Making Middle Schoolers Laugh
February 15, 2016 9:35 AM   Subscribe

Looking for resources of clever puns, one-liners and dad jokes that will make middle school students think and laugh.

I'm a middle school Language Arts teacher. Each day, I am trying to incorporate a clever pun or joke into my daily class intro. Since I'm telling these jokes in school, they obviously need to be clean and appropriate for 12 year olds - not too adult, not too kiddie.

Since I'm an English teacher, I like puns and other wordplay that will make them think for a second.

So far I've gotten good reactions from puns like:

Did you hear about the guy that ate a clock for lunch? It was very time consuming.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

Can you suggest books or websites that have good collections of jokes like these?
posted by gnutron to Education (20 answers total) 17 users marked this as a favorite
The title of this thread is looking for jokes for seven year olds, but based on your examples it sounds like many of them will work for you.
posted by okayokayigive at 10:07 AM on February 15, 2016

Best answer: Ahhh, one of my favorite jokes fits right into this category:

Did you hear about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac? He would like awake at night wondering if there was a dog.
posted by gin and biscuits at 10:08 AM on February 15, 2016 [5 favorites]

Best answer: Snail racing is very popular here in the north of England, there was a competitor at the races this weekend who had taken the shells off his snails, he thought it would make them go faster but it just made them more sluggish.

The Naked Jape by British comedian Jimmy Carr and Lucy Greeves is a very interesting read and includes 400 carefully selected jokes. They certainly aren't all suitable for 12 year olds in the classroom, but some are, and there's a chapter on children's humour.
posted by All other names were taken at 10:09 AM on February 15, 2016

What's so great about Switzerland?
Well, the flag is a big plus.

Tom Swifties are great for this.

"I think I'm a pretty attractive guy," Tom said magnetically.
"Oh no, I dropped the toothpaste!" said Tom, crestfallen.
"I didn't really care for that book," Tom said readily.
posted by phunniemee at 10:43 AM on February 15, 2016

Harry Hill has a book that used to amuse my daughter with jokes that might be similar to what you're looking for (maybe a bit young). Then we used to try to do our own versions, against the clock, and those were the ones that had us crying because they were so bad.
posted by colie at 11:27 AM on February 15, 2016

A grasshopper walks into a bar.
Bartender says, hey, we got a drink named after you.
Grasshopper says, really? You got a drink named Steve?
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:48 AM on February 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

Do you know why cannibals don't eat clowns?

They taste funny.
posted by littleflowers at 11:51 AM on February 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

How about palindromes?

Go hang a salami! I'm a lasagna hog!

posted by carterk at 12:04 PM on February 15, 2016

This may be just over the line for a teacher, but 12 year olds would definitely enjoy it.

Q: What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with a boob job?
A: One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean.
posted by cmoj at 12:21 PM on February 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

What's Brown and Sticky?

A Stick.
posted by mmmbacon at 12:51 PM on February 15, 2016 [3 favorites]

Best answer: 31-54 jokes in four minutes.
posted by INFJ at 12:52 PM on February 15, 2016

Here's my favorite:

Know what goes through a bug's mind before he hits the windshield? His butt.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 1:25 PM on February 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

How about the classic - Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana?
posted by Jacob G at 1:33 PM on February 15, 2016

What do you call a fish with two knees?
Two-knee fish.

posted by CincyBlues at 1:56 PM on February 15, 2016

Two traders were walking along one day talking about life. "I got a dog for my wife," said one. "Nice trade," said the other.
posted by AugustWest at 2:53 PM on February 15, 2016

What's the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu?

One requires tweetment, and the other requires oinkment.

Forget 12 year-olds, I'm following this thread with fervor.
posted by miss_kitty_fantastico at 2:58 PM on February 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

Q. Why are mountains so funny?
A. Because they are hill areas.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 4:33 PM on February 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

Well reddit has joke threads, such as this one.

Of course, you would definitely have to filter out anything unacceptable.

Here's one I found in the above thread (which doesn't sound too daring, to me at least):
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Becuase the "P" is silent.

posted by forthright at 7:24 PM on February 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

What do we want?
The sound of low flying aircraft!
When do we want it?
posted by fullerine at 11:14 PM on February 15, 2016 [5 favorites]

Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?

They each got 6 months.
posted by freezer cake at 2:19 PM on February 17, 2016 [1 favorite]

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