I'm very skinny, except my stomach/chest. What can I do?

January 25, 2020 8:03 AM

I am a very skinny man who hasn't been to the gym in a while. I haven't had the best diet. I feel like I look like a snake that ate a large animal, skinny with a large chest/stomach. What do I do? I'm a middle aged. Details inside...

I am 5'9 160lbs. I have chicken legs and skinny arms. Poor diet has given me a bit of a belly. All of the men in my family are thin or normally proportioned with a big stomach. I feel like my body is a weird shape. I feel like my body is normal and my limbs are extremely skinny.

I feel like I have two problems that require different solutions. Cutting calories and doing cardio to burn my fat. Lifting weights and increasing calories to bulk up my limbs.

I know that you can't just lose weight in one area (belly). I also know that you can't bulk up while trying to lose weight.

What should I do? I hate looking like a guy that skips leg day.

What should I do with calories? Weights? Cardio?

Thank you

posted by Alvin80 to Health & Fitness (13 answers total)

My reaction is for you not to worry about losing weight. You don't seem particularly concerned about the number on the scale so much as your belly. Building muscle--in your limbs, but also in your core, will help in two aesthetic ways, in addition to the attendant health benefits--you'll potentially have larger limbs and better defined musculature in proportion to your torso, and--more significantly--you'll have more mass in muscle, which can raise your resting metabolism. It's a medium-to-long-term thing.

Do you have a current exercise routine that you like? I feel like a lot of the online advice you see is focused on people who are doing fairly intensive, specialized stuff. A mix of cardio and weights is not at all a bad way to go--I found that keeping consistent on workouts mattered more for me than the specific workouts themselves. It's a different story if you have a specific goal measured by exercise--people who want to improve their half-marathon time, or people who want to deadlift X weight--but if your objective is to just get in better (literal, and recognizing it's subjective) shape, I'd think doing both cardio and weights is a great start. And remember that the scale is one of the less important indicators of progress when you're trying both to reduce fat and increase muscle.
posted by pykrete jungle at 8:24 AM on January 25, 2020 [2 favorites]

I agree about just focusing on getting in shape by building muscle. You may also look in to intermittent fasting to see if that lifestyle suits you. It is supportive of gaining muscle and losing fat. Learning to lift weights will help put on mass, and cleaning up your diet will help change your body composition. Don’t worry about the difference between cutting and bulking just yet. I’m the beginning you’ll see results just from these changes.
posted by elke_wood at 8:35 AM on January 25, 2020

I’m a woman but also have fairly thin limbs and if I put on weight, carry it all around my middle. When I lose weight (or specifically, lose fat), my middle shrinks. So I’d say (assuming no psychological issues that make this problematic), get something like My Fitness Pal and start eating fewer calories, and you’ll probably lose weight around your middle without your limbs getting skinnier. Done well, calorie counting apps can work as a source of long-term education rather than just short-term weight loss - they help you realise what foods will fill you up without being very heavy on calories, encourage you to eat a higher proportion of vegetables etc.

Exercise is also a good thing, a combination of cardio and strength, ideally. It’ll increase your muscle mass all over, which changes your shape and means you burn more calories at rest.

I’m on my phone so no links, but I believe that fat around the middle is particularly bad for you in terms of diabetes and other diseases (try googling visceral fat or apple body shape). So in terms of your overall health, I’d definitely prioritise getting that under control, and then worry about whether you want to bulk your limbs up at a later date (which will happen to a small extent anyway if you’re exercising more).
posted by penguin pie at 8:42 AM on January 25, 2020 [1 favorite]

On my weight journey I've learned that muscle is your best fat burner--the more muscle mass (even though it is denser than fat and, therefore, heavier) you have, the more fat you will burn especially if you build up your big muscles (legs, butt). Core strength is about overall health--a strong core is better for your back, it is better for your digestion, breathing, etc. Cardio is for your heart and lungs so the best exercise program will address all of this. The easiest, cheapest exercise is walking. Walking with good posture works everything. Hold in your stomach, tighten your butt, breath deeply. Make sure you are wearing good, comfortable shoes. I've seen the guys in my weight loss program who do a lot of walking lose their bellies and get great looking legs (and butts!). If you want to work your arms as well, use wrist weights and swing your arms as you walk, or get "Therabands" and do resistance training.

If you want a measurement other than weight to track the improvement in your abs, just get a cloth tape measure (they come in sewing kits usually) and measure your waist in the same spot (do a side bend and use the crease as your marker).

But also, as they say on the commercials, "When starting an exercise program, see your Doctor first" you want to make sure there is nothing else going on--if you haven't had a full physical lately, that is the place to start.
posted by agatha_magatha at 8:46 AM on January 25, 2020

This shape is known as Dad Bod, and there are a number of workouts targeted at changing that shape. Here's a series from Men's Health.
posted by DarlingBri at 8:54 AM on January 25, 2020 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: I wanted to jump back in and state that I have lifted in the past and been able to bulk my arms up. My calves are SUPER resistant to growing
posted by Alvin80 at 9:03 AM on January 25, 2020

While people can't just lose weight in one specific area, they do tend to lose it in areas in the reverse order that they put it on. So, if someone shows weight first in the legs, and then in the face, and then in the arms, for example, when they go to lose it, they'll lose it in the arms, and then the face, and finally the legs. So if your weight tends to go right to your belly, that's likely where you'll start to lose it.
posted by Blue Jello Elf at 9:08 AM on January 25, 2020 [1 favorite]

I also wanted to say lift weights... also try to eat cleanish- that seems to be a big key if you’re trying to deal with a soft spot. And find a good personal trainer to show you a workout. Being strong in some muscles prevents that flabby overspill in other places. For example: did you know smart phone use and tilting the head forward weakens the neck muscles and makes your double chin fall down more? And weak glutes contribute to saddlebags? I would investigate this idea.
posted by catspajammies at 9:26 AM on January 25, 2020

I’ll agree with most of the people here that you don’t need to lose weight, you need to build muscle. When you’re building muscle you may actually need to eat more than you are used to. Your higher caloric intake should include more protein and less junk food. Eating more will feel really weird at first since your main concern is your belly, but if you have a consistent routine of hypertrophy training you’ll probably start to see results pretty quickly.
posted by scantee at 9:40 AM on January 25, 2020 [2 favorites]

This article from Rush University Medical Center seems sensible and comprehensive as well as applicable to your needs.
posted by miaou at 10:16 AM on January 25, 2020

Please see the answers in this similar question from October 2018.

[I posted there, and here I'll add: you mention that you "hate looking like a guy that skips leg day." Be aware that skinny jeans, narrow-cut trousers, or any pants with a sharply tapered leg will highlight that slenderness, and consider making different sartorial choices.]
posted by Iris Gambol at 3:39 PM on January 25, 2020

5'9 / 160lbs is a normal BMI. You just want to shift the distribution of your body weight, not necessarily lose it. Eat lots of lean protein, healthy fats, and veggies, and start a weightlifting program.
posted by erst at 5:19 PM on January 25, 2020 [1 favorite]

If you don't want to look like you skip leg day, then don't skip leg day. Starting Strength and New Rules Of Lifting are both great comprehensive strength training programs that lay out the case for lifting weights and give you a good overview of each of the lifts. Mark Rippetoe (Starting Strength) is a curmudgeon and his viewpoints are pretty set ("Got time/energy for curls? Do another set of squats."), but his program has a sound basis in anatomy and physiology, and it will change your perspective on life. Alwyn Cosgrove (NROL) is a little calmer and his programs are more typical of what tends to be out there (basic lifts plus a good range of assistance exercises), but he makes the same arguments of e.g. why a barbell squat is superior to a leg press. And there's also Stronglifts 5X5, which is a brahifiied version of Starting Strength, which some people like because Medhi is a little more personable.

Point is, pick one of the above, get to a gym, pick up a barbell, and eat more healthy food and less fast food. And don't underestimate the impact of diet on your life. You'll need to eat to power your body through all this; it's easy enough to not eat bread for a few days, but is that really realistic for you? Instead, maybe aim to eat one less slice per day, maybe add a little more lettuce and chick peas to your diet and less deli turkey, maybe one fewer beer per week. Little things like that, so you're not depriving yourself of things you enjoy and you're taking in foods that (hopefully) make you feel better. Like, every time I drive past Burger King I think about how much I love me a Double Whopper with cheese and large ass fries and jumbo strawberry shake, but when I think about how I feel an hour or so after eating all that (greasy, heartburn, nasty breath) it's a lot easier to drive on by.

Just remember that you're doing this so that future you can feel better.
posted by disconnect at 7:05 AM on January 27, 2020