One bark over the line...
May 18, 2018 8:09 AM Subscribe
Sweet Jesus, I was shocked awake this morning at 4:58 a.m. by my neighbor's dog barking right outside my bedroom window. This is far from the first time this has happened. I am going to send her an email today but don't know what to put in it, what tone to take. I want to be firm, but not come off as unhinged even though I'm seething and dead tired. What things should I say and what should I not say?
I've read a bunch of the previous barking dogs questions and they have good advice. In particular one commenter pointed out the book Crucial Confrontations, which I've picked up and flipped through. Apparently, I'm not supposed to mention that others in the neighborhood are totally annoyed by all of the barking too. Okay, I'll confine the complaints to myself and my wife.
A little background: neighbor is female doctor who downsized from extremely large home on large piece of property to our little neighborhood of bungalows on 40 foot lots that are very close together. She moved her dogs into the house next door and they lived there for a full year before she ever moved in, during which time the house was getting an extreme makeover. She or several employee caretakers would come by three or four times per day to water and feed the dogs, but for the most part they were totally left alone in the yard all day. One of the dogs is a trained boxer guard dog. He barks extremely loudly at any person or vehicle that comes within his vicinity. We have made friends with the dogs and they listen to us when we shout at them to stop barking, but the male dog is apparently supposed to be barking at any perceived threat, even when it is a mom with a baby in a stroller walking down the sidewalk. The neighbor told my wife she needs the guard dog because she's a woman living alone. We live in a neighborhood with an almost nonexistent level of crime, let alone violent crime. We often leave our doors unlocked. Neighbor has an alarm system/service and brand new security-centric windows and doors on house.
Early on when the dogs became our neighbors, they'd be left alone barking at 6 a.m. through the day until 11 p.m. or later. We contacted the homeowner who was blissfully unaware of any of this (she was living at her other house) and told her the early and late barking had to stop. She apologized and said she'd take care of it. We were aghast to see the boxer with a shock collar on the next morning. We mentioned the collar and she said he knows not to bark with it on and we shouldn't be worried about him.
Fast forward about 18 months and the barking has steadily returned. For some reason, we've just been gritting it out. Neighbor leaves for work at irregular hours often early in the morning and usually lets the dogs out beforehand. It's spring in the midwest U.S. and it is nice to sleep with the windows open. That is until a vicious dog nearly gives you a heart attack at 5:56 a.m. when you think it is a foot from your head. We've been sleeping with the windows closed for the last week.
Anyway, I've been typing my email in my mind for months now and just festering over this. I'm not sure why I haven't sent it sooner, but many of the iterations have really cutting lines in them that are probably overkill. Do I mention something like her paranoia about crime shouldn't cause us to lose sleep? Do I mention I have mostly stopped working from home because I can't do conference calls or focus with loud barking that is inescapable? Do I mention the psychic trauma this has caused where I'm laying in bed wondering when the barking might start again? Do I mention the fact that these dogs in over two years have never left the house/yard to be taken on a walk? Should I mention the city's "quiet hours" ordinance between 10 p.m. and 7 a.m.? Should I tell her that going forward I will call the police when there's barking between these hours? Should I tell her that I'm going to start keeping a journal of every barking episode regardless of time? All of these things are true, but I don't know what exactly to say in the email to her.
The book Crucial Confrontations focuses on having a difficult conversation in the hopes of strengthening and maintaining a relationship. I have to live next door to this person, but i really don't care a lick if we're on good terms. I just want the barking to stop.
I've read a bunch of the previous barking dogs questions and they have good advice. In particular one commenter pointed out the book Crucial Confrontations, which I've picked up and flipped through. Apparently, I'm not supposed to mention that others in the neighborhood are totally annoyed by all of the barking too. Okay, I'll confine the complaints to myself and my wife.
A little background: neighbor is female doctor who downsized from extremely large home on large piece of property to our little neighborhood of bungalows on 40 foot lots that are very close together. She moved her dogs into the house next door and they lived there for a full year before she ever moved in, during which time the house was getting an extreme makeover. She or several employee caretakers would come by three or four times per day to water and feed the dogs, but for the most part they were totally left alone in the yard all day. One of the dogs is a trained boxer guard dog. He barks extremely loudly at any person or vehicle that comes within his vicinity. We have made friends with the dogs and they listen to us when we shout at them to stop barking, but the male dog is apparently supposed to be barking at any perceived threat, even when it is a mom with a baby in a stroller walking down the sidewalk. The neighbor told my wife she needs the guard dog because she's a woman living alone. We live in a neighborhood with an almost nonexistent level of crime, let alone violent crime. We often leave our doors unlocked. Neighbor has an alarm system/service and brand new security-centric windows and doors on house.
Early on when the dogs became our neighbors, they'd be left alone barking at 6 a.m. through the day until 11 p.m. or later. We contacted the homeowner who was blissfully unaware of any of this (she was living at her other house) and told her the early and late barking had to stop. She apologized and said she'd take care of it. We were aghast to see the boxer with a shock collar on the next morning. We mentioned the collar and she said he knows not to bark with it on and we shouldn't be worried about him.
Fast forward about 18 months and the barking has steadily returned. For some reason, we've just been gritting it out. Neighbor leaves for work at irregular hours often early in the morning and usually lets the dogs out beforehand. It's spring in the midwest U.S. and it is nice to sleep with the windows open. That is until a vicious dog nearly gives you a heart attack at 5:56 a.m. when you think it is a foot from your head. We've been sleeping with the windows closed for the last week.
Anyway, I've been typing my email in my mind for months now and just festering over this. I'm not sure why I haven't sent it sooner, but many of the iterations have really cutting lines in them that are probably overkill. Do I mention something like her paranoia about crime shouldn't cause us to lose sleep? Do I mention I have mostly stopped working from home because I can't do conference calls or focus with loud barking that is inescapable? Do I mention the psychic trauma this has caused where I'm laying in bed wondering when the barking might start again? Do I mention the fact that these dogs in over two years have never left the house/yard to be taken on a walk? Should I mention the city's "quiet hours" ordinance between 10 p.m. and 7 a.m.? Should I tell her that going forward I will call the police when there's barking between these hours? Should I tell her that I'm going to start keeping a journal of every barking episode regardless of time? All of these things are true, but I don't know what exactly to say in the email to her.
The book Crucial Confrontations focuses on having a difficult conversation in the hopes of strengthening and maintaining a relationship. I have to live next door to this person, but i really don't care a lick if we're on good terms. I just want the barking to stop.
Take a hot shower and go out for a nice breakfast. DO NOT CONTACT HER NOW.
Trust me on this ;))
Doggie day care exists, and she needs dog care for her unsupervised dogs. It is the kindest solution. Someone here needs to give you advice on how to effect this change in her behavior, but the good news here is she can afford it and this great solution exits!
posted by jbenben at 8:32 AM on May 18, 2018 [10 favorites]
Trust me on this ;))
Doggie day care exists, and she needs dog care for her unsupervised dogs. It is the kindest solution. Someone here needs to give you advice on how to effect this change in her behavior, but the good news here is she can afford it and this great solution exits!
posted by jbenben at 8:32 AM on May 18, 2018 [10 favorites]
i'd say something no more complex than "hey neighbor, your dog was barking at 5am and woke me up. This happens pretty often. Could you do something about it? Thank you."
posted by zippy at 8:50 AM on May 18, 2018 [31 favorites]
posted by zippy at 8:50 AM on May 18, 2018 [31 favorites]
Ugh, I'm sorry you're dealing with this! I'm a dog lover (and owner) but I have zero patience for people who inflict their dogs' shitty behavior on the neighbors.
Do I mention something like her paranoia about crime shouldn't cause us to lose sleep?
No, absolutely not. Any comment about her paranoia or mental health is going to make her less likely to really read/absorb the rest of your message. Plus, commenting about those things is super rude! You have no way of knowing about her past... she could have been a victim of a violent home invasion, for all you know. (Not that this justifies owning an uncontrollable dog, of course.)
Do I mention I have mostly stopped working from home because I can't do conference calls or focus with loud barking that is inescapable?
Yes, but only after you've mentioned that she is violating your town's noise ordinance.
Do I mention the psychic trauma this has caused where I'm laying in bed wondering when the barking might start again?
No. She's going to roll her eyes at this, I guarantee it.
Do I mention the fact that these dogs in over two years have never left the house/yard to be taken on a walk?
No again. It does seem like her dogs' lives aren't great, but this is not the space to bring it up. You're just going to make it less likely that she'll listen to you, and it certainly won't inspire her to change her behavior.
Should I mention the city's "quiet hours" ordinance between 10 p.m. and 7 a.m.? Should I tell her that going forward I will call the police when there's barking between these hours?
YES! Cite the specific ordinance and let her know you'll be calling animal control or the police non-emergency line (whichever your jurisdiction dictates) whenever you hear barking during those hours. Some jurisdictions also prohibit extended periods of barking during non-quiet hours, too, and if yours does you should mention that and tell her you'll be reporting that, too.
Should I tell her that I'm going to start keeping a journal of every barking episode regardless of time?
Eh, I wouldn't. Letting her know you plan to report it every time she violates the noise ordinance is sufficient.
posted by schroedingersgirl at 9:05 AM on May 18, 2018 [22 favorites]
Do I mention something like her paranoia about crime shouldn't cause us to lose sleep?
No, absolutely not. Any comment about her paranoia or mental health is going to make her less likely to really read/absorb the rest of your message. Plus, commenting about those things is super rude! You have no way of knowing about her past... she could have been a victim of a violent home invasion, for all you know. (Not that this justifies owning an uncontrollable dog, of course.)
Do I mention I have mostly stopped working from home because I can't do conference calls or focus with loud barking that is inescapable?
Yes, but only after you've mentioned that she is violating your town's noise ordinance.
Do I mention the psychic trauma this has caused where I'm laying in bed wondering when the barking might start again?
No. She's going to roll her eyes at this, I guarantee it.
Do I mention the fact that these dogs in over two years have never left the house/yard to be taken on a walk?
No again. It does seem like her dogs' lives aren't great, but this is not the space to bring it up. You're just going to make it less likely that she'll listen to you, and it certainly won't inspire her to change her behavior.
Should I mention the city's "quiet hours" ordinance between 10 p.m. and 7 a.m.? Should I tell her that going forward I will call the police when there's barking between these hours?
YES! Cite the specific ordinance and let her know you'll be calling animal control or the police non-emergency line (whichever your jurisdiction dictates) whenever you hear barking during those hours. Some jurisdictions also prohibit extended periods of barking during non-quiet hours, too, and if yours does you should mention that and tell her you'll be reporting that, too.
Should I tell her that I'm going to start keeping a journal of every barking episode regardless of time?
Eh, I wouldn't. Letting her know you plan to report it every time she violates the noise ordinance is sufficient.
posted by schroedingersgirl at 9:05 AM on May 18, 2018 [22 favorites]
Write her the most "I AM NOW SCREAMING AT YOU EVERYTHING THAT IS IN MY WEARY SOUL" email and don't send it. This communication should happen when you're feeling less in the heat of it.
posted by Smearcase at 9:08 AM on May 18, 2018 [6 favorites]
posted by Smearcase at 9:08 AM on May 18, 2018 [6 favorites]
Well, I wouldn't start in on her "paranoia" about crime. Everybody's perception of being in danger is different and based on past experiences, some of which could include living in very bad neighborhoods, or having a neighbor be shot and killed, in a nice neighborhood, in broad daylight. So I would not advise using that as a further basis for being resentful of what is already a very annoying situation. Chances are you'll come off as condescending and that is unlikely to improve matters.
Forget email. Try and have a conversation with her about it when you are calm. IME sometimes people really just forget something is annoying others and are willing to do something about it if reminded. Hopefully that is the case here, at least, that is the impression I get from your question.
posted by Crystal Fox at 9:12 AM on May 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
Forget email. Try and have a conversation with her about it when you are calm. IME sometimes people really just forget something is annoying others and are willing to do something about it if reminded. Hopefully that is the case here, at least, that is the impression I get from your question.
posted by Crystal Fox at 9:12 AM on May 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
I think if you can talk to her directly, you should. You should be honest and direct about the impact that it has on you. The fact that you dread the dog barking, you can't sleep with the window open, etc, are facts she can't argue and you should make sure she knows them, because she is causing them.
Now, as far as the other stuff, your feelings about the level of crime in the neighborhood, her level of care for the dogs, her privilege in having two homes -- those are your opinions, based on your limited perspective of her life and situation, and your (understandably) negative regard for her.
While you are not necessarily wrong, you could be, and bringing them up will only cause friction to your ultimate goal, which is to get her to make a change on your behalf. It is far better for her to want to take care of this problem than for her to feel forced to take care of it. Particularly because any threats to "force" her... calling the cops, reminding her of local noise ordinances, are relatively hollow. You could involve authorities, but it is questionable how effective they would be.
Maybe she is concerned for her safety because she was a victim of a violent crime once. Maybe she is being stalked. Maybe she promised a beloved family member to care for these dogs. She is a whole human with her own problems, too. That does not mean your grievances aren't totally valid. It only means you're mad and tired right now and aren't calmly looking at how to solve the problem.
Give it a little time, and when you're ready, be very direct and clear about how her behavior is affecting you, objectively. Remove anything that is opinion or character judgement based from your complaints. Tell her you need her to fix it. And use authorities as a very last result.
posted by pazazygeek at 9:23 AM on May 18, 2018 [7 favorites]
Now, as far as the other stuff, your feelings about the level of crime in the neighborhood, her level of care for the dogs, her privilege in having two homes -- those are your opinions, based on your limited perspective of her life and situation, and your (understandably) negative regard for her.
While you are not necessarily wrong, you could be, and bringing them up will only cause friction to your ultimate goal, which is to get her to make a change on your behalf. It is far better for her to want to take care of this problem than for her to feel forced to take care of it. Particularly because any threats to "force" her... calling the cops, reminding her of local noise ordinances, are relatively hollow. You could involve authorities, but it is questionable how effective they would be.
Maybe she is concerned for her safety because she was a victim of a violent crime once. Maybe she is being stalked. Maybe she promised a beloved family member to care for these dogs. She is a whole human with her own problems, too. That does not mean your grievances aren't totally valid. It only means you're mad and tired right now and aren't calmly looking at how to solve the problem.
Give it a little time, and when you're ready, be very direct and clear about how her behavior is affecting you, objectively. Remove anything that is opinion or character judgement based from your complaints. Tell her you need her to fix it. And use authorities as a very last result.
posted by pazazygeek at 9:23 AM on May 18, 2018 [7 favorites]
Get video with sound and timestamp. If you can show your city attorney how egregious the situation is, he "may" take action. I've had good luck with this, but YMMV.
If the city will not take action, you can sue her, but this will cost lots of money, with unpredictable results. Obviously, this is the nuclear option, to be used after all else has failed.
posted by H21 at 9:52 AM on May 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
If the city will not take action, you can sue her, but this will cost lots of money, with unpredictable results. Obviously, this is the nuclear option, to be used after all else has failed.
posted by H21 at 9:52 AM on May 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
Letting something fester like this and then escalating immediately to threats of lawsuits and calling the police is not a great way to move forward with your neighbor. Wouldn't the ideal situation be a neighbor who cares about you, likes you, and keeps their dogs from being assholes because they care? You shouldn't have let it fester this long, which is part of why you're so upset.
Start by talking to her about it, face to face. Clearly she was able to control the dogs barking once before, so she can do it again. Be very matter of fact about:
-the dog startling you awake regularly
-keeping your windows closed because of it when you'd prefer not to
-how the dog scares the neighbors when they're out walking
-how you cannot work from home because of the incessant noise
Don't mention:
-paranoia
-city ordinances
-keeping a record
-crime rates
-her odd hours
"Hi neighbor. I came over to talk to you because your dogs bark a lot and it's impacting our lives. [lay out the effects]."
See how she responds and how your lives improve and then go from there.
posted by purple_bird at 10:11 AM on May 18, 2018 [5 favorites]
Start by talking to her about it, face to face. Clearly she was able to control the dogs barking once before, so she can do it again. Be very matter of fact about:
-the dog startling you awake regularly
-keeping your windows closed because of it when you'd prefer not to
-how the dog scares the neighbors when they're out walking
-how you cannot work from home because of the incessant noise
Don't mention:
-paranoia
-city ordinances
-keeping a record
-crime rates
-her odd hours
"Hi neighbor. I came over to talk to you because your dogs bark a lot and it's impacting our lives. [lay out the effects]."
See how she responds and how your lives improve and then go from there.
posted by purple_bird at 10:11 AM on May 18, 2018 [5 favorites]
You’ve waited 18 months to talk to her again about it and it’s been a gradual return. I bet she’s thinking you’ve gotten used to it or it’s not that bad. After all, she did something about it when you asked before. I bet she’ll do it again. (Hopefully not a shock collar this time, but you don’t get a say in that.) No need to go in guns blazing when all available evidence points to her being clueless but well-intentioned.
posted by HotToddy at 11:35 AM on May 18, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by HotToddy at 11:35 AM on May 18, 2018 [3 favorites]
Don't be freaked out about the "shock collar". It's probably one of the ones that "warns" the dog first by vibrating, then maybe beeping, then a mild (like static electricity) shock when the dog barks. Sounds like she cares about/for the dogs so I doubt they are getting tortured with 100 volts every time they make a sound.
posted by Mr. Big Business at 11:41 AM on May 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Mr. Big Business at 11:41 AM on May 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Everyone, thanks so much for the excellent guidance. I've kind of calmed down now. A lot of stuff I typed in my question, I'd never actually bring up, but when you let bad feelings fester and grow, it isn't healthy and I was pretty worked up. I'll go have a chat with her next time I see her and let her know we keep getting woken up and we'd like it to stop. Hopefully she's reasonable about it. Thanks so much!
posted by fatedblue at 11:56 AM on May 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by fatedblue at 11:56 AM on May 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
Doggie day care exists, and she needs dog care for her unsupervised dogs.
I wouldn't suggest this, because it doesn't solve the problem of being woken up, unless she's going to leave them somewhere overnight and all day, in which case why have dogs at all?
posted by AFABulous at 12:00 PM on May 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
I wouldn't suggest this, because it doesn't solve the problem of being woken up, unless she's going to leave them somewhere overnight and all day, in which case why have dogs at all?
posted by AFABulous at 12:00 PM on May 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
It sounds like you are not interested in strategies that could be considered inhumane (e.g. the shock collar). However, if you can, you might look at sonic control devices in your yard. I had a neighbor/dog situation a few years ago (their dog would escape then mindlessly bark at their door right by my bedroom window). Neighbor and I already had a bad relationship, so instead of asking them to address the issue I experimented with battery powered outdoor devices that make a high-pitched annoying sound when they sense barking. This birdhouse-shaped model worked well for me, and I see that the choices available now are even more powerful and include plug-in options. Might be worth a try.
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 2:38 PM on May 18, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 2:38 PM on May 18, 2018 [4 favorites]
Should I tell her that I'm going to start keeping a journal of every barking episode regardless of time?
Eh, I wouldn't. Letting her know you plan to report it every time she violates the noise ordinance is sufficient.
In my jurisdiction, a written log of the barking (submitted by two neighbors) is what it takes to get the city to issue a fine.
posted by Rash at 9:32 PM on May 18, 2018
Eh, I wouldn't. Letting her know you plan to report it every time she violates the noise ordinance is sufficient.
In my jurisdiction, a written log of the barking (submitted by two neighbors) is what it takes to get the city to issue a fine.
posted by Rash at 9:32 PM on May 18, 2018
This is a very bad problem that has gone for far too long. It is past time to stop interacting with this person. Talk to Animal Control. There are ordinances about treatment of animals, and ways to enforce these laws (usually enforcement comes from the local Humane Society).
A person who would treat animals in her care the way she has been treating them will not - I can guarantee you - respond to any sort of reasonable behavior on your part. And since you have talked to her, and the problem continues, it's time to step back and let The Authorities handle it. That's why we have official rules, so we don't wear ourselves out trying to find the right thing to say, or keep journals, or look for ways to get a person with obvious personal problems to understand and to change.
posted by kestralwing at 3:20 AM on May 19, 2018
A person who would treat animals in her care the way she has been treating them will not - I can guarantee you - respond to any sort of reasonable behavior on your part. And since you have talked to her, and the problem continues, it's time to step back and let The Authorities handle it. That's why we have official rules, so we don't wear ourselves out trying to find the right thing to say, or keep journals, or look for ways to get a person with obvious personal problems to understand and to change.
posted by kestralwing at 3:20 AM on May 19, 2018
I'm the owner of 2 large dogs (albeit in a place where shock collars are illegal and where my dogs are only allowed 2 unnecessary barks in the garden before they have to come in).
The dog is literally already trained to not bark in a shock collar and in the past has ceased barking with its use so the owner already has one.
You just say to her, "hey, the dog has been barking in the wee small hours again, can you fix it like last time?". Problem solved. She doesn't need to know your lifestyle or preferences or feelings on it, it is universally accepted that dogs barking is annoying, city ordinances exist to prevent it because it's so universally accepted!
Just tell her, let her put the collar on or bring the dog inside 10pm-7am.
posted by intergalacticvelvet at 3:28 AM on May 19, 2018
The dog is literally already trained to not bark in a shock collar and in the past has ceased barking with its use so the owner already has one.
You just say to her, "hey, the dog has been barking in the wee small hours again, can you fix it like last time?". Problem solved. She doesn't need to know your lifestyle or preferences or feelings on it, it is universally accepted that dogs barking is annoying, city ordinances exist to prevent it because it's so universally accepted!
Just tell her, let her put the collar on or bring the dog inside 10pm-7am.
posted by intergalacticvelvet at 3:28 AM on May 19, 2018
Doggie day care exists, and she needs dog care for her unsupervised dogs.
I wouldn't suggest this, because it doesn't solve the problem of being woken up
No, doggie day care will wear out the dogs so that they're too tired to bark at night. They are probably not vicious killer dogs barking to cause psychic trauma. They are bored and under-excercised, understimulated dogs barking at 5am because they're not getting enough to do during reasonable hours. Doggie daycare is golden for this because it will wear a dog out. We used to joke that we got 2 days of benefit from one day of doggie daycare: one day when the dogs were out of our hair... and the next day when they were still sleeping off the exhaustion of 12 hours of running around with other dogs.
posted by TwoStride at 7:17 AM on May 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
Should I tell her that I'm going to start keeping a journal of every barking episode regardless of time?
> Eh, I wouldn't. Letting her know you plan to report it every time she violates the noise ordinance is sufficient.
>> In my jurisdiction, a written log of the barking (submitted by two neighbors) is what it takes to get the city to issue a fine.
I didn't say not to keep a journal. I said that there's no value in telling the neighbor that you'll be keeping the journal, since that's already pretty implicit if you say you're planning to report all violations of the noise ordinance.
posted by schroedingersgirl at 8:43 AM on May 19, 2018
> Eh, I wouldn't. Letting her know you plan to report it every time she violates the noise ordinance is sufficient.
>> In my jurisdiction, a written log of the barking (submitted by two neighbors) is what it takes to get the city to issue a fine.
I didn't say not to keep a journal. I said that there's no value in telling the neighbor that you'll be keeping the journal, since that's already pretty implicit if you say you're planning to report all violations of the noise ordinance.
posted by schroedingersgirl at 8:43 AM on May 19, 2018
Re: doggie daycare -- this is only a good option for dog- and human-friendly dogs who have been properly socialized to interact politely with other dogs. I highly doubt that three dogs who don't leave their yard fit the bill, particularly if one is trained to guard the property.
Doggie daycare is a wonderful option... for people with the right kind of dog. Encouraging the neighbor to use it for her dogs is unlikely to do much beyond result in a very stressful day where the dogs fail their daycare evaluation.
posted by schroedingersgirl at 8:45 AM on May 19, 2018
Doggie daycare is a wonderful option... for people with the right kind of dog. Encouraging the neighbor to use it for her dogs is unlikely to do much beyond result in a very stressful day where the dogs fail their daycare evaluation.
posted by schroedingersgirl at 8:45 AM on May 19, 2018
there are ultrasonic devices that stop barking dogs, they work. google it
posted by patnok at 6:28 PM on May 19, 2018
posted by patnok at 6:28 PM on May 19, 2018
Thirding the ultrasonic dog trainers. Buy one, mount it on your side of the fence pointing at the dogs. It will do its thing whenever they bark. The first day, the barking will get worse, as the dogs respond every time. Eventually they will realise that they can never get the last word and will stop. Two or three days usually does it, but you can leave it on for a few weeks just in case.
I bought one twenty years ago for my then neighbour’s dogs. I have used it on two subsequent occasions in that time for new neighbours/dogs. Works every time. Worth its weight in gold. No need ever to tell your neighbours that it’s happening.
posted by tillsbury at 3:48 PM on May 20, 2018 [2 favorites]
I bought one twenty years ago for my then neighbour’s dogs. I have used it on two subsequent occasions in that time for new neighbours/dogs. Works every time. Worth its weight in gold. No need ever to tell your neighbours that it’s happening.
posted by tillsbury at 3:48 PM on May 20, 2018 [2 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
Go over and talk to her in person. Tell her the dogs are such a problem that it's affecting your sleep and your ability to work and relax in your home. Bring a recording of how loud it is from inside your house, maybe? But be really nice. Don't criticize her dog ownership by dropping hints she isn't caring for them properly. This is about the noise, nothing else, and you need her help to make it better. You say you don't care if you're on good terms, but I've lived next door to people with whom I was not on good terms, and it sucks. If you can keep this relationship as friendly as possible, she is more likely to help you out on this and any other issue. And if this doesn't work, at least you know you tried in the most civil way possible.
posted by something something at 8:22 AM on May 18, 2018 [32 favorites]