Snoring management.
February 10, 2016 6:14 PM Subscribe
How do you manage snoring with cohabitation in a small space?
I love being able to snuggle and sleep with my partner when I visit, but I snore like quarry saw, and we both have some sleeping difficulties with noise, but she's much more sensitive than me.
While we're both very pragmatic and we agree that separate actual sleeping quarters aren't dealbreakers at all but healthy, needed and/or luxurious, her current place is very small and I would like to try to find better solutions that allowed us to nap together more successfully.
I love being able to snuggle and sleep with my partner when I visit, but I snore like quarry saw, and we both have some sleeping difficulties with noise, but she's much more sensitive than me.
While we're both very pragmatic and we agree that separate actual sleeping quarters aren't dealbreakers at all but healthy, needed and/or luxurious, her current place is very small and I would like to try to find better solutions that allowed us to nap together more successfully.
Also white noise machine, earplugs...
posted by mskyle at 6:39 PM on February 10, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by mskyle at 6:39 PM on February 10, 2016 [2 favorites]
Agreed with the above - you fix the snoring. It's not necessarily a CPAP machine solution - my dad had 20 years of horrible snoring completely solved with a daily prescription nasal spray of some sort. Or it might even as simple as learning to sleep on your side instead of your back or something. But very loud snoring is not just something that should be happening - so regardless of the cohabitation issue, it's something you should fix.
posted by brainmouse at 6:42 PM on February 10, 2016
posted by brainmouse at 6:42 PM on February 10, 2016
If medical options don't work or will not be pursued for one reason or another, plain jane soft squish in the ear plugs work just fine for me. But when I'm the one snoring it exacerbates the sound, lol.
posted by tilde at 6:45 PM on February 10, 2016
posted by tilde at 6:45 PM on February 10, 2016
Nose strips, jus' sayin'
posted by Freedomboy at 6:46 PM on February 10, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Freedomboy at 6:46 PM on February 10, 2016 [2 favorites]
We semi-fixed it for ages with tons of white noise and fans and humidifiers... sort of.
Now I have an amazing prescription night guard that completely prevents me from snoring through the magic of plastic! I'm maybe going to live a natural lifespan! If my decades of snoring didn't lop a decade off the end of my life! :)
posted by RJ Reynolds at 7:15 PM on February 10, 2016
Now I have an amazing prescription night guard that completely prevents me from snoring through the magic of plastic! I'm maybe going to live a natural lifespan! If my decades of snoring didn't lop a decade off the end of my life! :)
posted by RJ Reynolds at 7:15 PM on February 10, 2016
Yes, BreatheRite strips!
posted by capricorn at 7:32 PM on February 10, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by capricorn at 7:32 PM on February 10, 2016 [2 favorites]
I tried the nose-strips and found them effective but extremely uncomfortable. I'm a hot-sleeper, and if I got sweaty at all I'd find them stuck in odd places around the bedroom in the morning.
You can re-learn sleep position same as you can work on and improve any general sleep habit. So I taught myself to sleep on my side, and that solved the snoring problem plus made spooning easier! Another side effect is that I stopped tossing and turning so much at night. Apparently I was bouncing myself off the bed and spinning in mid-air with limbs a-flailing and it was all quite violent and disruptive, but that stopped when I became more mindful about sleep position. None of that helped with the hot-sleeper issue though.
posted by carsonb at 7:51 PM on February 10, 2016
You can re-learn sleep position same as you can work on and improve any general sleep habit. So I taught myself to sleep on my side, and that solved the snoring problem plus made spooning easier! Another side effect is that I stopped tossing and turning so much at night. Apparently I was bouncing myself off the bed and spinning in mid-air with limbs a-flailing and it was all quite violent and disruptive, but that stopped when I became more mindful about sleep position. None of that helped with the hot-sleeper issue though.
posted by carsonb at 7:51 PM on February 10, 2016
Definitely talk to a sleep doctor and/or an ENT. Different snorers have different treatment needs. I personally am not a candidate for nose strips, but the CPAP is amazingly helpful. As are antihistamines - my breathing problems are made worse by allergies. We think the CPAP helps me in part because I'm breathing moist, warm, filtered air all night long; that's one reason we decided against the mouth guard.
Oh, also, buy your earplugs in boxes of 200 on Amazon. After getting smaller quantities so you know which size and style work for you, that is - I have to use ear lubricant (yes really) for the larger ones.
posted by SMPA at 7:52 PM on February 10, 2016
Oh, also, buy your earplugs in boxes of 200 on Amazon. After getting smaller quantities so you know which size and style work for you, that is - I have to use ear lubricant (yes really) for the larger ones.
posted by SMPA at 7:52 PM on February 10, 2016
Not to discourage you from seeing a sleep specialist but my girlfriend used to snore when we first moved in together and doesn't anymore - she sorta gave me carte blanch to gently nudge her when she was sleeping and over time she adjusted her sleep position to fix it.
So if you rule out sleep apnea or some deep seated underlying problem, it might be a simple fix with a bit of an adjustment period.
posted by dismas at 8:03 PM on February 10, 2016
So if you rule out sleep apnea or some deep seated underlying problem, it might be a simple fix with a bit of an adjustment period.
posted by dismas at 8:03 PM on February 10, 2016
I have no idea if this actually works, but this thing is a noise cancellation device for snorers.
posted by three_red_balloons at 8:24 PM on February 10, 2016
posted by three_red_balloons at 8:24 PM on February 10, 2016
Have you tried raising your head up on either pillows or a wedge? It makes a big difference for some kinds of snoring, especially snoring related to being congested. I don't know if it would help with chronic, non-cold-related snoring.
posted by insectosaurus at 9:20 PM on February 10, 2016
posted by insectosaurus at 9:20 PM on February 10, 2016
My husband's snoring is worse when he drinks alcohol in the evening. On gaming night (when he plays games and has a few beers with his buddies) he sleeps on the couch. We intentionally bought a comfy sleeping couch, so that it doesn't feel like he's been kicked out of bed.
posted by christa at 11:21 PM on February 10, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by christa at 11:21 PM on February 10, 2016 [1 favorite]
My husband snores very loudly. I wear earplugs shaped like these every single night, and I think there are other earplug shapes that are even better at blocking noise; for example, these look interesting. A few things that make the snoring worse are alcohol, weight gain, and sleeping on his back instead of his side.
When it's particularly bad, I just get up and go to the couch or guest bed (if there's one available). Laying there resenting him does me no good. He used to get upset or even angry if he woke up and found me gone, so we had to work through that. It's good that you already agree on the possibility of separate sleeping quarters; I'm still trying to convince my husband that it would work for us.
posted by neushoorn at 12:12 AM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]
When it's particularly bad, I just get up and go to the couch or guest bed (if there's one available). Laying there resenting him does me no good. He used to get upset or even angry if he woke up and found me gone, so we had to work through that. It's good that you already agree on the possibility of separate sleeping quarters; I'm still trying to convince my husband that it would work for us.
posted by neushoorn at 12:12 AM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]
My grandfather, father and I all snore like dull chainsaws. They both sleep in really nice recliners in their respective living rooms. I sleep with a tightly rolled towel or blanket tucked underneath my pillow to prop my head up. Other than that, I have found a lack of hydration plays a part in my snoring as well.
posted by shenkerism at 5:08 AM on February 11, 2016
posted by shenkerism at 5:08 AM on February 11, 2016
I am a snorer (sometimes). My girlfriend has all sorts of sleep issues. Put the two together and you've got a recipe for poor sleep for everyone!
The thing is, I'm not always a snorer.
I was diagnosed with sleep apnea about a decade ago, back when I was still married. I was sleeping like shit and my wife said I snored, so I went to a sleep lab. They gave me a C-PAP machine and that helped both of us get better sleep.
But the snoring didn't get fixed until I lost fifty pounds. After I lost the weight, the snoring went away. In fact, when I first started dating the woman I'm with now four years ago, I had no snoring at all. But I weighed 168, not 218. I was fit.
Over the past year, I've gained 20 pounds. I've also been drinking much more than in the past. On regular nights when I don't drink, I'm snoring again. Not awful, but enough to bug my girlfriend. "You never used to snore," she says. We both know it's from the weight gain. And on nights I drink? The snoring is out of control!
Solutions? Well, long-term the solution for me is to lose weight. Short-term it helps if I don't drink. We've also found that it helps if I prop myself up in bed so that I'm somewhere between lying on my back and sitting up. It's not comfortable (especially at first), but I get used to it. I use nasal strips, but they don't really do anything. Haven't tried a mouth guard.
Hope some of that helps...
posted by jdroth at 5:18 AM on February 11, 2016 [2 favorites]
The thing is, I'm not always a snorer.
I was diagnosed with sleep apnea about a decade ago, back when I was still married. I was sleeping like shit and my wife said I snored, so I went to a sleep lab. They gave me a C-PAP machine and that helped both of us get better sleep.
But the snoring didn't get fixed until I lost fifty pounds. After I lost the weight, the snoring went away. In fact, when I first started dating the woman I'm with now four years ago, I had no snoring at all. But I weighed 168, not 218. I was fit.
Over the past year, I've gained 20 pounds. I've also been drinking much more than in the past. On regular nights when I don't drink, I'm snoring again. Not awful, but enough to bug my girlfriend. "You never used to snore," she says. We both know it's from the weight gain. And on nights I drink? The snoring is out of control!
Solutions? Well, long-term the solution for me is to lose weight. Short-term it helps if I don't drink. We've also found that it helps if I prop myself up in bed so that I'm somewhere between lying on my back and sitting up. It's not comfortable (especially at first), but I get used to it. I use nasal strips, but they don't really do anything. Haven't tried a mouth guard.
Hope some of that helps...
posted by jdroth at 5:18 AM on February 11, 2016 [2 favorites]
I am a light sleeper and my husband snores (and his cat too, they snore together). I used to nudge him gently or say "turn over" and he would, without waking up (he is a heavy sleeper). Now, it's weird but after 8 years I have gotten used to it and it doesn't bother me anymore. I'd never have guessed I'd get used to it.
posted by meepmeow at 6:31 AM on February 11, 2016
posted by meepmeow at 6:31 AM on February 11, 2016
I've found that if the snoring is regular, I (the non-snorer) can breathe in time with the snoring and go back to sleep.
posted by mchorn at 7:53 AM on February 11, 2016
posted by mchorn at 7:53 AM on February 11, 2016
I like these earplugs. I find there is more noise reduction than the foam ones.
posted by elmay at 8:23 AM on February 11, 2016
posted by elmay at 8:23 AM on February 11, 2016
If the problem is falling asleep while the other person is snoring, I recommend Sleepphones
I can sleep through my partner snoring but lying there listening makes me ready to kill him.
Instead I listen to something and drift off. Sleepphones are brilliant.
posted by Heloise9 at 12:57 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]
I can sleep through my partner snoring but lying there listening makes me ready to kill him.
Instead I listen to something and drift off. Sleepphones are brilliant.
posted by Heloise9 at 12:57 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]
Hydration, dust-free room, weight loss, sobriety, check.
What fixed it for us is a mouth-guard. It repositions her lower jaw to a slight underbite and the snoring just doesn't happen. We started with a drugstore one but it was not very comfortable. The results were so spectacular though that we gladly put down a few hundred bucks to have a slimline one made at the dentists, it's our most valuable possession.
posted by Iteki at 10:00 PM on February 11, 2016
What fixed it for us is a mouth-guard. It repositions her lower jaw to a slight underbite and the snoring just doesn't happen. We started with a drugstore one but it was not very comfortable. The results were so spectacular though that we gladly put down a few hundred bucks to have a slimline one made at the dentists, it's our most valuable possession.
posted by Iteki at 10:00 PM on February 11, 2016
My husband's snoring is worse when he drinks alcohol in the evening.
I forgot to mention this in my original post because, yea, sleep specialist... But i have this issue too.
The solution is drinking a TON of water before i get in bed, or at least as much as i can. And, more importantly, keeping a big water bottle right next to my bed/pillow so if i wake up even a little bit i can chug a bunch of water.
Now i basically only snore if my water bottle rolls under the bed, or i was otherwise exceptionally dehydrated.
If you rule out sleep apnea or they say it's super mild, water water water.
posted by emptythought at 1:23 PM on February 12, 2016
I forgot to mention this in my original post because, yea, sleep specialist... But i have this issue too.
The solution is drinking a TON of water before i get in bed, or at least as much as i can. And, more importantly, keeping a big water bottle right next to my bed/pillow so if i wake up even a little bit i can chug a bunch of water.
Now i basically only snore if my water bottle rolls under the bed, or i was otherwise exceptionally dehydrated.
If you rule out sleep apnea or they say it's super mild, water water water.
posted by emptythought at 1:23 PM on February 12, 2016
Response by poster: Many thanks to everyone. It might take me a while to dole out any best answers because I don't really know enough about this.
Yep, I've needed to see a sleep specialist for years. I know I've had really bad apnea, and recently it has been abated by my working nomadic lifestyle and primarily using a hammock as my bed. (Factually. It's inclined as suggested by many snorers and I stopped snoring nearly as much because I've asked people who have shared my camp. Best bed I've ever had, really.)
But there are a lot of on-point and practicable things in this thread I can try.
posted by loquacious at 7:19 PM on February 13, 2016
Yep, I've needed to see a sleep specialist for years. I know I've had really bad apnea, and recently it has been abated by my working nomadic lifestyle and primarily using a hammock as my bed. (Factually. It's inclined as suggested by many snorers and I stopped snoring nearly as much because I've asked people who have shared my camp. Best bed I've ever had, really.)
But there are a lot of on-point and practicable things in this thread I can try.
posted by loquacious at 7:19 PM on February 13, 2016
I am the partner loquacious is referring to in this post (hi!), so I thought I'd comment about what we've already tried to deal with the snoring problem, and ask a couple of questions.
It will be some time before he is able to see a sleep specialist, and we've got another visit planned for early March, so we'll need to work something out soon, as I am very sensitive to noise, and am barely functional when I lose sleep.
My place is a 550-square-foot studio apartment with an open floor plan that makes it extremely difficult to shut out noise. Last time he visited me, I lost a full night's sleep due to his snoring even while wearing these earplugs (and, later on, these), which was very hard on me. The next night, he tried nasal strips, and they didn't work at all. So we came up with a temporary fix: we took turns dragging a futon cushion into the walk-in closet and sleeping on it while the other slept in the king-size bed. Not a good solution, but it was better than sleepless nights, at least.
If we had a bedroom with a door to close, we'd just solve this problem by sleeping separately. But that isn't going to be an option for the foreseeable future, as I won't be moving anytime soon, and we both love my place. In fact, we're talking about him moving in with me eventually, so we'll need to figure out a solution for the long term.
Regarding the comments about alcohol and proper hydration: he didn't drink alcohol at all during the visit, and he drank quite a bit of water, so I suspect those factors aren't relevant in this case. Having him switch positions didn't help either. He snores in every sleep position we've tried.
Dust-free room: I'm a professional house cleaner and I'm also allergic to house dust, so my place is about as free of dust as it can possibly be.
The SleepPhones look intriguing, though I wonder how comfortable they are for a full night. Plus, I toss and turn a lot, so I don't think the corded version would work for me - I'd have to spring for the wireless Bluetooth version, which is more expensive. Anyone else want to weigh in about whether they think this would be worth the investment?
And if I don't go that route, I suppose I'm going to have to try industrial-strength earplugs of the sort that are worn on construction sites or something.
Other suggestions are welcome! I'm open to all kinds of creative ideas that might work for our situation.
posted by velvet winter at 1:00 PM on February 23, 2016
It will be some time before he is able to see a sleep specialist, and we've got another visit planned for early March, so we'll need to work something out soon, as I am very sensitive to noise, and am barely functional when I lose sleep.
My place is a 550-square-foot studio apartment with an open floor plan that makes it extremely difficult to shut out noise. Last time he visited me, I lost a full night's sleep due to his snoring even while wearing these earplugs (and, later on, these), which was very hard on me. The next night, he tried nasal strips, and they didn't work at all. So we came up with a temporary fix: we took turns dragging a futon cushion into the walk-in closet and sleeping on it while the other slept in the king-size bed. Not a good solution, but it was better than sleepless nights, at least.
If we had a bedroom with a door to close, we'd just solve this problem by sleeping separately. But that isn't going to be an option for the foreseeable future, as I won't be moving anytime soon, and we both love my place. In fact, we're talking about him moving in with me eventually, so we'll need to figure out a solution for the long term.
Regarding the comments about alcohol and proper hydration: he didn't drink alcohol at all during the visit, and he drank quite a bit of water, so I suspect those factors aren't relevant in this case. Having him switch positions didn't help either. He snores in every sleep position we've tried.
Dust-free room: I'm a professional house cleaner and I'm also allergic to house dust, so my place is about as free of dust as it can possibly be.
The SleepPhones look intriguing, though I wonder how comfortable they are for a full night. Plus, I toss and turn a lot, so I don't think the corded version would work for me - I'd have to spring for the wireless Bluetooth version, which is more expensive. Anyone else want to weigh in about whether they think this would be worth the investment?
And if I don't go that route, I suppose I'm going to have to try industrial-strength earplugs of the sort that are worn on construction sites or something.
Other suggestions are welcome! I'm open to all kinds of creative ideas that might work for our situation.
posted by velvet winter at 1:00 PM on February 23, 2016
Mouthguard. Mouthguardmouthguardmouthguard. Mouthguard.
posted by Iteki at 1:19 PM on February 23, 2016
posted by Iteki at 1:19 PM on February 23, 2016
Follow-up after our week-long March visit: we ended up resorting to the one-of-us-sleeps-in-the-walk-in-closet method again. Every night. It's the only thing that has worked to allow me to sleep.
We visited several different local stores in search of an over-the-counter mouth guard for him to try, but we were unable to find one, as none of the stores carried them. I suppose we'll have to order one through Amazon or something, as we can't afford to drop several hundred bucks to get a customized one made for him.
If that doesn't bear fruit, I guess it will continue to be the "closet method" for us, at least for the foreseeable future. Not good, but at least it's better than dealing with the aftereffects of lost sleep.
I got an audio recording of his snoring, so that may be useful whenever he has a chance to see a sleep specialist.
posted by velvet winter at 3:01 PM on March 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
We visited several different local stores in search of an over-the-counter mouth guard for him to try, but we were unable to find one, as none of the stores carried them. I suppose we'll have to order one through Amazon or something, as we can't afford to drop several hundred bucks to get a customized one made for him.
If that doesn't bear fruit, I guess it will continue to be the "closet method" for us, at least for the foreseeable future. Not good, but at least it's better than dealing with the aftereffects of lost sleep.
I got an audio recording of his snoring, so that may be useful whenever he has a chance to see a sleep specialist.
posted by velvet winter at 3:01 PM on March 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
And yea, honestly, see a sleep specialist. I have yet to meet a single person that regrets it and i've heard so many life changing stories of "holy shit i have SO much energy and i feel so much more clear headed/smart now!"
posted by emptythought at 6:17 PM on February 10, 2016 [12 favorites]