Sock puns

September 4, 2017 4:30 PM

I'm in the position of needing to mail some socks back to a friend who lent them to me for bowling this weekend. He enjoys silly cards with silly puns, so I'm trying to think up dumb sock puns to accompany the returning socks. (They're plain white athletic ankle socks, in case you're wondering.)
posted by ocherdraco to Grab Bag (16 answers total)

This is a little long, but it's the best socks pun I know.
posted by phoenixy at 4:33 PM on September 4, 2017 [14 favorites]

Thanks for helping me mate!
posted by mermaidcafe at 4:40 PM on September 4, 2017

I'm restocking your stockings. Thanks for letting me borrow the darned things!
posted by rouftop at 4:44 PM on September 4, 2017 [4 favorites]

Thanks for socking it to me!
posted by ferret branca at 4:59 PM on September 4, 2017

My gratitude is a-pair-ent!
posted by mogget at 5:05 PM on September 4, 2017

Someday I'll spin a yarn about how you knocked my socks off by lending me yours.

I'd feel like a heel if I didn't return them promptly.
posted by bunderful at 5:16 PM on September 4, 2017 [2 favorites]

"Thanks for loaning me your socks. I gutter go out and pick up a spare pair for myself soon."

I guess that's not a pun about socks, though.
posted by Gorgik at 5:17 PM on September 4, 2017 [1 favorite]

Personally I'd just stick googly eyes on them and be done with it. The eyes with the sticky backing will stick long enough for joking purposes without ruining the socks as they can be peeled off again.
posted by ninazer0 at 5:31 PM on September 4, 2017

Don't mean to knit a long yarn but darn it, I'd feel like a heel if I didn't say "Thanks"!
posted by ardgedee at 6:12 PM on September 4, 2017 [2 favorites]

"Darn" is all you need. It's truly hilarious.
posted by kevinbelt at 6:23 PM on September 4, 2017

You could include a copy of "The Lady From Sockholm" - a feature length film noir sock puppet film.
posted by Sophont at 6:59 PM on September 4, 2017

Thanks, hoser!
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 7:03 PM on September 4, 2017

This list of sock users is a good starting point for sock puns.
posted by Dashy at 7:05 PM on September 4, 2017 [2 favorites]

He'll need to pardon the socksual innuendo. I mean really.
posted by amtho at 8:04 PM on September 4, 2017 [1 favorite]

Best answer: I was dis-pairing - and then you stepped in-
two white socks- $friend'sname for the win!
posted by freethefeet at 4:10 AM on September 5, 2017

Response by poster: That's the best option given the specifics of my situation. Thanks pun masters of mefi!
posted by ocherdraco at 7:48 PM on September 10, 2017