ISO confident, easygoing male role models
January 27, 2016 6:28 AM   Subscribe

Looking for some examples of male role models who are confident but not arrogant. Basically "good guys" who are secure in their masculinity. I prefer people who are still alive, around 30-60 years old, and well-known (e.g. no scientists that no one outside of their field has heard of). They can be fictional as long as they're in movies or TV, not books. Chris Pratt comes to mind - not particularly suave exactly, but he comes off as very secure and genuine.
posted by desjardins to Grab Bag (79 answers total) 24 users marked this as a favorite
 
Response by poster: Not interested in superheros either, looking for "real" men, even if fictional.
posted by desjardins at 6:30 AM on January 27, 2016


Oscar Isaac? He comes off in interviews as thoughtful, secure, and fair-minded.
posted by showbiz_liz at 6:35 AM on January 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


Also Mads Mikkelsen, for similar reasons. There's a recent interview going around where the interviewer was trying to bait him into saying who the perfect woman was, while he good-naturedly refused to say anyone but his wife; when they insisted, he said, 'my daughter, then!'
posted by showbiz_liz at 6:39 AM on January 27, 2016 [6 favorites]


Hugh Jackman has a pretty solid reputation and seems warm and down to earth in interviews.
posted by mochapickle at 6:42 AM on January 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


Justin Timberlake, George Clooney, Barack Obama
posted by ReluctantViking at 6:43 AM on January 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


Response by poster: Oh - the male equivalent of Gillian Anderson is exactly what I'm looking for. Call me, Gillian.
posted by desjardins at 6:48 AM on January 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


Eric Taylor from Friday Night Lights. Good husband and father, takes seriously the mentoring aspect of his job as a high school football coach.
posted by something something at 6:49 AM on January 27, 2016 [7 favorites]


Joseph Gordon Levitt. Patrick Stewart. (Dare I say it?) Mark Zuckerberg.
posted by scantee at 6:49 AM on January 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


I've heard nothing but good things about Tim Gunn.
posted by rtha at 6:49 AM on January 27, 2016 [8 favorites]


My bf reports that all his guy friends regard Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as a positive role model in a sort of "Beyonce for men" way. Whether this works for you or not, it gives me the giggles.
posted by sunset in snow country at 6:52 AM on January 27, 2016 [21 favorites]


Personally, I say Jim from The Office.
posted by sunset in snow country at 6:53 AM on January 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


I don't know too much about Dave Grohl as a person, but he always comes across as a genuine nice, fun guy. I mean, he's a fucking ROCK STAR, and he does indeed love to ROCK OUT, but he never really acts like a rock star. He smiles, he's friendly, and he really seems to love what he does and not take it for granted. Watch the HBO show Sonic Highway. He's like a kid who is totally psyched to be where he is in life and he's going to squeeze every last bit out of it while it lasts.

I wish there were more rock stars like him.
posted by bondcliff at 6:53 AM on January 27, 2016 [14 favorites]


Steve Carell in real life (not the characters he plays!)
posted by thetortoise at 6:57 AM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


even if you don't know The Rock in real life, Scenes from my Imaginary Friendship with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is a sweet and lovely thing. Also I totally have a guy-crush on him after watching him on Celebrity Lip Sync Battle.
posted by bl1nk at 6:58 AM on January 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


Maybe Terry Crews? I guess we should take any celebrity's public face with a grain of salt but his memoir is a reflection on learning how problematic some of the "alpha male" behaviors he has were, and how he has tried to move past that. Kinda "don't be a dick 101" stuff at times but on the other hand he came from some pretty adverse circumstances and had to learn as he went along.
posted by Wretch729 at 7:00 AM on January 27, 2016 [22 favorites]


Chewbacca?
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:03 AM on January 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


Mark Ruffalo
posted by blackjack514 at 7:03 AM on January 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


Cory goddamn Booker.
posted by ftm at 7:06 AM on January 27, 2016 [11 favorites]


Channing Tatum has a great sense of humor and seems to be perfectly comfortable in his own skin. His Instagram account is full of sappy and romantic dedications to his wife, which is something you don't often see from manly dudebros.
posted by Rock Steady at 7:07 AM on January 27, 2016 [6 favorites]


Stephen Amell.
posted by Roger Pittman at 7:08 AM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


For your consideration:
Stephen Colbert
Terry Crews
Nick Offerman
posted by Poppa Bear at 7:10 AM on January 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


Marcus Lemonis. If you can, watch the episode of The Profit from last night. It was very entertaining.
posted by Ostara at 7:11 AM on January 27, 2016


Matt McGorry!
posted by juniperesque at 7:22 AM on January 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


Oh man, Nick Offerman. I completely recommend his WTF interview with Marc Maron if you want to hear how he sees life and how to live it.
posted by Mchelly at 7:23 AM on January 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


President Obama.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 7:24 AM on January 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


Tom Hanks, Matt Damon
posted by Beti at 7:25 AM on January 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


Tom Scharpling.
posted by johngoren at 7:27 AM on January 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


David Tennant seems like genuinely the nicest, most stand-up guy. Married, three kids, adores them all, generally regarded by all as generous, kind, down-to-earth, funny, and very secure in himself and his goals. I have a massive crush on him.
posted by soren_lorensen at 7:31 AM on January 27, 2016 [5 favorites]


Thinking about I Love You, Man: both Paul Rudd and Jason Segel. I like how Jason Segel was part of an unashamedly affectionate yet silly couple on HIMYM, and wasn't afraid to look dopey in films like Forgetting Sarah Marshall, going full frontal in a funny yet vulnerable way. (The guy was a musician who wrote songs for Muppets, and who played second fiddle to a strong woman.)

Paul Rudd takes roles that seem like they address actual aspects of growing older and being part of a family, even if HE never seems to grow older.

Nick Offerman is an interesting example, because he seems to come off as quite traditional. But he isn't shy about supporting and being excited about the work of strong women.

(I don't like how my examples all seem to be defined by these men's relationship to women, but I feel like they work anyway.)
posted by St. Hubbins at 7:32 AM on January 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


A TV example: Lou Solverson from Fargo (his daughter, Molly, is also an excellent role model, which shows he was a pretty good dad).
posted by smcg at 7:34 AM on January 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


This may sound goofy, but Greg Universe from
Steven Universe. I've rarely seen loving father-son relationship like his and Steven's in any kind of media before, especially not in shows ostensibly aimed at kids.
posted by ActionPopulated at 7:35 AM on January 27, 2016 [7 favorites]


Daniel Radcliffe, Jon Stewart, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Barak Obama and while it kills me to say it, Wil Smith.
posted by DarlingBri at 7:41 AM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


Hell yes Terry Crews! And the Rock for sure.
posted by poffin boffin at 7:42 AM on January 27, 2016


Keanu Reeves. He has a reputation for being a really nice guy. (Also just google "Keanu Reeves nice")
posted by foxjacket at 7:43 AM on January 27, 2016 [6 favorites]


Tom Scharpling.

Seconded. And also, for what it's worth, his comedy partner/Superchunk drummer Jon Wurster. Both are just the nicest, most down-to-earth, confident dudes you could ever meet.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 7:44 AM on January 27, 2016


Don Graham, although he's a bit older than you're looking for.
posted by jgirl at 7:46 AM on January 27, 2016


Furious Styles from Boyz n The Hood.
posted by Tanizaki at 7:50 AM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


Jon Hamm, Ryan Gosling, Samuel L. Jackson IRL, Robert Downey, Jr. Plus everyone mentioned above.
posted by Room 641-A at 7:53 AM on January 27, 2016


I forgot to mention Ted Danson, and after going back and forth I'm going to add Johnny Depp to the list.
posted by Room 641-A at 8:01 AM on January 27, 2016


I strongly recommend Nick Offerman's specials (American Ham is on Netflix right now), for anyone who may mistake him for Ron Swanson. He's also done two separate hours on the Nerdist podcast that are excellent listening.

Tom Hanks may be over your age range, but he certainly spent 30 years in it, and fascinates me in his way of being - by all reliable reports - exceptionally nice and also entirely comfortable with leadership and saying no when it needs to be said.

Bryan Cranston is incredibly interesting and down-to-earth. He did the podcast rounds about the time Breaking Bad ended.

(I think Offerman and Cranston are both especially interesting because they were broke and struggling well into actual adulthood.)

On the younger end of your scale, Aziz Ansari. He doesn't give off the chill vibe of the old white dudes above, he's intensely focused, but he's kind.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:02 AM on January 27, 2016 [6 favorites]


Michel Roux Jr (Wikipedia IMDB)

The man is just...I dont know, theres something magical about him. He's done many TV shows in the UK where he takes on a mentoring role and he is just delightful with people. Always calm, always supportive, always meticulously groomed.

Bonus charming Brit: David Beckham. Every time I see him on TV I wonder when hes going to get a Knighthood, it'll probably happen as soon as he nears 50.
posted by Ness at 8:07 AM on January 27, 2016


Justin Trudeau
Neil DeGrasse Tyson

(side note: I find it interesting how many of the responses here to a question about "role models" are actors)
posted by mkultra at 8:25 AM on January 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


(side note: I find it interesting how many of the responses here to a question about "role models" are actors)

When one of the main criteria is "well-known," that is bound to skew the results.

additional suggestion--Steve Albini
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 8:41 AM on January 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


Vin Diesel! He's a beast, but sincere and secure enough to proclaim his love publicly for Dungeons & Dragons. I adore him.
posted by lieber hair at 8:48 AM on January 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


Neil Patrick Harris
posted by nakedmolerats at 8:49 AM on January 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


Vince Gilligan always comes across as such a mensch in every interview I've seen or heard him in - confident, yes, but also genuine, humble and down to earth, and so quick to recognize the contributions of his collaborators to his own incredible success with Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul.
posted by usonian at 9:05 AM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


Matt Damon's character in The Martian -- science genius and good-humored.
posted by xo at 9:13 AM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


Anyone doubting The Rock's or Justin Timberlake's qualification for this list should contemplate their performances in Southland Tales, and all that this implies.
posted by tempythethird at 9:18 AM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


James McAvoy. Here's a compilation of him talking about his wife. I particularly like how he makes Ryan Seacrest look like an utter fool at the 2:50 mark.
posted by weeyin at 9:44 AM on January 27, 2016


Rich Sommer - unlike the weaselly Harry Crane, he seems like a stand-up guy.

Adam Scott.

Is William H Macy too old now? I want him and Felicity Huffmann to adopt me.
posted by mippy at 9:46 AM on January 27, 2016


My personal and recent favorite in this space is Paul F. Tompkins.
posted by boo_radley at 9:49 AM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


Dan Conner from Roseanne.
posted by misseva at 10:18 AM on January 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


definitely agree with the Mark Ruffalo and the Rock suggestions, also adding Jeff Goldblum and Vin Diesel!
posted by burgerrr at 10:20 AM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


Ta-Nehisi Coates.
posted by miles per flower at 10:30 AM on January 27, 2016 [5 favorites]


I was almost 100% sure no one else would suggest Steve Albini; nice to be surprised.
posted by jamjam at 10:53 AM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


Matt McGorry
Ta-Nehisi Coates
Deray McKesson
Cornel West
Barack Obama
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Bill Nye
Kumail Nanjiani
posted by melissasaurus at 10:55 AM on January 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


Chris and Holling on Northern Exposure!
posted by jrobin276 at 11:18 AM on January 27, 2016


Neil DeGrasse Tyson
posted by Julnyes at 11:21 AM on January 27, 2016


Lin-Manuel Miranda.
posted by Lexica at 11:46 AM on January 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


John Oliver, Nathan Fillion, Chris Rock, Colin Firth, Joe Biden, Kareem-Abdul Jabbar.
posted by triggerfinger at 11:51 AM on January 27, 2016


I kind of love Channing Tatum. He might come off as a dude bro but he really seems like good people. If you want to see what I mean, check out this GQ profile or his Reddit AMA.

Also, what about Atul Gawande? He's not exactly obscure but he's super smart and has found success in a few different fields.
posted by kat518 at 12:21 PM on January 27, 2016


I know not everyone feels this way but, for me, Henry Rollins matches that description perfectly.

YMMV...
posted by humboldt32 at 12:31 PM on January 27, 2016 [5 favorites]


(Avoid WWE The Rock, stick to Hollywood The Rock/RL Dwayne Johnson. Because hoo boy, WWE The Rock is terrible w/r/t women and masculinity and basically everything.)
posted by misskaz at 1:00 PM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


How about local boy Aaron Rogers?
posted by AugustWest at 1:12 PM on January 27, 2016


Michio Kaku
posted by a humble nudibranch at 2:00 PM on January 27, 2016


Although I'm not a huge fan of his work, I hear nothing but good things about Keanu Reeves as a person.
posted by ananci at 2:43 PM on January 27, 2016


Rembert Brown
posted by ellieBOA at 2:46 PM on January 27, 2016


Wayne Brady, Al Franken
posted by Room 641-A at 4:03 PM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


Jon Stewart, Michael J Fox, MacGyver, and surprisingly, Andrew Zimmern (I follow him on Facebook and he's self confident, but also thoughtful and sweet. He mostly posts recipes, of course, but sometimes he talks about causes he believes in, and he's not afraid to take an unpopular stand if he believes it's right.)
posted by MexicanYenta at 4:54 PM on January 27, 2016


Ewan McGregor! If you watch his documentaries Long Way Round and Long Way Down, you'll see he's super friendly and personable, all the while motorcycling across the world with his pal Charlie. His interviews on late night are also very delightful and laid back.
posted by thebots at 5:04 PM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


Keith Mars - Veronica Mars's dad - played by Enrico Colantoni. Hands-down one of the best portrayals of single fatherhood I've seen on TV. He respects Veronica to make her own choices and clearly loves her to pieces but gets appropriately angry with her on occasion and isn't afraid to show his feelings - positive or negative.
posted by meggan at 6:29 PM on January 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


Conan O' Brien. Though he's a pretty high strung guy in real life, it seems.

Joe Manganiello. Basically any guy that is openly sweet and adoring of his wife/partner.
posted by discopolo at 6:45 PM on January 27, 2016


Oh, Joel McHale, also. And absolutely Barack Obama!
posted by discopolo at 6:48 PM on January 27, 2016


Oh, and LeBron James. He does yoga and went to see Maleficient by himself. Steph Curry, I think. Brad Pitt. George Clooney.

Ed Helms, I think. Ken Jeong, from my impression of him doing interviews.

Andy Samberg and Seth Meyers.
posted by discopolo at 6:55 PM on January 27, 2016


(Wow, so I got super into this question and made this huge list and then I got thinky about why and boy I realized some things. wowee)


Liam Neeson
Chris Hemsworth
Max Greenfield
Luke Wilson
Ty Burrell
Dave Franco (not James though, definitely not James)
Daniel Radcliffe
Mark-Paul Gosselaar (but not Mario Lopez, who tries to fake it but tries too hard)
Robert Pattinson
Will Smith (though Will seems a little tightly wound on all the talk shows I've seen him on)
Liam Hemsworth (how could I forget there are 2 awesome Hemsworth men)
Dave Franco (but definitely not his older bro, James, never James)
Ice Cube (judging from interviews I've seen him do, though they're usually w/Kevin Hart, who seems really insecure, Cube is always chill)
David Beckham
Drake ?
Breckin Meyer
Hugh Jackman ( as mentioned above, but just have to agree!!of course!!)
Matthew McConaughey
James Van Der Beek (he played himself on "The Bitch in Apt 23" which has been available on Netflix and was a wonderful sitcom starring Krysten Ritter and he's just hilarious in a very natural way but he's also super laid back seeming in an equally natural way)


I'm also going to say Jason Alexander ( George from Seinfeld). I have the set with the interviews and the rest of the cast seemed really awkward and I'll at ease when doing the interviews and discussing various episodes, and Alexander seemed to be the only one who was comfortable and content and relaxed in his own skin in front of the camera. Everybody else seemed so on their own heads and almost defensive.)

Larry David (secure in his own Larry-ness, to be more exact)

And, you know, I'd like to say Regis Philbin. His final interview with Letterman some years back showed this specific quality in him as just a very lovely man comfortable in his own skin and confident being himself with others.

Scott Speedman's portrayal of Ben on "Felicity."

Jason Street from Friday Night Lights (seconding Coach Eric Taylor). Actually I'll add Landry and Tim Riggins to the fictional character roster.

I nth both real life Chris Pratt and also fictional Andy, and I'm adding Jerry/Gary/Larry Gergich (who was the butt of his colleagues' jokes but was clearly comfortable being himself and being a dad and family man and govt employee and in who he was no matter how hurtful everyone else was being.)

maybe no one else watched this show, but I think Raja on "Aliens in America" fits the bill---15 yr old Raja was secure in his moral code and subsequently secure in his sense of his own masculinity and sense of self, and he never wavered under the pressure of being mocked, ridiculed and harassed despite being harassed for being a Pakistani/Muslim exchange student in Medora, WI.

Finally, the character of Burt Chance on "Raising Hope." I like to believe that actor Garrett Dillahunt is really a lot like Burt.
posted by discopolo at 11:15 PM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


Football people are apparently all over Peyton Manning as a role model.
posted by clawsoon at 8:17 AM on January 28, 2016


I'd offer up John Roderick. Perhaps not overly well-known, but on his way, he's featured on two podcasts currently wherein he speaks his mind, talks about his life, and generally proves to be a vulnerable, caring, open - and confident - human being.
posted by SafetyPirate at 9:47 AM on January 28, 2016


Tim Robbins
posted by Room 641-A at 11:42 AM on January 28, 2016


Kenzaburō Ōe is a possibility. He's older than your desired range, but still alive, and also a fictional character, in a sense, because his writing is largely autobiographical. I must admit that I am still reading my first book of his, but I'm incredibly impressed. He's a relaxed, urbane, witty Nobel Prize winner who's taking a real stand against right wing extremism, has helped raise a child born with brain damage in a very positive way, and appears to have a (afaict, taking into account age and culture) strong, respectful relationship with his wife (now).

If you're curious about him, I'd suggest reading one of his books - I suspect A Personal Matter would be good (I am reading The Changeling, which is a later work - I was put off APM by the subject matter, but now plan to go back and read it, too).
posted by andrewcooke at 2:49 PM on February 1, 2016


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