How to keep cell phone light from waking spouse
January 28, 2018 10:35 AM   Subscribe

I wake up in the middle of the night and am awake for several hours. Often I read on my cell phone. My husband and I already sleep in separate beds on opposite sides of the room, but the light from my phone is still waking him. Assuming that separate bedrooms are not possible, what are possible solutions to this problem? (Please, let's set aside discussions of proper sleep hygiene and find a way for me to stay in bed staring into my biorhythm-disrupting cell phone light.)
posted by HotToddy to Computers & Internet (29 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
Do you read under a light blanket? Can he wear a sleep mask?
posted by St. Peepsburg at 10:38 AM on January 28, 2018 [1 favorite]


What kind of phone do you have? If Android, the Lux Lite app (and probably others) lets you adjust the screen brightness to really low and switch to night life which is more red light than blue.
posted by carolr at 10:38 AM on January 28, 2018 [4 favorites]


If you're not already using a blue light filter (one example here, but there are various apps), that should help at least somewhat.
posted by the return of the thin white sock at 10:39 AM on January 28, 2018 [3 favorites]


You can invert your screen colours.
On an iPhone, you'd go to Settings > General > Accessibility > Invert Colours.
Doing this will make white screens show up as black with white text, so the phone brightness goes way down.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 10:39 AM on January 28, 2018 [12 favorites]


Could you read on a dedicated e-ink reader instead? I find they leak less light. Or can you at least switch the phone to white on black text?
posted by mskyle at 10:39 AM on January 28, 2018 [6 favorites]


Following up on the inverted color idea, if you have an iphone you can configure the triple-click of the home button to toggle between regular and inverted colors. I don’t remember offhand where the setting is, but it may be under accessibility or something similar.
posted by cgg at 10:42 AM on January 28, 2018


There's also a zoom filter you can use on the iPhone that simply dims the phone's brightness.
posted by thumpasor at 10:46 AM on January 28, 2018 [5 favorites]


I use a Kindle and it does not bother my wife at all. It's pretty dim. Also I find it is much less tempting to mess around on the web or do whatever else when I am reading it before bed versus a phone.
posted by Mid at 10:47 AM on January 28, 2018 [2 favorites]


Is he willing to wear a sleep mask?
posted by bunderful at 10:47 AM on January 28, 2018 [3 favorites]


Assuming you don't have your phone on full brightness, I'm having real difficulty believing the light from cell phone across the room is actually waking someone. Especially when it is pointing at your face. In the same bed? Sure. Across the room? I don't think so. If your phone brightness is turned down and you are STILL getting accused of waking them, I suspect they are waking anyway periodically, but they are noticing your phone when they do so and making a false equivalence.

Does he wake as soon as the sun comes up? Because if he doesn't, then it is also not the ambient light that is waking him.

However, to address the question as presented, other options are:

Reducing the contrast between the room and your phone. Do you use blackout curtains? Or is there some light in the room (streetlight bleed through the curtains etc)? If you had a nightlight (a small one) partially obscured so the room isn't pitch black (but a constant light) would he be able to sleep? Because the contrast of a phone against a dark (but not pitch black) room would be less.

Also, use an E-reader or read with an app like Marvin, where you can make the text/background colours different. I read in bed with a black background and yellowy white text. The light bleed is far, far less than other options.
posted by Brockles at 10:53 AM on January 28, 2018 [16 favorites]


I haven't used them, but perhaps a privacy curtain or folding screen would help?
posted by Wobbuffet at 10:56 AM on January 28, 2018 [4 favorites]


Room dividers are another option. They range from cheap cardboard to downright fancy.

On preview, I see Wobbuffet beat me to it.
posted by bunderful at 10:58 AM on January 28, 2018 [2 favorites]


1. Use the invert screen-colors setting on your phone.
2. Set phone brightness level to as low as you can comfortably manage without eye strain.
3. If a particular app you're using has this option, use the "night" or "after dark" setting.
4. Let him pick out a high quality sleep mask, and buy it for him. (Dream Essentials is my go-to brand. If he's a side sleeper, their Escape sleep mask is really great. What I like about it is that it is padded except for where your eyes are, so that you don't have the pressure of a mask/fabric against your eye lids. It also 'encloses' your eyes so that there is no light seepage from the sides. Has an adjustable velcro band that keeps it in place.)
posted by nightrecordings at 11:05 AM on January 28, 2018 [1 favorite]


Seconding Brockles, either he's waking up naturally and blaming your phone, or else you are, like, shifting around a little while you are reading and he is hearing the tiny noises. Anyway, if you really believe it's the dim light from your little phone, which is facing away from him, he can try a sleep mask, such as the economical and comfortable Lewis N. Clark brand available on Amazon.
posted by JimN2TAW at 11:32 AM on January 28, 2018 [2 favorites]


If you have a newer Android, it has a built-in Night Light feature that dims and warms (color-wise) the screen. It's a much less intrusive light, and doesn't bother folks sleeping in the bed right next to me--though of course partner light sensitivity varies. I believe the Android Kindle app itself has a similar option for a warmer, dimmer color.

Otherwise what about a strategically-placed item on a nightstand between your bed and theirs to block the light? Something less divisive than a room divider or curtain, something that's just part of the decor, like a lamp with a very large shade, or a piece of standing art, or a tall and dense bouquet? Placed such that it blocks the view from where your spouse sleeps to where your head and your bright electronic reading device will be?

And for a potential longer-term solution, if you're gifting types and it's financially feasible, maybe ask them for a Kindle or other e-ink reader for your next gifting holiday. You both win!
posted by rhiannonstone at 11:35 AM on January 28, 2018


All the other suggestions are more practical, so I'll just add one that's kind of out there. If you're facing away from each other, I wonder if it's reflecting off the ceiling or walls. Maybe matte paint, or artwork/tapestry for the walls? Do you wear glasses, and the light is reflecting from them? I don't know what the solution is there.
posted by AFABulous at 11:52 AM on January 28, 2018 [1 favorite]


My partner also finds it hard to sleep when my phone is on in a dark room, so I can believe it's true.

Your partner probably sleeps with his eyes a little bit open- some people just naturally do- and if that's the case, it doesn't take much light to wake them. My old housemate slept with her eyes pretty much open, and the spill of light under her bedroom door from a single bulb in the hallway used to wake her up all the time- we solved that problem by getting her a door snake thing to block the light.

What's likely happening now is that you are lying with your back to him, so the screen of your phone is facing him- and either the glowing screen is in his sightline (if he is facing you), or else the spilled light from the screen is illuminating the wall he is facing (if he is facing away from you).

1. If you lie FACING him- especially if he is lying facing away from you- the problem should be solved. He won't see your screen over your shoulder, and the reflected light he sees won't be so bright, as it will now light the wall closer to you rather than the wall closer to him.

2. Yep, eye mask, if he can handle it.

3. Darkening the wall colour will probably help as well. You can experiment by hanging some dark coloured sheet or blankets using tacks or Command hooks- you will likely need to darken both walls that he might be facing when he falls asleep either on his right or left side- and if that works, you can make it permanent by painting the two walls he would be facing, choosing a dark, rich, fairly matte colour like navy, burgundy, or charcoal. This can be really beautiful- search dramatic bedroom or moody bedroom for ideas.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 12:52 PM on January 28, 2018 [1 favorite]


Whenever I wake in the night and my wakefulness is likely to bother my husband, I go settle into the recliner or couch in the living room. I keep a comfy but decorative pillow and blanket out the just for this purpose.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 1:45 PM on January 28, 2018 [3 favorites]


You say 'reading'...do you mean ebooks or just general internet? For e-reading get the 'moon reader' app. (You may hate it at first...you gotta tweak all the settings (margins, font, background, page controls etc) but then you end up with exactly what you want) I suggest it because the brightness settings go way lower than my phone usually does. Pretty sure it does invert too.

I feel the pain...for me it's the (cheap) LED Christmas lights I have up in the next room.They are particularly 'buzzy' and I get woken up by them every time I accidentally leave them on...from the next room, around the corner, through closed eyelids. For me it's when the colors change. I guess it's just a lot more abrupt than incandescent. The way internet pages load could be the trigger.
posted by sexyrobot at 2:18 PM on January 28, 2018


I answered an similar question in Nov with detailed instructions for making a iPhone emit very little light.
posted by nicwolff at 2:20 PM on January 28, 2018 [1 favorite]


My husband’s phone has a privacy screen protector and it reduces nighttime light pollution to the sides very significantly.
posted by olinerd at 4:28 PM on January 28, 2018 [1 favorite]


Just to say, even if he's not literally waking *because* of your phone, it's pretty much the same thing. People wake up a tiny bit numerous times during the night. If the light is turning these tiny shifts into full awakeness and preventing him from getting back to sleep, when without the phone he would've been half-awake for a second and then fallen right back to sleep without registering it, it's really the same to him as if the phone is literally waking him. I don't think that should be an issue here at all when you're trying to figure out how to decrease the disturbance to his sleep.
posted by velveeta underground at 4:54 PM on January 28, 2018 [4 favorites]


I wanted to second the privacy screen protector - it's just a film on the screen and definitely reduces the side light pollution.

As another angle on this, what about audiobooks or podcasts? The screen can be off and at least for me, it encourages me to go back to sleep.
posted by mercredi at 5:05 PM on January 28, 2018 [1 favorite]


My wife and I had this problem. I got a kindle. She insists on reading on her phone or paper books with a reading light, so I use an eye mask. On the rare occasions, I must read from my phone or iPad, I go to another room. It’s not very clever or high tech, but we no longer argue about this issue.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 6:58 PM on January 28, 2018 [1 favorite]


I am you, and I just go in the living room and lie on the couch to play with my phone, and if I fall asleep there, so be it.
posted by ryanbryan at 2:28 AM on January 29, 2018 [1 favorite]


On an iPhone, you'd go to Settings > General > Accessibility > Invert Colours.

There's a much better way to reduce the brightness on iPhone: Settings -> General -> Accessibility -> Display Accommodations -> Reduce White Point.

This lets you reduce the effective brightness below the minimum (which is still pretty bright).
posted by neckro23 at 8:34 AM on January 29, 2018 [2 favorites]


I do this somewhat frequently and it's been months since I woke my spouse up, and we are in the same queen bed. For one thing I listen for her breathing and shifting around and quickly hide my screen if I think she is stirring. When she's deeply asleep it's unlikely that the light will wake her up but if she's a little wakeful and rolling over it's best if there's no artificial light. I also use the Twilight app. It can change the screen colors, but I don't use it for that - I use it to him the screen below the stock minimum. On an AMOLED screen this reduces the total amount of light, I don't know if it will do the same on other types of screens.
posted by Tehhund at 1:33 PM on January 29, 2018


Wow, the kindle VR reader suggestion linked in that other thread looks interesting.

In my experience, even a super-dim screen is disruptive without eye masks or a breathing tube. A VR set would be possible to make totally dark.
posted by Phssthpok at 7:10 PM on January 29, 2018


Settings > General > Accessibility > Zoom, then

1. Zoom Region > Full Screen Zoom
2. Zoom Filter > Low Light

To make this quick to activate and deactivate, you can set it as your Home button's triple-click shortcut:

Settings > General > Accessibility > Accessibility Shortcut (it's way at the bottom!) > Zoom

Then turn down brightness all the way. If this is still too much light you can check Reduce White Point and Smart Invert Colors as well, and then triple-clicking the Home button will give you a little menu of the three options.
posted by nicwolff at 3:47 PM on January 30, 2018 [1 favorite]


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