Celebrating without stress
April 19, 2018 9:43 AM Subscribe
We're having a baby right before mother's day! What are some cute, low key but meaningful ideas to keep mother's and father's day special without stress, expense, or the pressure to outperform the previous year? I'm looking for the comfort of tradition.
We usually go all out for birthdays (well thought-out presents, day-long outings, etc.). One all-out holiday per year is enough for us, though.
I'm looking for activities that won't involve anxious planning, but that will feel special and can be repeated every year. For example, for Christmas we usually have dinner on Christmas eve, and the only presents we buy for each other are pajamas. We wear our new pajamas on Christmas day, while we watch specials of our favorite shows and eat left overs.
How can we keep mother/father's day special without presents or restaurants? What are your traditions?
We usually go all out for birthdays (well thought-out presents, day-long outings, etc.). One all-out holiday per year is enough for us, though.
I'm looking for activities that won't involve anxious planning, but that will feel special and can be repeated every year. For example, for Christmas we usually have dinner on Christmas eve, and the only presents we buy for each other are pajamas. We wear our new pajamas on Christmas day, while we watch specials of our favorite shows and eat left overs.
How can we keep mother/father's day special without presents or restaurants? What are your traditions?
Seconding breakfast. Bacon, fresh squeezed orange juice, pancakes, whatever your favorites are. When kiddo is older he or she can help.
When I was a kid, we had a tradition of going to the zoo on mother's day, and doing the first beach outing of the summer on father's day.
posted by Kriesa at 10:01 AM on April 19, 2018 [3 favorites]
When I was a kid, we had a tradition of going to the zoo on mother's day, and doing the first beach outing of the summer on father's day.
posted by Kriesa at 10:01 AM on April 19, 2018 [3 favorites]
My greatest wish on mother's day is that I shouldn't have to do any housework or cook supper (and I also really, really like getting flowers, but that's a present). Other than that, I just want hugs and recognition.
posted by kitcat at 10:02 AM on April 19, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by kitcat at 10:02 AM on April 19, 2018 [2 favorites]
We tend to trade off preparing a nice home-cooked family meal, with the non-celebrant taking the lead. If the weather is nice, it's an outdoor barbecue or we eat on our deck. There might be something special we don't have every day, like a nice dessert or flowers on the table.
But really, the best mother's day gifts I get are the homemade cards and craft projects that my children have made over the years.
posted by gateau at 10:05 AM on April 19, 2018
But really, the best mother's day gifts I get are the homemade cards and craft projects that my children have made over the years.
posted by gateau at 10:05 AM on April 19, 2018
Seconding the ability to lie low as much as possible on each person's respective holiday.
If you want something repeatable once you have kids, maybe draw each other a handmade card? (The kid(s) will be doing this eventually.)
If I had to choose a tradition now looking back (oldest kid, 6) I might have chosen a particular tea or beverage.
posted by typecloud at 10:07 AM on April 19, 2018
If you want something repeatable once you have kids, maybe draw each other a handmade card? (The kid(s) will be doing this eventually.)
If I had to choose a tradition now looking back (oldest kid, 6) I might have chosen a particular tea or beverage.
posted by typecloud at 10:07 AM on April 19, 2018
How can we keep mother/father's day special without presents or restaurants?
"Hey hon? We know we love each other and that we're parents now, right?"
"Yep."
"Let's just take mother's and father's day off. No plans with anyone. Order in a pizza, stay in our pajamas all day, and do nothing. Our present to each other is promising to not get worked up about gifts or restaurants or any of that stress. We're treating ourselves to a nice day of relaxation."
"Sounds great!"
posted by bowmaniac at 10:12 AM on April 19, 2018 [6 favorites]
"Hey hon? We know we love each other and that we're parents now, right?"
"Yep."
"Let's just take mother's and father's day off. No plans with anyone. Order in a pizza, stay in our pajamas all day, and do nothing. Our present to each other is promising to not get worked up about gifts or restaurants or any of that stress. We're treating ourselves to a nice day of relaxation."
"Sounds great!"
posted by bowmaniac at 10:12 AM on April 19, 2018 [6 favorites]
A friend’s family has a special plate that they use for birthdays. Could apply the same to Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. It’s a cute, easy way to highlight the person being celebrated without having to do anything elaborate.
posted by vunder at 10:26 AM on April 19, 2018
posted by vunder at 10:26 AM on April 19, 2018
Every mother's day, I have my husband take a photo of me and my kid on the front steps of our house. I dress up and look nice and have my kid look fairly nice. I have my husband take about a dozen pictures as we clown around, mug and pose so that at least one will turn out pretty good. I try to time it with nice light. For father's day, I take my kid down to do a photobooth (there's a few around town but we always call ahead for this one to make sure it's in service) and we give that as a gift to Dada. However, I started making him go, too, because, duh, he wants pics with the kid as well. That was sort of a let's-get-out-of-the-house and give Dad some space and we'd also pick up stuff at the deli for big "Dad" sandwiches later in the day.
The photos, though, as a time to mark an occasion it makes sense. Moms are often the photo takers in families so if this is the case in yours, she may not have many photos of herself. The kids will love it someday, too.
posted by amanda at 10:26 AM on April 19, 2018 [14 favorites]
The photos, though, as a time to mark an occasion it makes sense. Moms are often the photo takers in families so if this is the case in yours, she may not have many photos of herself. The kids will love it someday, too.
posted by amanda at 10:26 AM on April 19, 2018 [14 favorites]
Mother's Day to me is about spending time with my kids doing something I want to do. So we have always gone hiking. They enjoyed it when they were young, hated it when they were teenagers, and plan it now that they're grown.
posted by headnsouth at 10:40 AM on April 19, 2018 [7 favorites]
posted by headnsouth at 10:40 AM on April 19, 2018 [7 favorites]
We do the family-picture-on-the-front-steps thing each Mother's Day, too! It's a quick thing but it's really cool to watch the kids get bigger (and watch the parents get older) as the background stays the same.
And we always take a day trip to the beach on Mother's Day. It's low-cost (we pack a picnic), low stress, and different enough from other typical weekend days to feel special. We're in Chicago so we go to the Indiana Dunes National Lakeshore. It's often cold, but it's nice to hike down to the beach and just sit by the water and be calm for a bit. Maybe if there's no beach around, you could find a nice park to take a hike?
posted by AgentRocket at 11:02 AM on April 19, 2018
And we always take a day trip to the beach on Mother's Day. It's low-cost (we pack a picnic), low stress, and different enough from other typical weekend days to feel special. We're in Chicago so we go to the Indiana Dunes National Lakeshore. It's often cold, but it's nice to hike down to the beach and just sit by the water and be calm for a bit. Maybe if there's no beach around, you could find a nice park to take a hike?
posted by AgentRocket at 11:02 AM on April 19, 2018
To us (two moms), Mother's Day is about doing something we love, with our kids. For us, that generally means going for a leisurely walk on the beach or for a hike somewhere. The kids make homemade cards, and we either order in or go out so no one has to cook.
I've told my family I don't ever want Mother's Day to be a gift-giving holiday; I want it to be a time-sharing holiday. Kind of like Thanksgiving but without all the cooking pressure and extended family stress.
So my advice is: keep it as low-key as you can. Let the whole day be about spending leisurely time with your family. Play games together, watch a movie in your PJs. Take naps, ignore the laundry, just BE.
posted by widdershins at 12:03 PM on April 19, 2018
I've told my family I don't ever want Mother's Day to be a gift-giving holiday; I want it to be a time-sharing holiday. Kind of like Thanksgiving but without all the cooking pressure and extended family stress.
So my advice is: keep it as low-key as you can. Let the whole day be about spending leisurely time with your family. Play games together, watch a movie in your PJs. Take naps, ignore the laundry, just BE.
posted by widdershins at 12:03 PM on April 19, 2018
Loving the suggestions of special-but-low-key meal, homemade cards, and photos.
What about a short poem or letter or some other kind of written tribute? It wouldn't have to be anything fancy, especially if you're not a poet and you really know it. But something that's heartfelt and that you can hold in your hands can be very special.
The fun and special part of any tradition is that you make it a tradition, no matter what you choose.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:39 PM on April 19, 2018
What about a short poem or letter or some other kind of written tribute? It wouldn't have to be anything fancy, especially if you're not a poet and you really know it. But something that's heartfelt and that you can hold in your hands can be very special.
The fun and special part of any tradition is that you make it a tradition, no matter what you choose.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:39 PM on April 19, 2018
My kids were, um, difficult when small, so mother's and father's day meant that the celebrated parent did NOT have to parent that day.
On Mother's Day, the kids and I go to a local tulip festival every year along with my mom, and on Father's Day we take my dad for cider doughnuts at a farm.
posted by metasarah at 12:44 PM on April 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
On Mother's Day, the kids and I go to a local tulip festival every year along with my mom, and on Father's Day we take my dad for cider doughnuts at a farm.
posted by metasarah at 12:44 PM on April 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
My extended family always gets brunch for mother’s day... since you want to avoid restaurants, you could potentially host something at your house or apartment? (With takeout or a potluck and paper plates, if you want to avoid creating more work) I like a lot of the ideas above, but for me Mother’s Day isn’t just about me as a mom, but also my mom and grandma. I see Mother’s Day/ Father’s Day as a celebration of the generations, and any unofficial caretakers/role models as well. If extended family gatherings are logistically possible and emotionally desirable for you, it’s something to think about!
posted by sometamegazelle at 12:56 PM on April 19, 2018
posted by sometamegazelle at 12:56 PM on April 19, 2018
We buy and plant flowers in mother’s day. It’s nice and low key.
posted by songs_about_rainbows at 6:40 PM on April 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by songs_about_rainbows at 6:40 PM on April 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
Depending on how "right before"the day the baby arrives you may well spend the first mothers day in a bit of a fog, awash with oxytocin loves but on the near vertical learning curve of early parenthood.
Our traditions is that I get a gift which I get to choose ahead of time and which could be anything (I've had fancy kitchen knives, expensive gin, clothes, just depends) and that I get coffee brought to me in bed and my hubby takes care of dinner (either cooks it or gets takeaway). Kids are 12,7 and 5, and usually also make me cards.
posted by intergalacticvelvet at 5:26 AM on April 22, 2018
Our traditions is that I get a gift which I get to choose ahead of time and which could be anything (I've had fancy kitchen knives, expensive gin, clothes, just depends) and that I get coffee brought to me in bed and my hubby takes care of dinner (either cooks it or gets takeaway). Kids are 12,7 and 5, and usually also make me cards.
posted by intergalacticvelvet at 5:26 AM on April 22, 2018
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posted by DarlingBri at 9:50 AM on April 19, 2018 [1 favorite]