Preppy trans masculine person seeks UK clothing brands
March 23, 2019 6:34 AM Subscribe
I'm an AFAB person who exclusively wears menswear looking clothes.
I am going to an event with a lot of very senior people from big traditional companies and suddenly need high quality smart casual outfits that fit well. I'm nervous about fit issues and also about being in a fancier crowd than I am used to. Help!
I'm size 12 on top, 14 on the bottom, and slightly too narrow shouldered / wide hipped to fit most tops in the men's section.
But I bet there a lot of more expensive brands in the UK selling masculine looking clothes for cis women.
Can you help me find them? Or alternative approaches to solving my clothing dilemma? Bonus points for things I might practically be able to try on in a store...
I'm size 12 on top, 14 on the bottom, and slightly too narrow shouldered / wide hipped to fit most tops in the men's section.
But I bet there a lot of more expensive brands in the UK selling masculine looking clothes for cis women.
Can you help me find them? Or alternative approaches to solving my clothing dilemma? Bonus points for things I might practically be able to try on in a store...
Response by poster: Do you have a budget? Where do you normally shop? How much time do you have? What sort of event - company picnic, multi-day retreat...? Do you pretty much know what you want and just need to find the right fit or are you unsure what people might be wearing at this event?
I can afford to spend a decent amount if I'm buying quality things that will last.
I try and avoid shopping whenever possible, it's a huge nightmare so I don't have any particular place that I already shop and like.
I have very little time and less energy.
It's a multi day conference style event and will be full of people in standard smart casual. I'm sure they are used to hanging around with people who aren't like them - but I'd like to minimise the number of axes on which I obviously stand out. There are enough already!
Finally just to note, I'm in the UK.
posted by quacks like a duck at 9:04 AM on March 23, 2019
I can afford to spend a decent amount if I'm buying quality things that will last.
I try and avoid shopping whenever possible, it's a huge nightmare so I don't have any particular place that I already shop and like.
I have very little time and less energy.
It's a multi day conference style event and will be full of people in standard smart casual. I'm sure they are used to hanging around with people who aren't like them - but I'd like to minimise the number of axes on which I obviously stand out. There are enough already!
Finally just to note, I'm in the UK.
posted by quacks like a duck at 9:04 AM on March 23, 2019
The perennial transmasculine clothing recommendations with UK presence are Asos, Uniqlo and Topman, mostly because they carry smaller shirts. For shirts, try to target things that are either designed to be worn tucked in or are just too short to tuck in. It's the "should be worn untucked" button-up shirts that still have a tail where my hips do me in.
I have no good advice on trousers, other than targeting shops that carry a lot of styles/sizes. If you have time and money to throw at this, you can take something that fits, but not as well as it could, to a tailor and have it altered.
H&M might be a place to look for a casual blazer--they multiple slim cuts, which can save you when you're just too small for a men's small.
None of these places really hit "high quality" (maybe Uniqlo?), but can get you to "this person knows how to do smart casual well enough to blend in".
posted by hoyland at 9:48 AM on March 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
I have no good advice on trousers, other than targeting shops that carry a lot of styles/sizes. If you have time and money to throw at this, you can take something that fits, but not as well as it could, to a tailor and have it altered.
H&M might be a place to look for a casual blazer--they multiple slim cuts, which can save you when you're just too small for a men's small.
None of these places really hit "high quality" (maybe Uniqlo?), but can get you to "this person knows how to do smart casual well enough to blend in".
posted by hoyland at 9:48 AM on March 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
Based on some google searches you might have luck with clothing subscription services like StitchFix or Trunk Club.
As far as I can tell they both have a presence in the UK or at least ship there. This does take longer - you have to fill out the profile, put in an order, wait for it to arrive, try it on, and then send back whatever doesn't work and give feedback, place a second order, etc. I've heard from friends who have sent back a couple of orders before finally starting to get the kind of things they want, so it's definitely not a short-term solution.
posted by bunderful at 11:30 AM on March 23, 2019
As far as I can tell they both have a presence in the UK or at least ship there. This does take longer - you have to fill out the profile, put in an order, wait for it to arrive, try it on, and then send back whatever doesn't work and give feedback, place a second order, etc. I've heard from friends who have sent back a couple of orders before finally starting to get the kind of things they want, so it's definitely not a short-term solution.
posted by bunderful at 11:30 AM on March 23, 2019
I wonder if Cos might work for you? The clothes are nicely cut and simple plus interesting -- and I think a lot of the women's shirts/trousers are fairly gender-neutral.
posted by heavenknows at 11:41 AM on March 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by heavenknows at 11:41 AM on March 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
Cos is definitely a good bet here, I think.
posted by ominous_paws at 4:23 PM on March 23, 2019
posted by ominous_paws at 4:23 PM on March 23, 2019
My NB eldest had surprisingly good luck with menswear shirts and trousers at Uniqlo in London For just the kinds of looks you described. .
posted by putzface_dickman at 7:48 PM on March 23, 2019
posted by putzface_dickman at 7:48 PM on March 23, 2019
Was going to say Cos and also consider Arket.
posted by Ted Maul at 4:51 AM on March 24, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Ted Maul at 4:51 AM on March 24, 2019 [1 favorite]
If you're comfy with it, I have good things to say about personal shoppers for situations like this.
I used one at John Lewis on Oxford Street just before I started a new job; you give them a brief and a budget, and turn up for a ~1hr or so appointment. They bring you stuff, you try it on in a private dressing room, and you buy the ones you like and go home. If you like they will also give you a glass of wine.
If you're near a bigger city, I bet there's a department store which does this. You might even have to pay for it (I didn't, it was free) but I still think it would be worth it to cut out some of the stress.
posted by citands at 6:18 AM on March 25, 2019
I used one at John Lewis on Oxford Street just before I started a new job; you give them a brief and a budget, and turn up for a ~1hr or so appointment. They bring you stuff, you try it on in a private dressing room, and you buy the ones you like and go home. If you like they will also give you a glass of wine.
If you're near a bigger city, I bet there's a department store which does this. You might even have to pay for it (I didn't, it was free) but I still think it would be worth it to cut out some of the stress.
posted by citands at 6:18 AM on March 25, 2019
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If you have money to throw at this problem, throw money at it. Hire a consultant to shop with and advise you. If you have a friend who loves clothes and will do it for free (or for dinner), even better.
Depending on the time you have available, consider ordering from a company with online ordering and free returns. Put it on your credit card and make your returns before the balance is due. I like this because it allows me time to try things on, take breaks and think. Shopping IRL often leads me to misjudge fit and make bad purchases.
If you have a lot of time and energy for shopping, thrifting can be a way to explore a lot of different brands and see where you find the best fit - so if you find Banana Republic pants that have the fit you like, even if they aren't, say, the best color, you could then go to a BR store or order BR pants online. Thrift stores are also a good way to help keep purchases within budget.
Clothes that don't fit well through the shoulders and similar can be altered by a tailor. I assume you could also size up pants to fit through the hips and then get a tailor to alter the pants to fit elsewhere. In general, if you try something on that doesn't quite fit right but you otherwise love it, take it to the tailor and ask them if they can adjust it and for how much - then proceed with alterations or returns.
Store ideas:
Brooks Brothers
Butch clothing roundup - from 2012 but hopefully useful
Haute Butch
DapperQ roundup - warning, 2013
H&M - especially for basics. Plus they are cheap enough that it's less anxiety-inducing to buy something and have it altered by a tailor you don't know well.
Also, I'm cis and tend to dress femme because it's what usually fits my body type better, but I'm jealous of menswear and sometimes like to browse sites like Put This On for inspiration.
One last thought - I sometimes remind myself that while hanging out with richer or more senior people is nerve-wracking for me, it is something that is probably not unusual for them because there are more people in the world like me than like them. And if they are halfway decent people they aren't going to clutch their pearls if I use the wrong fork or wear thrift store pants.
Hope some of this is helpful - good luck!
posted by bunderful at 8:31 AM on March 23, 2019 [2 favorites]