Reading list for trust/abandonment issues

December 26, 2018 10:31 PM

I have a patchy upbringing and relationships scare me! Please recommend some books that would help

Some dark things happened in my childhood and I am a bit neurotic so I am trying to work on my overreactions, but would like some reading materials to chew on and think about.

Any reccs / anecdotes / resources? Thank you

posted by Crookshanks_Meow to Human Relations (5 answers total)

I really liked The Courage to Trust: A Guide to Building Deep and Lasting Relationships by Cynthia Wall. A small but mighty book - don't let the length/size fool you: it's intense (but helpful).
posted by dubhemerak3000 at 1:28 AM on December 27, 2018 [1 favorite]

A close friend of mine has strongly recommended An Adult Child's Guide to What's Normal, which I haven't gotten around to reading myself yet but have flipped through a few times and seems to have a lot of good material.
posted by bile and syntax at 6:20 AM on December 27, 2018 [1 favorite]

Since you specifically mentioned overreacting, I heartily recommend Stop Overreacting: Effective Strategies for Calming Your Emotions, by Judith Siegel. The author patiently and clearly explains what overreacting is, why it happens, the emotional root causes of overreacting, and how to redirect that nervous energy towards a more calm and productive response and result.
posted by Ardea alba at 8:07 AM on December 27, 2018 [1 favorite]

My favorite book recommendation of all time is so relevant! Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment gives great insight into some of the anxiety and other problematic behavior we sometimes might have in relationships. It explained so much.
posted by bluedaisy at 11:42 PM on December 27, 2018 [1 favorite]

This is a helpful book for childhood trauma but not abandonment/trust specifically: It Didn't Start With You.
posted by lafemma at 4:50 PM on January 3, 2019