Is an organizer appropriate for this?
October 19, 2017 1:03 PM Subscribe
I’m dealing with the aftermath of a sexual assault. It turns out that being assaulted is a lot of work; I’ve got all sorts of things I need to keep track of, and other parts of my life aren’t being attended to (normal things like dealing with my budget, and accomplishing bureaucratic tasks related to things like health insurance, savings accounts, etc.). Could an organizer help me get my affairs in order? I guess I’m looking for someone who can help me for an afternoon or two to deal with all these things that feel like I can’t quite manage on my own.
Response by poster: Thanks. I’m not looking for strategies to do this on my own.
posted by superswell at 1:08 PM on October 19, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by superswell at 1:08 PM on October 19, 2017 [4 favorites]
There are lots of reasons why people fall behind on bureaucratic life stuff, and may want to use an organizer (a director I worked with once asked me if I wanted to come help be her orgnanizer for an hour one afternoon for no other reason than "i'm flaky"). If you have the money to pay one, it couldn't hurt. You need not even tell them why you need help as such if you don't want to (although if they'll be helping you deal with things like scheduling doctors' appointments or things related to your case, you may want to come up with some explanation like "I'm dealing with a court case that's a bit sensitive", or some other kind of say-something tell-nothing thing like that).
I don't think it at all an unusual thing for you to consider hiring someone to help for a couple hours if you need a boost.
good luck.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:15 PM on October 19, 2017 [8 favorites]
I don't think it at all an unusual thing for you to consider hiring someone to help for a couple hours if you need a boost.
good luck.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:15 PM on October 19, 2017 [8 favorites]
As far as I'm concerned, we all could use a little help, and if you feel a personal assistant would help you, then by all means go for it.
There are a lot of VPA (virtual personal assistant) websites out there. Some with onshore, some with offshore, and some with both. Let your fingers do the shopping and see which ones you feel might be a good fit.
While you deal with healing yourself, they can deal with the mundane, everyday tasks that might feel like too much at this time.
posted by Major Matt Mason Dixon at 1:19 PM on October 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
There are a lot of VPA (virtual personal assistant) websites out there. Some with onshore, some with offshore, and some with both. Let your fingers do the shopping and see which ones you feel might be a good fit.
While you deal with healing yourself, they can deal with the mundane, everyday tasks that might feel like too much at this time.
posted by Major Matt Mason Dixon at 1:19 PM on October 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
Yes. This is something a personal organizer or a personal assistant can do. Give one a try - maybe use Angie's List or Care.com for a good place to start to find one.
Best wishes.
posted by Dashy at 1:21 PM on October 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
Best wishes.
posted by Dashy at 1:21 PM on October 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
I know you probably have reasons for not disclosing your location and that's fine. I just want to say that if you're in or close to New Orleans I would be happy to help. You can just MeMail me if so.
posted by komara at 1:29 PM on October 19, 2017
posted by komara at 1:29 PM on October 19, 2017
Response by poster: Ah! I don’t mind sharing my location, and it’s a good thought, komara. I’m in the state of New York in the greater NYC metropolitan area.
posted by superswell at 1:33 PM on October 19, 2017
posted by superswell at 1:33 PM on October 19, 2017
I volunteer doing this kind of work (quietly) at my local Rape Crisis center. I'm a hyper-organized type of person and doing this helps me feel like I'm using my actual skills to help heal people and make the world a better place. If you can, try contacting your local Rape Crisis Services - they probably have volunteers and/or referrals to give you to do just this very thing. You've been through a lot of trauma, and someone local who understands that and is prepared is out there waiting to help you.
posted by juniperesque at 1:51 PM on October 19, 2017 [12 favorites]
posted by juniperesque at 1:51 PM on October 19, 2017 [12 favorites]
Please check your MeMail in about 3 minutes.
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 2:29 PM on October 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 2:29 PM on October 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
Superswell, I replied to your memail, but for the good of others who might later read this question, I wanted to share some general thoughts here.
As a professional organizer, I can say that yes, a professional organizer who focuses on productivity/time management (as opposed to those who generally focus on organizing tangible items) would absolutely be able to help you in this regard. She would help you brainstorm all of the financial, legal, and health tasks necessary and prioritize them, support you in scheduling appointments and getting tasks completed, and make sure the paperwork is covered, and give you supportive accountability to work things to completion.
That said, I'm mindful of the fact that professionals such as my colleagues do this for a living, and it seems incredibly unfair that you should have to spend money to achieve goals forced upon you (or even regular tasks made more difficult) due to what you suffered. So while yes, a professional organizer would absolutely be able to help you, juniperesque's suggestion to go to a Rape Crisis Services location to get support at no cost is also a wise idea that may allow you to process tasks related, even tangentially to your attack.
There is no reason not to avail yourself of multiple options, because a crisis center has volunteers for some of your specific needs and a professional organizer can approach your general (and specific) needs in much the same way we'd work with anyone who suffers overwhelm due to a trauma.
Please feel free to reply to my MeMail reply to you if you'd like me to help you locate an NYC-area professional organizer (or list of a few) who could provide compassionate assistance and help you feel more empowered with regard to the issues you mentioned. As I said in my MeMail, I understand your desire to not disclose much, but Jessamyn or Cortex can vouch for my reputation and confidentiality, so if you'd like to talk on the phone at some point, we can do that, too.
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 2:48 PM on October 19, 2017 [9 favorites]
As a professional organizer, I can say that yes, a professional organizer who focuses on productivity/time management (as opposed to those who generally focus on organizing tangible items) would absolutely be able to help you in this regard. She would help you brainstorm all of the financial, legal, and health tasks necessary and prioritize them, support you in scheduling appointments and getting tasks completed, and make sure the paperwork is covered, and give you supportive accountability to work things to completion.
That said, I'm mindful of the fact that professionals such as my colleagues do this for a living, and it seems incredibly unfair that you should have to spend money to achieve goals forced upon you (or even regular tasks made more difficult) due to what you suffered. So while yes, a professional organizer would absolutely be able to help you, juniperesque's suggestion to go to a Rape Crisis Services location to get support at no cost is also a wise idea that may allow you to process tasks related, even tangentially to your attack.
There is no reason not to avail yourself of multiple options, because a crisis center has volunteers for some of your specific needs and a professional organizer can approach your general (and specific) needs in much the same way we'd work with anyone who suffers overwhelm due to a trauma.
Please feel free to reply to my MeMail reply to you if you'd like me to help you locate an NYC-area professional organizer (or list of a few) who could provide compassionate assistance and help you feel more empowered with regard to the issues you mentioned. As I said in my MeMail, I understand your desire to not disclose much, but Jessamyn or Cortex can vouch for my reputation and confidentiality, so if you'd like to talk on the phone at some point, we can do that, too.
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 2:48 PM on October 19, 2017 [9 favorites]
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Everyone handles life circumstances differently. If it were me, I'd make to-do lists on to-do lists. I might start a google sheets and do a tab for "life things I can't forget to do" and "abuse things to keep track of" and have sections within each with deadlines and links to other things.
posted by bbqturtle at 1:06 PM on October 19, 2017