorite]


As a teenager, I used to deliver bits of Opium Dens from Glass Menagerie when I was asked where I was going.
posted by jordemort at 1:53 PM on September 18, 2020


Best answer: Negan's introductory speech in The Walking Dead. The anticipation was intense, and the speech delivered.
https://decider.com/2018/12/27/the-walking-dead-negan-cursing-uncensored/
posted by Occula at 3:48 PM on September 18, 2020


Best answer: Steve Martin at his absolute wit's end in "Planes,Trains, and Automobiles"

<a href=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7z5wJZ7UgY
posted by Ginesthoi at 4:23 PM on September 18, 2020


Best answer: Art Carney's heart-rending speech as a department-store Santa Claus in the Twilight Zone episode "Night of the Meek."
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 5:29 PM on September 18, 2020 [1 favorite]


Lucky's speech from Waiting for Godot
posted by diodotos at 6:04 PM on September 18, 2020


Best answer: I dare you not to cry with M'Lynn at her daughter's funeral in Steel Magnolias (1989).
posted by TrishaU at 2:55 PM on September 19, 2020 [2 favorites]


Best answer: YouTube link

The need for a higher purpose in your country might be an ingrained thing with in humans
posted by fatcat87 at 8:59 AM on September 20, 2020




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