Recognition (or lack thereof) at work
October 1, 2015 2:39 PM Subscribe
I feel like my work is not being recognized in favor of someone else (X) who is on the same project as I am. This does not seem deliberate from my boss, but he is remote, and this other person isn't very good at respecting boundaries. How do I approach this with my boss?
I apologize if this sounds completely rambly, but what I'm about to discuss happened about fifteen minutes ago, and I am trying to remain calm and not visibly upset. This is doubly hard to do with pregnancy hormones, but I am trying.
1. There are three of us (my boss, who is also X's boss was the team lead for our group; X, and myself) from the same group on this project. At the time we started, X and I were at the same level. The project is divided into four deliverables, with her responsibility being deliverables 1 and 3, and mine being 2 and 4.
2. Sometime early this year, X received a promotion for implementing new and improved procedures on deliverable 1. I commend her experience, and her achievement in this regard and acknowledge that this is not my area of expertise (deliverable 1). So now X is a level above me.
3. Due to time time constraints, my boss is phasing out of being team lead, and has nominated her to be team lead. Technically, I don't have issue with this...
...but I do need to make sure my boss knows the amount of work I've done outside of what she's done on deliverable 1. Our boss is remote, and is at our offices once a week. In the past six months, my workload has exponentially increased, primarily through my own initiative to spearhead certain activities that neither my boss nor X were working on (that are integral to the project) for deliverables 2,3,4. There two distinct administrative responsibilities that I do, and so far my boss has been sharing these responsibilities in a distant, purely supervisory role. I believe I've been doing a great job on these administrative roles that include liaison with an external business partner.
My boss has suggested that he still stay on one of the administrative roles and slowly phase out of that and let X take over his role but that means that X would be in a supervisory capacity over me, which I do not think is necessary or fair. In addition, he talked to her first and let her know and they discussed it... after which he called me over and informed me that the decision had been made. I felt blindsided and that this was unfair considering we're all on the team.
My existing concerns are that I was going to request a promotion based on my work in the past year anyway (I have been at the company about a year longer than X has, and am perfectly fine that I have not been promoted - I am the most junior member of the team and I am used to working for what I want). However, X is not my boss and I do not want to have to have her clear my decisions when I feel that I am capable of making them myself.
Special circumstances: I will be going on maternity leave right after deliverable 2 is taken care of, which means some of these activities would have transitioned to X anyway. There will be a second person to help out (because the project is a large one and needs two people). However, before this transfer of team lead happened, I was going to let things be as they were during maternity leave. Now, I feel like I am going to make sure I get ALL responsibilities back. There may be responsibilities that are difficult to transition back but this is important to me professional growth. As it is, going on maternity leave means I won't be able to meet some of my goals that are on a timeline and I have been going out of my way to make sure that I do extra now to ensure that my skills are showcased.
Am I being unreasonable to want to delineate who does what, especially because I'm going on maternity leave? I'm trying to be unemotional (goddamn it, Hormones!!) but given that I was already concerned about getting a promotion with going on maternity leave, this really hit where it hurt. I have a one-on-one with my boss this afternoon (coincidentally) and I need to bring this up with him but I'd like tips on how to best approach the fact that I'd like to preserve my autonomy on this project, as well as give him visibility on the work that he hasn't seen me do. Please help me think about this in a non-emotional way, in time for my meeting in two hours!
Thank you in advance!
I apologize if this sounds completely rambly, but what I'm about to discuss happened about fifteen minutes ago, and I am trying to remain calm and not visibly upset. This is doubly hard to do with pregnancy hormones, but I am trying.
1. There are three of us (my boss, who is also X's boss was the team lead for our group; X, and myself) from the same group on this project. At the time we started, X and I were at the same level. The project is divided into four deliverables, with her responsibility being deliverables 1 and 3, and mine being 2 and 4.
2. Sometime early this year, X received a promotion for implementing new and improved procedures on deliverable 1. I commend her experience, and her achievement in this regard and acknowledge that this is not my area of expertise (deliverable 1). So now X is a level above me.
3. Due to time time constraints, my boss is phasing out of being team lead, and has nominated her to be team lead. Technically, I don't have issue with this...
...but I do need to make sure my boss knows the amount of work I've done outside of what she's done on deliverable 1. Our boss is remote, and is at our offices once a week. In the past six months, my workload has exponentially increased, primarily through my own initiative to spearhead certain activities that neither my boss nor X were working on (that are integral to the project) for deliverables 2,3,4. There two distinct administrative responsibilities that I do, and so far my boss has been sharing these responsibilities in a distant, purely supervisory role. I believe I've been doing a great job on these administrative roles that include liaison with an external business partner.
My boss has suggested that he still stay on one of the administrative roles and slowly phase out of that and let X take over his role but that means that X would be in a supervisory capacity over me, which I do not think is necessary or fair. In addition, he talked to her first and let her know and they discussed it... after which he called me over and informed me that the decision had been made. I felt blindsided and that this was unfair considering we're all on the team.
My existing concerns are that I was going to request a promotion based on my work in the past year anyway (I have been at the company about a year longer than X has, and am perfectly fine that I have not been promoted - I am the most junior member of the team and I am used to working for what I want). However, X is not my boss and I do not want to have to have her clear my decisions when I feel that I am capable of making them myself.
Special circumstances: I will be going on maternity leave right after deliverable 2 is taken care of, which means some of these activities would have transitioned to X anyway. There will be a second person to help out (because the project is a large one and needs two people). However, before this transfer of team lead happened, I was going to let things be as they were during maternity leave. Now, I feel like I am going to make sure I get ALL responsibilities back. There may be responsibilities that are difficult to transition back but this is important to me professional growth. As it is, going on maternity leave means I won't be able to meet some of my goals that are on a timeline and I have been going out of my way to make sure that I do extra now to ensure that my skills are showcased.
Am I being unreasonable to want to delineate who does what, especially because I'm going on maternity leave? I'm trying to be unemotional (goddamn it, Hormones!!) but given that I was already concerned about getting a promotion with going on maternity leave, this really hit where it hurt. I have a one-on-one with my boss this afternoon (coincidentally) and I need to bring this up with him but I'd like tips on how to best approach the fact that I'd like to preserve my autonomy on this project, as well as give him visibility on the work that he hasn't seen me do. Please help me think about this in a non-emotional way, in time for my meeting in two hours!
Thank you in advance!
"which I do not think is necessary or fair"
Fair has nothing to do with it. Your boss thinks it's necessary. You're going to be out of the office,--are you going to meet the deliverable deadlines? When you say you won't be able to meet some goals--if those are personal, fine, but if you won't be able to meet team goals, your case is weakened.
I'll point out that you've taken on more responsibilities, are working successfully with outside contacts, and are excelling at working on the team.
Your co-worker's promotion isn't personal. Try not to take it that way--she's not promoted because your boss doesn't like you. It's business. Really work to see it that way.
posted by Ideefixe at 3:13 PM on October 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
Fair has nothing to do with it. Your boss thinks it's necessary. You're going to be out of the office,--are you going to meet the deliverable deadlines? When you say you won't be able to meet some goals--if those are personal, fine, but if you won't be able to meet team goals, your case is weakened.
I'll point out that you've taken on more responsibilities, are working successfully with outside contacts, and are excelling at working on the team.
Your co-worker's promotion isn't personal. Try not to take it that way--she's not promoted because your boss doesn't like you. It's business. Really work to see it that way.
posted by Ideefixe at 3:13 PM on October 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
Best answer: It's a tough one, because if your manager is not on site and he's transitioning you to someone who is on site, he may feel he's done the best thing for you and for the project-- particularly in light of your maternity leave.
What do you most want? That X not be made your manager? Or that you get the promotion? Or that your work is recognised? Or do you want to secure you have the tasks that matter to you professionally when you return?
I would think hard about your biggest goal for the one-on-one and focus on that goal. So if you most want the promotion, then you can aim at that: "Since I'm going on maternity leave soon, I'm a little concerned about my annual review-- particularly if you're stepping into a new role. I've accomplished quite a few things this year and I'd like to secure my growth within the company. I was hoping to be considered for a move from grade x to grade y. What do you think?" (I'm not sure this is a good strategy, because too much depends on your specific company and situation-- just an example.)
If you try to address every possible issue in the discussion then that will make you look more emotional than actually being emotion will-- if you get what I mean. Be focused and clear and give your boss something actionable to do (present him with the solution and not just the problem) and you have the best chance of succeeding.
Good luck.
posted by frumiousb at 3:14 PM on October 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
What do you most want? That X not be made your manager? Or that you get the promotion? Or that your work is recognised? Or do you want to secure you have the tasks that matter to you professionally when you return?
I would think hard about your biggest goal for the one-on-one and focus on that goal. So if you most want the promotion, then you can aim at that: "Since I'm going on maternity leave soon, I'm a little concerned about my annual review-- particularly if you're stepping into a new role. I've accomplished quite a few things this year and I'd like to secure my growth within the company. I was hoping to be considered for a move from grade x to grade y. What do you think?" (I'm not sure this is a good strategy, because too much depends on your specific company and situation-- just an example.)
If you try to address every possible issue in the discussion then that will make you look more emotional than actually being emotion will-- if you get what I mean. Be focused and clear and give your boss something actionable to do (present him with the solution and not just the problem) and you have the best chance of succeeding.
Good luck.
posted by frumiousb at 3:14 PM on October 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: What do you most want? That X not be made your manager? Or that you get the promotion? Or that your work is recognised? Or do you want to secure you have the tasks that matter to you professionally when you return
X was not slated to be my manager, although if she's team lead on the project, I'd have to run everything by her, which I don't think I need to do because I trust my judgment on my decisions - and she hasn't been involved in my activities. I think my boss will too, except he's remote so he doesn't see a lot of it.
I want all the other things mentioned - the promotion (on my own merit as a result of my work being recognized), and assurance that my responsibilities will be mine upon my return.
posted by Everydayville at 3:21 PM on October 1, 2015
X was not slated to be my manager, although if she's team lead on the project, I'd have to run everything by her, which I don't think I need to do because I trust my judgment on my decisions - and she hasn't been involved in my activities. I think my boss will too, except he's remote so he doesn't see a lot of it.
I want all the other things mentioned - the promotion (on my own merit as a result of my work being recognized), and assurance that my responsibilities will be mine upon my return.
posted by Everydayville at 3:21 PM on October 1, 2015
Oh, I see. I had thought she was to be made your manager, not just team lead. Then that point may be really hard to argue. If I was your manager and I had too little time and one of my key people is about to go on maternity leave, then I really would name someone on site who I know I trust to be the project lead.
The promotion would probably be easier for your manager then a promise about responsibilities when you return, depending on the length of the leave. At least I would be unwilling to do the second if it was a longer leave-- you don't know what changes over time.
posted by frumiousb at 3:33 PM on October 1, 2015
The promotion would probably be easier for your manager then a promise about responsibilities when you return, depending on the length of the leave. At least I would be unwilling to do the second if it was a longer leave-- you don't know what changes over time.
posted by frumiousb at 3:33 PM on October 1, 2015
Best answer: X was not slated to be my manager, although if she's team lead on the project, I'd have to run everything by her, which I don't think I should do because I trust my judgment on my decisions - and she hasn't been involved in my activities.
As I understand this: This project has an assigned team lead who is responsible for the project. And currently the team lead is your manager so your contributions must be approved by him. But now the team lead will be X so she will approve contributions instead.
I'm assuming you currently have no authority to make changes to the project without team lead approval? If this is the case, a change in team lead is not going to result in you getting extra authority. Asking for that or saying that this situation is "unfair" somehow is probably not going to fly.
Is the case that while the level of authority you have is unchanged, you're worried X will keep a closer eye on your contributions than your remote boss? You might consider that that is one reason X is being made the lead—that your boss is overstretched and can't give the project details the level of attention they need. But you could make the argument that you work very efficiently on this now and you're concerned that this may mean more time-consuming review that will reduce your efficiency.
posted by grouse at 3:37 PM on October 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
As I understand this: This project has an assigned team lead who is responsible for the project. And currently the team lead is your manager so your contributions must be approved by him. But now the team lead will be X so she will approve contributions instead.
I'm assuming you currently have no authority to make changes to the project without team lead approval? If this is the case, a change in team lead is not going to result in you getting extra authority. Asking for that or saying that this situation is "unfair" somehow is probably not going to fly.
Is the case that while the level of authority you have is unchanged, you're worried X will keep a closer eye on your contributions than your remote boss? You might consider that that is one reason X is being made the lead—that your boss is overstretched and can't give the project details the level of attention they need. But you could make the argument that you work very efficiently on this now and you're concerned that this may mean more time-consuming review that will reduce your efficiency.
posted by grouse at 3:37 PM on October 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
You haven't said anything that indicates that this person doesn't deserve to be promoted and the decision has already been made. So what outcome are you hoping for here? I think it's fair to ask your boss about your own future at the company, but do yourself a favour and don't make it about your coworker's promotion.
posted by futureisunwritten at 3:45 PM on October 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by futureisunwritten at 3:45 PM on October 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
Best answer: I think that irrespective of maternity leave, you can never be sure that your job description and responsibilities will remain the same over time. I can't imagine how your boss could promise that your responsibilities will not change when you return.
That said they can't demote you for leaving on maternity leave. But I also can't imagine that they'd promote you right now. They just promoted someone else. That sucks and it's crummy and it may or may not be fair but it is, and I think that tonight might be a good night for some serious R&R: a hot bath, a fun book, a nice meal, whatever.
And then tomorrow or Monday I'd talk to my boss and my new project manager about what I've been doing and how I'm planning to make things very smooth to hand off and pick back up after my leave. I have a friend who works and is climbing the ladder hardcore at a Fortune 500 and she's going on maternity leave soon. She talked to all the women she knew who were known to handle their leave well about how they did it and they all said the same thing: be prepared and set everyone up well to handle your job while you're gone. Make transition plans and train or coach people in what you do if necessary. Good planning will go a very long way towards getting you right back on track when you return.
Best of luck. And congrats on your upcoming addition.
posted by sockermom at 3:49 PM on October 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
That said they can't demote you for leaving on maternity leave. But I also can't imagine that they'd promote you right now. They just promoted someone else. That sucks and it's crummy and it may or may not be fair but it is, and I think that tonight might be a good night for some serious R&R: a hot bath, a fun book, a nice meal, whatever.
And then tomorrow or Monday I'd talk to my boss and my new project manager about what I've been doing and how I'm planning to make things very smooth to hand off and pick back up after my leave. I have a friend who works and is climbing the ladder hardcore at a Fortune 500 and she's going on maternity leave soon. She talked to all the women she knew who were known to handle their leave well about how they did it and they all said the same thing: be prepared and set everyone up well to handle your job while you're gone. Make transition plans and train or coach people in what you do if necessary. Good planning will go a very long way towards getting you right back on track when you return.
Best of luck. And congrats on your upcoming addition.
posted by sockermom at 3:49 PM on October 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Just to clarify (and I said this up there) is that I do commend X on her achievement and experience and acknowledge that the work her promotion was based on is not my area of expertise.
I think what is not sitting well is that I wasn't a part of this transition discussion, and that I feel that my achievements are somehow being diminished and not recognized, as evidenced by my boss indicating that she'd be sitting on something I can easily handle (and have been handling in his absence).
Also, my boss is at a senior director level, while X is a manager level. That makes X just one level higher than I am (and the demarcation is a gray area at best - I have a doctorate, she doesn't, she has two more years of experience over me, and we both started out the same level at this company). That makes our boss about four levels ahead of both of us. My boss has praised my quality of work and has never brought any issues to my attention.
Apologies for thread sitting - I have my 1-on-1 in half an hour and am attempting to clarify my own thoughts based on input received here. Thanks again to all that have weighed in... please keep it coming.
posted by Everydayville at 3:55 PM on October 1, 2015
I think what is not sitting well is that I wasn't a part of this transition discussion, and that I feel that my achievements are somehow being diminished and not recognized, as evidenced by my boss indicating that she'd be sitting on something I can easily handle (and have been handling in his absence).
Also, my boss is at a senior director level, while X is a manager level. That makes X just one level higher than I am (and the demarcation is a gray area at best - I have a doctorate, she doesn't, she has two more years of experience over me, and we both started out the same level at this company). That makes our boss about four levels ahead of both of us. My boss has praised my quality of work and has never brought any issues to my attention.
Apologies for thread sitting - I have my 1-on-1 in half an hour and am attempting to clarify my own thoughts based on input received here. Thanks again to all that have weighed in... please keep it coming.
posted by Everydayville at 3:55 PM on October 1, 2015
Stop focusing on what happened that you disagree with and definitely stop focusing on your co-worker's promotion.
What do you want to happen now? I haven't really seen much in the way of positive changes you want other than a promotion. If that's all you want, then focus on that. Figure out how to best lay out the case for your promotion.
Remember that at most organizations, promotions are not really given for merit and certainly not for recognition of previous work. Promotions are to fulfill the needs of the organization and those making the promotion (like your senior director). Chiefly that is either because there is some additional responsibility the organization needs someone to take care of, or because they want to retain a valued employee. Since you aren't really in a position to take on additional responsibility right now, focus on illustrating why you are an employee they want to retain. If they aren't willing to do it now, ask what it would take and when you can be reviewed. Good luck!
posted by grouse at 4:15 PM on October 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
What do you want to happen now? I haven't really seen much in the way of positive changes you want other than a promotion. If that's all you want, then focus on that. Figure out how to best lay out the case for your promotion.
Remember that at most organizations, promotions are not really given for merit and certainly not for recognition of previous work. Promotions are to fulfill the needs of the organization and those making the promotion (like your senior director). Chiefly that is either because there is some additional responsibility the organization needs someone to take care of, or because they want to retain a valued employee. Since you aren't really in a position to take on additional responsibility right now, focus on illustrating why you are an employee they want to retain. If they aren't willing to do it now, ask what it would take and when you can be reviewed. Good luck!
posted by grouse at 4:15 PM on October 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: To everyone that weighed in - thank you.
Update: My boss was really great. Before I could bring up anything, the first thing he said to me was, "I want to make sure you're okay with this change." He then went on to say that he's planning activities for me for when I return from maternity leave, not just for my current project but also outside of it for my own professional development.
My assumption that my work was unrecognized was wrong - he did say that him and our VP were impressed with how I've stepped up to take initiative and responsibility and that I was one of the stronger members of the group. I don't believe these were just patronizing words, because my boss is a reticent man not given to undue praise, and he addressed each of my concerns with specific solutions. I went in with a list of my own accomplishments, a high-level plan for my transition and also a request for a preliminary transition plan for when I return. Nothing about my coworker! And I didn't get emotional! Yay!
Now to go home and relax with my feet up. Thanks again, all.
posted by Everydayville at 5:24 PM on October 1, 2015 [16 favorites]
Update: My boss was really great. Before I could bring up anything, the first thing he said to me was, "I want to make sure you're okay with this change." He then went on to say that he's planning activities for me for when I return from maternity leave, not just for my current project but also outside of it for my own professional development.
My assumption that my work was unrecognized was wrong - he did say that him and our VP were impressed with how I've stepped up to take initiative and responsibility and that I was one of the stronger members of the group. I don't believe these were just patronizing words, because my boss is a reticent man not given to undue praise, and he addressed each of my concerns with specific solutions. I went in with a list of my own accomplishments, a high-level plan for my transition and also a request for a preliminary transition plan for when I return. Nothing about my coworker! And I didn't get emotional! Yay!
Now to go home and relax with my feet up. Thanks again, all.
posted by Everydayville at 5:24 PM on October 1, 2015 [16 favorites]
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