How to encourage a student who isn't improving?
September 25, 2016 4:05 AM Subscribe
I have a student in a one-on-one situation who takes a while to get new math concepts. We can go for an hour without any real improvement. She appears frustrated, though, when probed, she'll just make a joke and not discuss it directly.
How can I balance investing myself in her progress while only displaying encouragement and positive feedback?
Yeah, shifting gears when she's not getting it, and toggling through several different learning styles, is critical. Make sure at least one of your styles is visual and another is participatory, so break down the concept into little blocks she can teach back to you or talk through while drawing or modeling.
Also! For a lot of learners, the moments right before the light bulb goes on is a moment of actual neurological turmoil, and the frustration can be immense but is also inexplicable. I'm old enough that I'll throw something at you for trying to make me explain why I'm frustrated - there IS no why, my brain hurts! - because I just feel bad, it's not a discussable thing.
For some people, that moment just has to be gritted through. For some like me, actually backing off for a minute and doing something else, then coming back, is where I then totally do the thing like I've been doing it all along. This is as true for me with physical skills as mental ones - I'm always the one throwing down the tool/exiting the game/throwing the pan in the sink and storming off, then coming back 20 minutes later and being all set. If she's like that, maybe stand up and shake it off or take 2 minutes to do an easier drill or play a quick game of tic-tac-toe and then dive back in.
posted by Lyn Never at 9:10 AM on September 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
Also! For a lot of learners, the moments right before the light bulb goes on is a moment of actual neurological turmoil, and the frustration can be immense but is also inexplicable. I'm old enough that I'll throw something at you for trying to make me explain why I'm frustrated - there IS no why, my brain hurts! - because I just feel bad, it's not a discussable thing.
For some people, that moment just has to be gritted through. For some like me, actually backing off for a minute and doing something else, then coming back, is where I then totally do the thing like I've been doing it all along. This is as true for me with physical skills as mental ones - I'm always the one throwing down the tool/exiting the game/throwing the pan in the sink and storming off, then coming back 20 minutes later and being all set. If she's like that, maybe stand up and shake it off or take 2 minutes to do an easier drill or play a quick game of tic-tac-toe and then dive back in.
posted by Lyn Never at 9:10 AM on September 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
I like the previous comment. As an adult in a work environment, I recently asked a question of someone on my team and what happened next was an incredibly frustrating conversation. I was asking what we meant by a specific term, and instead of giving me the basic definition and then illustrating with examples, including outliers, he started with the outliers. The more I said I was confused and didn't get it, the more he doubled down with the outliers.
As a grown-up, I was able to think this over and go back to him later and explain why that was not for me the most successful conversation and what I needed to understand better in the future. Turns out he's used to explaining to people who need to hear all the outliers.
So the presentation method can make a difference, but also the order in which info is presented.
When she laughs when you ask about her being frustrated, maybe just wait a bit before you say anything else. I was a nervous kid with a lot of walls up. Humor was a way to deflect when I wasn't sure what to say. Sometimes if someone sat with me for a few minutes and waited, I'd pop up with the truth. That all depends on her feeling somewhat safe with you - or any adults at all for that matter.
posted by bunderful at 9:12 AM on September 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
As a grown-up, I was able to think this over and go back to him later and explain why that was not for me the most successful conversation and what I needed to understand better in the future. Turns out he's used to explaining to people who need to hear all the outliers.
So the presentation method can make a difference, but also the order in which info is presented.
When she laughs when you ask about her being frustrated, maybe just wait a bit before you say anything else. I was a nervous kid with a lot of walls up. Humor was a way to deflect when I wasn't sure what to say. Sometimes if someone sat with me for a few minutes and waited, I'd pop up with the truth. That all depends on her feeling somewhat safe with you - or any adults at all for that matter.
posted by bunderful at 9:12 AM on September 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
I could have been your student when I was a kid. I wasn't really able to express my frustration at all, I just knew whatever teachers were trying to cram into me wasn't right for my brain. I know that I was exasperating to my teachers. (Several of them told me so. This was the opposite of helpful.)
In your position I would take break from the math for a whole tutoring session. Sit down with them and talk about their other studies. What subjects do they like? What do they like about them? What do they like outside of school? Then take some of your own time and figure out what these things have in common with each other, and try to adjust your tutoring you match. If they have a favorite teacher, see if you can sit down with them and talk about your student.
Then, at very least, you can start finding direct connections between those subjects and the math concepts. Real world examples were critical to helping me get a basic grasp of what they were trying to teach me.
But really what you're looking for is what they find interesting. Interest is the most important divider between subjects I would excel at and those I'd fail. If my interest was piqued, I'd pursue it outside of class. If I didn't care, I wouldn't even work on it in class.
Two examples that really stick out for me are a teacher friend with a class full of students have trouble getting percentages. Until she showed them how to figure out how much things cost when they were on sale for xx% off. They all aced the next test because they had both interest in figuring it out, and a real world example.
The other is a friend who had a very hard time with certain mathematical principles until he learned that music is full of mathematical relationships (tempo, note frequencies, harmonics, etc.) Now he's on the staff at MIT.
You don't give a lot of detail in your question, so I might be taking a dangerously wrong detour here at the end, but a few things stuck out to me:
1) We can go for an hour without any real improvement. Lower your expectations, like significantly. There are precious few individual hours in my life where I've shown visible improvement in anything at all. Usually things need to marinate before they sink in, and extra pressure won't help. I'll leave the lesson preoccupied with how I disappointed my teacher, not thinking about the math.
2) How can I balance investing myself in her progress while only displaying encouragement and positive feedback? Good that you're trying to be encouraging, but it's important that you're honest and have empathy. I had tutors say things like "That's really good," but it was clearly a lie and they delivered it with a fake smile followed by a "but…" and a correction. I hated those tutors. They were lying to my damn face. I didn't want them saying things like "I know you're frustrated…" I wanted them right there beside me, as mad at the mathematics as I was. If you're disappointed (And it's okay to be) make sure they know you're disappointed in yourself and your materials for not being up to the task. It's not the student's fault.
posted by Ookseer at 11:13 AM on September 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
In your position I would take break from the math for a whole tutoring session. Sit down with them and talk about their other studies. What subjects do they like? What do they like about them? What do they like outside of school? Then take some of your own time and figure out what these things have in common with each other, and try to adjust your tutoring you match. If they have a favorite teacher, see if you can sit down with them and talk about your student.
Then, at very least, you can start finding direct connections between those subjects and the math concepts. Real world examples were critical to helping me get a basic grasp of what they were trying to teach me.
But really what you're looking for is what they find interesting. Interest is the most important divider between subjects I would excel at and those I'd fail. If my interest was piqued, I'd pursue it outside of class. If I didn't care, I wouldn't even work on it in class.
Two examples that really stick out for me are a teacher friend with a class full of students have trouble getting percentages. Until she showed them how to figure out how much things cost when they were on sale for xx% off. They all aced the next test because they had both interest in figuring it out, and a real world example.
The other is a friend who had a very hard time with certain mathematical principles until he learned that music is full of mathematical relationships (tempo, note frequencies, harmonics, etc.) Now he's on the staff at MIT.
You don't give a lot of detail in your question, so I might be taking a dangerously wrong detour here at the end, but a few things stuck out to me:
1) We can go for an hour without any real improvement. Lower your expectations, like significantly. There are precious few individual hours in my life where I've shown visible improvement in anything at all. Usually things need to marinate before they sink in, and extra pressure won't help. I'll leave the lesson preoccupied with how I disappointed my teacher, not thinking about the math.
2) How can I balance investing myself in her progress while only displaying encouragement and positive feedback? Good that you're trying to be encouraging, but it's important that you're honest and have empathy. I had tutors say things like "That's really good," but it was clearly a lie and they delivered it with a fake smile followed by a "but…" and a correction. I hated those tutors. They were lying to my damn face. I didn't want them saying things like "I know you're frustrated…" I wanted them right there beside me, as mad at the mathematics as I was. If you're disappointed (And it's okay to be) make sure they know you're disappointed in yourself and your materials for not being up to the task. It's not the student's fault.
posted by Ookseer at 11:13 AM on September 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
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The first thing you need to figure out is why she's not improving. Is the material being presented in a way that doesn't work for her? Does she have working memory issues where she can't retain a lot of concepts in her head? Is her processing speed lower and as soon as material becomes multi-step or more complex, she can't keep up? Does she need visual breakdowns of formulas in front of her? Does she have any spatial issues where the work itself appears confusing? Find out where the mismatch is occurring.
Example: I work with a lot of kinesthetic learners whose teachers lecture and explain concepts verbally and when students say they don't get it, the teacher continues to talk, which only frustrates the kids. They don't understand why they're unable to pick up the information -- all they know is that they can't, which makes them feel stupid.
I would start by explaining that for her best learning, you're going to work together to discover her learning style. Once she has a good handle on how she learns, she'll gain confidence and be able to access material in a way that makes sense for her.
Present the same material in a few different ways. Maybe drawings or a Khan Academy video. Have her write out a problem and explain her thinking out loud. Ask her which of these methods helped her and which did not.
If this is presented as, "Let's work together to do your best learning" as opposed to "DO YOUR MATH," you'll be encouraging her and giving her positive feedback.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 4:42 AM on September 25, 2016 [29 favorites]