car restraint for grade school-aged child

May 3, 2016 6:07 PM

My 7 year old goes to a special-ed school that some in the district refer to as "the school for violent children." In the car, he thinks it's funny to undo his little brother's seatbelt and/or beat his brother up. I need some way to safely restrain him in the car.
posted by colin_l to Travel & Transportation (17 answers total)

This is a tough one. Are you on Facebook? Join the group Carseats for the Littles and message the page directly with this question. They have special needs CPSTs in the group who may have some useful suggestions.
posted by pecanpies at 6:11 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

How much does he weigh? Can he undo a 5 point by himself? There are 5 point restraints at higher weights.
posted by k8t at 6:15 PM on May 3, 2016

As a stopgap, I might try putting a very large stuffed animal between them, also belted in? He won't be able to reach his brother as well and might focus on its seatbelt instead.
posted by delezzo at 6:15 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

I've used these angel clips with some adults with special needs. It might not be the best long term solution because it reduces independence, but maybe it can give you some peace of mind for a while.
posted by missriss89 at 6:23 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

You can use a plastic solo cup to prevent someone from unbuckling a seatbelt. This might help keep your younger kid's seatbelt buckled.

If you need a 5-point harness for the older child, I'd look at the Britax Frontier, Britax Pinnacle, or Recaro ProSport. All are supposed to fit kids up to 90 lbs and 58" tall.
posted by belladonna at 6:39 PM on May 3, 2016

I know it's not the ideal safety option, but putting one of them in the front seat is safer than having one or both of them unrestrained in the back.

(Also, hugs. I had a tough kid who was scary to a sibling and it was so stressful and horrifying.)
posted by metasarah at 6:41 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

Ask the teachers at the school. A friend of mine teaches at what sounds like a similar special education school to the one you describe and based on past conversations with him I'd say that this is a pretty common problem. The teachers will have seen many different solutions and will be able to suggest options.
posted by coleboptera at 7:00 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]

My child is just a few months short of 7 and cannot undo the 5 point harness by himself-takes too much thumb strength to ouch in the release button between his legs. Would that work for him?
posted by purenitrous at 7:57 PM on May 3, 2016

Nthing that if the 5 point harness doesn't work, you should ask the special ed teachers. Raising any child is a big deal, but raising a child with special needs is a bigger deal. The teachers and any therapists help families for a living. They have a handle on what may help your child and the rest of the family. They want to help all of you have an easier day to day. I ask my kid's teachers and therapists lots of questions. And they've been happy to help and provide more resources than I can get through. Please try to use these resources if you haven't. They're partially there for parent sanity.
posted by Kalmya at 8:22 PM on May 3, 2016

Someone mentioned this travel vest in another (kid travel related) thread.
posted by The Shoodoonoof at 8:53 PM on May 3, 2016

My five-year-old "difficult" child just learned to undo a 5-point harness, so I wouldn't count on that. (I am reading these answers intently, since I need a solution to this problem as well).
posted by celtalitha at 11:32 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

You can flip the bottom buckle backwards on the five point making it pretty much impossible for the person in the seat to get enough leverage to undo it but any adult standing next to the seat can unlatch it with only a tiny bit more effort.
posted by saradarlin at 1:51 AM on May 4, 2016 [2 favorites]

We had kids that were very inquisitive about anything accessible and obvious, including their car seats. Reversing the bottom buckle on the five point is very effective but may require some rejiggering of the other bits as well.
posted by jgreco at 5:53 AM on May 4, 2016

How about a little bit of divide and conquer (and distract). If you use one of these, and maybe put a couple fidget sticks, a magna doodle, etc inside?
posted by ReluctantViking at 5:55 AM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

The Car Seat Blog/ Forums have some suggestions.
posted by oceano at 9:33 PM on May 4, 2016

Chiming back in to recommend that you please consult a special needs Child Passenger Safety Technician (CPST) about this. You've gotten some well-intentioned but dangerous advice on this thread. If you're in the US, you can search for one here or use the Facebook group I referred to above.
posted by pecanpies at 4:07 AM on May 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Find some youtube videos about safety and make it clear that compromising Sibling's safety will not be tolerated.

Every trip that the seat belts stay fastened gets a sticker. 3 stickers get a small treat. 5 days of seat belts gets a small treat, like breakfast sandwiches.

If a seat belt is unfastened, the radio goes to news, any in-car toys or treats get removed. The car stops, parent reattaches belt and is pointedly disapproving.

Is this a ploy to delay getting to school?
posted by theora55 at 12:42 PM on May 5, 2016