Dating 101
November 15, 2017 10:20 AM   Subscribe

There's this guy in my dog training class and I feel like we could hit it off. But I am an introvert and the class is not set up as such that you really get to interact with the other participants. Help me figure out how to talk to this guy and possibly ask him out!

I'm attending a weekly dog training class with my dog. There are three more sessions left. It's a small group setting, about 7 people with their dogs, and the class is set up so that we're all kind of separated and the trainer is doing most of the talking and then we're interacting with our own dogs. Not really set up to interact with the other participants.

But I've noticed a guy who usually sits across the room from me and I feel like we could hit it off. He is attractive and seems pretty laid back and funny, from the interactions I've seen between him and the trainer. How do I talk to him and/or possibly see if he'd like to go on a date? I feel like approaching to ask for a date with no prior conversation between us would be too forward. I tend to be a little shy and overthink things as well. Help me figure out how to get something going with this guy as naturally as possible!

I know it seems obvious... Strike up a conversation about his dog. But where do I go from there?
posted by Malleable to Human Relations (9 answers total)
"Hey, I'd love to try some of this out in a real-world setting. Would you and Rex be interested in going to XYZ dog park with Fido and me this weekend?"
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 10:33 AM on November 15, 2017 [11 favorites]

Talk to him about his dog, ask if he's from the area and if he has family here. That will give you an idea of whether he's attached. Then ask if would like to have coffee.
posted by KleenexMakesaVeryGoodHat at 10:33 AM on November 15, 2017 [4 favorites]

After class, walk your dog up to his, "Hey, I'm kind of an introvert, so uh, want to maybe set up a playdate with #hisdog and #yourdog sometime?"
posted by notsnot at 10:34 AM on November 15, 2017

NotMyselfRightNow's reply is even better!
posted by KleenexMakesaVeryGoodHat at 10:34 AM on November 15, 2017

These suggestion are somewhat vague, in that you are asking to be dog friends, not human dating friends.

My husband, for example, has done at least one entire 6 week training class with a foster dog without me. We usually both go to dog training together, but not all places allow more than one person.

I think being more up front about a date, rather than a dog play date, would be good, unless you are also open to making new platonic friends with this person.
posted by Squeak Attack at 10:40 AM on November 15, 2017 [6 favorites]

You may be an introvert without being shy, you know...

What I’d do is strike up a conversation about his dog, smile a lot and show interest and tell him I look forward to seeing him next week (or whenever the next session is). And see where it goes.

Personally, I’d wait until the third time to express interest because by then you should have an idea about whether he is available, etc.
posted by Kwadeng at 10:41 AM on November 15, 2017 [3 favorites]

Other dog owners when chatting with me will ask about my dog, his name, etc. Even details like where we live and what parks we go to are still very dog centric. My ears would perk up if they asked for MY name.

So asking questions about him, unrelated to his pet, is a good signal.

But you know, build up to that. Early goal is to find out what dog parks they like to go to. That way if you don't convert into a date by the time class is over, you still maybe have a chance meeting at the park. Good luck!
posted by danny the boy at 11:17 AM on November 15, 2017 [3 favorites]

Say absolutely any old rubbish.

I don't mean that literally. I mean, don't go out of your way to say something inane, - but really the point of it is to talk - so the 'what you say' isn't as important as the fact that you say it.

All the mistakes, glitches, faltering, stumbles, - everything - are all perfect and wonderful.

You can be responsible for you and he can be responsible for him. And that is just as it should be.

Best of luck.
posted by Quillcards at 3:22 PM on November 15, 2017 [5 favorites]

I'm pretty introverted but have noticed that dog owners generally love talking about their dogs. I would ask him a bunch of questions about his dog then ask what else there is to do in the neighborhood, then ask if he'd like to do that together sometime, then ask him to call / text you if there's a good time. That's a pretty low key way of getting the ball rolling with lots of opportunities for him to mention a girlfriend and lots of ways to blow you off (like by not texting).
posted by xammerboy at 10:55 PM on November 15, 2017

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