Peanut Butter Pondering

May 17, 2018 10:35 PM

My spouse accidentally bought reduced-fat peanut butter instead of the usual kind. I tried it, and I can't cope with the different texture. No one else in this house eats peanut butter. What can I do with a large jar of reduced-fat creamy peanut butter with the seal cracked and precisely one spoonful removed from it? I don't want it to go to waste. That's a lot of peanut butter! And I really, really, really can't handle it in sandwiches. Ideally, I'd give it away, but it's open? Help!
posted by Rush-That-Speaks to Food & Drink (34 answers total)

1. Bake with it.
2. Make a West African-style soup with sweet potatoes, sweet peppers and bitter greens.
posted by holgate at 10:40 PM on May 17, 2018 [22 favorites]

Cold sesame noodles, and adjacent recipes? The peanut butter is dissolved into a sauce, so the texture is entirely different than when used as peanut butter per se.
posted by aramaic at 10:41 PM on May 17, 2018 [18 favorites]

Best answer: These chocolate peanut butter bars are really good, plus they're no-bake.
posted by Mchelly at 10:42 PM on May 17, 2018 [3 favorites]

I've been super obsessed with these Sesame Peanut noodles lately, and they're very easy to make. You can use fancy asian (Hokkien, Udon, etc) noodles if you'd like, but a pack of instant ramen (minus the seasoning packet) works just as well. I've added some thin sliced chicken breast to this recipe, which makes it a bit more filling, and some fresh sliced cucumber added last minute adds the perfect crunch. Try it out!
posted by hasna at 10:48 PM on May 17, 2018 [6 favorites]

Buy a small bottle of cold-pressed peanut oil and mix it in (in small batches as you go through the jar) until you get the texture you like.

I think walnut oil tastes much better than peanut oil, and that's probably what I would try.
posted by jamjam at 10:51 PM on May 17, 2018 [6 favorites]

Toss it into soups or stews for body and depth. Put a few tablespoons in a small bowl, add a cup or so of hot broth, mix well and add to the pot.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 11:24 PM on May 17, 2018 [2 favorites]

Check the ingredients. Did they add sugar and sodium to compensate for the missing fat? Tons of products do. If it's got a bunch of added sugar you're really not going to have a good time using it in savory dishes. And using something you don't like to make even more of a different food is a good way to ruin even more food.

Right now you have at most what, a $5 mistake? Just pitch it. Life is too short man.
posted by phunniemee at 1:42 AM on May 18, 2018 [22 favorites]

Best answer: Save it for next winter and roll pine cones in it, then roll in birdseed and hang outside for birds.
posted by Sukey Says at 1:44 AM on May 18, 2018 [28 favorites]

I used it to make peanut butter cookies* once, and I couldn't tell the difference in the final product. They freeze well if you end up with more than you can eat fresh.

*The traditional fork-crosshatched variety
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:51 AM on May 18, 2018 [5 favorites]

If you have a friend with a dog they can mete it out as a dog treat, one spoonful at a time...
posted by Morpeth at 1:53 AM on May 18, 2018 [11 favorites]

peanut sauce for satay and the like?

https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/peanut-sauce-51149020
posted by alchemist at 1:54 AM on May 18, 2018 [3 favorites]

Peanut butter + hoisin sauce + sriracha + water, to taste, for a Vietnamese summer roll dipping sauce.
Smoothies, ice cream.
Make sandwiches or other dishes for an organization such as Food Not Bombs?
See if an animal shelter will take it for dog treats (if it doesn't contain xylitol)?
Related questions: 1, 2
posted by eyeball at 2:29 AM on May 18, 2018

Flourless peanut butter cookies?
posted by chasles at 3:35 AM on May 18, 2018

I would just throw it out rather than waste my time trying to cook with it on top of wasting money. Or I’d bring it to work and leave it in the kitchenette with a sign saying “help yourself.” At any office I’ve worked in, someone would take it.
posted by Kriesa at 4:27 AM on May 18, 2018 [9 favorites]

Dude trash it, I know food waste sucks but that stuff is like a step away from being a jar of Oreo filling. It isn’t going to get any less gross if you put it in other food and will just taint those ingredients too.
posted by moonlight on vermont at 4:54 AM on May 18, 2018 [4 favorites]

I always give stuff like that to someone I know, where I can just explain why one spoonful is missing. I just say that I hate for it to go to waste and someone usually has a use for it. I would take it to work, church, book club, wherever you have a reasonably high concentration of people who are likely to trust that you haven't poisoned free food.
posted by cpatterson at 5:05 AM on May 18, 2018

Peanut butter bird feeder. Hang the jar of peanut butter sideways from a tree. Birds will land on the open rim and eat it.
posted by amro at 5:25 AM on May 18, 2018 [8 favorites]

Best answer: Local fire departments will often help dispose of hazardous materials, or direct you to the appropriate place to do so. Don't take any chances with dangerous substances like this. The life you save could be your own!
posted by asperity at 5:27 AM on May 18, 2018 [6 favorites]

Satay Sauce. Use it over grilled chicken. Adding the cocount milk will solve the low fat problem. If they added sugar to hide the low fat use less brown sugar.

If you have a dog there are a tonne of dog treat recipes that will use up a jar in no time.
posted by wwax at 5:59 AM on May 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

Food Not Bombs and similar groups will probably take it despite the missing spoon.
posted by corb at 6:00 AM on May 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

People on my local BuyNothing group regularly share things like this. NB I think they are just though Facebook
posted by Gorgik at 6:20 AM on May 18, 2018 [5 favorites]

Best answer: Send it to me. I inexplicably love the stuff. (I’m serious. I’ll cover the postage.)
posted by ocherdraco at 6:25 AM on May 18, 2018 [5 favorites]

My local freecycle group would have someone in it who'd take it and be stoked about it. They're all about this kind of thing. I once saw someone post an old, opened bag of marshmallows and someone took that.
posted by fingersandtoes at 6:34 AM on May 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

Yes, African peanut soup. Or if you have a pressure cooker, this Thai chicken thighs recipe.
posted by superfluousm at 6:37 AM on May 18, 2018

Peanut butter cookies!
No bake cookies - this is probably what I would do, it's the easiest option.
Thai peanut sauce - if it's sweet that shouldn't cause a problem for most dishes I think.
Homemade peanut butter cups, if there's added sugar just cut down on the sugar you add from the recipe.
posted by Ahniya at 7:30 AM on May 18, 2018

Bait rat or mouse traps with it.
posted by The Toad at 7:42 AM on May 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

Edible playdough! Some recipes add milk powder.
posted by nicebookrack at 8:19 AM on May 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

Share it with local dogs in small quantities.
posted by terrapin at 9:19 AM on May 18, 2018

Is there a reason you can't just return it to the store? Tell them it went bad, or something. As long as you have the receipt it shouldn't be a problem.

Also, just an FYI on feeding this to dogs. A lot of peanut butter manufacturers are now using Xylitol as a sweetener, and that is poisonous to dogs.

Please check the ingredient list before you do that.
posted by Hanuman1960 at 9:49 AM on May 18, 2018 [4 favorites]

Breakfast: dice an apple into a large bowl, add 1/4 cup regular oats (not steel-cut, not instant), 1 tablespoon peanut butter, and just under 1/2 cup of water. Nuke for 4 minutes at 50% and add a splash of any kind of milk. The peanut butter just becomes a warm, wonderful presence in the bowl. Texture issues should disappear.
posted by maudlin at 10:07 AM on May 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

Blend into smoothies.
posted by pixiecrinkle at 11:07 AM on May 18, 2018

Scotcheroos!
posted by epj at 11:48 AM on May 18, 2018

Or the Canadian version of Scotcheroos, the Sweet Marie bars.
posted by Ashwagandha at 11:55 AM on May 18, 2018

Response by poster: Amusingly enough, right after I asked this question my spouse became sick of the entire situation, and, without consulting anyone else in the house, went and made approximately one jillion peanut butter sandwiches in ziplock baggies and handed them out to all the local homeless folks who said they weren't allergic. I did not have the spoons to do anything of the sort, even though I thought it was a great idea, and I didn't think my spouse had the energy or time either, but apparently this is the sort of thing that counts as pleasantly energizing in between work tasks for my spouse, as opposed to adding an entire new set of work tasks (as it would for me). So all's well that ends well, and I definitely have some ideas for what to do if this ever happens again-- which is absolutely possible, sigh.
posted by Rush-That-Speaks at 12:44 AM on June 26, 2018 [6 favorites]