Why grandma doesn’t want to play as much anymore
March 1, 2020 5:57 AM Subscribe
I’m looking for resources to help me help my nine-year-old understand how aging is affecting her grandparents.
As my daughter’s grandparents age, I’m wondering about how best to help her understand the changes they are going through. I can tell her that some of them may not seem to be listening to her because their hearing is not as good as hers; I can explain that some of them no longer enjoy going out for a walk because they tire easily. However, I have a harder time explaining why some of them converse only by retelling a handful of stories about their own lives; why some of them have strong body odor; why some of them forget things that are important to my daughter, even if my daughter tells them repeatedly (her age, what grade she’s in at school); or why some of them have difficulty following a story, movies, or books.
I’ve tried making general comments about how people’s bodies and brains change as they grow older, and how that can affect how they move and act, but I’ve kept these explanations vague. The only sources of information I’ve found about the behaviors we’ve noticed are targeted to adults and caretakers. I am looking for resources about growing old that are geared toward children.
As my daughter’s grandparents age, I’m wondering about how best to help her understand the changes they are going through. I can tell her that some of them may not seem to be listening to her because their hearing is not as good as hers; I can explain that some of them no longer enjoy going out for a walk because they tire easily. However, I have a harder time explaining why some of them converse only by retelling a handful of stories about their own lives; why some of them have strong body odor; why some of them forget things that are important to my daughter, even if my daughter tells them repeatedly (her age, what grade she’s in at school); or why some of them have difficulty following a story, movies, or books.
I’ve tried making general comments about how people’s bodies and brains change as they grow older, and how that can affect how they move and act, but I’ve kept these explanations vague. The only sources of information I’ve found about the behaviors we’ve noticed are targeted to adults and caretakers. I am looking for resources about growing old that are geared toward children.
for the memory loss, i found jessie oliveros' the remember balloons quite beautiful and haunting; little lurk (younger than nine) didn't mind it, but i'm not sure it increased little lurk's understanding of grandpa's dementia -- characterized more by his anxieties about where he left his car, his fortune, his important documents, recognizing his wife as his mother or sister, and a strong desire to go home, although he is at home, more than mere forgetfulness -- as not entirely on point. geared to an audience younger than nine, there is no factual explanation about senescence; rather, it illustrates that aspect via metaphor and an empathetic message.
posted by 20 year lurk at 10:38 AM on March 1, 2020
posted by 20 year lurk at 10:38 AM on March 1, 2020
I think you will have more luck looking for resources specifically on memory loss and dementia or Alzheimer’s, rather than just symptoms of normal aging (some hearing loss, tiring more easily). It’s also best not to conflate the two as it can unintentionally lead to ageist stereotyping, which you want to avoid of course!
Your local children’s librarian will be a good resource, but here is a list with a few books that may suit your daughter, depending on her reading level and personality. (Books for older kids are towards the bottom of the list; the ones at the top are meant for preschool to primary).
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 10:52 AM on March 1, 2020 [1 favorite]
Your local children’s librarian will be a good resource, but here is a list with a few books that may suit your daughter, depending on her reading level and personality. (Books for older kids are towards the bottom of the list; the ones at the top are meant for preschool to primary).
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 10:52 AM on March 1, 2020 [1 favorite]
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posted by Kriesa at 10:07 AM on March 1, 2020 [1 favorite]