Dealing with the first white/gray hairs... trichotillomania edition.

September 8, 2015 9:37 AM

Tips for dealing with the first white/gray hairs... hair pulling trigger warning.

I am in my mid 30s and have long (mid-back length) naturally very black hair that I do not dye. I only recently noticed some long gray/white hairs randomly scattered in my hair (mostly throughout the underside), have been pulling them, and this has re-triggered my trichotillomania urges and obsessive "I need to check my hair/scalp" urges big time. I think it's a combination of the texture, and the "it's not supposed to be there" feelings and thoughts. ANy recommendations on dying methods or conditioning treatments to help? A quick google gives tips for dying hair at 20% gray... but this is not even 1% gray probably. Your comments appreciated as any more googling on my end will make me a little more crazy and anxious which doesn't help the trich thing. :)

FWIW, the trich issues I had in the past were mild bare patch-wise, but very obsessive/consuming, and treated with a combination of meds and therapy/anixety reduction techniques. Am trying to employ the anxiety techniques but this flare up right now is really bad.

posted by ArgyleMarionette to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (6 answers total)

Best answer: I cannot comment on the trich issues, and I think this does warrant circling back with whomever treated you in the past, but regarding dying, I think the easiest thing to do would be to set up an appointment with a colorist at a salon. Even 1% of gray hair is something that many women with long dark hair want to camouflage so any experienced colorist will be familiar with the best way to do that. I would imagine that turning over responsibility for selecting a dye procedure and carrying it out to a professional could only be helpful in quieting the compulsive thoughts and urges, as well.
posted by telegraph at 9:43 AM on September 8, 2015 [2 favorites]

Best answer: Sorry to hear about the flareup. I hope this is useful: my first instinct, and I think anyone's!, was to pull out the offenders. But someone older told me: grey hair is much thicker than your regular hair, and when it grows back, the stump will stick out from the rest of your hair. For me that was an excellent motivation not to scratch the itch.
posted by Dashy at 9:51 AM on September 8, 2015

Best answer: I started coloring waaaaaay before 20%. Go see a colorist.
posted by quince at 10:16 AM on September 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

Best answer: as a fellow trich sufferer, i remind myself every time that when my mom kept plucking all her white hairs they grew back and stood straight up from her scalp until they were almost 3 inches long - like crazy bright white antennae, which called even more attention to the greying. it at least keeps me from obsessively checking.

i nth the idea of going to a salon and having them deal with it.
posted by nadawi at 11:28 AM on September 8, 2015

Best answer: You might still be drawn to the coarse hairs even if they're no longer white. But if you go to a salon and get a killer color and cut, you might be able to ignore the urges because you don't want to ruin your look or because you spent alot of money or whatever. My trich (eyebrows) was pretty well controlled by regular eyebrow waxing, I liked the results they got when I hadn't been messing with them which helped to strengthen my resolve. I've backslid in recent times but it's a trick that worked for me for awhile anyhow.
posted by cabingirl at 11:45 AM on September 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

I have the same problem, except my white hairs are at the front so much easier to see and pull. I can tell by feel which ones they are, so pull unconsciously sometimes.
However I found dyeing it does help for me because I am less fixated on my hair. There are some hair dyes that come in mascara-like wands that may cover them if you're just a bit streaky. Good luck!
posted by indienial at 4:52 AM on September 9, 2015