Care package ideas?
October 31, 2018 1:04 PM Subscribe
A friend is having a hysterectomy tomorrow and I'm putting together a care package (plus dinner), I'd love suggestions beyond wine and chocolate.
I had a hysto last year, and seconding the prepared meals and healthy snacks. Those were a Godsend.
A couple of other suggestions: They may be in bed for a while, and thus get bored easily. I certainly did. Something like a Netflix gift certificate and/or some fun coloring books with pencils might brighten up their day. Also, puzzle books/magazines! Personally, I whittled away the time with Sudoku.
If you want to splurge, maybe something like a Kindle, and a gift certificate for some books they might want. (Also, some libraries have Kindle formatted books that can be checked out for free, and downloaded right on to the device.)
posted by spinifex23 at 1:32 PM on October 31, 2018 [2 favorites]
A couple of other suggestions: They may be in bed for a while, and thus get bored easily. I certainly did. Something like a Netflix gift certificate and/or some fun coloring books with pencils might brighten up their day. Also, puzzle books/magazines! Personally, I whittled away the time with Sudoku.
If you want to splurge, maybe something like a Kindle, and a gift certificate for some books they might want. (Also, some libraries have Kindle formatted books that can be checked out for free, and downloaded right on to the device.)
posted by spinifex23 at 1:32 PM on October 31, 2018 [2 favorites]
Yeah, depending on the surgical method (and the friendship): Capacol throat lozenges, Sennokot, stool softener; wine might not go well with her pain relief meds, and chocolate can be constipating. She can hold on to both for later in her recovery, of course.
Eye mask and foam earplugs for daytime sleeping. Slippers, slipper socks. Back scrubber for the shower. Craft supplies.
posted by Iris Gambol at 1:34 PM on October 31, 2018 [4 favorites]
Eye mask and foam earplugs for daytime sleeping. Slippers, slipper socks. Back scrubber for the shower. Craft supplies.
posted by Iris Gambol at 1:34 PM on October 31, 2018 [4 favorites]
Voucher for housework assistance - your own or a cleaning service. And seconding the best fuzzy blanket - and socks - you can find.
posted by I claim sanctuary at 1:44 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by I claim sanctuary at 1:44 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]
My favorite things were my ice pack and my "boyfriend" pillow -- you know, the kind with the sort of arms on either side? Trader Joe's has great prepared and frozen meals that I lived off after my mom went home after the first week. Yes to fuzzy socks and OMG, yes, housework assistance was necessary.
posted by fiercecupcake at 1:56 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by fiercecupcake at 1:56 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]
You are such a kind friend!
Peppermint tea is great for reducing bloating after surgery. Also, a hot water bottle might be nice. Depending on whether the hyst is laparascopic, abdominal, or vaginal, some big underwear might be nice, and perhaps a dark colored bath robe for comfort?
posted by stillmoving at 2:13 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]
Peppermint tea is great for reducing bloating after surgery. Also, a hot water bottle might be nice. Depending on whether the hyst is laparascopic, abdominal, or vaginal, some big underwear might be nice, and perhaps a dark colored bath robe for comfort?
posted by stillmoving at 2:13 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]
I don't have a uterus, but I did have gallbladder surgery earlier this year which involved recovery from an abdominal incision.
I did not feel like drinking wine afterwards. Prepared meals would be nice but again might not feel like eating anything particularly fancy for a while. And often the intubation for anesthesia leaves you with a sore throat for a while. I got through a lot of soup in the first few days of recovery.
Ice packs over heating pads; ice really helps with incision pain.
I found it painful getting in and out of bed and up and down from the sofa; not sure there's anything you can give that'd help with that though. (Maybe the clutch pillow that WCityMike suggests?)
I wasn't allowed to shower for a few days and that felt quite sweaty and grubby, so self-care products for hygiene might help. Also, I still felt quite wobbly and unstable during that first shower; it's an unglamorous gift, but a non-slip bath mat would have helped a lot. I ended up putting down a damp towel to stand on.
Similarly, fuzzy socks, yes, but get the ones with grippy sole pads.
Another unglamorous practicality: my post-op instructions strongly emphasized mobility during recovery, so I did my best to shuffle ouchily around the apartment. Maybe a FitBit or similar that would remind and/or encourage her to get mobile?
And hell yes, it's boring being stuck at home on the sofa/in bed. Movies / books / games.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 2:14 PM on October 31, 2018 [5 favorites]
I did not feel like drinking wine afterwards. Prepared meals would be nice but again might not feel like eating anything particularly fancy for a while. And often the intubation for anesthesia leaves you with a sore throat for a while. I got through a lot of soup in the first few days of recovery.
Ice packs over heating pads; ice really helps with incision pain.
I found it painful getting in and out of bed and up and down from the sofa; not sure there's anything you can give that'd help with that though. (Maybe the clutch pillow that WCityMike suggests?)
I wasn't allowed to shower for a few days and that felt quite sweaty and grubby, so self-care products for hygiene might help. Also, I still felt quite wobbly and unstable during that first shower; it's an unglamorous gift, but a non-slip bath mat would have helped a lot. I ended up putting down a damp towel to stand on.
Similarly, fuzzy socks, yes, but get the ones with grippy sole pads.
Another unglamorous practicality: my post-op instructions strongly emphasized mobility during recovery, so I did my best to shuffle ouchily around the apartment. Maybe a FitBit or similar that would remind and/or encourage her to get mobile?
And hell yes, it's boring being stuck at home on the sofa/in bed. Movies / books / games.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 2:14 PM on October 31, 2018 [5 favorites]
Pet care if she has a pet who needs walking/feeding. I had this surgery by laparotomy, and OMG I was in such pain for 2 days I needed help to sit up in bed and would have probably peed the bed if I didn't have help to the bathroom. My relative had the same surgery a few years ago and was up an about the next day with minimal pain, so while it's true you never know, I'd say it's pretty safe to consider activities that take a lot of moving around, and see how you might help. Food shopping, errand-running, pet-caring, laundry, etc. would all be places you might be able to help. Also perhaps picking up scripts from her pharmacy so she doesn't need to go get them.
This is so thoughtful of you!!
posted by citygirl at 2:16 PM on October 31, 2018 [8 favorites]
This is so thoughtful of you!!
posted by citygirl at 2:16 PM on October 31, 2018 [8 favorites]
Great suggestions above! I’ll add bottled water,
if she’s not allowed to lift heavy weight, taking a water pitcher out of the fridge can be tough. Plus, bottled water around the house provides easy access.
posted by Champagne Supernova at 2:21 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]
if she’s not allowed to lift heavy weight, taking a water pitcher out of the fridge can be tough. Plus, bottled water around the house provides easy access.
posted by Champagne Supernova at 2:21 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]
Big cotton pants- waist high ones - best tip I was given. And I am still wearing them three years later!
posted by Heloise9 at 2:32 PM on October 31, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Heloise9 at 2:32 PM on October 31, 2018 [2 favorites]
My partner found having a lap desk invaluable when she was recovering from her hysterectomy. It gave her a place to hold things (meds, snacks, TV remote) and also protected her abdomen from the pets who wanted to jump on her and cuddle.
My other recommendation depending on budget is a pair of slippers with some good grip on the soles. She was shuffling around for a week or so, and it was nice for her to have fuzzy slippers on her feet and nice for me to know that she had enough traction on the stairs.
posted by coppermoss at 2:34 PM on October 31, 2018 [7 favorites]
My other recommendation depending on budget is a pair of slippers with some good grip on the soles. She was shuffling around for a week or so, and it was nice for her to have fuzzy slippers on her feet and nice for me to know that she had enough traction on the stairs.
posted by coppermoss at 2:34 PM on October 31, 2018 [7 favorites]
I just remembered this: Handheld Bidet.
It's a squeeze bottle, with a long nozzle, for when you want to clean yourself after a bathroom visit, but reaching around with toilet paper is hard. I didn't get one of these until further along into my recovery, but it works quite well!
posted by spinifex23 at 3:01 PM on October 31, 2018 [2 favorites]
It's a squeeze bottle, with a long nozzle, for when you want to clean yourself after a bathroom visit, but reaching around with toilet paper is hard. I didn't get one of these until further along into my recovery, but it works quite well!
posted by spinifex23 at 3:01 PM on October 31, 2018 [2 favorites]
Good ideas upthread - I would add a picker-upper tool. It's hard to bend over if you've dropped something.
posted by sarajane at 3:36 PM on October 31, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by sarajane at 3:36 PM on October 31, 2018 [5 favorites]
Totally depends on your friend, but some people would appreciate a printed copy of https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3339661/ - especially if she's feeling at all depressed about it. Research is pretty clear on this - women have better moods after hysterectomies, so there's a lot to look forward to
posted by namesarehard at 3:47 PM on October 31, 2018
posted by namesarehard at 3:47 PM on October 31, 2018
A small pillow (around 12" x 16") that she can use to cushion between her body and a car seatbelt for the first couple of weeks; it's also useful to clutch for support in case of laughing or sneezing.
posted by zepheria at 4:28 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by zepheria at 4:28 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]
I always get my female friends who are ill a pashmima shawl in their favorite color, the softer the fabric, the better. They can drape it over themselves or wrap it around their shoulders when they are up to it, and it's like wearing a hug.
A playlist of their favorite - or your favorite - soothing music.
A stuffed animal, preferably a Squishable. Something about surgery can make people LOVE stuffed animals. I got my friend with major abdominal surgery a rainbow sparkly unicorn, and she loved it - and still talks about it, years later.
posted by dancing_angel at 4:35 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]
A playlist of their favorite - or your favorite - soothing music.
A stuffed animal, preferably a Squishable. Something about surgery can make people LOVE stuffed animals. I got my friend with major abdominal surgery a rainbow sparkly unicorn, and she loved it - and still talks about it, years later.
posted by dancing_angel at 4:35 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]
I've had a hysterectomy. I really hope someone can be there for her for the first few days at least.
My suggestions:
Prepared meals
healthy snacks
if she has Netflix or similar, consider a list of fun, lightweight movies and tv
hot water bottle or heating pad
a supply of the "nice" version of whatever she likes to drink that is relatively gentle - I don't know if you're supposed to have heavy caffeine like coffee after surgery, but that's ultimately up to her. Also something like hot chocolate, her favorite not too caffeinated tea, or apple cider might be good
I'm going to vote against wine since drinking while on painkillers is not a great idea.
Most important, if she's local, go hang out. The recovery process can be boring, and even with a laparoscopic procedure it's slow and painful.
posted by bile and syntax at 4:53 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]
My suggestions:
Prepared meals
healthy snacks
if she has Netflix or similar, consider a list of fun, lightweight movies and tv
hot water bottle or heating pad
a supply of the "nice" version of whatever she likes to drink that is relatively gentle - I don't know if you're supposed to have heavy caffeine like coffee after surgery, but that's ultimately up to her. Also something like hot chocolate, her favorite not too caffeinated tea, or apple cider might be good
I'm going to vote against wine since drinking while on painkillers is not a great idea.
Most important, if she's local, go hang out. The recovery process can be boring, and even with a laparoscopic procedure it's slow and painful.
posted by bile and syntax at 4:53 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]
Baby wipes, facial blotters, and dry shampoo. I just did not have the energy to shower for a while and I was pretty unsteady anyway.
posted by Ruki at 8:43 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Ruki at 8:43 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]
I had a hysto a few years ago -- the suggestions in this thread are sound, although for me a lap desk would've been really uncomfortable & unnecessary (I tended to just gently prop myself up & use an iPad in bed instead, which worked for me).
I think a meal delivery service would be amazing for a week or two (also assuming your friend has someone there who can accept delivery of the box & put the meals away for her) -- a friend did that for me during my recovery for two weeks & it was so nice to have varied, interesting, more complicated meals than I would have been able to manage for myself.
Also hmmmm maybe something small but pamper-y feeling, like very nice scented hand cream &/or a little bottle of essential oil? Super-nice cozy pajamas (nothing constricting!) since your friend will be living in them for a bit -- you can never have too many pairs.
posted by diffuse at 2:39 AM on November 1, 2018
I think a meal delivery service would be amazing for a week or two (also assuming your friend has someone there who can accept delivery of the box & put the meals away for her) -- a friend did that for me during my recovery for two weeks & it was so nice to have varied, interesting, more complicated meals than I would have been able to manage for myself.
Also hmmmm maybe something small but pamper-y feeling, like very nice scented hand cream &/or a little bottle of essential oil? Super-nice cozy pajamas (nothing constricting!) since your friend will be living in them for a bit -- you can never have too many pairs.
posted by diffuse at 2:39 AM on November 1, 2018
dancing_angel reminded me: I can definitely second this, if you know that your friend wouldn't feel... infantilized? by it:
A stuffed animal, preferably a Squishable. Something about surgery can make people LOVE stuffed animals. I got my friend with major abdominal surgery a rainbow sparkly unicorn, and she loved it - and still talks about it, years later.
I have a stuffed mandrake I made myself that really became my buddy during recovering from my hysterectomy. I could hold it but could also use it to prop my head in a comfortable position while trying to sleep on my back and later, my side. I was surprised by just how much comfort it could give. I had some post-surgery depression and I cried a bit with my li'l mandrake. Feelings can be so topsy-turvy during this time.
posted by fiercecupcake at 6:55 AM on November 1, 2018
A stuffed animal, preferably a Squishable. Something about surgery can make people LOVE stuffed animals. I got my friend with major abdominal surgery a rainbow sparkly unicorn, and she loved it - and still talks about it, years later.
I have a stuffed mandrake I made myself that really became my buddy during recovering from my hysterectomy. I could hold it but could also use it to prop my head in a comfortable position while trying to sleep on my back and later, my side. I was surprised by just how much comfort it could give. I had some post-surgery depression and I cried a bit with my li'l mandrake. Feelings can be so topsy-turvy during this time.
posted by fiercecupcake at 6:55 AM on November 1, 2018
This thread is closed to new comments.
Prepared meals
Healthy snacks that don't need refrigeration- natural granola bars, dried fruits, coconut water
Bendy straws (there are metal ones on amazon)
Fuzzy soft blanket
Pyjama onesie with no waistband
You're so kind!
posted by pseudostrabismus at 1:11 PM on October 31, 2018 [3 favorites]