Tea Masochists Unite
September 14, 2017 8:13 PM Subscribe
Is there an equivalent of "SUPER XTREME HI-OCTANE DEATH POWER" type foods (like with hot sauce or coffee) or weird intense eating/drinking challenges for tea?
A conversation with a friend about a weird tea product promising "hotter tea" led to him exclaiming "Next thing we'll have tea masochists up in here inventing the caffeine tannin equivalent of the Tequila Suicide." Which made me wonder if there are such challenges for tea drinkers - whether in the tea itself (like the above links to hot sauce and coffee) or in the way the tea is drunk (the Tequila Suicide involves, in part, squirting lime juice into your eyes).
I found Extreme Tea, which is about drinking tea in unusual locations. ("Xtreme Tea" brings me a product about composting.) But that's it really.
A conversation with a friend about a weird tea product promising "hotter tea" led to him exclaiming "Next thing we'll have tea masochists up in here inventing the caffeine tannin equivalent of the Tequila Suicide." Which made me wonder if there are such challenges for tea drinkers - whether in the tea itself (like the above links to hot sauce and coffee) or in the way the tea is drunk (the Tequila Suicide involves, in part, squirting lime juice into your eyes).
I found Extreme Tea, which is about drinking tea in unusual locations. ("Xtreme Tea" brings me a product about composting.) But that's it really.
Yeah, maybe a very aged cake of pu'erh.
Or, if you're just looking for spicy, there are tea blends with peppercorns in them.
Tea is such a quiet joy. Even gunpowder tea isn't very violent.
posted by Miss T.Horn at 10:26 PM on September 14, 2017 [5 favorites]
Or, if you're just looking for spicy, there are tea blends with peppercorns in them.
Tea is such a quiet joy. Even gunpowder tea isn't very violent.
posted by Miss T.Horn at 10:26 PM on September 14, 2017 [5 favorites]
Zavarka isn't that extreme, unless you start going just for straight concentrate instead of diluting it with additional hot water, and that's only extreme if you start having more than 2 mugs of straight tea concentrate... and extreme in the way that you'll just be VERY AWAKE and TWITCHING AT THE UNIVERSE for probably 3-4hrs. (also known as how I get through Mondays)
The quality of tea matters though, since you are letting it steep for a longer time to get the concentrate; you can't make zavarka with tea bags if you value any of your tastebuds.
posted by larthegreat at 5:28 AM on September 15, 2017 [1 favorite]
The quality of tea matters though, since you are letting it steep for a longer time to get the concentrate; you can't make zavarka with tea bags if you value any of your tastebuds.
posted by larthegreat at 5:28 AM on September 15, 2017 [1 favorite]
There are people who take pride in brewing their (camellia sinensis) tea strong enough to "take the varnish off the table." That's the closest to macho posturing I really see in tea culture.
If you expand tea to mean any infusion, then there are absolutely blends that get as wacky as you like. Yes, someone out there has made ghost pepper (herbal) tea.
posted by Karmakaze at 6:11 AM on September 15, 2017 [1 favorite]
If you expand tea to mean any infusion, then there are absolutely blends that get as wacky as you like. Yes, someone out there has made ghost pepper (herbal) tea.
posted by Karmakaze at 6:11 AM on September 15, 2017 [1 favorite]
Lapsang Souchong? The term 'acquired taste' must have been invented for this tea...
If you want a more 'substantial' challenge, try Tibetan butter tea.
May G** have mercy on your taste buds!
posted by Parsnip at 7:03 AM on September 15, 2017 [1 favorite]
If you want a more 'substantial' challenge, try Tibetan butter tea.
May G** have mercy on your taste buds!
posted by Parsnip at 7:03 AM on September 15, 2017 [1 favorite]
I tend to think extreme tea is just... knowing a ton about tea and getting the steeping times and water temperatures perfect. One of the selling points of tea vs coffee is that tea is relaxing and coffee gets you all fired up and jittery. Like, you may be really awake on coffee, but tea leaves you mellow and able to focus.
I'm going to go steep a cup of the sencha of brightness that I picked up at High Garden Teas in Nashville at 80C for one minute.
posted by bile and syntax at 8:06 AM on September 15, 2017
I'm going to go steep a cup of the sencha of brightness that I picked up at High Garden Teas in Nashville at 80C for one minute.
posted by bile and syntax at 8:06 AM on September 15, 2017
The extreme teas that come to mind for me are related to workplaces:
posted by scruss at 9:35 AM on September 15, 2017 [4 favorites]
- Glasgow machine shop tea: black tea boiled hard for 15 minutes. Needed a tablespoon of sugar and milk to even approach being drinkable.
- Kenyan labourer's tea: black tea boiled up with (sometimes condensed) milk and masala spice. Surprisingly pleasant, though very sugary and strong. (Tamil masala tea served around here is similar.)
- Hertfordshire office char: milky black tea, not strong, but so alkaline from the hard water from the Chilterns that you get crunchy bits sometimes …
posted by scruss at 9:35 AM on September 15, 2017 [4 favorites]
(scruss, any detailed recipes or sources for those teas you mention would be most welcome! At least the first two sound divine to me.)
posted by Dr. Wu at 2:14 PM on September 15, 2017
posted by Dr. Wu at 2:14 PM on September 15, 2017
Dr Wu, here's a recipe for Kenyan chai. We drank very similar tea for elevenses when I worked in a hospital over the border in Tanzania, served with a loaf of value supermarket sliced white bread to dip in it. You'd pass round the loaf of bread still in its plastic bag, and everyone would take a slice or two. Tea came in a big floral thermos.
posted by tinkletown at 2:52 PM on September 15, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by tinkletown at 2:52 PM on September 15, 2017 [2 favorites]
Maybe try a Matcha Challenge? (Like the Cinnamon Challenge, but with matcha?)
posted by WasabiFlux at 7:03 PM on September 15, 2017
posted by WasabiFlux at 7:03 PM on September 15, 2017
Yeah, tinkletown's link describes how I was shown to make chai. Condensed milk might've just been a way to sweeten it. Depends if you can get tea spice, though.
The Glasgow stuff was too many black teabags chucked into boiling water for 15 minutes. It really was aggressively strong. We had to sandblast a machinist's mug to break off the accumulated milk/tea/sugar plaque.
I've seen someone snort matcha once. Luminous sneezes and heart palpitations ensued. It's not worth it.
posted by scruss at 1:54 PM on September 16, 2017
The Glasgow stuff was too many black teabags chucked into boiling water for 15 minutes. It really was aggressively strong. We had to sandblast a machinist's mug to break off the accumulated milk/tea/sugar plaque.
I've seen someone snort matcha once. Luminous sneezes and heart palpitations ensued. It's not worth it.
posted by scruss at 1:54 PM on September 16, 2017
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Knowledge on this: I used to work for Unilever.
posted by Nanukthedog at 8:47 PM on September 14, 2017