I need help breaking a bad habit.
June 19, 2018 9:04 AM Subscribe
The specific bad-habit-of-the-day for me is obsessively checking online news, political websites, twitter, etc. The content is getting me very depressed. I am retired, so there are few compelling time or other constraints on the amount of attention I pay to all this. I need to stop.
I note this could be any habit, including, say, smoking (which I quit doing about 35 years ago; I think it was fear of dying a terrible yet preventable -- if only I had quit cigarettes -- death that motivated me).
I am looking mostly for hacks, but any advice is welcome. By hacks, I mean something like, set aside some cash (say, $20) in a bowl, and every time I go to one of my news/political websites, I have to "pay" for it with $1 from the bowl. At the end of the day, I can set aside whatever is left in the bowl to buy myself a treat. This could be a digital "bowl" as well. As I am typing this, it occurs to me that I have read about websites that operate that way -- get you to commit $$ and penalize or reward you depending on what you do. Has anyone used one of those sites and found them to be helpful? Any other hacks or advice?
Thank you for considering my question!
I note this could be any habit, including, say, smoking (which I quit doing about 35 years ago; I think it was fear of dying a terrible yet preventable -- if only I had quit cigarettes -- death that motivated me).
I am looking mostly for hacks, but any advice is welcome. By hacks, I mean something like, set aside some cash (say, $20) in a bowl, and every time I go to one of my news/political websites, I have to "pay" for it with $1 from the bowl. At the end of the day, I can set aside whatever is left in the bowl to buy myself a treat. This could be a digital "bowl" as well. As I am typing this, it occurs to me that I have read about websites that operate that way -- get you to commit $$ and penalize or reward you depending on what you do. Has anyone used one of those sites and found them to be helpful? Any other hacks or advice?
Thank you for considering my question!
Would picking up a new, fun, time consuming hobby help limit the time you spend on this bad habit?
posted by triscuit at 9:27 AM on June 19, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by triscuit at 9:27 AM on June 19, 2018 [3 favorites]
Are you interested in reading books? I find sometimes that I'm scratching the itch of reading when I'm obsessively checking websites and if I switch to an actual book, the itch goes away.
posted by cooker girl at 9:28 AM on June 19, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by cooker girl at 9:28 AM on June 19, 2018 [4 favorites]
I edited my hosts file to keep me off time-wasting websites. It definitely worked. I realized it came down to habit and muscle memory - typing in a URL to a time-wasting site when I had a spare moment or wanted a break from work. Once I saw it was blocked, everytime there was a moment of "Oh yeah, I blocked this site" and then I moved on. Since I couldn't remember the exact directions of how to edit the hosts file again to unblock the websites, it was a good barrier that is not permanent. There are also browser extensions like LeechBlock as well, but if you edit your hosts file, it blocks websites across all browsers.
Also, if the content you read on Twitter is depressing you, follow some new stuff and unfollow the depressing stuff. You can put news outlets into a list that you have to go out of your way to check but won't be there as soon as you open the webpage or app. Twitter is best when it's fun, for me. I follow a lot of accounts about soccer and food.
posted by AppleTurnover at 9:44 AM on June 19, 2018
Also, if the content you read on Twitter is depressing you, follow some new stuff and unfollow the depressing stuff. You can put news outlets into a list that you have to go out of your way to check but won't be there as soon as you open the webpage or app. Twitter is best when it's fun, for me. I follow a lot of accounts about soccer and food.
posted by AppleTurnover at 9:44 AM on June 19, 2018
Could you consider cutting back on screen time altogether? For example, setting aside a specific time in the day when you are going to go online--and check all the news websites etc--and then figuring out plans for the day that keep you offline except during that time slot? Examples of things to do might instead reading books, going for walks, calling friends, cooking, gardening, doing jigsaw puzzles--I find that the depressing/dispiriting effect of online Bad News is very specifically offset, for me, by tasks that involve physical stuff I can hold in my hands (even if it's just turning the pages of a physical book). It might be the same for you.
In terms of the hacks you mention, I have in the past used beeminder, but it didn't really work for me. I also know my sister tried promising her husband she would donate money to a dumb cause (not an actively malevolent one, just one she didn't think added much value to the world) when she stayed online too long, and it didn't work for her either. YMMV, but I tend to find that approaches that penalise me for doing something don't really work, whereas rewards do. For example, I do sometimes pay myself a tiny amount of money for achieving goals--i.e. move £1 from my current account to a savings account every day that I meet my exercise/healthy eating/sleep goals, with the aim of eventually spending the pot of money that accumulates there on something frivolous and fun. I've found this works marginally better than financial penalties but not as well as substituting some intrinsically pleasurable activity or thing for the Forbidden Thing I'm trying to avoid (healthy food that I actually like, a sleep routine that I enjoy, walks through nice new routes as exercise etc).
posted by Aravis76 at 9:48 AM on June 19, 2018
In terms of the hacks you mention, I have in the past used beeminder, but it didn't really work for me. I also know my sister tried promising her husband she would donate money to a dumb cause (not an actively malevolent one, just one she didn't think added much value to the world) when she stayed online too long, and it didn't work for her either. YMMV, but I tend to find that approaches that penalise me for doing something don't really work, whereas rewards do. For example, I do sometimes pay myself a tiny amount of money for achieving goals--i.e. move £1 from my current account to a savings account every day that I meet my exercise/healthy eating/sleep goals, with the aim of eventually spending the pot of money that accumulates there on something frivolous and fun. I've found this works marginally better than financial penalties but not as well as substituting some intrinsically pleasurable activity or thing for the Forbidden Thing I'm trying to avoid (healthy food that I actually like, a sleep routine that I enjoy, walks through nice new routes as exercise etc).
posted by Aravis76 at 9:48 AM on June 19, 2018
I had the same issue.
I knew that if I was going to change my browsing habits, I first needed to see the hard data of just how LONG I was spending at these sites.
For this, I used an extension for Chrome called Web Timer.
After installing it and turning it on, I went about my business as usual for a week.
THEN I took at look at the numbers.
HOLY CRAP was I wasting a lot of time at stupid ass sites.
Some sites were legit (banking, etc) so I whitelisted those as the extension instructs.
Finally, I decided that 2 hours a day total was a good number to shoot for, and I check on a pretty regular basis during the day to see how much time I have left. This is strictly on the honor system, but I do not reset the numbers, I work at getting my time down.
My eventual goal? One hour a day. It's doable, but challenging.
posted by Major Matt Mason Dixon at 9:58 AM on June 19, 2018 [8 favorites]
I knew that if I was going to change my browsing habits, I first needed to see the hard data of just how LONG I was spending at these sites.
For this, I used an extension for Chrome called Web Timer.
After installing it and turning it on, I went about my business as usual for a week.
THEN I took at look at the numbers.
HOLY CRAP was I wasting a lot of time at stupid ass sites.
Some sites were legit (banking, etc) so I whitelisted those as the extension instructs.
Finally, I decided that 2 hours a day total was a good number to shoot for, and I check on a pretty regular basis during the day to see how much time I have left. This is strictly on the honor system, but I do not reset the numbers, I work at getting my time down.
My eventual goal? One hour a day. It's doable, but challenging.
posted by Major Matt Mason Dixon at 9:58 AM on June 19, 2018 [8 favorites]
Perhaps the pomodoro technique would be a low-tech way to self-limit your screen time?
posted by Wild_Eep at 10:01 AM on June 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Wild_Eep at 10:01 AM on June 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
It's not really a trick, but I have hobbies that require my hands and eyes. Gardening (in my case, farming, but whatever) and sewing. Cooking/baking to some extent as well. I have a good lineup of podcasts and TV shows that keep me entertained mentally while I do my hobby.
Also, I started reading more by just reading. I went back for an old favorite (Jane Austen) and that helped me set down some reading grooves again that I had gotten away from.
Those 2 things have helped me, but good luck - I think many of us are in the same struggle.
posted by Emmy Rae at 10:57 AM on June 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
Also, I started reading more by just reading. I went back for an old favorite (Jane Austen) and that helped me set down some reading grooves again that I had gotten away from.
Those 2 things have helped me, but good luck - I think many of us are in the same struggle.
posted by Emmy Rae at 10:57 AM on June 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
What worked for me was StayFocusd limited to ten min a day per computer (blocking the blue, twitter but not my extremely curated tweetdeck, facebook, and HuffPo). I took all social media apps off my phone and eventually deleted my facebook altogether (which ended up involving a lot of time-consuming personal life maintenance, so.... yay?) I complained a lot to my friends about how these things were predictable anxiety triggers until my friends started yelling at me when I was like "so I was reading on Metafilter that..." which added a powerful engine of shame. I began intensively learning a new language, so if I fell down the rabbit hole of news I could be like "wait you should be practicing Spanish right now." And I started committing to concrete actions that happened in real life so like-- if I miss the exact news update, at least I know that this week I did x thing, which is still good and necessary.
This is still a problem for me! But it's much less of a problem than it was.
posted by peppercorn at 11:29 AM on June 19, 2018 [3 favorites]
This is still a problem for me! But it's much less of a problem than it was.
posted by peppercorn at 11:29 AM on June 19, 2018 [3 favorites]
I use freedom as well. They have pre-generated blocklists for common politics and news websites, as well as other categories, plus you can add your own sites *cough* metafilter *cough*. I block off parts of my mornings and evenings, and overnight I block all websites so I will actually go to bed instead of refreshing Twitter at 1 am. The best part is that you can put it on your mobile devices as well as your computer. No checking the New York Times in the bathroom.
posted by AFABulous at 12:25 PM on June 19, 2018
posted by AFABulous at 12:25 PM on June 19, 2018
It might also be worthwhile for you to turn off notifications on your phone. You can do so in settings for each individual app. Personally, I let Instagram stay because I enjoy it but I turned the NPR off because it was too much. I still go, but I chose when I read instead of getting swept up.
posted by Bistyfrass at 12:29 PM on June 19, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Bistyfrass at 12:29 PM on June 19, 2018 [2 favorites]
If you wanted to do something like the money reward, you could use RescueTime, which tracks which websites you visit and shows you a "productivity score" (e.g. news and opinion sites are bad, learning to code is good). You can also set goals, like less than one hour on distracting time, or more than 3 hours on productive sites. It won't do the money thing for you, but you can tell yourself you'll buy an ice cream if you meet your goals, or whatever.
posted by AFABulous at 12:29 PM on June 19, 2018
posted by AFABulous at 12:29 PM on June 19, 2018
I’ve been using Mastodon with retweets turned off as Twitter methadone. There’s enough new stuff to scratch that I NEED NEW CONTENT itch but it runs out much sooner, and there’s a culture of putting stuff that can stress people out behind content warnings.
I also have a large ongoing project that gives me something to do with my brain and hands, when I’m not in that state where I’m just sitting there with the tablet endlessly refreshing the same five websites in a low energy state.
I find it also helps to simply recognize when I am in that Endlessly Refreshing The Same Sites Looking For New Content loop, and get up and out SOMETHING else. It’s easier to detect this if there are some sites that are second-tier distractions: “oh geez I am so desperate for New
Content that I just typed ‘slashdot’ in the address bar on autopilot” has become a trigger for me to close the browser tab, get up, and do SOMETHING that involves an explicit decision to do it, instead of mindlessly browsing the web.
Also just finding Sometthing To Do might help. You say you’re retired. What did you always dream of doing if you didn’t have that day job eating up your life? Start doing it. If it’s using a skill you already have, then just start laying your plans and doing he thing. If it’s something you always wanted to do then find classes, ideally ones outside of the house, suddenly you have a schedule that’ll take you outside sometimes. Or start volunteering for something, that’s a common thing to see retired people doing...l
posted by egypturnash at 1:33 PM on June 19, 2018 [2 favorites]
I also have a large ongoing project that gives me something to do with my brain and hands, when I’m not in that state where I’m just sitting there with the tablet endlessly refreshing the same five websites in a low energy state.
I find it also helps to simply recognize when I am in that Endlessly Refreshing The Same Sites Looking For New Content loop, and get up and out SOMETHING else. It’s easier to detect this if there are some sites that are second-tier distractions: “oh geez I am so desperate for New
Content that I just typed ‘slashdot’ in the address bar on autopilot” has become a trigger for me to close the browser tab, get up, and do SOMETHING that involves an explicit decision to do it, instead of mindlessly browsing the web.
Also just finding Sometthing To Do might help. You say you’re retired. What did you always dream of doing if you didn’t have that day job eating up your life? Start doing it. If it’s using a skill you already have, then just start laying your plans and doing he thing. If it’s something you always wanted to do then find classes, ideally ones outside of the house, suddenly you have a schedule that’ll take you outside sometimes. Or start volunteering for something, that’s a common thing to see retired people doing...l
posted by egypturnash at 1:33 PM on June 19, 2018 [2 favorites]
Go outside and do things without your device, or with your device completely powered down.
For me this happens in yoga class or hiking, but just going to a park to read an actual physical book would MORE than do it. Make this thing you do w/out a device powered on your new habit.
posted by jbenben at 3:00 PM on June 19, 2018
For me this happens in yoga class or hiking, but just going to a park to read an actual physical book would MORE than do it. Make this thing you do w/out a device powered on your new habit.
posted by jbenben at 3:00 PM on June 19, 2018
Another freedom user. On my laptop I use Rest Software to enforce 15 minute breaks every 45 minutes.
Then I make sure that there's something else ready for me to do when the screen goes dark for 15 minutes. I keep an interesting book nearby. My craft hobby is spread out just waiting for me to pick up the pliers.
I also force myself to leave the house at least every other day.
posted by Jesse the K at 3:51 PM on June 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
Then I make sure that there's something else ready for me to do when the screen goes dark for 15 minutes. I keep an interesting book nearby. My craft hobby is spread out just waiting for me to pick up the pliers.
I also force myself to leave the house at least every other day.
posted by Jesse the K at 3:51 PM on June 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
I second the suggestion of blocking a site in the hosts file (and I'm someone comfortable editing it without having to google). Also remove the sites from autocomplete in the browser (highlight in the dropdown and then shift + delete?).
posted by hoyland at 5:37 PM on June 19, 2018
posted by hoyland at 5:37 PM on June 19, 2018
Response by poster: Thank you all for the amazing, helpful responses. They are exactly what I was looking for. MeFites are the best.
posted by merejane at 8:05 AM on June 20, 2018
posted by merejane at 8:05 AM on June 20, 2018
After the 2016 election, I needed a break from news and other websites. I still had to be online during the workday because of my job. To stop myself from compulsively going to news sites, I started reading classic books at Project Gutenberg. I had a destination on the web to go to instead of my regular sites. I read quite a few excellent books by authors I'd noticed in the past but had never made to time to read. Another plus, the books were free.
posted by narancia at 10:38 AM on June 20, 2018
posted by narancia at 10:38 AM on June 20, 2018
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by lilies.lilies at 9:13 AM on June 19, 2018 [4 favorites]