My dog has separation anxiety with a twist
November 13, 2018 7:27 AM Subscribe
My mixed-breed Laika has gotten over her separation anxiety and now I can leave her alone at the house. However, sometimes a dog nanny or a friend comes while I'm at work to take her out if I'm staying longer. She does not tolerate this and barks and howls from the moment the dog nanny leaves until I'm back. How to cope?
There is a ritual we go through when I leave the house. I play with her, pet her a bit, give her a treat and tell her to be a good girl. I've instructed the dog nannies to do the same, but it doesn't help. She'll howl even if the person who takes her out during the day is somebody she knows well. I have to send somebody to my house once a week, but I'm starting school soon and this will happen more frequently. We've had no luck with a crate. I suspect that she gets upset whenever there's a breach in our rigid routine, but I really need her to cooperate somehow.
Any advice?
There is a ritual we go through when I leave the house. I play with her, pet her a bit, give her a treat and tell her to be a good girl. I've instructed the dog nannies to do the same, but it doesn't help. She'll howl even if the person who takes her out during the day is somebody she knows well. I have to send somebody to my house once a week, but I'm starting school soon and this will happen more frequently. We've had no luck with a crate. I suspect that she gets upset whenever there's a breach in our rigid routine, but I really need her to cooperate somehow.
Any advice?
See if this music helps. Get her a thundershirt. Try Adaptil, which is something you plug into the wall and it spits out nursing-mother pheromones.
posted by aniola at 7:41 AM on November 13, 2018
posted by aniola at 7:41 AM on November 13, 2018
I am not a dog expert, but if your dog is howling until you get back after the sitter leaves, you coming back is reinforcing the howling.
You might need to have one of the sitters work on leaving and coming back to send the message that howling doesn't result you in coming home. Then you come home when the dog is not howling, so maybe the sitter has to wait for you to get back. You have to break that association first I think.
posted by lafemma at 7:47 AM on November 13, 2018 [1 favorite]
You might need to have one of the sitters work on leaving and coming back to send the message that howling doesn't result you in coming home. Then you come home when the dog is not howling, so maybe the sitter has to wait for you to get back. You have to break that association first I think.
posted by lafemma at 7:47 AM on November 13, 2018 [1 favorite]
It doesn't sound like the problem is that the dog is uncomfortable with the other person being there; it sounds like she's unhappy about being left alone again after the other person leaves.
Do you know for a fact that she doesn't bark and howl on days when no one stops by to take her out? Is is possible that she barks and howls a lot but you're only aware of it happening at times when the dog nanny is there to hear it? How do you know she keeps barking and howling from the time the nanny leaves until the time you get home? Are you just assuming that's the case because she's making noise when the nanny leaves and also when you get home so you figure it must have been going on the whole time? (That would be a pretty reasonable assumption. But it can be helpful to think about what you definitely know about the situation vs. what you're guessing about.)
Assuming that she really is okay on the days the nanny doesn't stop by, it's probably because, as you say, she's gotten used to a particular routine. When you leave, she knows you're not coming back soon and she's not too upset about it because that's normal. But when someone unexpectedly comes by to take her out, she's happy about it and so when they leave she's unhappy. Since this isn't something that's happened a lot, she doesn't know whether they might come back or not. She barks and howls because something good started happening and then it stopped and she wants the person to come back and she's unhappy that they're not coming back.
The solution is probably to make having the visit by the dog nanny or friend become part of a familiar routine. You say this is going to be happening more frequently, so maybe that alone will solve the problem eventually. If the nanny/friend is able to spend an afternoon or a few afternoons working on this, they could try leaving very briefly, coming back to reward when the dog is quiet, leaving again and waiting a little longer before coming back with a reward (again when the dog is quiet), and so on, gradually extending the time until she's okay waiting for as long as it takes you to get home. But that may be too much to ask (or too much to pay for, if you're paying someone.)
You could also try having the sitter leave a long-lasting treat to chew on, like a bone or a Kong filled with food, or a treat-dispensing toy, to see if that distracts her enough to keep her quiet.
posted by Redstart at 8:42 AM on November 13, 2018
Do you know for a fact that she doesn't bark and howl on days when no one stops by to take her out? Is is possible that she barks and howls a lot but you're only aware of it happening at times when the dog nanny is there to hear it? How do you know she keeps barking and howling from the time the nanny leaves until the time you get home? Are you just assuming that's the case because she's making noise when the nanny leaves and also when you get home so you figure it must have been going on the whole time? (That would be a pretty reasonable assumption. But it can be helpful to think about what you definitely know about the situation vs. what you're guessing about.)
Assuming that she really is okay on the days the nanny doesn't stop by, it's probably because, as you say, she's gotten used to a particular routine. When you leave, she knows you're not coming back soon and she's not too upset about it because that's normal. But when someone unexpectedly comes by to take her out, she's happy about it and so when they leave she's unhappy. Since this isn't something that's happened a lot, she doesn't know whether they might come back or not. She barks and howls because something good started happening and then it stopped and she wants the person to come back and she's unhappy that they're not coming back.
The solution is probably to make having the visit by the dog nanny or friend become part of a familiar routine. You say this is going to be happening more frequently, so maybe that alone will solve the problem eventually. If the nanny/friend is able to spend an afternoon or a few afternoons working on this, they could try leaving very briefly, coming back to reward when the dog is quiet, leaving again and waiting a little longer before coming back with a reward (again when the dog is quiet), and so on, gradually extending the time until she's okay waiting for as long as it takes you to get home. But that may be too much to ask (or too much to pay for, if you're paying someone.)
You could also try having the sitter leave a long-lasting treat to chew on, like a bone or a Kong filled with food, or a treat-dispensing toy, to see if that distracts her enough to keep her quiet.
posted by Redstart at 8:42 AM on November 13, 2018
The key is activity that can take place while no one is there. Toys that operate on a principle like this are useful.
I like to play this game, though.
Train the dog to do a sit-stay where you can actually leave the room and do stuff, and the dog stays. Hold good-smelling treats beneath her nose so she knows what's coming next.
Then, while the dog is in the sit-stay, leave the room and hide the treats throughout the house. Vary their placement every day, as much as you can. Then, right before you walk out the door, release her from the sit-stay. Close the door and leave.
The idea is that the dog will spend time searching the house for the treats you've hidden. Done right, this could take her quite a while. Every now and again, do this, but don't leave any treats at all, or very few, or put all the treats into a puzzle toy, like the cube linked above. Use your imagination. Make her think she really, really needs to search the house, top to bottom, every time you go.
Eventually, maybe the dog even looks forward to you leaving, because there's a game to play and treats to find.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:37 AM on November 13, 2018
I like to play this game, though.
Train the dog to do a sit-stay where you can actually leave the room and do stuff, and the dog stays. Hold good-smelling treats beneath her nose so she knows what's coming next.
Then, while the dog is in the sit-stay, leave the room and hide the treats throughout the house. Vary their placement every day, as much as you can. Then, right before you walk out the door, release her from the sit-stay. Close the door and leave.
The idea is that the dog will spend time searching the house for the treats you've hidden. Done right, this could take her quite a while. Every now and again, do this, but don't leave any treats at all, or very few, or put all the treats into a puzzle toy, like the cube linked above. Use your imagination. Make her think she really, really needs to search the house, top to bottom, every time you go.
Eventually, maybe the dog even looks forward to you leaving, because there's a game to play and treats to find.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:37 AM on November 13, 2018
Response by poster: I sometimes monitor her through skype, so I know she doesn't howl during a normal day when nobody comes to take her out.
Your advice has been very useful, many thanks!
posted by mesija at 12:13 AM on November 14, 2018
Your advice has been very useful, many thanks!
posted by mesija at 12:13 AM on November 14, 2018
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i'd suggest blocking out some time where the three+ of y'all can be in proximity for at least half hour. it'll probably take a couple rounds of interaction before your dog makes the association between caretaker, you, and YAEY FRIEND, but i imagine it'll be better after that.
ps it'll probably help if your dog sees you interact with caretaker in a favorable way -- e.g. you play with dog with toy, then hand toy to caretaker and they do the same. or you both meet at the dog park for a little bit. building trust and all that.
posted by =d.b= at 7:40 AM on November 13, 2018 [2 favorites]