How the hell do I self-isolate from my partner?
March 31, 2020 10:26 AM Subscribe
Having been working from home and isolating in my apartment with my partner. Partner has come down with cold symptoms and is staying home from work. How am I supposed to follow isolation procedures from them in a one-bedroom apartment with limited supplies? Is it even worth bothering?
Of course neither of us will be leaving here for 14 days. We have plenty of food. But following official recommendations for isolating from the sick person barely seems possible in a one-bedroom apartment.
Needless to say I do not have a separate bedroom or bathroom for my partner to use. I guess I could sleep in a chair or on the living room floor. Nor do I have face masks and gloves to wear every time I go near them. These things were sold out in my town by the first time I heard the word "coronavirus". And I do have disinfectants but a limited supply, and not sure how I could even get more without breaking quarantine and leaving the house, as everything online is backordered for weeks.
Is it even worth it to try to avoid contagion from a partner that I've been in close quarters with for the past 2 weeks anyway? We are both around 30 and healthy, our biggest concern has always been infecting others rather than getting sick ourselves, but I am very concerned with doing the right thing and not causing any additional strain to society or the healthcare system.
Of course neither of us will be leaving here for 14 days. We have plenty of food. But following official recommendations for isolating from the sick person barely seems possible in a one-bedroom apartment.
Needless to say I do not have a separate bedroom or bathroom for my partner to use. I guess I could sleep in a chair or on the living room floor. Nor do I have face masks and gloves to wear every time I go near them. These things were sold out in my town by the first time I heard the word "coronavirus". And I do have disinfectants but a limited supply, and not sure how I could even get more without breaking quarantine and leaving the house, as everything online is backordered for weeks.
Is it even worth it to try to avoid contagion from a partner that I've been in close quarters with for the past 2 weeks anyway? We are both around 30 and healthy, our biggest concern has always been infecting others rather than getting sick ourselves, but I am very concerned with doing the right thing and not causing any additional strain to society or the healthcare system.
Did you read this NYT essay?
”What I learned when my husband got coronavirus”
I feel for you! I’ll be in the same boat if/when my husband gets it. Best practices seems to be sick person should sleep in bedroom and stay in there, you should disinfect bathroom and things they touch. I hope your partner gets better soon.
posted by areaperson at 11:12 AM on March 31, 2020 [2 favorites]
”What I learned when my husband got coronavirus”
I feel for you! I’ll be in the same boat if/when my husband gets it. Best practices seems to be sick person should sleep in bedroom and stay in there, you should disinfect bathroom and things they touch. I hope your partner gets better soon.
posted by areaperson at 11:12 AM on March 31, 2020 [2 favorites]
he should be wearing whatever kind of mask you can find or make, from what I understand. Anything that helps droplets from his face not squirt into the air around him when he breathes or sneezes/coughs will be helpful, even if you can't find a medical mask. It will also help him not touch his own face and transfer droplets to surfaces.
posted by fingersandtoes at 11:43 AM on March 31, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by fingersandtoes at 11:43 AM on March 31, 2020 [4 favorites]
From the CDC: Recommended precautions for household members, intimate partners, and caregivers in a nonhealthcare setting
Related resources: 5 Steps To Clean And Disinfect Your Home (Singapore NEA) (for COVID-19), Cleaning and Disinfection Recommendations (US CDC) (for COVID-19), COVID-19: decontamination in non-healthcare settings (Public Health England), List N: Disinfectants for Use Against SARS-CoV-2 (US EPA)
How long does the coronavirus live on surfaces? (USA Today), How long does coronavirus survive on different surfaces? (Guardian), How Long Will Coronavirus Live on Surfaces or in the Air Around You? (NYT)
Respiratory health for better COVID-19 outcomes (NECSI, Mar. 16, 2020)
Related FPP: Asks for masks (includes instructions for sewing and DIY masks)
Related AskMes: Handling family member with possible COVID-19 (advice for risk assessment and handling in-home isolation?), How does quarantine work when you live in an apartment (We live in an apartment... Looking for sources rather than guesswork.), Actions to increase likelihood of mild covid19 recovery? (peer-reviewed (or at least clinician-generated) studies)
via the MeFi Wiki Disaster Planning & Recovery page, Medical/Pandemic section
posted by katra at 11:55 AM on March 31, 2020 [5 favorites]
Related resources: 5 Steps To Clean And Disinfect Your Home (Singapore NEA) (for COVID-19), Cleaning and Disinfection Recommendations (US CDC) (for COVID-19), COVID-19: decontamination in non-healthcare settings (Public Health England), List N: Disinfectants for Use Against SARS-CoV-2 (US EPA)
How long does the coronavirus live on surfaces? (USA Today), How long does coronavirus survive on different surfaces? (Guardian), How Long Will Coronavirus Live on Surfaces or in the Air Around You? (NYT)
Respiratory health for better COVID-19 outcomes (NECSI, Mar. 16, 2020)
Related FPP: Asks for masks (includes instructions for sewing and DIY masks)
Related AskMes: Handling family member with possible COVID-19 (advice for risk assessment and handling in-home isolation?), How does quarantine work when you live in an apartment (We live in an apartment... Looking for sources rather than guesswork.), Actions to increase likelihood of mild covid19 recovery? (peer-reviewed (or at least clinician-generated) studies)
via the MeFi Wiki Disaster Planning & Recovery page, Medical/Pandemic section
posted by katra at 11:55 AM on March 31, 2020 [5 favorites]
Hi. I've been at home since 12 March. I was symptomatic for COVID and tested, and am awaiting test results. My husband and I are not sleeping in the same room. We are maintaining physical distance from one another and using different towels. We have one bathroom. I am washing my hands.
posted by DarlingBri at 12:06 PM on March 31, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by DarlingBri at 12:06 PM on March 31, 2020 [3 favorites]
If I were a healthy 30 year old, it absolutely would not be worth it to me to try to isolate from my partner in a one bedroom apartment. I'm nearly 30 years older than that and I have no intention of trying to prevent contagion if someone in my household gets symptoms before me. He could easily have already infected you before he even showed symptoms. And even if he hasn't, in that small a space, your chances of successfully isolating yourself seem pretty small. The extra stress and hassle of the extreme measures you would have to take, the constant vigilance - that could easily be worse than just getting sick. Yes, if you get sick there's some chance you might have to be tested, or seen by a doctor, or admitted to a hospital, and that puts a little additional strain on the system. But you don't know that you will need any of those things (and given the statistics, you know hospitalization is pretty unlikely at your age), you don't know that your partner even has COVID-19, and you don't know if isolating from him will even work to keep you from getting what he has. And it's not as if preventing yourself from getting COVID-19 now means you'll never get it. Given all that, I wouldn't even try for isolation.
posted by Redstart at 12:38 PM on March 31, 2020 [11 favorites]
posted by Redstart at 12:38 PM on March 31, 2020 [11 favorites]
Just to be clear, I mean I wouldn't even try to isolate from your partner. Obviously, you should be isolating from other people, as you plan to do.
posted by Redstart at 12:40 PM on March 31, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by Redstart at 12:40 PM on March 31, 2020 [2 favorites]
This entire COVID-19 situation seems to be bringing out the catastrophizing nature lurking inside everyone, leading to a lot of big all-or-nothing thinking about behaviors and actions. In reality, everything we talk about around exposure and isolation ... it's all a matter of degree and relative risk.
You will make yourself crazy if you freak out about maintaining complete isolation from someone else you are sharing a 1B/1Ba apartment with. It can't be done. Whatever he has, you've probably already been exposed to, and your body is working now trying to fight it off. Please give your body good sleep and the best food you can while it's doing its thing.
The key now is to do what you can *within reason* to keep yourself well while caring for him as necessary, and stay emotionally/mentally sound through this difficult time.
Think about it this way: you probably *will* get sick too, but you can work towards postponing your sickness until he is well, so you are not both sick at once. You don't have to be perfect at this, you don't have to be sterile at all times like you're in a bubble. Just do what you can to stay well as long as possible to give him time to recover before you start feeling it.
posted by mccxxiii at 1:16 PM on March 31, 2020 [19 favorites]
You will make yourself crazy if you freak out about maintaining complete isolation from someone else you are sharing a 1B/1Ba apartment with. It can't be done. Whatever he has, you've probably already been exposed to, and your body is working now trying to fight it off. Please give your body good sleep and the best food you can while it's doing its thing.
The key now is to do what you can *within reason* to keep yourself well while caring for him as necessary, and stay emotionally/mentally sound through this difficult time.
Think about it this way: you probably *will* get sick too, but you can work towards postponing your sickness until he is well, so you are not both sick at once. You don't have to be perfect at this, you don't have to be sterile at all times like you're in a bubble. Just do what you can to stay well as long as possible to give him time to recover before you start feeling it.
posted by mccxxiii at 1:16 PM on March 31, 2020 [19 favorites]
Cold symptoms? Any covid symptoms?
posted by bluedaisy at 3:31 PM on March 31, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by bluedaisy at 3:31 PM on March 31, 2020 [1 favorite]
I tried to do this when my partner was a possible COVID-19 case. I thought I was being super careful, and I still caught what he had. And we had more bedrooms and bathrooms than you do.
posted by medusa at 8:24 PM on March 31, 2020
posted by medusa at 8:24 PM on March 31, 2020
Partner has come down with cold symptoms
Was there an autocorrect here? I’m not sure how you got from "cold" to "covid".
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 10:56 PM on March 31, 2020
Was there an autocorrect here? I’m not sure how you got from "cold" to "covid".
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 10:56 PM on March 31, 2020
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From people I know here doing this (a recent returnee to Hong Kong showed no symptoms but was legally obligated to remain in self-isolation for 14 days and lives with his partner) in a one-bedroom flat:
- the self-isolating person and their partner are wearing masks all the time at home
- they are sterilizing the bathroom with a 1:99 bleach:water solution after each use
- they do not eat together or spend time together to the extent possible; they always stay at least a metre apart
- the self-isolating person sleeps in the bedroom, their partner is on the sofa
- towels and clothing are not being shared; the self-isolating person is not doing any laundry (other than putting their clothes in the machine after their partner opens the door) or leaving the bedroom-bathroom area if at all possible; clothes of the self-isolating person are washed at 90 degrees C
- the partner is now working entirely from home
- all of their groceries and medicines are being delivered or dropped off by friends - this is annoying for them to arrange but vital to reduce transmission risk
- the self-isolating person is reporting in to a doctor every few days and recording their temperature nearly constantly on a spreadsheet
Good luck! Please do everything you can to protect yourself and your partner so you can protect your neighbours, too.
posted by mdonley at 11:07 AM on March 31, 2020 [9 favorites]