Foods for Grief

June 1, 2018 1:16 PM

Last week I posted a question about coming to terms with the terminal illness of a parent. This question is related to that one (I'm on a mobile so I'm not going to include a link) in that I need suggestions on what to eat and drink during this time.

I need suggestions on what to eat at this time that would help to reduce stress and anxiety and increase my energy levels, so I can cut back on the coffee and the drinking. I know that nobody here is my nutritionist. I also know that I should not be drinking at all, that I should be cutting sugar and carbs from white bread, and keeping coffee to a minimum. Fine. What I am looking for are recommendations for foods specifically known to reduce stress and increase energy, things I haven't thought of or considered, that are also natural. (By natural, I mean, nothing like Quest Bars or 5 Hour Energy Drinks, please, or, though yes, meat is natural, I don't eat it.) If it's something that you tried and actually helped you, even better, tell me how. I have done a lot of research on my own but I am hoping for ideas and perspectives I have not of. Thanks.

posted by Armed Only With Hubris to Food & Drink (10 answers total)

Carbs actually have somewhat of a sedative effect and contribute towards serotonin production, hence the concept of "comfort foods." Combined with a high fat, high protein/amino acid diet, this is probably your best bet in managing high stress, short-term periods through diet alone. B complex vitamins are also important in the bodies stress management processes. Avoid stimulants such as caffiene and processed sugars. Stress can also increase acidity through production of lactic acid, so an alkalizing diet may help as well.
posted by OnefortheLast at 1:38 PM on June 1, 2018 [1 favorite]

Not food per se (you'd have to eat like 20 oranges a day) but I read a study where 1g vitamin c a day helped reduce stress
posted by missmagenta at 1:46 PM on June 1, 2018

Almonds, blueberries, dark leafy greens, dark chocolate in moderation. If you're near a Sweetgreen, I really like their salads with tofu (I get spinach and wild rice, apples, sweet potatoes, onions, cucumbers, sesame tofu, and miso dressing). I also really like blueberry-soy milk smoothies. Beyond food, exercise outside in nature can really help with energy and reducing stress.
posted by pinochiette at 1:57 PM on June 1, 2018

I necessarily can't be specific because it's too personal, but I strongly recommend you eat things you like well enough but don't love. that is because things associated with terrible and stressful times can come back to you with memories attached for a long time after. I'm sure this doesn't happen to everyone, but there are harmless things I can still barely look at in grocery stores, never mind eat. this is dumb as hell but there it is. especially relevant if the ill person is still able to eat and you are involved in that at all.

Those microwave steam-in-a-bag frozen mixed vegetable things are good when you have no time for cooking and want real food.
posted by queenofbithynia at 2:15 PM on June 1, 2018 [12 favorites]

In my experience the most important thing is to keep my blood sugar stable -- to get some protein/fat/fiber in the morning and to keep eating regularly throughout the day. When my blood sugar drops or I get too many carbs without other macronutrients it is a recipe for breakthrough distress.

Eating a solid breakfast is the most important element in this plan. I am not a morning person and I'm not really hungry in the morning but solid breakfasts make a serious difference. Either a smoothie (I like protein powder, avocado, milk, banana, berries -- and here are some other anti-stress smoothie recipes) or a breakfast salad topped with eggs (I like shredded cabbage and avocado and fried eggs with sauerkraut juice as a dressing). The important part is to get the protein, fat and fiber.

Oatmeal is really soothing too. It has B vitamins, magnesium and fiber and is sort of a naturally sedating breakfast food.

Then carrying a little bag of nuts -- almonds, walnuts, cashews -- and snacking on them throughout the day. A hardboiled egg or a string cheese is nice too. Or a small amount of dark chocolate.

A multivitamin and magnesium supplements both might help too.

Sorry you are going through this.
posted by hungrytiger at 3:31 PM on June 1, 2018 [2 favorites]

Fish oil is pretty good for your brain, so I would recommend some fatty, ethical fish.

When I'm grieving or under stress I tend to want to eat like a kid so I try to eat high-value versions like...Ezekiel bread with almond butter instead of white bread with peanut butter. High-quality butternut squash or roasted tomato soup. I'll go ahead and recommend the ubiquitous avocado toast too, or smoked salmon on whole grain flat bread.

I don't drink any more really but when I'm craving a drink-like drink I drink Kombucha - the less-sugary, more gingery kind.

But I will also say that when I was grieving, the best food was made by those who loved me. I don't know why, but having that combination of food-made-with-love and food-not-like-I-make made it even possible to eat. So don't be shy about putting the word out to your friends.

I know this is super woo woo nonsense but if you don't have friends that can come to your aid I would look for local, small business owners who make food they love...near me I'm thinking of two little hole-in-the-wall places, one Indian and one Mexican where the food is just plain old homestyle yum. Or the Italian hot counter where the guy gives kids free cookies and they also have lasagna and other things to go.
posted by warriorqueen at 4:06 PM on June 1, 2018 [2 favorites]

As a hospice caregiver volunteer, I notice that families forget to drink enough water.
posted by janey47 at 4:21 PM on June 1, 2018 [4 favorites]

There are some great suggestions in this thread but I want to add that while it’s great you want to take care of yourself, it’s really important to take a gentle approach to this.

You may be completely different, but for me, when I was in the same position, eating healthy went quickly from an honest attempt at feeling better to an unhealthy preoccupation with the one thing I felt I could control in a period of time where nothing else seemed to make sense. This led to a lot of unnecessary self-criticism and some very disordered eating.

Basically, eat what makes you feel good and strong and cut yourself some slack if that’s not the same as what you’re ‘supposed’ to be eating.
posted by scrute at 4:31 PM on June 1, 2018 [3 favorites]

Babybel cheese or string cheese with a green apple (eaten in alternating bites) is my go-to snack. Healthy and portable, and those packages cheeses are ok being stored out of the fridge for a day or so. Sending you good vibes.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 5:19 PM on June 1, 2018

The thing I found most comforting and filling when I wasn't eating well in the days leading up to my mom's death was dark chocolate almond milk.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 9:18 PM on June 1, 2018