More Good Things

December 11, 2019 10:59 AM

Looking to improve my quality of life by adding more positive rituals/practices/comforts, rather than changing or getting rid of things. What good things are a value add in your life?

I've recently been leaning into the idea of improving my mental/physical health, wellbeing, and daily enjoyment in life by adding positive practices/elements, rather than trying to beat back negative ones. So far, I've found that making more space for good things has been really enjoyable for me, and can have positive outcomes without all the anxiety of focusing on things I should be doing.

For example, I've recently been drinking more herbal tea. This has a lot of positive ripple effects-- less caffeine intake, less mindless snacking, a relaxing evening ritual-- but I'm not focusing my mental energy on those benefits. I'm just drinking more tea, because it's nice.

Another example is this iPhone app I downloaded that identifies pictures of plants and tells you about them. It encourages me to get outside more and take longer and more varied walks, but mostly it's about appreciating nature. Right now, I'm way more interested in something like this than an app pinging me to walk 10k steps and log more exercise minutes.

A few others I've been incorporating lately: lighting candles in the evening, using a meal subscription service, writing in a gratitude journal.

What good things have made an improvement in your life? Could be a purchase, service, or practice as long as the spirit is one of abundance rather than limitation.

posted by lakemarie to Health & Fitness (24 answers total)

I just advised against them for parents of small children on another thread, but I really, really love my weighted blanket. I bought one from Etsy. I also got sheets for my bed that are a soft pink color, which is very relaxing for me (YMMV, of course). Plus a light-up alarm clock with sunrise simulation. Those three things together have made bedtime and getting up much more pleasant.
posted by FencingGal at 11:04 AM on December 11, 2019 [3 favorites]

I started doing a set of push-ups every morning about a year ago and I've found it a useful addition to my life. I've also started writing postcards to assorted acquaintances roughly every other day and have experienced that as connecting.
posted by PMdixon at 11:09 AM on December 11, 2019 [1 favorite]

So, I'm kind of going to be doing exactly this all next year (it's the year I turn 50, some good things are on the horizon after a long time without and it just seems like A Thing To Do). Here is what I'll be doing.

* Somehow over the years I have acquired about seven different "guided journals" meant for self-reflection, that I've not really ever used. I've decided on a weekly practice to delve into them every Sunday night.

* I also bought a plain page-a-day Moleskin planner that I'm going to be using as a daily record instead; when I get home from work it'll just be a place to jot down the events of the day.

* If you knit or crochet - I'm going to be making a "temperature tracker" project. The idea is that you get yarn in a range of colors and assign each color to a range of temperature. Then every day you look up what the high temperature was that day and knit a row in that color. I'll be making a scarf (I tried a blanket a couple years back but that was taking too long and I let it fall by the wayside).

These are all going to be prompts to help me pay attention and get me to self-reflect more; I've noticed that that helps me notice the other good things that are already around me as it is.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:12 AM on December 11, 2019 [9 favorites]

All the things you listed are thing I do, too! I also:

Put on ambient background music all day (I work from home). I like joyful acoustic guitar without lyrics, like Yasmin Williams or Alan Gogol. It makes me feel so good!

Continue to nurture more and more houseplants. I love paying attention to what each one needs, rearranging and turning and pruning and fertilizing. They make our home beautiful.

My dog brings so much joy to my life! Like a naturalist app, he gets me out on walks.

I volunteer at a community garden once a week - I love being outside, getting to know the other regulars, and getting to know the plants! (We're restoring the neglected native plant section.)

When we cook, we always make a double portion (4 portions instead of 2) so we have a wonderful lunch the next day.

I've started baking homemade sourdough bread once a week. I LOVE having fresh hot delicious bread!

We are part of a CSA and I love getting seasonal, local produce and knowing that I am supporting . small organic farm. I also love the challenge of figuring out what to cook with it.

I keep really nice hand cream on my bedside and love the ritual of taking of my jewelry (bracelet, earring, rings other than wedding band) before bed and massaging the cream into my hands.
posted by amaire at 11:14 AM on December 11, 2019 [15 favorites]

I work from home so this might not be an option for you, but I got into the habit of showering before bed instead of when I wake up and it's been fantastic.

There's something about going to be totally clean that has helped me sleep better. No more getting into bed sweaty from the day in July and having a warm shower in December (in Wisconsin!) makes the bedtime ritual so much nicer.

I also recommend if you have the means to make extra (of a meal, cookies, whatever) and share with your neighbors. Building community through generosity is a really nice feeling.
posted by Twicketface at 11:29 AM on December 11, 2019 [7 favorites]

About five years ago, I started flossing my teeth every night -- partly for improvements in my gum health, but mostly for my heart (surprisingly, inflamed gums are linked to heart disease). I also do WaterPiking every night, but that might be overkill. I used to have a lot of bleeding whenever I got my teeth cleaned at the dentist, but now the bleeding is much reduced.

I can't say that flossing has really had any direct benefit to my mental health, but it does make me feel like I'm doing something to improve my well-being.
posted by JD Sockinger at 11:29 AM on December 11, 2019 [3 favorites]

I watch the sunset whenever possible and check out the moon before bed (if you are an early riser you could try catching the sunrise too).

Eat clementines and pomegranites mindfully - enjoying the texture/smell/colour and not trying to get the pomegranite seeds out in the most efficient way but just enjoying the mindful snacking experience.

Agreed on showering before bed and having a wind down routine.

Reading good books versus reading online all the time.

Gardening/tending plants.
posted by lafemma at 11:35 AM on December 11, 2019 [1 favorite]

Finding a good church and attending every week made the biggest difference in my life, if you’re spiritually inclined or even casually so, it’s nice to be in a positive atmosphere of worship every week.
posted by katypickle at 12:16 PM on December 11, 2019 [7 favorites]

If you’re in a good position to get a dog, a dog can give you:
-regular exercise in the fresh air and sunshine
-physical affection
-laughter
-social connection
-a chance to feel good about yourself for having done what you ought once you’ve met all his needs for the day
-opportunities to observe the natural world around you as you wait for him to do his business
-absorbing new hobbies if you get into dog sports, trick training, etc.
-an organizing principle for your life
posted by HotToddy at 12:29 PM on December 11, 2019 [8 favorites]

This is lovely and I am getting new ideas from all of you. Just a few to add for now:

I try reading a new poem every day (from a library book, or a poem of the day email from the Poetry Foundation).

I have felt more isolated in this world of social media, so I have started actually calling a friend or family member each night when I walk my dog. It has been really refreshing.

And related to that, going outside and being around trees every day, if possible.

I add lemon slices or berries to my water. It makes it feel a hint more refreshing and is very nice. We also brew herbal teas in bulk and keep them in a pitcher in the fridge for a nice glass of evening tea.

Carry a small packet of tissues and other care items in your bag. Not only are they helpful to you, but I have found joy in sharing with people in need around me. (Someone next to me is coughing, offer them a cough drop, etc., we have a conversation).
posted by anya32 at 12:40 PM on December 11, 2019 [5 favorites]

I’m also trying to add little things I can do everyday that will add up over time.
- Most important at the moment is ACTIVE REST- My neck is sore and this activity helps a lot.
-take my supplements, vitamin d, b vitamins
-stretch
- plank for 30 seconds
-read a book before bed
- hydrate
-eat a pickle (anti-inflammatory and I like them)
-skin care routine
-groom my nails
- tick something off my to do list
- try to get plenty of sleep
- read inspiring bits of magazines like women’s health
- connect with someone (send an email, make a call, do my Christmas cards)
- have a show I’m watching
- exercise of some kind
posted by catspajammies at 1:30 PM on December 11, 2019 [6 favorites]

Put a pitcher of water in the fridge so I always have very cold water to drink.

Sometimes I will buy bagged ice to give my husband and I a break from having to fill the ice trays a hundred-frigging times a day. It feels so indulgent!

I always wanted to meditate but I never seemed to be in the mood. So I set myself up a lovely little meditation altar to make it more appealing. I covered an old end table with a cloth, added a "hand of Buddha" shaped candle holder and a Buddha face sculpture on the wall. (I am not Buddhist but the imagery has always made me feel very peaceful.) I added a stand for my tablet so I can watch/listen to guided meditation videos or music if I want. And I purchased a small singing bowl which is something I have wanted for a long time. Plus a cushion on the floor, a yoga mat, a deck of yoga cards with positions and routines, etc.

I know you don't need a single thing in order to meditate, but having an appealing space filled with items I enjoy interacting with has helped me to want to do it. My little space is in the room where I spend most of my time so I see it often and it draws me over to sit.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 1:44 PM on December 11, 2019 [5 favorites]

I have some lovely red tulips in a vase on the windowsill near my desk and some white fairy lights near the flowers and plants I have on the window sill. I don't buy flowers often but notice that I take great pleasure from their beauty every single day that they are in bloom.

As detailed elsewhere on MF, in October I bought myself some high quality flannel bedsheets while in the US and they have made going to bed a warm and luxurious experience compared to my usual bedsheets. They contribute to a sense of well-being and abundance that is delicious, because my mental default is scarcity and deprivation.

Thank you for the question, OP, and many thanks for the responses, which I am following with great interest.
posted by Bella Donna at 1:52 PM on December 11, 2019 [2 favorites]

For vagina-having people: These things feel good and improve kegel strength.

This planner has improved my artistic practice.
posted by shadygrove at 2:54 PM on December 11, 2019

I invested a week or so into a big declutter of my home. Having clear surfaces and a place for everything makes me feel more relaxed.

Also, a set of matching hangers for my closet. I was surprised at how that one little thing made such a big difference in how I felt about my clothes.

I also have set a tech curfew for myself. I’m not saying technology is evil, I’m just saying that after 10 o’clock I find other things to do. I like having that women in my life to feel like I am not spiralling into a YouTube black hole every night.
posted by ficbot at 2:59 PM on December 11, 2019 [2 favorites]

I have like a bazillion of those microwave rice socks. I go to sleep with two of them at night during the winter and it is so delightful.
posted by eirias at 5:17 PM on December 11, 2019

A huge feel-good thing for me is physical exercise that involves easy, graceful motion (or at least moments of ease and grace; it's fine if it's mixed with clumsy attempts to do something better.) Skiing and skating are the main ways I get it. I also felt it when I took riding lessons. Dancing probably does something similar for people who know how to dance. Probably other people get it from motorcycle riding. Renting ice skates or roller blades a few times is a pretty low-cost way to try out that kind of thing.

Growing things is also very satisfying. You could grow a couple of herb plants on a windowsill, or get a houseplant or some flowers or lettuce or whatever to stick in a bed or container outside.

I recently started getting ebooks for my phone in addition to reading a lot of paper books and I find that reading a book during those waiting-for-something times often feels like a better thing to do than playing a game or browsing the web.

Cooking foods you really like is good. For me, working on finding the best recipe and perfecting the way I make it adds to the enjoyment. If you're working on a long term project even the failures are part of your overall progress.

Perhaps the single best thing for me is going for a walk every day, in all weather.
posted by Redstart at 5:57 PM on December 11, 2019 [2 favorites]

I started a habit of using lip balm and hand lotion every time I use the restroom. It does an excellent job of staving off chapped lips and dry/cracking knuckles, especially in the winter. I splurge a little bit on good quality and good smelling / tasting stuff, so the moments taken to enjoy that are nice little pick-me-ups.
posted by Sparky Buttons at 8:01 PM on December 11, 2019

Similar to Sparky Buttons, I do hand cream and thick lip balm before bed every night, along with a roll-on lavender essential oil on my pulse points.
posted by ellieBOA at 1:09 AM on December 12, 2019 [2 favorites]

What I really find useful is when I get ready for bed as early as possible into the evening (i.e. brush my teeth, wash my face, get into my jammies) and then chill for an hour or so.

It's so much nicer than leaving that till it's time to go to bed. I find that by then I am too sleepy and I rush through the routine. Doing it at a relaxed pace earlier in the evening sets my body into 'relax-mode' a good few hours before actual bedtime.

Like other MeFites I also keep a nice moisturiser beside the bed and putting it on my hands right before I go to sleep.

I have a coffee subscription. It has had a big impact on my coffee-buying habit - I barely buy coffee to-go anymore because I know I have nicer coffee waiting for me at home and the office.
posted by unicorn chaser at 3:21 AM on December 12, 2019 [6 favorites]

Put on an audiobook before getting into bed. Storytime for adults!

Improv - yeah, for certain people (creatives willing to be nervous at first), this can bring such such joy.

Mindfulness in eating, walking, breathing.
posted by storybored at 12:29 PM on December 12, 2019

I bought myself a moisturizer with spf whose texture and smell I liked. It's actually colorless, but I added some bb cream to it, since I liked it a bit tinted. I don't put it on every morning and I am religious about not expecting myself to put it on every morning, but it feels nice and cool and refreshing and I usually put it on.

In the evening, I have micellar water and little cotton application pads. It feels nice to just wipe over my face quickly.

I bought myself a water flosser which increased my flossing a lot.

I started to do r/sketchdaily. I do not actually sketch every day-- but you can make up missed drawings (automatically up to a month, but you can always ask the mods to update your streak further back if needed). I have produced over 600 drawings this way. I wish I could find something equivalent for writing.

I've been giving myself a little more leeway on spending when it comes to art supplies. Not a lot, because art supplies add up really quickly, but my 600 drawings as mentioned have restored my belief that art is actually something important and healthy for me.

I listen to educational lectures I enjoy during my commute. It makes traffic much more bearable.

I deleted internet browsing from my smartphone. My question history hear on AskMe is a testimony to my resulting unending appetite for ebooks, which I get through quickly because I read them during all the dead moments of life and there's a lot of those. I've been finding it hard to get enough ebooks, so I re-downloaded duolingo and do that during dead time also.

I bought myself a beautiful line a day diary. I do not fill it out every day, but I try to fill it out every week at least, catching up on entries.

I read the book The Happiness Project. I then utterly failed at following through with my own Happiness Project-- I found that her format, while inspiring, didn't quite work for me (maybe a bit too intense). But I did download Loop Habit Tracker, and each month I've been adding a habit, and it's been building up cumulatively to a lot more explicitly aware personal growth. (I find it important to give myself slack and leeway explicitly when setting up the habit, and ones that feel like a stretch I trial for a week and only add if the week went well and I feel positively about continuing. Being much more careful about the commitments I make to myself has been good for me).

I also downloaded Do It Tomorrow, the app with the most satisfying scratching-out sound and graphic I have found yet (be aware that it's no longer being maintained). When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I list tasks there, prioritize by swooping a whole bunch off to "tomorrow", and then scratch off what is left.
posted by Cozybee at 9:13 AM on December 14, 2019 [5 favorites]

Eat more fruits and vegetables - especially vegetables.

So much of how we think about food in this culture is "eat less" - less fat, less carbs, less salt, less eggs, less dairy. Really focusing on things I want to eat MORE of has been great for my health and made me very happy about all the vegetables I'm adding into my diet. Frozen asparagus and even frozen brussels sprouts go great in morning scrambles. I needed to use up some pumpkin and made muffins - FULL of Vitamin A. And you can eat a ridiculous amount of watermelon without piling on a bunch of empty calories.

Find out about all the delicious ways to bring those green and orange and purple and bright red morsels of flavor into your life, and have fun trying them out.
posted by kristi at 1:39 PM on December 16, 2019 [5 favorites]

-having an insulated water bottle/thermos to carry around during the winter, because I'll always have a hot drink (tea or just hot water)

-somewhat similar to suggestions above, I like smelling/applying cocoa butter to my skin when I'm winding down after work. the main bonus is every time I'm stressed, if I stiff cocoa butter, I relax a little bit because I associate it with comfort. like a tiny massage!

-I like the ritual of making a small pot of tea in the morning
posted by typify at 12:11 PM on December 18, 2019 [1 favorite]