Barking me into a corner.
October 15, 2012 8:29 AM Subscribe
Friendly Neighbor Version: Barking Dog is driving me crazy.
I know that similar questions have been asked, but I feel like my situation is a little different and I could really, really use some Hive advice.
I live in and own the second floor in a three-story, three unit condo triple decker. The house was built in 1901 and then converted to condos in 2002. I bought my place in 2010 and it's been a fantastic place to live. It's a very solid house and surprisingly noise-resistant.
Just under two years ago, my (current) neighbor bought the downstairs condo. She is a gem. She has an erratic schedule though between work travel and spending time with her elderly mother a state away. She's usually home on Monday through Wednesday and then is sometimes around on Thursdays and every other weekend is either away with her mother or home. Lately, she's been away every weekend because I think her mother's health is really declining. :( I'm currently in the process of moving my boyfriend into my condo, so for the past year or so, my schedule has been erratic as I spend 4-5 nights at his place. However, he's moving in in the next week, and as a result for the past two months I've been home almost nightly going through things and decluttering to make my home our home - my current guest room is going to be his ManCave and I had to de-crap my office, and yaddayadda. Combining lives is a lot of work, but I digress.
Anyway, she is a great neighbor and manages our condo association, but our "condo association" of our three units is very laid-back. My upstairs neighbor is constantly traveling internationally so I've maybe seen her twice in the three years I've lived there. However, downstairs neighbor and I have been known to enjoy a glass of wine on her deck downstairs if it's nice out. We're not best friends, but we are very friendly and get along and it's a very amicable neighbor-acquaintance-but-not-quite-friendship.
Ten months ago, Downstairs Neighbor bough a puppy (Australian Labradoodle) from a breeder. It was a very, very barky puppy and Downstairs Neighbor apologized profusely and kept promising that this dog would grow out of it. Trying to be the Awesomest Neighbor Ever, I just kind of gritted my teeth and hoped for the best. However, that barky puppy has now turned into the World's Barkiest Dog. I don't think that my neighbor trained the dog very well, because even with the barking aside, it's jumpy-jumpy, bitey and crazy barky, out of control.
The barking is now beyond getting to me and I need to do something about it because I'm at my breaking point. This isn't just a bark-bark here and a bark-bark there. This is a situation where I cannot even walk across my condo in shoes while getting ready for work without CONSTANT barking. Whenever I open and close (not slam) my front door and the exterior door to my condo the dog erupts in loud barking fits. If I turn on the radio while cleaning my house and have the subwoofer on (low/very reasonable level) the dog erupts in fits of barking. If the dog is outside in the yard and someone walks by the house, the dog literally flings itself against the fence in a barking rage. If I'm cooking and drop something on the floor it sends the dog into a barking fit that lasts for hours. It is literally, constantly barking. I'm actually quite amazed at how the dog never tires out!
I have wood floors and have thick throw rugs all over the place. I bought a white noise machine. I guess the issue is that my neighbor knows the barking is crazy so talking to her is like just stating the obvious to her. She bought a citronella collar for the dog which obviously isn't working. She walks the dog regularly (heh, and I know when they're coming home because I can hear the barking down the street) and has a hired dog walker for when she's not home. None of it helps. She will not do a shock collar or anything like that. I've politely asked her "Is your dog feeling ok? It's been exceptionally barky." and have just been met with an apology and nothing more. She knows she has a barky dog.
I'm trying to be reasonable, however, I don't think my neighbor realizes just how much this barking is killing me. It really is that bad and I need to say something, but don't want to ruin our relationship or create tension. I think calling the cops/filing a noise ordinance is a good idea, but I don't want her to know it's me, and this seems a little harsh. However, I'm also fairly certain that the folks who live in the next house over are also annoyed with the dog (when it's in the yard) - I don't know them at all though so it would be kind of weird for me to knock on their door and talk to them.
I would love some suggestions on how to approach this issue and anything else I could do. Could I use my boyfriend moving in as an excuse ("He needs sleep")? What about some dog-controlling device? Jedi mind-tricks? Hire a hit man?
I know that similar questions have been asked, but I feel like my situation is a little different and I could really, really use some Hive advice.
I live in and own the second floor in a three-story, three unit condo triple decker. The house was built in 1901 and then converted to condos in 2002. I bought my place in 2010 and it's been a fantastic place to live. It's a very solid house and surprisingly noise-resistant.
Just under two years ago, my (current) neighbor bought the downstairs condo. She is a gem. She has an erratic schedule though between work travel and spending time with her elderly mother a state away. She's usually home on Monday through Wednesday and then is sometimes around on Thursdays and every other weekend is either away with her mother or home. Lately, she's been away every weekend because I think her mother's health is really declining. :( I'm currently in the process of moving my boyfriend into my condo, so for the past year or so, my schedule has been erratic as I spend 4-5 nights at his place. However, he's moving in in the next week, and as a result for the past two months I've been home almost nightly going through things and decluttering to make my home our home - my current guest room is going to be his ManCave and I had to de-crap my office, and yaddayadda. Combining lives is a lot of work, but I digress.
Anyway, she is a great neighbor and manages our condo association, but our "condo association" of our three units is very laid-back. My upstairs neighbor is constantly traveling internationally so I've maybe seen her twice in the three years I've lived there. However, downstairs neighbor and I have been known to enjoy a glass of wine on her deck downstairs if it's nice out. We're not best friends, but we are very friendly and get along and it's a very amicable neighbor-acquaintance-but-not-quite-friendship.
Ten months ago, Downstairs Neighbor bough a puppy (Australian Labradoodle) from a breeder. It was a very, very barky puppy and Downstairs Neighbor apologized profusely and kept promising that this dog would grow out of it. Trying to be the Awesomest Neighbor Ever, I just kind of gritted my teeth and hoped for the best. However, that barky puppy has now turned into the World's Barkiest Dog. I don't think that my neighbor trained the dog very well, because even with the barking aside, it's jumpy-jumpy, bitey and crazy barky, out of control.
The barking is now beyond getting to me and I need to do something about it because I'm at my breaking point. This isn't just a bark-bark here and a bark-bark there. This is a situation where I cannot even walk across my condo in shoes while getting ready for work without CONSTANT barking. Whenever I open and close (not slam) my front door and the exterior door to my condo the dog erupts in loud barking fits. If I turn on the radio while cleaning my house and have the subwoofer on (low/very reasonable level) the dog erupts in fits of barking. If the dog is outside in the yard and someone walks by the house, the dog literally flings itself against the fence in a barking rage. If I'm cooking and drop something on the floor it sends the dog into a barking fit that lasts for hours. It is literally, constantly barking. I'm actually quite amazed at how the dog never tires out!
I have wood floors and have thick throw rugs all over the place. I bought a white noise machine. I guess the issue is that my neighbor knows the barking is crazy so talking to her is like just stating the obvious to her. She bought a citronella collar for the dog which obviously isn't working. She walks the dog regularly (heh, and I know when they're coming home because I can hear the barking down the street) and has a hired dog walker for when she's not home. None of it helps. She will not do a shock collar or anything like that. I've politely asked her "Is your dog feeling ok? It's been exceptionally barky." and have just been met with an apology and nothing more. She knows she has a barky dog.
I'm trying to be reasonable, however, I don't think my neighbor realizes just how much this barking is killing me. It really is that bad and I need to say something, but don't want to ruin our relationship or create tension. I think calling the cops/filing a noise ordinance is a good idea, but I don't want her to know it's me, and this seems a little harsh. However, I'm also fairly certain that the folks who live in the next house over are also annoyed with the dog (when it's in the yard) - I don't know them at all though so it would be kind of weird for me to knock on their door and talk to them.
I would love some suggestions on how to approach this issue and anything else I could do. Could I use my boyfriend moving in as an excuse ("He needs sleep")? What about some dog-controlling device? Jedi mind-tricks? Hire a hit man?
Best answer: If you have condo documents, you should check for noise/pet issues, though if she's running it then it might not help.
You need to be a bit more assertive about this. "Neighbour, your dog barks constantly. You need to try something else, because this isn't working: if I even walk across the floor, it starts barking for hours. I don't mind the occasional bark, but this is excessive, and it hasn't grown out of it." You can suggest getting the dog properly trained, or doggy daycare when she's out of the house.
Your relationship isn't really cordial: she's avoiding what she must know is a real problem, and you're avoiding talking to her about it.
Note: don't call the dog an it. Use the dog's real name and he/she, because it makes it sound like you hate dogs.
posted by jeather at 8:38 AM on October 15, 2012 [10 favorites]
You need to be a bit more assertive about this. "Neighbour, your dog barks constantly. You need to try something else, because this isn't working: if I even walk across the floor, it starts barking for hours. I don't mind the occasional bark, but this is excessive, and it hasn't grown out of it." You can suggest getting the dog properly trained, or doggy daycare when she's out of the house.
Your relationship isn't really cordial: she's avoiding what she must know is a real problem, and you're avoiding talking to her about it.
Note: don't call the dog an it. Use the dog's real name and he/she, because it makes it sound like you hate dogs.
posted by jeather at 8:38 AM on October 15, 2012 [10 favorites]
Have you said to her, "I don't think you understand just how much this barking is killing me?"
Barking is both a very common problem in dogs and a very hard one to solve. In general, Labradoodles are both high-energy and very intelligent. I'm betting (like a lot of dogs with 'behavior problems') it's not getting either enough physical OR mental exercise.
posted by muddgirl at 8:42 AM on October 15, 2012 [4 favorites]
Barking is both a very common problem in dogs and a very hard one to solve. In general, Labradoodles are both high-energy and very intelligent. I'm betting (like a lot of dogs with 'behavior problems') it's not getting either enough physical OR mental exercise.
posted by muddgirl at 8:42 AM on October 15, 2012 [4 favorites]
I mean "and" - a couple walks a day may not be enough physical exercise (when it's heading back home, it should be wayyyy too exhausted to be barking!), and it's probably not getting enough mental stimulation.
posted by muddgirl at 8:43 AM on October 15, 2012
posted by muddgirl at 8:43 AM on October 15, 2012
"Yeah, hey, I know we've talked about the barking before, and I appreciate everything you've done so far, but I need to ask you to try some other strategies, because it is really starting to be a problem. Have you looked into training/anti-bark collars/anything else? I'd really appreciate you taking care of this before my boyfriend moves in."
Any further problems get a noise complaint to the police.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:49 AM on October 15, 2012 [3 favorites]
Any further problems get a noise complaint to the police.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:49 AM on October 15, 2012 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Maybe she would respond more favorably if you approach her about helping the dog? He/she is clearly not a happy dog; I'd bet there's anxiety going on. The flinging itself against the fence issue does not equal happy dog. So maybe if you tell her that there are ways to help her dog feel better and less anxious at home, which would naturally result in less barking, she'd be more amenable? But make sure you don't imply in any way that her dog's anxiety is her fault. The breed is naturally high-strung and high-energy. Maybe he/she needs more mental stimulation, more training, etc. Ask around for trainer recommendations and pass on the information to her.
In the end, though, you need to make it clear to her that while you want the dog to be happier, it's really important that you have the quality of life in your home that you're accustomed to.
posted by cooker girl at 9:04 AM on October 15, 2012
In the end, though, you need to make it clear to her that while you want the dog to be happier, it's really important that you have the quality of life in your home that you're accustomed to.
posted by cooker girl at 9:04 AM on October 15, 2012
People with badly behaving dogs seem to often engage in a lot of crazy minimizing/rationalizing.
Because the reality is often really hard to face. "my life and this dog don't work together"
You need to have an upfront conversation. Be polite but don't back down on the seriousness of this situation. No "it's not that bad" "it's only really bad if/when", let her make excuses for the dog. I see a lot of people get into weird agreements because they are too afraid to hurt someone's feelings.
"The barking has become unbearable, I know you are trying hard, but it has not improved. You need to address this"
posted by French Fry at 9:05 AM on October 15, 2012 [4 favorites]
Because the reality is often really hard to face. "my life and this dog don't work together"
You need to have an upfront conversation. Be polite but don't back down on the seriousness of this situation. No "it's not that bad" "it's only really bad if/when", let her make excuses for the dog. I see a lot of people get into weird agreements because they are too afraid to hurt someone's feelings.
"The barking has become unbearable, I know you are trying hard, but it has not improved. You need to address this"
posted by French Fry at 9:05 AM on October 15, 2012 [4 favorites]
In my limited experience on this, many dog owners won't regard their dog noise as a problem until it becomes their problem. Barking while they away just simply isn't a problem. I've taken to doing lawn work in the early morning, knowing this would trigger the neighbors dog to bark while they are still asleep. A little bit mean? Yes, but oddly enough once the barking begins to disrupt the owner's life then something gets done about it.
posted by dgran at 9:07 AM on October 15, 2012 [26 favorites]
posted by dgran at 9:07 AM on October 15, 2012 [26 favorites]
I wouldn't bother saying the constant barking will bother your boyfriend, because the dog owner KNOWS the dog is constantly barking, and she's known that for the full ten months since she first got the dog. At this point I'd just call Animal Control, and KEEP calling Animal Control --- and since that constant, loud barking has probably also annoyed a lot of the people in your neighborhood, it's very unlikely that she'll know it was you that called.
posted by easily confused at 9:14 AM on October 15, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by easily confused at 9:14 AM on October 15, 2012 [1 favorite]
Whatever you do, in case you haven't realized it, keep in mind that YOU are really acting in the best interest of the dog. The owner is NOT acting in the dog's best interest right now. There's multiple scenarios whereby this dog, as a barky/pseudo-aggressive/downright aggressive/nippy dog, is likely to be in a worse situation than it would be if it was well behaved. On a more meta level you're acting for the betterment of dog culture in general, this owner isn't making friends from people that encounter her and her dog.
Go forth with that in mind. You've been patient but now it's time to start taking a more active stance as others have mentioned instead of being understanding and waiting.
Hire a hit man?
Not cool. I know it was mentioned in jest, but still... Believe it or not this is not unheard of where I come from when people don't like their neighbor's dogs. Most common case I've heard of is people putting out pans of anti-freeze to 'take care of' a dog situation.
posted by RolandOfEld at 9:24 AM on October 15, 2012 [2 favorites]
Go forth with that in mind. You've been patient but now it's time to start taking a more active stance as others have mentioned instead of being understanding and waiting.
Hire a hit man?
Not cool. I know it was mentioned in jest, but still... Believe it or not this is not unheard of where I come from when people don't like their neighbor's dogs. Most common case I've heard of is people putting out pans of anti-freeze to 'take care of' a dog situation.
posted by RolandOfEld at 9:24 AM on October 15, 2012 [2 favorites]
I suggest showing her how much the dog barks. I would invite her up to your apartment and go through a series of things that usually cause the dog to bark. I dont own a dog, and I don't really know how many alternative methods exist to help her with the dog barking, but I think it would be great if you could find a number of potential solutions for her. I would NOT step up to take care of the dog.
posted by emilynoa at 9:44 AM on October 15, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by emilynoa at 9:44 AM on October 15, 2012 [2 favorites]
Don't call animal control. This is not the sort of thing that they deal with - if you really want to involve law enforcement, make a noise complaint to the police.
This might vary by jurisdiction, but in LA, I've been told to make a noise complaint to the police. If the police suspect animal abuse or neglect, they will call animal control, but really - start with the police. You can make an anonymous call - hell, make several anonymous calls. It's not harsh. Maybe your neighbor will realize that she's not doing her job as a dog owner and either step it up or rehome the dog.
There are absolutely ways that your neighbor could at least reduce the barking. Dogs bark sometimes, but constant barking is not okay. People should not be allowed to buy expensive (oh, and very high energy) dogs from breeders and not train them.
I am a dog owner and a dog lover, and this would drive me nuts. You're not being a persnickety jerk.
posted by ablazingsaddle at 9:58 AM on October 15, 2012 [2 favorites]
This might vary by jurisdiction, but in LA, I've been told to make a noise complaint to the police. If the police suspect animal abuse or neglect, they will call animal control, but really - start with the police. You can make an anonymous call - hell, make several anonymous calls. It's not harsh. Maybe your neighbor will realize that she's not doing her job as a dog owner and either step it up or rehome the dog.
There are absolutely ways that your neighbor could at least reduce the barking. Dogs bark sometimes, but constant barking is not okay. People should not be allowed to buy expensive (oh, and very high energy) dogs from breeders and not train them.
I am a dog owner and a dog lover, and this would drive me nuts. You're not being a persnickety jerk.
posted by ablazingsaddle at 9:58 AM on October 15, 2012 [2 favorites]
Is the dog barking when she is actually in the house with it? I'm not clear on that point.
If all this barking is when she is not in the house with it, then she is not home enough to own this dog. She may realize this but doesn't want to face giving it up. I suggest you find a labrador or labradoodle specific rescue in your area and call them in order to collect information for your neighbor.
Then bring over cookies and have a Serious Talk. You are not sleeping. You are walking on eggshells and that doesn't even help. You gave her several months leeway, nothing has improved, and something must be done NOW.
If she is not able to control the dog's barking, she needs to find it a better home. A barking dog is rarely a happy dog. Does she want the dog to be happy? Then give it the chance to find a home with a family who will have the time and energy for it.
posted by Glinn at 10:01 AM on October 15, 2012
If all this barking is when she is not in the house with it, then she is not home enough to own this dog. She may realize this but doesn't want to face giving it up. I suggest you find a labrador or labradoodle specific rescue in your area and call them in order to collect information for your neighbor.
Then bring over cookies and have a Serious Talk. You are not sleeping. You are walking on eggshells and that doesn't even help. You gave her several months leeway, nothing has improved, and something must be done NOW.
If she is not able to control the dog's barking, she needs to find it a better home. A barking dog is rarely a happy dog. Does she want the dog to be happy? Then give it the chance to find a home with a family who will have the time and energy for it.
posted by Glinn at 10:01 AM on October 15, 2012
I think you were right about using your boyfriend as the excuse. Wait until he moves in. Then have him approach neighbor in a friendly way about the problem. Have him nail down a plan and time frame to address it.
Or, have him start calling animal control.
I think it is important in such a small building when only three of you are in a condo to maintain good relations. Having your boyfriend be the bad guy will allow you to maintain your good neighbor relationship (maybe) and he can address the problem without the baggage of wanting to remain neighborly at his own expense.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 10:02 AM on October 15, 2012
Or, have him start calling animal control.
I think it is important in such a small building when only three of you are in a condo to maintain good relations. Having your boyfriend be the bad guy will allow you to maintain your good neighbor relationship (maybe) and he can address the problem without the baggage of wanting to remain neighborly at his own expense.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 10:02 AM on October 15, 2012
Bring her up to your condo and let her hear what it's like for you as you serve coffee. Tell her politely but very clearly that it can't continue with your boyfriend moving in. Ask her what her next plans are for dealing with the problem, because the existing plan isn't working.
You can coat it with as much sugar as you feel you need to, but the hardcore message should be clear: This cannot and will not continue.
posted by mediareport at 10:13 AM on October 15, 2012 [5 favorites]
You can coat it with as much sugar as you feel you need to, but the hardcore message should be clear: This cannot and will not continue.
posted by mediareport at 10:13 AM on October 15, 2012 [5 favorites]
Our dog was a rescue with sever seperation issues that resulted in her barking for sometimes as lone as five hours straight. As soon as we found out about it, we started working on making it stop. Your neighbor is not handling the situation if it is still a problem after months. We got the dog problem down from 5 hours to 10 min after two weeks.
Please go directly to her as a first step- "this is severly disrupting my life. Your dog barks constantly, whenever I do these activities, and that leads to a barking fit three times an hour (or whatever). If you can't greatly improve the situation within a week I am going to have to start making noise complaints."
posted by Blisterlips at 10:16 AM on October 15, 2012 [2 favorites]
Please go directly to her as a first step- "this is severly disrupting my life. Your dog barks constantly, whenever I do these activities, and that leads to a barking fit three times an hour (or whatever). If you can't greatly improve the situation within a week I am going to have to start making noise complaints."
posted by Blisterlips at 10:16 AM on October 15, 2012 [2 favorites]
Your neighbor is not handling the situation if it is still a problem after months.
Yep!
Also, you say the dog never tires out. Does your neighbor walk the dog enough? My dog, a senior German Shepherd, can be a huge pain in the ass if he doesn't get enough exercise. I imagine a labradoodble puppy would be insufferable without enough exercise. Hanging out in a fenced yard doesn't count. A dog like that needs actual structured walks. Does she leave the dog at home during day? If you do end up talking to her about this, I'd suggest having a dog walker come mid-day for thirty minutes to an hour. That might help.
Poor dog. Stupid neighbor.
posted by ablazingsaddle at 11:07 AM on October 15, 2012 [1 favorite]
Yep!
Also, you say the dog never tires out. Does your neighbor walk the dog enough? My dog, a senior German Shepherd, can be a huge pain in the ass if he doesn't get enough exercise. I imagine a labradoodble puppy would be insufferable without enough exercise. Hanging out in a fenced yard doesn't count. A dog like that needs actual structured walks. Does she leave the dog at home during day? If you do end up talking to her about this, I'd suggest having a dog walker come mid-day for thirty minutes to an hour. That might help.
Poor dog. Stupid neighbor.
posted by ablazingsaddle at 11:07 AM on October 15, 2012 [1 favorite]
If it helps, think of the favor you are doing for the dog. A dog that is barking madly all the time is not happy. Think that the dog would like to be calm and relaxed as much as you want it to be calm and relaxed.
Young dogs need *a lot* of exercise and have astonishing capacity to recover quickly. Seconding ablazingsaddle, our dog at that age needed two walks a day (30 minutes before work, 45 minutes after) plus a solid three hour hike over the weekend, day in and day out. From how you describe things, this poor dog is getting nowhere near enough exercise.
Please talk to the neighbor. It's not working for you, it's not working for the dog. She needs to consult a professional trainer.
Also, I don't think it would be weird for you to knock on your neighbor's door and ask them if the barking is a problem. Seems like a perfectly natural reason to introduce yourself to your neighbors.
posted by ambrosia at 11:16 AM on October 15, 2012
Young dogs need *a lot* of exercise and have astonishing capacity to recover quickly. Seconding ablazingsaddle, our dog at that age needed two walks a day (30 minutes before work, 45 minutes after) plus a solid three hour hike over the weekend, day in and day out. From how you describe things, this poor dog is getting nowhere near enough exercise.
Please talk to the neighbor. It's not working for you, it's not working for the dog. She needs to consult a professional trainer.
Also, I don't think it would be weird for you to knock on your neighbor's door and ask them if the barking is a problem. Seems like a perfectly natural reason to introduce yourself to your neighbors.
posted by ambrosia at 11:16 AM on October 15, 2012
Response by poster: Thanks everyone for the comments and suggestions so far.
To add per your questions:
She is home when the dog is having the barking fits. When I come in the front door and hear the dog freaking out in her condo and she's home I'll sometimes hear her yell "Stop it!" through the door. Dog continues to bark though. It's definitely an angry bark and not a yelping if that makes sense. This sounds like the dog is in attack mode.
Dog barks when she's not home. I work from home one day a week so I know the dog barks during the day too. I've seen her dog walker come to the house mid-day on these days and he takes the dog for a few hours, so I know the dog is being walked. It's clearly not enough.
She has tried a citronella collar and it didn't work. Same thing with bark spray. She is fully aware of how loud the dog is and has been in my house when it's going through a barking fit. No dice. (Also - this is really the only noise that I can hear in the condo, other than that the house is surprisingly soundproof).
I know I can suggest a dog trainer and all of that but what if she doesn't do anything and things remain the same? The issue is that she KNOWS her dog is obnoxious but isn't doing anything about it that I've noticed anyway that has changed anything. I can't just move...I own my house and love it. :(
(and the hitman comment was in jest and I do apologize if it offended anyone. I would never consider anything of that nature or any such animal cruelty. Hearing about the antifreeze turned my stomach, so I am so sorry and was not aware of such awful human behavior) :(
posted by floweredfish at 12:15 PM on October 15, 2012
To add per your questions:
She is home when the dog is having the barking fits. When I come in the front door and hear the dog freaking out in her condo and she's home I'll sometimes hear her yell "Stop it!" through the door. Dog continues to bark though. It's definitely an angry bark and not a yelping if that makes sense. This sounds like the dog is in attack mode.
Dog barks when she's not home. I work from home one day a week so I know the dog barks during the day too. I've seen her dog walker come to the house mid-day on these days and he takes the dog for a few hours, so I know the dog is being walked. It's clearly not enough.
She has tried a citronella collar and it didn't work. Same thing with bark spray. She is fully aware of how loud the dog is and has been in my house when it's going through a barking fit. No dice. (Also - this is really the only noise that I can hear in the condo, other than that the house is surprisingly soundproof).
I know I can suggest a dog trainer and all of that but what if she doesn't do anything and things remain the same? The issue is that she KNOWS her dog is obnoxious but isn't doing anything about it that I've noticed anyway that has changed anything. I can't just move...I own my house and love it. :(
(and the hitman comment was in jest and I do apologize if it offended anyone. I would never consider anything of that nature or any such animal cruelty. Hearing about the antifreeze turned my stomach, so I am so sorry and was not aware of such awful human behavior) :(
posted by floweredfish at 12:15 PM on October 15, 2012
This is what noise ordinances are for -- your community has decided that X amount of barking (or loud music or whatever) is unacceptable, to the point that the police will cite her. Call them. Ask how often you can/should call them if the noise continues.
I'm sure she's a lovely person who has simply gotten in over her head. But now she needs to deal with that.
posted by Etrigan at 12:32 PM on October 15, 2012 [5 favorites]
I'm sure she's a lovely person who has simply gotten in over her head. But now she needs to deal with that.
posted by Etrigan at 12:32 PM on October 15, 2012 [5 favorites]
what if she doesn't do anything and things remain the same?
Noise complaint(s) with local PD, repeated up to and including the point of having the dog removed.
You have to warn her that things are going to get serious if things don't improve before you go this route. Up to this point you and her have been all cool and stuff, to just up and call the cops would be a bit jarring, and rightly so.
Seriously, it's not just your sanity, this dog is not happy or secure either or it wouldn't be behaving like that.
I do apologize if it offended anyone
No harm, no foul here. Awful people make the world a worse place, and sometimes do unspeakable things. I didn't suspect for a moment that you were one of them nor did I think that you would do any such thing. I guess it's like saying someone was "beaten up like a red-headed stepchild", seems innocuous but that kinda sucks that it calls out how crappy things are for stepchildren. Or something... *hugs*
posted by RolandOfEld at 12:35 PM on October 15, 2012
Noise complaint(s) with local PD, repeated up to and including the point of having the dog removed.
You have to warn her that things are going to get serious if things don't improve before you go this route. Up to this point you and her have been all cool and stuff, to just up and call the cops would be a bit jarring, and rightly so.
Seriously, it's not just your sanity, this dog is not happy or secure either or it wouldn't be behaving like that.
I do apologize if it offended anyone
No harm, no foul here. Awful people make the world a worse place, and sometimes do unspeakable things. I didn't suspect for a moment that you were one of them nor did I think that you would do any such thing. I guess it's like saying someone was "beaten up like a red-headed stepchild", seems innocuous but that kinda sucks that it calls out how crappy things are for stepchildren. Or something... *hugs*
posted by RolandOfEld at 12:35 PM on October 15, 2012
what if she doesn't do anything and things remain the same?
To answer that, we'd need to know your condo documents say about noise/pet issues, as jeather pointed out above, and what your town's laws are about barking dogs. So, you should find out both of those things as your next step. And start getting used to the idea that at some point you will have to tell her "I like you very much as a neighbor, you know that, but this barking is illegal (assuming it is) and unacceptable."
posted by mediareport at 12:36 PM on October 15, 2012 [2 favorites]
To answer that, we'd need to know your condo documents say about noise/pet issues, as jeather pointed out above, and what your town's laws are about barking dogs. So, you should find out both of those things as your next step. And start getting used to the idea that at some point you will have to tell her "I like you very much as a neighbor, you know that, but this barking is illegal (assuming it is) and unacceptable."
posted by mediareport at 12:36 PM on October 15, 2012 [2 favorites]
It's definitely an angry bark and not a yelping if that makes sense. This sounds like the dog is in attack mode.
Not necessarily. You can't tell by the tone of a dog's bark if he's in "attack mode."
"Stop it!" is not something that dogs understand unless they've been trained to respond to it (and it doesn't sound like this one has)."No barking" or "no" works much better. Dogs have limited vocabularies, and "no" comes up a lot. I am not an expert, and your neighbor needs to train this dog or rehome it. Bark collars are bandaid solution at best.
posted by ablazingsaddle at 1:32 PM on October 15, 2012
Not necessarily. You can't tell by the tone of a dog's bark if he's in "attack mode."
"Stop it!" is not something that dogs understand unless they've been trained to respond to it (and it doesn't sound like this one has)."No barking" or "no" works much better. Dogs have limited vocabularies, and "no" comes up a lot. I am not an expert, and your neighbor needs to train this dog or rehome it. Bark collars are bandaid solution at best.
posted by ablazingsaddle at 1:32 PM on October 15, 2012
I like this advice.
1. Talk to neighbor. You've done that.
2. Check local laws. You should be able to find this online.
3. Contact animal control/police department, depending on your local laws.
4. Go to small claims court with records you've kept of the dog barking frequency, length of time, etc.
Irresponsible dog owners don't really deserve to be called good neighbors. There is already tension (she's doesn't sound dumb), and your relationship is already compromised. You've done the nice things. Now, unfortunately, you're going to have to be more aggressive, and much more assertive.
posted by xyzzy at 1:38 PM on October 15, 2012
1. Talk to neighbor. You've done that.
2. Check local laws. You should be able to find this online.
3. Contact animal control/police department, depending on your local laws.
4. Go to small claims court with records you've kept of the dog barking frequency, length of time, etc.
Irresponsible dog owners don't really deserve to be called good neighbors. There is already tension (she's doesn't sound dumb), and your relationship is already compromised. You've done the nice things. Now, unfortunately, you're going to have to be more aggressive, and much more assertive.
posted by xyzzy at 1:38 PM on October 15, 2012
Best answer: My neighbor had 3 (!) Irish wolfhounds that would bark like crazy at 6 in the morning. They were tall enough to stand with their heads over our fence and bark at me over the fence.
I purchased an ultrasonic bark deterrent and put it in the tree at their face level where they liked to pop their heads over. After one day, my problem was greatly lessened. They would still start up but would stop after a few barks. I had to replace the batteries often. The reviews for the Petsafe deterrent that I bought on Amazon are mixed. Some people think it is a godsend and others felt it was wasted money--so your mileage may vary. It basically senses a the sound of barking and emits an unpleasant noise.
This would help in the yard and maybe your neighbor could try one inside if she was amenable to it? The one I got was $40.
I would give up on trying to keep a friendly relationship with your neighbor if you've let her know that the barking is a problem and she hasn't addressed it yet.
You should tell her explicitly to what degree her dog affects you and plainly let her know what would be a resolution for you (barking never, no barking from x-y hours, she gets a trainer, she takes the dog to doggy daycare or whatever would be the fix for you). Honesty is best here. You shouldn't have to use your boyfriend as an excuse. If it is difficult for you to say to her face, then write her a letter but I think it is important to be honest and try to communicate with her about what you want as much as what you don't want.
Good luck, I have totally been in your shoes. Luckily the wolfhound gang moved away from my neighborhood!
posted by dottiechang at 8:32 PM on October 15, 2012
I purchased an ultrasonic bark deterrent and put it in the tree at their face level where they liked to pop their heads over. After one day, my problem was greatly lessened. They would still start up but would stop after a few barks. I had to replace the batteries often. The reviews for the Petsafe deterrent that I bought on Amazon are mixed. Some people think it is a godsend and others felt it was wasted money--so your mileage may vary. It basically senses a the sound of barking and emits an unpleasant noise.
This would help in the yard and maybe your neighbor could try one inside if she was amenable to it? The one I got was $40.
I would give up on trying to keep a friendly relationship with your neighbor if you've let her know that the barking is a problem and she hasn't addressed it yet.
You should tell her explicitly to what degree her dog affects you and plainly let her know what would be a resolution for you (barking never, no barking from x-y hours, she gets a trainer, she takes the dog to doggy daycare or whatever would be the fix for you). Honesty is best here. You shouldn't have to use your boyfriend as an excuse. If it is difficult for you to say to her face, then write her a letter but I think it is important to be honest and try to communicate with her about what you want as much as what you don't want.
Good luck, I have totally been in your shoes. Luckily the wolfhound gang moved away from my neighborhood!
posted by dottiechang at 8:32 PM on October 15, 2012
This thread is closed to new comments.
She won't necessarily know it's your complaint; there may be five tenants upset.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:36 AM on October 15, 2012