Cat relationship filter
March 8, 2019 12:58 PM Subscribe
My mother-in-law is looking for a new home for one of her cats, and we said we would try and see if our resident cat would accept a new housemate. Contrary to expectations, resident cat is very accepting, but new cat is very much not. What else can we do to help them get along? Snowflakes and relationship drama inside.
Cindy is my 15-year-old kitty, whom I've had since I was 10 years old (and whom I have asked many questions about!). My mother-in-law recently moved up from Texas to a smaller place in Wisconsin, and does not have room for three cats. One of these cats is Priscilla (Prissy for short), who is approximately 1 and a half. Prissy and her brother Picasso were born to a feral mother, and MIL took them home when they were 5 months old, joining her 10-year-old male cat. However, the two boy cats are very greedy and need to be fed on a schedule or they'll gorge themselves. Prissy, on the other hand, just grazes, even if fed on a schedule--she leaves a bunch of food in her bowl, and if the boys aren't kept away they'll eat it all. This was feasible at her old place, but now she doesn't have the space to keep Prissy fed without the boys eating all her food.
Cindy has lived with other cats before but never got along with them. However, they were always larger male cats that harassed her or tried to play when she wanted to be left alone. She never sought out fights but would swat or growl when they got close. MIL said that Prissy is very laidback and doesn't seek out the other cats for play or attention, so we thought she might get along well with Cindy. Plus she was always super friendly and cuddly whenever we went to MIL's house, and she seemed to adore my partner. According to MIL, Priscilla "doesn't see very well," (though she doesn't know what her specific vision problem is) so we thought it would be good for her to be in a house with a slow moving older cat that won't startle her. Cindy also free feeds, which means it'd be the perfect set up for Priscilla.
We told MIL we would do a two week trial run to see if they got along, but emphasized that if it was clear living with Prissy was going to stress her out, we would have to bring her back and help her find a different home. We took Prissy home on March 2nd, and did not let either cat see the other at first. We kept Prissy in the living room/kitchen half of our apartment, and Cindy in the bedroom/bathroom half (both areas are equal in size, and the bathroom itself was too tiny to keep Prissy in as per usual recommendations).
Prissy settled in pretty well until she realized another cat was under the door, at which point she got kind of wary. Eventually we got them to play with a toy under the door... until out of the blue, Prissy starts hissing and growling at Cindy (who had been purring and rolling around and playing like the happiest cat in the world). Prissy continued to do this any time she heard or saw Cindy under the door. Surprisingly, Cindy never hissed or growled back--she seemed curious and confused, ears forward, poking her nose or paws under the door, but not showing any signs of distress or aggression.
Then Prissy started hissing and growling with us too... except she would do this while demanding attention, e.g. growling while rubbing at our legs, sitting in our laps and hissing and then shoving her head in our hands to be pet more. She would also growl and hiss at sounds in the hallway or in the apartment next to us, sometimes jumping into our laps or standing in front of us while doing this. We thought maybe she's being defensive or thinks she needs to protect us? She definitely did not act scared at all, and would frequently follow us around when we do things and then hiss or growl if there was a strange sound (like the toaster oven). We invited MIL over for an evening to help calm her down, and she was totally fine while MIL was here, but got kind of growly again once she left (less so, though).
We switched their rooms back and forth a couple of times so they could get used to each other scents, and then slowly started letting them see each other and interact. For the past couple of days, when we're home and awake, we've had the apartment fully open and let them go where they want. At this point, neither of them has actually gotten close enough to sniff the other, because Prissy always growls and hisses when Cindy gets within a few feet of her. However, she hasn't tried to attack her. She has rushed her twice, once swatting her on the nose, and the other time just bristling at her. Both times we immediately put her in the other room for 15 minutes, and we've done it a couple of other times when she jumps up somewhere Cindy was already laying and starts hissing or growling (though I will stress she does not act like she is trying to chase Cindy away--she always seems startled that she's there, and doesn't move towards her any further). It's also not clear that she was intentionally rushing Cindy, as she will often just start running somewhere, so it may have been that Cindy just happened to be in her way and startled her. She hasn't been hissy or growly with us, except when we pick her up to put her in the other room.
Cindy has been extremely calm through this whole process. She has growled or hissed at her a couple of times, but only after either a) a full two minutes of being growled/hissed at, or b) being startled. Sometimes she'll give a little warning "mrr" but otherwise has not shown any signs of aggression, despite Prissy doing this probably 10 or 15 times a day. She is always careful to give her a wide berth and move slowly when she has to get around her. Neither of them act scared at all--no hiding or running away or cowering. She mostly just sits where she was and looks confused when Prissy growls at her, or if she's walking somewhere she'll slow down and give her more space. She has tried to come up to her a couple of times (but stops when Prissy growls at her, and then she just sits down and stares at her), and when Prissy meows on the other side of the door she'll go over to investigate (and summarily get growled/hissed at). When we open the door in the morning or after we come home, she'll trot in to figure out where Prissy is (while keeping a decent distance). They're both eating and using their litter boxes fine (they each have their own food, water, and litter). Prissy seems very content and at home as long as Cindy's not near her, she's picked out favorite spots (thankfully different from Cindy's) and rolls around on the floor and does zoomies. It's just any time Cindy gets near her (or, more often, she gets near Cindy) that she gets unhappy.
We're at a loss. We definitely thought Cindy was the one who was potentially going to have a problem, but Prissy is acting like she's the resident cat and Cindy is an intruder. Repeated exposures to her being super calm and non-aggressive have not convinced her Cindy is not a threat. We can't even get them to play together with the same toy, because as soon as Prissy chases it and ends up near Cindy (or vice versa) she starts hissing and growling at her. We just got some Feliway spray to try, but I don't know if it'll help. MIL also just told us that Prissy's mother was extremely territorial and would even chase Prissy away sometimes, so I don't know if Prissy just associates female cats with aggression? Prissy may have also been bonded with her brother/the other older cat--she never acted particularly affectionate with either of them, but per MIL's report they're both acting super needy and like they miss her.
Is there anything else we can do before giving up? Even though Cindy isn't acting super stressed, she's old and my baby and she's spent most of her life in chaotic/stressful households, and I want her to have peace and comfort. Prissy is also obviously not happy with the situation, though she seems to love being here as long as Cindy's not around. We do have to shut her out of the bedroom at night (as Cindy has always slept with us), and she often cries at night because of that. I told MIL we'd give it until Sunday to see if she stops hissing and growling (and if she does, another week to see if they actually start getting along). But if not, I'm not sure it's worth stressing both of them out more by dragging this out. Thoughts, advice?
Cindy is my 15-year-old kitty, whom I've had since I was 10 years old (and whom I have asked many questions about!). My mother-in-law recently moved up from Texas to a smaller place in Wisconsin, and does not have room for three cats. One of these cats is Priscilla (Prissy for short), who is approximately 1 and a half. Prissy and her brother Picasso were born to a feral mother, and MIL took them home when they were 5 months old, joining her 10-year-old male cat. However, the two boy cats are very greedy and need to be fed on a schedule or they'll gorge themselves. Prissy, on the other hand, just grazes, even if fed on a schedule--she leaves a bunch of food in her bowl, and if the boys aren't kept away they'll eat it all. This was feasible at her old place, but now she doesn't have the space to keep Prissy fed without the boys eating all her food.
Cindy has lived with other cats before but never got along with them. However, they were always larger male cats that harassed her or tried to play when she wanted to be left alone. She never sought out fights but would swat or growl when they got close. MIL said that Prissy is very laidback and doesn't seek out the other cats for play or attention, so we thought she might get along well with Cindy. Plus she was always super friendly and cuddly whenever we went to MIL's house, and she seemed to adore my partner. According to MIL, Priscilla "doesn't see very well," (though she doesn't know what her specific vision problem is) so we thought it would be good for her to be in a house with a slow moving older cat that won't startle her. Cindy also free feeds, which means it'd be the perfect set up for Priscilla.
We told MIL we would do a two week trial run to see if they got along, but emphasized that if it was clear living with Prissy was going to stress her out, we would have to bring her back and help her find a different home. We took Prissy home on March 2nd, and did not let either cat see the other at first. We kept Prissy in the living room/kitchen half of our apartment, and Cindy in the bedroom/bathroom half (both areas are equal in size, and the bathroom itself was too tiny to keep Prissy in as per usual recommendations).
Prissy settled in pretty well until she realized another cat was under the door, at which point she got kind of wary. Eventually we got them to play with a toy under the door... until out of the blue, Prissy starts hissing and growling at Cindy (who had been purring and rolling around and playing like the happiest cat in the world). Prissy continued to do this any time she heard or saw Cindy under the door. Surprisingly, Cindy never hissed or growled back--she seemed curious and confused, ears forward, poking her nose or paws under the door, but not showing any signs of distress or aggression.
Then Prissy started hissing and growling with us too... except she would do this while demanding attention, e.g. growling while rubbing at our legs, sitting in our laps and hissing and then shoving her head in our hands to be pet more. She would also growl and hiss at sounds in the hallway or in the apartment next to us, sometimes jumping into our laps or standing in front of us while doing this. We thought maybe she's being defensive or thinks she needs to protect us? She definitely did not act scared at all, and would frequently follow us around when we do things and then hiss or growl if there was a strange sound (like the toaster oven). We invited MIL over for an evening to help calm her down, and she was totally fine while MIL was here, but got kind of growly again once she left (less so, though).
We switched their rooms back and forth a couple of times so they could get used to each other scents, and then slowly started letting them see each other and interact. For the past couple of days, when we're home and awake, we've had the apartment fully open and let them go where they want. At this point, neither of them has actually gotten close enough to sniff the other, because Prissy always growls and hisses when Cindy gets within a few feet of her. However, she hasn't tried to attack her. She has rushed her twice, once swatting her on the nose, and the other time just bristling at her. Both times we immediately put her in the other room for 15 minutes, and we've done it a couple of other times when she jumps up somewhere Cindy was already laying and starts hissing or growling (though I will stress she does not act like she is trying to chase Cindy away--she always seems startled that she's there, and doesn't move towards her any further). It's also not clear that she was intentionally rushing Cindy, as she will often just start running somewhere, so it may have been that Cindy just happened to be in her way and startled her. She hasn't been hissy or growly with us, except when we pick her up to put her in the other room.
Cindy has been extremely calm through this whole process. She has growled or hissed at her a couple of times, but only after either a) a full two minutes of being growled/hissed at, or b) being startled. Sometimes she'll give a little warning "mrr" but otherwise has not shown any signs of aggression, despite Prissy doing this probably 10 or 15 times a day. She is always careful to give her a wide berth and move slowly when she has to get around her. Neither of them act scared at all--no hiding or running away or cowering. She mostly just sits where she was and looks confused when Prissy growls at her, or if she's walking somewhere she'll slow down and give her more space. She has tried to come up to her a couple of times (but stops when Prissy growls at her, and then she just sits down and stares at her), and when Prissy meows on the other side of the door she'll go over to investigate (and summarily get growled/hissed at). When we open the door in the morning or after we come home, she'll trot in to figure out where Prissy is (while keeping a decent distance). They're both eating and using their litter boxes fine (they each have their own food, water, and litter). Prissy seems very content and at home as long as Cindy's not near her, she's picked out favorite spots (thankfully different from Cindy's) and rolls around on the floor and does zoomies. It's just any time Cindy gets near her (or, more often, she gets near Cindy) that she gets unhappy.
We're at a loss. We definitely thought Cindy was the one who was potentially going to have a problem, but Prissy is acting like she's the resident cat and Cindy is an intruder. Repeated exposures to her being super calm and non-aggressive have not convinced her Cindy is not a threat. We can't even get them to play together with the same toy, because as soon as Prissy chases it and ends up near Cindy (or vice versa) she starts hissing and growling at her. We just got some Feliway spray to try, but I don't know if it'll help. MIL also just told us that Prissy's mother was extremely territorial and would even chase Prissy away sometimes, so I don't know if Prissy just associates female cats with aggression? Prissy may have also been bonded with her brother/the other older cat--she never acted particularly affectionate with either of them, but per MIL's report they're both acting super needy and like they miss her.
Is there anything else we can do before giving up? Even though Cindy isn't acting super stressed, she's old and my baby and she's spent most of her life in chaotic/stressful households, and I want her to have peace and comfort. Prissy is also obviously not happy with the situation, though she seems to love being here as long as Cindy's not around. We do have to shut her out of the bedroom at night (as Cindy has always slept with us), and she often cries at night because of that. I told MIL we'd give it until Sunday to see if she stops hissing and growling (and if she does, another week to see if they actually start getting along). But if not, I'm not sure it's worth stressing both of them out more by dragging this out. Thoughts, advice?
I'd definitely do the Feliway plug-ins, and just give it time. We went from "one cat actively trying to murder the other" to "now these two old cats adore each other" in about one month.
posted by BlahLaLa at 1:24 PM on March 8, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by BlahLaLa at 1:24 PM on March 8, 2019 [3 favorites]
The main thing I think your kitties need is time. Possibly feliway diffusers. But definitely time.
I have 3 cats. I’d had the first about 5 years when I got the 2nd, and about 6 months later I got the 3rd. First Cat was viciously angry at first—even though we followed all the recommended procedures, she reacted much like Pricilla (hissing and growling, which was really out of character for her) and it took her a long long time to chill. Second Cat loved First Cat and just wanted to cuddle but First was having none of it. By the time Third Cat showed up, First and Second had made peace but Second wanted nothing to do with Third and got super hissy. Now Second and Third are bffs and First is a bit distant but they’re a team and all get together to create mayhem. I was really anxious about it at first, but it worked out. The magic ingredient was time.
posted by bibliotropic at 1:25 PM on March 8, 2019
I have 3 cats. I’d had the first about 5 years when I got the 2nd, and about 6 months later I got the 3rd. First Cat was viciously angry at first—even though we followed all the recommended procedures, she reacted much like Pricilla (hissing and growling, which was really out of character for her) and it took her a long long time to chill. Second Cat loved First Cat and just wanted to cuddle but First was having none of it. By the time Third Cat showed up, First and Second had made peace but Second wanted nothing to do with Third and got super hissy. Now Second and Third are bffs and First is a bit distant but they’re a team and all get together to create mayhem. I was really anxious about it at first, but it worked out. The magic ingredient was time.
posted by bibliotropic at 1:25 PM on March 8, 2019
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it take a good three months for a cat to settle in. If Prissy is used to having to fight for food and maybe attention, she may just be a little high-strung and grumpy. I think calm consistency will do her wonders. Feliway diffusers will help. Try to put up beds and blankets and other soft things around the house, they hold onto cat scents and once both cats have a new shared "smell" there should be less drama.
posted by Bistyfrass at 1:40 PM on March 8, 2019
posted by Bistyfrass at 1:40 PM on March 8, 2019
Response by poster: What would be a reasonable time frame to decide if it's not working out, then? I knew it would take time to adjust, but I figured there would be at least some improvement by now. Priscilla growls at us less, but she's exactly as hostile to Cindy as when she first got here. I don't want to put Cindy through that for three months if it turns out Priscilla really isn't going to accept her. But I don't want to be too pre-emptive either.
posted by brook horse at 2:25 PM on March 8, 2019
posted by brook horse at 2:25 PM on March 8, 2019
I couldn’t figure out how long it’s been (sorry if I missed it). It took our young cats about two weeks to become buds and I think that was fast actually, at least for the degree of buds they are now. I would have settled for “mostly tolerant” by that point.
posted by eirias at 2:44 PM on March 8, 2019
posted by eirias at 2:44 PM on March 8, 2019
It took my two dearly departed kitties a long time to bond. For two months we called the big one teakettle because he hissed so much. It settled down around month three and toleration began month five.
posted by frumiousb at 3:57 PM on March 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by frumiousb at 3:57 PM on March 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
Feliway diffuser works wonders
posted by evilmonk at 4:25 PM on March 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by evilmonk at 4:25 PM on March 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
I think this will settle down with some time, yeah. I have not had good luck with Feliway, but it sounds like Cindy has some truly excellent cat skills and is handling the feline social situation about perfectly: by eyeing Prissy and walking off when Prissy goes "!!!! YOU ARE NEAR ME." I suspect some of Prissy's defensiveness is probably down to those vision issues you say she has? My own blind cat is almost offensively good-natured, but I have a friend with a blind queen who becomes very upset and overwhelmed when her social environment changes, and who spent several days being upset and hissy and growling at her own littermate brother any time he got near her after he went without her to the vet for a few hours.
If there are fights in which someone screams and there is an altercation--tufts of hair, etc--that is the line wherein I would say "No, this is not working out" if I, like you, was focused on Cindy's happiness above all. Short of that, it sounds like Prissy is learning that Cindy is not scary and that Cindy is not going to take things she wants. For her part, your description of Cindy's reaction seems very "dude, what is her problem? Cool story, I guess, I'll be friendly if we pass in the hall but otherwise Imma gonna ignore you entirely." This is ideal as far as integrating a more defensive cat like Prissy.
posted by sciatrix at 4:47 PM on March 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
If there are fights in which someone screams and there is an altercation--tufts of hair, etc--that is the line wherein I would say "No, this is not working out" if I, like you, was focused on Cindy's happiness above all. Short of that, it sounds like Prissy is learning that Cindy is not scary and that Cindy is not going to take things she wants. For her part, your description of Cindy's reaction seems very "dude, what is her problem? Cool story, I guess, I'll be friendly if we pass in the hall but otherwise Imma gonna ignore you entirely." This is ideal as far as integrating a more defensive cat like Prissy.
posted by sciatrix at 4:47 PM on March 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
Brook horse, I'm not sure. Female cats govern territory in the cat world. It can be hard, but definitely not impossible, to have them get along. Anti-anxiety medication eould definitely help. I've used it with previous cats, they stay on it for a month or three and when they come off they have the habit of things going just fine and the other cat isn't a concern anymore.
These things just take time. In the grand scheme of Cindy's life, a few months of drama probably won't effect her. They're just learning as they go. In my experience this going pretty smoothly from what you describe. Cats can be jerks. You don't mention elimination issues or drawing blood, which would be causes for concern. If this is more than you want to take on, there's also no shame in rehoming Priscilla to a home without other cats. It doesn't make you a bad person.
posted by Bistyfrass at 6:09 PM on March 8, 2019
These things just take time. In the grand scheme of Cindy's life, a few months of drama probably won't effect her. They're just learning as they go. In my experience this going pretty smoothly from what you describe. Cats can be jerks. You don't mention elimination issues or drawing blood, which would be causes for concern. If this is more than you want to take on, there's also no shame in rehoming Priscilla to a home without other cats. It doesn't make you a bad person.
posted by Bistyfrass at 6:09 PM on March 8, 2019
I agree that this sounds pretty promising - your resident cat is showing some fantastic social skills and there's no direct violence - and that patience and time will probably sort things out. But just in case you all decide Prissy needs to go back with MIL, there is a way to have greedy piggy cats and grazer cats cohabitate.
I know because I live with my two cats Korben (the grazer) and Zevo (the piggy). It requires a bit of money and DIY to make a private dining room for the grazer and commitment from the person to teach that cat how to use a cat flap. I asked mefi for ideas and ended up going with the high tech expensive solution but by gum, it works.
We got a wooden coffee table from Ikea, an electronic cat flap that unlocks when it reads an rfid chip either on a collar or the one you've hopefully got in Prissy from the vet, some plywood, a sliding lock bolt, acrylic panels and screws. We went with acrylic because Korben is a total weirdo who hates going in boxes and he needs to see in and out of a space. There's plywood doors with the bolt on one end, the cat flap screwed into a piece of plywood for the other end. The key is that the cat flap is in "backwards", so anyone who gets under the table can leave, but only Korben can get in in the first place. You could more easily rig something up by buying a readymade enclosure for a litter box and fitting a cat flap into the entrance, or even a really big storage bin that you cut holes in. It took a few weeks to teach Korben how to use the cat flap, but Korben is not, erm, the smartest cat, nor is he motivated by treats. But now he's totally gold. Zevo is sometimes jealous but usually only cares about Korben's food when I've opened the doors on the other end to put new food in there. Korben can graze one tiny nibble at a time and Zevo can't do a thing about it.
Maybe your MIL could just modify a door to a bathroom or something with the cat flap instead, depending on her living situation. I love Korben's private dining room/coffee table though. It cost me a few hundred bucks but the cat harmony is totally worth it. Really though, it sounds like your situation will shake out okay in the end, as long as MIL's other two cats are okay too.
posted by Mizu at 12:22 AM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
I know because I live with my two cats Korben (the grazer) and Zevo (the piggy). It requires a bit of money and DIY to make a private dining room for the grazer and commitment from the person to teach that cat how to use a cat flap. I asked mefi for ideas and ended up going with the high tech expensive solution but by gum, it works.
We got a wooden coffee table from Ikea, an electronic cat flap that unlocks when it reads an rfid chip either on a collar or the one you've hopefully got in Prissy from the vet, some plywood, a sliding lock bolt, acrylic panels and screws. We went with acrylic because Korben is a total weirdo who hates going in boxes and he needs to see in and out of a space. There's plywood doors with the bolt on one end, the cat flap screwed into a piece of plywood for the other end. The key is that the cat flap is in "backwards", so anyone who gets under the table can leave, but only Korben can get in in the first place. You could more easily rig something up by buying a readymade enclosure for a litter box and fitting a cat flap into the entrance, or even a really big storage bin that you cut holes in. It took a few weeks to teach Korben how to use the cat flap, but Korben is not, erm, the smartest cat, nor is he motivated by treats. But now he's totally gold. Zevo is sometimes jealous but usually only cares about Korben's food when I've opened the doors on the other end to put new food in there. Korben can graze one tiny nibble at a time and Zevo can't do a thing about it.
Maybe your MIL could just modify a door to a bathroom or something with the cat flap instead, depending on her living situation. I love Korben's private dining room/coffee table though. It cost me a few hundred bucks but the cat harmony is totally worth it. Really though, it sounds like your situation will shake out okay in the end, as long as MIL's other two cats are okay too.
posted by Mizu at 12:22 AM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
Priscilla growls at us less, but she's exactly as hostile to Cindy as when she first got here. I don't want to put Cindy through that for three months
Priscilla sounds like she's adjusting, though slowly, and Cindy seems indifferent to this very low-key hostility that is more like defensiveness. I think you're making a few mistakes here, and one of them is aspiring for them to be buddies and resultingly seeing very little progress towards that goal. I would suggest the goal is indifference to one another, and you're actually making reasonable headway there.
I also think you are conflating your stress with the cat's stress. Cindy seems perfectly find with the new situation unless you've left something out, whereas you seem very not-fine about a thing that is actually going fine. I personally would not at this point remove the cats for swatting, but rather let them work it out. There is a hierarchy, and they will establish it, not you.
On a practical basis, put a bell on both cats so they are aware of one another.
posted by DarlingBri at 8:17 AM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
Priscilla sounds like she's adjusting, though slowly, and Cindy seems indifferent to this very low-key hostility that is more like defensiveness. I think you're making a few mistakes here, and one of them is aspiring for them to be buddies and resultingly seeing very little progress towards that goal. I would suggest the goal is indifference to one another, and you're actually making reasonable headway there.
I also think you are conflating your stress with the cat's stress. Cindy seems perfectly find with the new situation unless you've left something out, whereas you seem very not-fine about a thing that is actually going fine. I personally would not at this point remove the cats for swatting, but rather let them work it out. There is a hierarchy, and they will establish it, not you.
On a practical basis, put a bell on both cats so they are aware of one another.
posted by DarlingBri at 8:17 AM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: So, as of last night Priscilla has started to chase and attack Cindy (clawing and trying to bite, not just swatting). The first time Cindy ran away under the bed, the second Priscilla caught up with her and Cindy fought back and when I picked up Priscilla to separate them, Cindy followed me growling and hissing at her with her tail puffed up. She was pretty agitated for a while afterwards too. She’s now growling when Priscilla gets near, and we have noticed (even prior to this) changes in her patterns, e.g. she won’t come in our laps or sleep in her favorite bed if she sees Prissy is nearby. She also occasionally gets trapped on tables and things because she’s old and can’t jump all the way to the floor, and Prissy is near or on the item she uses as a step down. I’m going to see how this shakes out and give them time to work out a hierarchy (without letting them hurt each other), but it seems like it’s stressing her out now even if it wasn’t earlier.
posted by brook horse at 9:15 AM on March 9, 2019
posted by brook horse at 9:15 AM on March 9, 2019
Sorry, that is a setback. I don't think it's hopeless, but you probably need start over as if you're at day one. Keep them in separate rooms, but switching it up so that both cat's scents are in both rooms for a week or so, and feeding them on opposite sides of a closed door, before you let them interact face-to-face again. Try to eliminate the ambush zones -- now that you've seen where Cindy has gotten trapped, can you do any furniture re-arranging to create better escape routes? Add cat trees or other 'catification' that gives them more vertical space options? And talk to your vet -- I think anti-anxiety medication can be a real "force-quit/reboot" equivalent for a territorial cat's brain.
posted by oh yeah! at 10:55 AM on March 9, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by oh yeah! at 10:55 AM on March 9, 2019 [2 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by oh yeah! at 1:16 PM on March 8, 2019 [2 favorites]