Disclosing Alcoholism in New Relationship
July 13, 2019 5:47 AM Subscribe
Last week, I started attending AA meetings. Next week, I start seeing a counselor. About two months ago, I started dating a woman (I'm a cishet man) who lives about an hour away. I have not told her about my drinking problems. She's driving here for an overnight visit later today.
Please help me sort through my thoughts about telling her.
Do I tell her? I think I have to. When do I tell her? Before she drives here, or sometime after she arrives?
How do I tell her? What do I say?
I like her a lot, but we're just at the very beginning stages of dating, in part because we don't live in the same city. I feel I've already been deceptive about my drinking and don't want that to continue. I really don't want her to get here, we have a nice dinner, sleep together, and I tell her tomorrow.
I confess that part of me thinks it would be easier to handle the way back to sobriety if I were not in a developing relationship. It also seems only fair to be open to her, to give her the truth so that she can decide if she wants to develop a relationship with a recovering alcoholic. I also lean toward telling her before she even departs to drive here, so she can decide if that's what she wants to do. But that also seems like a cop-out, compared to face-to-face.
My thoughts are muddled here, obviously. I want to be good to her, whatever that takes.
Please help me unpack this situation. It's been a long, rough week. But I can handle a reality-check.
Do I tell her? I think I have to. When do I tell her? Before she drives here, or sometime after she arrives?
How do I tell her? What do I say?
I like her a lot, but we're just at the very beginning stages of dating, in part because we don't live in the same city. I feel I've already been deceptive about my drinking and don't want that to continue. I really don't want her to get here, we have a nice dinner, sleep together, and I tell her tomorrow.
I confess that part of me thinks it would be easier to handle the way back to sobriety if I were not in a developing relationship. It also seems only fair to be open to her, to give her the truth so that she can decide if she wants to develop a relationship with a recovering alcoholic. I also lean toward telling her before she even departs to drive here, so she can decide if that's what she wants to do. But that also seems like a cop-out, compared to face-to-face.
My thoughts are muddled here, obviously. I want to be good to her, whatever that takes.
Please help me unpack this situation. It's been a long, rough week. But I can handle a reality-check.
To help you/us unpack this more accurately, can you explain what your anxiety is?
Could it be any of the following (and it might not be)
Is it that you think you might relapse?
Is it a moral judgment you think she might have on you for EVER being an alcoholic?
Is it that you will need to tell her logistical details pertaining to an overnight that are related to your meetings or alcoholism?
Etc.
Getting to the source of the anxiety you are feeling might help you (and anyone else trying to support you) clarify the best next steps.
posted by seemoorglass at 5:55 AM on July 13, 2019
Could it be any of the following (and it might not be)
Is it that you think you might relapse?
Is it a moral judgment you think she might have on you for EVER being an alcoholic?
Is it that you will need to tell her logistical details pertaining to an overnight that are related to your meetings or alcoholism?
Etc.
Getting to the source of the anxiety you are feeling might help you (and anyone else trying to support you) clarify the best next steps.
posted by seemoorglass at 5:55 AM on July 13, 2019
I mean, I get that this disclosure is a big deal to you, but in the grand scheme of things, I would gently advise you against making it into A Major Revelation. "Hey, so I quit drinking and last week I went to my first AA meeting, is it okay with you if we do alcohol-free stuff for the time being?" is probably the way I would approach it. She can ask questions from there.
posted by DarlingBri at 6:02 AM on July 13, 2019 [74 favorites]
posted by DarlingBri at 6:02 AM on July 13, 2019 [74 favorites]
I also lean toward telling her before she even departs to drive here, so she can decide if that's what she wants to do. But that also seems like a cop-out, compared to face-to-face.
Call her and have the conversation (I like DarlingBri's script) before she drives over, and let her know that you're happy to discuss more face-to-face. That's not a cop-out - it's respecting her time and agency.
AFAIK the classic advice is to not date for the first 12 months of recovery, which is not to actually advise you on whether or not you should be dating now, but it's something to consider. More on that here.
posted by bunderful at 6:21 AM on July 13, 2019 [11 favorites]
Call her and have the conversation (I like DarlingBri's script) before she drives over, and let her know that you're happy to discuss more face-to-face. That's not a cop-out - it's respecting her time and agency.
AFAIK the classic advice is to not date for the first 12 months of recovery, which is not to actually advise you on whether or not you should be dating now, but it's something to consider. More on that here.
posted by bunderful at 6:21 AM on July 13, 2019 [11 favorites]
Tell her before she leaves so she doesn't, say, bring a bottle of wine as a gift.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 6:44 AM on July 13, 2019 [14 favorites]
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 6:44 AM on July 13, 2019 [14 favorites]
Last week, I started attending AA meetings. Next week, I start seeing a counselor. About two months ago, I started dating a woman (I'm a cishet man) who lives about an hour away. I have not told her about my drinking problems. She's driving here for an overnight visit later today. Please help me sort through my thoughts about telling her.
Do you have a sponsor? If you do, then talk to your sponsor about it. If not... this is the reason one has a sponsor. One person who knows you well is better spiritual support than the internet.
The classic advice I heard was not to *make any major life decisions* in the first 12mo. So... don't start dating anybody new, but don't break up with anyone, either. Don't try so hard to *fix* things, basically. But what passes for classic advice varies pretty widely from place to place, ofc.
posted by billjings at 7:18 AM on July 13, 2019 [7 favorites]
Do you have a sponsor? If you do, then talk to your sponsor about it. If not... this is the reason one has a sponsor. One person who knows you well is better spiritual support than the internet.
The classic advice I heard was not to *make any major life decisions* in the first 12mo. So... don't start dating anybody new, but don't break up with anyone, either. Don't try so hard to *fix* things, basically. But what passes for classic advice varies pretty widely from place to place, ofc.
posted by billjings at 7:18 AM on July 13, 2019 [7 favorites]
Tell her before she leaves so she doesn't, say, bring a bottle of wine as a gift.
Why not just tell her that you don't drink? Followed by "Is it okay with you if we do alcohol-free stuff for the time being?" as Darling Bri suggested. That is being factual, and avoids the awkwardness of her bringing wine as a gift, without over-sharing (which could be a turnoff) about thinking of yourself as an "alcoholic" or attending AA. Besides, you might decide to continue your recovery without AA, and you wouldn't want to put her in an uncomfortable position of judging you on your meeting attendance or worrying about you relapsing. Really, all she needs to know is that you don't drink, for health reasons. If she asks for more info, you can just say you feel that at a previous time in your life, you were drinking more than was good for you, and decided to stop.
posted by RRgal at 7:40 AM on July 13, 2019 [7 favorites]
Why not just tell her that you don't drink? Followed by "Is it okay with you if we do alcohol-free stuff for the time being?" as Darling Bri suggested. That is being factual, and avoids the awkwardness of her bringing wine as a gift, without over-sharing (which could be a turnoff) about thinking of yourself as an "alcoholic" or attending AA. Besides, you might decide to continue your recovery without AA, and you wouldn't want to put her in an uncomfortable position of judging you on your meeting attendance or worrying about you relapsing. Really, all she needs to know is that you don't drink, for health reasons. If she asks for more info, you can just say you feel that at a previous time in your life, you were drinking more than was good for you, and decided to stop.
posted by RRgal at 7:40 AM on July 13, 2019 [7 favorites]
Anecdote: I met a guy online a few weeks ago who lives fairly close to me. Our schedules are at odds, but we kept chatting. One day, while running errands, I walked past one of the big social AA houses in my town and I saw him sitting on the stoop. He was chatting with folks, eating popcorn, and he waved me over. I met a couple of his AA friends. He volunteered that a meeting had just adjourned, that he takes his sobriety seriously, that it's been 4 years, etc. I was impressed, and he handled it super casually and openly. He clearly has gotten comfortable with being honest and forthright, but he didn't feel the need to bring it up right from the beginning. It just came up organically. I liked it that way, too, and honestly however you move forward in your situation will be the right way. It's great that you're reaching out to us for input—asking for guidance is such a good sign—but there's really no wrong way for you to move forward.
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 9:04 AM on July 13, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 9:04 AM on July 13, 2019 [6 favorites]
The fact that someone was just going into recovery would be a Big Effin Deal to me. It would be really weird to me if a major life event like that wasn't mentioned up front, as soon as it happened, by someone I was dating.
Giving a heads up before she gets in the car would be nice, but as it is only an hour's drive I could see holding off to get the benefit of a real face to face talk. Either way, you need to tell her about this part of your life sooner rather than later.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 9:16 AM on July 13, 2019 [9 favorites]
Giving a heads up before she gets in the car would be nice, but as it is only an hour's drive I could see holding off to get the benefit of a real face to face talk. Either way, you need to tell her about this part of your life sooner rather than later.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 9:16 AM on July 13, 2019 [9 favorites]
Do I tell her? I think I have to.
You've offered two reasons why you think this. First, you feel like you've already been deceptive about your drinking. You don't specify how you've been deceptive, and of course you know from AA that your own perspective isn't the clearest right now…but for discussion's sake, let's assume you have been. Second, you want to give her the chance to decide whether she wants to be involved with a recovering alcoholic. Based on what you wrote, that sounds like the bigger issue.
Why now? You won't tell people when you first meet them. You wouldn't put it in a dating profile. And to the extent you feel like she's taking a "risk" on you, that's a risk she signed onto by leaving her house. Everybody you meet could be, and probably is, a something—a recovering alcoholic, an active alcoholic, addicted to pills, dying from cancer, suffering from schizophrenia, nervous about tomorrow's business meeting, alienated from family, obsessed with an ex, world-class at roller skating, allergic to dogs. You have a lot of checkboxes, and so does she.
It's up to you (plural) to navigate those. We don't know you, or her, or how you met, or what you've shared together so far, so the usefulness of our feedback should be pretty limited. But I think relationships tend to be more successful if they unfold organically than if people artificially impose on them, "Okay so it's time for us to talk about X." As you can see from this thread, some people will be shocked if you don't immediately share this fact about your life, and others would expect and prefer it to come up whenever it comes up. There are no blanket rules.
Sometimes when people are in early stages of recovery, they can benefit from being reminded that the way things feel to you right now, from inside, are likely to be very different from how they appear to everyone outside, and that isn't because you possess special insight and are correct. Both views have their flaws and truth. Good luck with everything.
posted by cribcage at 9:40 AM on July 13, 2019 [1 favorite]
You've offered two reasons why you think this. First, you feel like you've already been deceptive about your drinking. You don't specify how you've been deceptive, and of course you know from AA that your own perspective isn't the clearest right now…but for discussion's sake, let's assume you have been. Second, you want to give her the chance to decide whether she wants to be involved with a recovering alcoholic. Based on what you wrote, that sounds like the bigger issue.
Why now? You won't tell people when you first meet them. You wouldn't put it in a dating profile. And to the extent you feel like she's taking a "risk" on you, that's a risk she signed onto by leaving her house. Everybody you meet could be, and probably is, a something—a recovering alcoholic, an active alcoholic, addicted to pills, dying from cancer, suffering from schizophrenia, nervous about tomorrow's business meeting, alienated from family, obsessed with an ex, world-class at roller skating, allergic to dogs. You have a lot of checkboxes, and so does she.
It's up to you (plural) to navigate those. We don't know you, or her, or how you met, or what you've shared together so far, so the usefulness of our feedback should be pretty limited. But I think relationships tend to be more successful if they unfold organically than if people artificially impose on them, "Okay so it's time for us to talk about X." As you can see from this thread, some people will be shocked if you don't immediately share this fact about your life, and others would expect and prefer it to come up whenever it comes up. There are no blanket rules.
Sometimes when people are in early stages of recovery, they can benefit from being reminded that the way things feel to you right now, from inside, are likely to be very different from how they appear to everyone outside, and that isn't because you possess special insight and are correct. Both views have their flaws and truth. Good luck with everything.
posted by cribcage at 9:40 AM on July 13, 2019 [1 favorite]
Well. As someone who’s sober and someone who’s in a relationship that started at kind of a bad time, yeah, you should tell her. She should know what’s going on, although I think you’ll probably need some time before you can really have a good idea of what your life and you will be like. I think your impulse of it not being a great thing to be in a relationship is right on, honestly. Not that you’re in a BAD place, just one that’s a big change for you right now, and you need to really re-form some of the ways you relate to yourself (it’s exciting! And great! And I’m very happy for you!)
However, that’s not always how things work. I started dating my current partner when they were in the midst of a pretty bad depressive episode, during a short little upswing. Once I figured out how bad of a place they were really in, honestly I almost broke up with them. Just knowing from personal experience where they were, and not sure I was up for it. We talked about it though, and they were still interested in a relationship even though we agreed they probably shouldn’t be in one at the time, but I decided to step back a little and make sure they had some space, and take it one day at a time and check in periodically that we were both still in it, and here we are in a better spot now. It was hard on me and took a lot of (sometimes i worried very misplaced) faith on my part. Anyway, it was a choice I made, life is messy and not not always perfectly timed, and we saw enough potential in each other to just kind of muddle through that. She should also have that choice, and may or may not be into continuing a relationship at this point but boundaries on her part would be a good thing! I also gently suggest that you be careful not to put too much in this relationship as a crutch for your sobriety, so taking it slow for a few months as you figure things out would be a good idea, I think.
posted by jeweled accumulation at 10:30 AM on July 13, 2019 [4 favorites]
However, that’s not always how things work. I started dating my current partner when they were in the midst of a pretty bad depressive episode, during a short little upswing. Once I figured out how bad of a place they were really in, honestly I almost broke up with them. Just knowing from personal experience where they were, and not sure I was up for it. We talked about it though, and they were still interested in a relationship even though we agreed they probably shouldn’t be in one at the time, but I decided to step back a little and make sure they had some space, and take it one day at a time and check in periodically that we were both still in it, and here we are in a better spot now. It was hard on me and took a lot of (sometimes i worried very misplaced) faith on my part. Anyway, it was a choice I made, life is messy and not not always perfectly timed, and we saw enough potential in each other to just kind of muddle through that. She should also have that choice, and may or may not be into continuing a relationship at this point but boundaries on her part would be a good thing! I also gently suggest that you be careful not to put too much in this relationship as a crutch for your sobriety, so taking it slow for a few months as you figure things out would be a good idea, I think.
posted by jeweled accumulation at 10:30 AM on July 13, 2019 [4 favorites]
Although relationships should unfold naturally, I agree, I think it is way harder to disengage when you're emotionally invested in someone who may otherwise pose a serious risk to your emotional and mental well being, which unfortunately, alcoholics (even those who are recovering) have been stigmatized for. You don't know her very well yet and she may have suffered trauma at the hand of alcoholics, is a recovering alcoholic herself, is x, y, z, but it is kind and ethical not to get someone wrapped up in your mental health/addiction recovery unless they know all of the facts of your progress and have time to consider everything objectively. Because, let's be honest, recovering from alcoholism isn't a small thing, it is a very, very tough battle that you're going through, and will require you to be self focused for a while. At a two month mark, yeah, this is when key aspects of your life that could affect the other person should be disclosed (whether that is mental illness, addiction or even financial issues, etc.). Otherwise, once they become invested and develop deep feelings, their judgment may be naturally clouded by them, and, honestly, that seems extremely unethical and selfish.
So it might be best to tell her EVENTUALLY, maybe not this weekend, but soon. You can't stop people from stigmatizing you or dumping you but you can be honest and let them make their own decisions.
posted by Young Kullervo at 10:32 AM on July 13, 2019
So it might be best to tell her EVENTUALLY, maybe not this weekend, but soon. You can't stop people from stigmatizing you or dumping you but you can be honest and let them make their own decisions.
posted by Young Kullervo at 10:32 AM on July 13, 2019
Here’s what I would say (and did say, in social situations, when I stopped drinking for a good long while):
“I’m not drinking right now. I’ve decided to change my relationship with alcohol.”
It’s all the information the other person needs in the moment, implies that the situation goes beyond a temporary dry-out, and if they’re curious (and they usually are) their questions naturally draw out further information.
posted by ocherdraco at 10:59 AM on July 13, 2019 [2 favorites]
“I’m not drinking right now. I’ve decided to change my relationship with alcohol.”
It’s all the information the other person needs in the moment, implies that the situation goes beyond a temporary dry-out, and if they’re curious (and they usually are) their questions naturally draw out further information.
posted by ocherdraco at 10:59 AM on July 13, 2019 [2 favorites]
I agree with Tell Me No Lies that such a major decision in your life REQUIRES full disclosure to a potential romantic relationship. For both of you. For you because you need people who will fully support your sobriety and for her because you don't know her history with alcoholics and it might cause her great distress (for instance, a relative is an alcoholic or she is one either recovering or not). Be kind to both of you and PLEASE tell her before she comes for a visit.
posted by lois1950 at 12:05 PM on July 13, 2019 [8 favorites]
posted by lois1950 at 12:05 PM on July 13, 2019 [8 favorites]
I don’t think it much matters whether you call her and tell her or tell her when she’s arrived, but you should tell her before you sleep together rather than doing that and then waking up and telling her.
posted by sallybrown at 4:15 PM on July 13, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by sallybrown at 4:15 PM on July 13, 2019 [2 favorites]
the timeline's a little unclear. you started seeing her two months ago but you started going to meetings a week ago; does that mean you were still drinking when the two of you were first dating? because I don't think it's ever deceptive to just maintain privacy about a private circumstance, but if you've changed your social behavior since meeting her in a way that will affect the activities you can do with her - or if you expect her to want to do things and go places that are not good for you - definitely talk to her about that.
you don't have to formally announce your Alcoholism and meeting-and-therapy plans, you can just say you quit drinking last week (or whenever it was) and it's a big lifestyle change for you, so you're devoting a bit of time and thought to it in an effort to make sure it sticks, since you'd like for it to be a permanent change. same information, but tailored for the comfort and boundaries of someone you don't know very well yet.
she does need to know if drinking in your presence makes things difficult for you, so that she can stop. and you should feel very free to be frank if this is the case. don't feel bound by politeness to tell her you don't mind if she has a glass of wine, or don't mind spending time in bars, if in fact you do mind. that may change as time goes by but don't make things extra hard for yourself right now.
posted by queenofbithynia at 8:15 PM on July 13, 2019
you don't have to formally announce your Alcoholism and meeting-and-therapy plans, you can just say you quit drinking last week (or whenever it was) and it's a big lifestyle change for you, so you're devoting a bit of time and thought to it in an effort to make sure it sticks, since you'd like for it to be a permanent change. same information, but tailored for the comfort and boundaries of someone you don't know very well yet.
she does need to know if drinking in your presence makes things difficult for you, so that she can stop. and you should feel very free to be frank if this is the case. don't feel bound by politeness to tell her you don't mind if she has a glass of wine, or don't mind spending time in bars, if in fact you do mind. that may change as time goes by but don't make things extra hard for yourself right now.
posted by queenofbithynia at 8:15 PM on July 13, 2019
I see several people suggesting that you wait and discuss it in person, but I'd vote to tell her over email or phone, in order to let her process the information before seeing you again. It can be rough to be unexpectedly faced with a revelation like this, and people sometimes don't really know how to react when they're on the spot.
I have a Big Important Thing I have had to disclose many times in a dating context, and have found that the best method is a concise email that outlines the Big Thing, gives a link or two to additional information, and ends with an offer to discuss it further if and when the person is ready to talk about it.
posted by nirblegee at 5:30 AM on July 14, 2019 [2 favorites]
I have a Big Important Thing I have had to disclose many times in a dating context, and have found that the best method is a concise email that outlines the Big Thing, gives a link or two to additional information, and ends with an offer to discuss it further if and when the person is ready to talk about it.
posted by nirblegee at 5:30 AM on July 14, 2019 [2 favorites]
I confess that part of me thinks it would be easier to handle the way back to sobriety if I were not in a developing relationship.
There are a lot of weird aspects to changing your relationship with alcohol and one of them is your brain's tendency to be like "This would only be easier if..." doing things to sort of sabotage what you've already done. So hey, you're changing your relationship with alcohol, go you!
I share the concerns of queenofbithynia, if your relationship involved drinking together from the get-go, I think it's important to mention this upfront (like, before they get in the car upfront). It may not be fair but sometimes heavy drinkers like to be with other heavy drinkers and they might feel weird about showing up for a weekend and then hearing "Oh hey I'm not drinking for now" On the other hand, maybe they are someone who doesn't drink much or maybe was a little concerned about your drinking and this revelation "Oh hey I'm not drinking for now" is an "Oh really, that's great!" event. Or maybe it's somewhere in between, which is more likely. Or possibly they're in recovery also. There are a lot of what-ifs.
But, this is a fresh new thing and really working on your sobriety in a real and honest way is a lot more important (I know it doesn't feel that way for now possibly) than a relationship that is super new. So I'm all for up front honestly because it shows you prioritize them not being in the dark, even at the expense of things that might be better/easier for you. Changing your relationship with alcohol is not just not-drinking, it's also about learning to take responsibility for your stuff, whatever that stuff is, and being honest with people about how drinking has affected you. I think you'll be okay, but I think you should be up front and honest. Good luck.
posted by jessamyn at 7:00 PM on July 14, 2019 [1 favorite]
There are a lot of weird aspects to changing your relationship with alcohol and one of them is your brain's tendency to be like "This would only be easier if..." doing things to sort of sabotage what you've already done. So hey, you're changing your relationship with alcohol, go you!
I share the concerns of queenofbithynia, if your relationship involved drinking together from the get-go, I think it's important to mention this upfront (like, before they get in the car upfront). It may not be fair but sometimes heavy drinkers like to be with other heavy drinkers and they might feel weird about showing up for a weekend and then hearing "Oh hey I'm not drinking for now" On the other hand, maybe they are someone who doesn't drink much or maybe was a little concerned about your drinking and this revelation "Oh hey I'm not drinking for now" is an "Oh really, that's great!" event. Or maybe it's somewhere in between, which is more likely. Or possibly they're in recovery also. There are a lot of what-ifs.
But, this is a fresh new thing and really working on your sobriety in a real and honest way is a lot more important (I know it doesn't feel that way for now possibly) than a relationship that is super new. So I'm all for up front honestly because it shows you prioritize them not being in the dark, even at the expense of things that might be better/easier for you. Changing your relationship with alcohol is not just not-drinking, it's also about learning to take responsibility for your stuff, whatever that stuff is, and being honest with people about how drinking has affected you. I think you'll be okay, but I think you should be up front and honest. Good luck.
posted by jessamyn at 7:00 PM on July 14, 2019 [1 favorite]
Not saying that you're (very recently) in recovery is a major lie of omission in my books. I think you should tell her first, before sex complicates things emotionally. If I were the woman in this scenario and you kept something like this from me until after we'd had sex, that would be a total deal breaker and I would feel extremely violated.
posted by Frenchy67 at 8:17 AM on July 15, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by Frenchy67 at 8:17 AM on July 15, 2019 [2 favorites]
Wow. This situation happened to me. I'll give you my experience for some strength and hope:
I had *just* stopped drinking, joined AA and was in the middle of 90 meetings in 90 days. I met an incredible person where I worked and we just completely, organically hit it off. I mean, it was as if someone who answers prayers actually listened for a changed (I'm not that cynical now). Anyway, we decided to give it a go.
I contacted someone who I wanted to be my sponsor. While he strongly advised against it, he also said that if I do go through with it, be completely honest and forthright. So, later that day, and in the 45th day or so of my 90-in-90, I told the person I am an alcoholic who is regularly going to meetings. I asked if this was a deal-breaker, they said no, but was very glad that I was honest.
It's entirely possible to date someone at the beginning of your program. However, I would advise against it, as your sobriety is your chief goal. But, if this person is willing to take this journey with you, it can be incredibly rewarding.
By the way, the person and I only broke up because I was moving out of state. They were an incredibly giving, loving and positive person. Wishing you the very best of luck in your sobriety and your decision.
posted by theseventhstranger at 3:14 PM on July 15, 2019 [1 favorite]
I had *just* stopped drinking, joined AA and was in the middle of 90 meetings in 90 days. I met an incredible person where I worked and we just completely, organically hit it off. I mean, it was as if someone who answers prayers actually listened for a changed (I'm not that cynical now). Anyway, we decided to give it a go.
I contacted someone who I wanted to be my sponsor. While he strongly advised against it, he also said that if I do go through with it, be completely honest and forthright. So, later that day, and in the 45th day or so of my 90-in-90, I told the person I am an alcoholic who is regularly going to meetings. I asked if this was a deal-breaker, they said no, but was very glad that I was honest.
It's entirely possible to date someone at the beginning of your program. However, I would advise against it, as your sobriety is your chief goal. But, if this person is willing to take this journey with you, it can be incredibly rewarding.
By the way, the person and I only broke up because I was moving out of state. They were an incredibly giving, loving and positive person. Wishing you the very best of luck in your sobriety and your decision.
posted by theseventhstranger at 3:14 PM on July 15, 2019 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 5:54 AM on July 13, 2019 [10 favorites]