How is a 30 year old woman supposed to dress?

November 15, 2015 10:43 AM

I'm turning 30 soon. I don't want to look ridiculous, but I don't want to give up my bright colors and girly style either. Help!

I'm into vintage-style stuff like floral prints, 50's dresses, full skirts, (non-giant) ruffles, and other femmey details. I like Betsey Johnson's old dresses if that gives you an idea. I try to wear things that "feel" like me if that makes any sense. When things don't seem right anymore I stop wearing them. But I've always identified strongly with my style and hate the idea that I might have to modify it past recognition someday.

Could you guys give me some tips about what I probably look a bit silly in at my age?

posted by tuberose to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (30 answers total)

You're gonna look silly wearing something that isn't you and makes you uncomfortable. You're gonna look silly trying to be someone you're not. If you love your style and you're managing to get through life without your wardrobe actually causing problems (i.e. getting complaints at work, etc) why try to edit yourself down?

I'm turning 30 in 3 weeks and people will have to pry my peacock leggings away from my cold dead hands.
posted by phunniemee at 10:55 AM on November 15, 2015 [23 favorites]

I'm 35, and I wear bright colors all the time. Wear what makes you feel awesome.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 10:56 AM on November 15, 2015 [7 favorites]

I'm 29 and I basically dress like cheap Zooey Deschanel. No one's complained. You're fine :)
posted by goodbyewaffles at 10:59 AM on November 15, 2015 [2 favorites]

When I think someone looks dressed inappropriately for their age it's almost always because their clothes don't fit. Wear the right size and you'll be just fine.
posted by sockermom at 11:00 AM on November 15, 2015 [24 favorites]

Also, just: the stuff that tends to look silly on women our age is the hyper-trendy Topshop crap, or like, club wear. Classic patterns and silhouettes are gonna be fine.
posted by goodbyewaffles at 11:00 AM on November 15, 2015 [5 favorites]

Another vote for wear what you like!

Although if you are looking for a girly, vintage, sophisticated look, check out everything Amy Adams wears in Leap Year: In most of the movie she's got a pencil skirt, a floral blouse, a bright melon-pink cardigan, and peep-toe shoes with an ankle strap. Her other outfit is a pale blue wide-neck blouse and dark denim & a completely sweet buff-colored trench coat.
posted by mochapickle at 11:01 AM on November 15, 2015 [3 favorites]

However she wants.

Seriously, though, I know lots of women in their 30s and 40s who dress like that and look fabulous.
posted by bibliotropic at 11:02 AM on November 15, 2015 [7 favorites]

Keep on wearing what you like, prints, full skirts and ruffles and all: it doesn't make you look silly, it makes you look fabulous. (I'm almost exactly twice your age, and you'll never get me to stop wearing bright colors --- I prefer solids, but if you prefer florals? You go, girl!)

There is absolutely no reason that turning 30 means you're required to change what you wear.
posted by easily confused at 11:02 AM on November 15, 2015 [11 favorites]

I came to say exactly what sockermom said. Just make sure your clothes fit (and aren't pilling, holey, or stained).
posted by Enchanting Grasshopper at 11:13 AM on November 15, 2015 [1 favorite]

Ditto everyone else! I turned 30 this year but still wear stuff I wore 7 or 8 years ago - the only reason my style has changed at all was when I chopped all my hair off and felt like I wanted to look more androgynous - nothing do with my age at all.
posted by theseldomseenkid at 11:16 AM on November 15, 2015

A good friend of mine (who died this year way, way too young) dressed the way you describe well into her late 50's - as far as I can tell, her tricks were to a) include true vintage pieces whenever she could, for a little extra sophistication, b) avoid cheap costume jewelry (costume was fine, but anything that looked clearly plastic was out) and throwaway shoes, and c) don't give a damn what strangers thought about her choices.

I'm 46 and still wear a few things I bought back in high school. You know what looks good on you and who you are. Stay fabulous.
posted by Mchelly at 11:30 AM on November 15, 2015 [4 favorites]

Wear what you want. The only thing more time- than age-related I think might be relevant is maybe the particular spin on how vintage stuff is worn within a given fashion moment (because I think that does change, a bit, over time), but that will happen naturally because you love this style, & the shops & blogs and everything will be presenting those little shifts to you so you'll be absorbing them anyway, consciously or not, because you're interested.

(E.g for me, I'm not as fashion-oriented at the moment, but up until fairly recently I'd be like "I love this [pattern/colour/detail/shape], this [pattern/colour/detail/shape] is the best" and all of a sudden it would reach saturation within its world, and I'd all of a sudden be sick of that pattern/colour/detail/shape, and notice that another thing is around [in maybe just a few places] and decide that new little tweak is better. I've checked out of it [on a temporary basis, I hope], but you're paying attention, so it will just happen.)
posted by cotton dress sock at 11:31 AM on November 15, 2015

(like I think there was a certain way of doing 50s vintage in the 90s, that i think is a little different than the way it's done now - e.g. the 50s hair styles that were highlighted might be slightly different, or maybe e.g. leopard print coats were favoured over something else today - doing vintage 50s in a 90s way today might look a bit dated, if that makes sense. But because you're interacting with how this is evolving, you will just move along with it.)
posted by cotton dress sock at 11:48 AM on November 15, 2015 [1 favorite]

Eh, there's a 60+ year old here who dresses exactly like that, and no one thinks it looks age inappropriate. The big thing will just be watching your makeup as your complexion and skin tone changes--make sure you're not getting cakey around the eyes and mouth as your skin gets a bit drier and thinner, and your colors (makeup, hair) aren't getting too "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane" as your skin color may fade a bit.
posted by blue suede stockings at 11:57 AM on November 15, 2015 [1 favorite]

My style has only gotten brighter, bolder and more colorful since I turned 30.

Agree with blue suede stockings: hair and makeup styling is way more important as you age -- but at 30, you really don't need to worry so much about that yet.
posted by darkchocolatepyramid at 12:04 PM on November 15, 2015 [1 favorite]

I asked a similar question back when I was on the other side of thirty. My personal style was different, but the answers might help you.

Now that I'm in my mid-thirties, I have two bits of advice to add: first, thirty is still pretty young. It feels a lot older than twenty-four, but you're not going to look silly in "young" clothes.

Second: if you have a well-developed sense of style - i.e. you know what colors and styles work for you, how to create outfits that look coherent, and how to incorporate whimsical pieces without looking costumey - and you have a good idea of how your own style intersects with current trends, dress codes, etc., then it's going to be easier for you than you think. You already have a sense of what looks good on you and what feels a little over the top or not quite right. And you probably haven't followed the exact same style rules for the last ten years, right? Your style has evolved and adapted over time and will continue to do so.

Oh, I should also mention that thirty was about the age I started noticing that macro-trends (like pants rises and pointy vs. rounded toes on shoes) had cycled back around to where they were when I was younger, and it felt a lot easier to opt out once I noticed that. I think it's really common to realize in your early thirties that you aren't really "supposed" to wear anything, and doing it "right" often looks as silly as doing it wrong, and none of it matters so you might as well have fun.

There's no set of rules about what to wear at what age, which is a little frustrating but mostly freeing. There's just your personal style and the ever-changing tides of fashion, and as you get older you get better at navigating them.
posted by Metroid Baby at 12:07 PM on November 15, 2015 [7 favorites]

I'm 43 and I get the most compliments when I dress in the kicky, bright-colored clothing that I've always loved. My only changes have been hair color (blonde washes me out now so I go golden brown) and makeup.
posted by kimberussell at 12:13 PM on November 15, 2015

Check out Advanced Style for proof that amazing bright colors aren't just for the young.

Somewhere around here there's a great thread about designers that feature bright happy colors. I especially like Tracey Reese myself for bright but sophisticated patterns.
posted by veery at 12:16 PM on November 15, 2015 [2 favorites]

I'm 32 and I love bright patterned tights and leggings and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. Another vote for sticking with what you feel is your style!
posted by augustimagination at 12:18 PM on November 15, 2015

I'm 33 and I wear bright colors every day, all year. I even wear obviously plastic jewelry, so I guess none of this advice is universal. I get compliments on my clothes literally every single time I leave the house, so I don't think you have anything to worry about. If you wanna check out my Instagram to see what a fat 33-year-old wears, the link is in my profile!

So to answer your questions:

A 30-year-old wears whatever the hell she wants, because she's an adult and earned it.

The only thing I think you'd look silly in is like, a furry costume or anything similarly inappropriate for a regular office. And if you have a non-office job then it SUPER doesn't matter! Part of getting older is that you stop giving a shit about what other people think about you, generally because people aren't thinking about you nearly as much as you think they are!

Happy birthday, and welcome to your 30s. I dig 'em!
posted by masquesoporfavor at 12:35 PM on November 15, 2015 [4 favorites]

I don't know about what you, specifically, would look silly in, but I'll tell you what I, specifically, feel silly in: stuffy button-down cardigans and sweaters, cuffed sleeves that aren't rolled up, pants that don't fit, lapels of any size. Basically anything that doesn't fit who I am.

If what I'm wearing doesn't let me (who I love) shine through, fuck it. Life's too short.

My current style setting: black/white base with a striking contrast of color, industrial runway mixed with Neuromancer, geometric angles and skintight laser printed leggings and shit-kicking boots. I feel most days like I walked right out of a manga and it feels amazing.

I'm 10 months away from 30 and plan to come in screaming hot on that new shit, ain't no one gonna call me silly.

Echoing above: we earned the right to dress however we feel best suits us. Your 30s (and beyond) is 100% about rocking the shit out of your cultivated personal style.
posted by Snacks at 12:57 PM on November 15, 2015 [5 favorites]

I don't think there's any sort of "oh you're X age you can't wear that anymore!" I'm 25 but you bet your sweet ass I'll be wearing skull shirts one day and a frilly dress the next in 5 years. I think just general appropriateness and fit is really all that matters. Not too short, too snug, too loose, fits any sort of work guidelines, etc. I especially don't think 30 somehow means anything in terms of clothing or style.

Wear whatever the hell you want and rock it.
posted by Crystalinne at 2:06 PM on November 15, 2015 [1 favorite]

goodbyewaffles has it - no bar star clothes and you'll be fine.

I would just add if you like the 50s bold print looks make sure you've got the makeup to match. As long as the look is complete and consistent then you are fine.

When you say "look ridiculous," I ask "to whom?" Work? On the street? Fwiw I have a friend who is in her late 30s and dresses as you describe, with bold makeup and multicolour hair - and she has a regular office job and a couple of kids. What people will really judge you on is your character, so if you hold yourself as competent, self-possessed, mature, responsible, and reliable then there won't be any problems if that's what you're worried about.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 2:17 PM on November 15, 2015

Be you. Your confidence in clothes that feel like YOU is far more important than wearing what you think other people think you ought to wear - and feeling less confident as a result.
posted by stormyteal at 2:38 PM on November 15, 2015 [1 favorite]

Woman much older than you here:

I agree that it's fit and appropriateness that determine whether one looks ridiculous or not.

Dress for the body you have now. I've seen women over 30 who dress for the body they had ten years ago, not realizing that as one ages, bodies can change shape as well as size. If you used to be a ruler shape at 25 but you're more an apple shape now, dress accordingly. And get a bra fitting at a place like Nordstrom's which has good, trained fitters. Your cup and/or band size can change as you get older, and a well-fitted bra is so very very very very important for your look. (That goes quintuple if you're short-waisted and/or apple shaped. Ask me how I know!)

With your hair, again, if your skin tone changes or fades you want to adjust your hair color accordingly. If it's thinning, you want to cut and style it with this in mind. Many times, it's more flattering for women over a certain age to go lighter rather than darker, but YMMV depending on what your original hair color is. And I've known several women past 30 who rock the pink or purple hair!

I love makeup and would never consider giving it up. I had a consultation with a professional makeup artist last year, and she gave me this tip: iridescents and sparkles should be used sparingly because they accentuate lines and less-than-even skin tones. (And they are NOT something you want to wear to work whatever your age.)

You'll be fine if you dress in clothes that fit and are appropriate for the occasion. So very many women over 30 - way way over! - look lovely in vintage and/or flamboyant styles. Check out lovely, stylish, 93-year-old Iris Apfel.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 3:04 PM on November 15, 2015 [2 favorites]

I'm fifty and my preferred style looks like a hippy, a bag lady and a circus fortune-teller all got together and had a baby. I find most of my favorite stuff at thrift stores and one of my criteria for when I grab something off the rack is "does it hurt your eyes just a little bit to look at it?" I actually get the most compliments on the girliest stuff where I mix bright colors with flamboyant prints.

I'm sure there are people who think I look ridiculous, but I am who I am.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 5:00 PM on November 15, 2015 [4 favorites]

I'm 59. What Serene Empress Dork said. And Nthing everyone who said make sure your clothes fit well. For many years I wore clothes that were too large for me. I had no idea they were too large until my sister in law pointed out a dress I was trying on in her presence was too large. Somehow I had it stuck in my head that I was size X, although my body had changed as I had grown older.

Of course I have a few boring outfits in my closet for corporate interview situations--which I am nearly never in. And even for those occasions I have shoes or something else to wear with those outfits to make them mine. Mostly I wear things that make me happy. They are in no way age-appropriate; they are entirely me-appropriate, however, and I love wearing what I like and I hope you continue to wear what pleases you.
posted by Bella Donna at 5:33 PM on November 15, 2015

I dress like this all the time and nobody is fazed.
Frankly, if you don't work in corporate fields, nobody cares. The only way you end up looking bad is if you dress in hookerwear-type stuff (miniskirts and crop tops, super skimpy club wear) to work, because wearing that stuff makes people think "shouldn't you know better by now?"
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:09 PM on November 15, 2015

you will still be you, even when you are 30. Don't let a silly number change who you are and what your style is. Wear what feels good!
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 8:08 PM on November 15, 2015

Oh man, I wish I had a fashion sense that even wanted bright colors haha. Do you boo, wear whatever you want! As long as the material is good, and the cut fits you really well and the shoes and accessories are great quality, that's all that really matters. I love seeing people wear bright colors and patterns! My 50-something professor rocks purple tunics and bright copper jewelry like a badass.
posted by yueliang at 5:26 PM on November 16, 2015