Reading recommendations about death of a friend
August 12, 2015 4:16 AM Subscribe
A close friend of mine committed suicide recently and I'm struggling to process all my feelings about it. Reading about other people's experiences usually helps me, but I've been having trouble finding books that fit what I'm looking for.
There are many books about losing loved ones--parents, spouses, children--but I can't seem to find many about losing a friend. Sarah Manguso's "Guardians: Elegy for a Friend" is pretty much perfect, but it is short and grief is a long process.
I'm looking for books (or articles) about the loss of a friend, or about the loss of a loved one to suicide. I usually prefer books on the literary side. Memoir is good, but fiction could work too. I'd prefer to stay away from self-help books, but if there's something particularly excellent, I'll definitely consider it.
Thank you all in advance.
There are many books about losing loved ones--parents, spouses, children--but I can't seem to find many about losing a friend. Sarah Manguso's "Guardians: Elegy for a Friend" is pretty much perfect, but it is short and grief is a long process.
I'm looking for books (or articles) about the loss of a friend, or about the loss of a loved one to suicide. I usually prefer books on the literary side. Memoir is good, but fiction could work too. I'd prefer to stay away from self-help books, but if there's something particularly excellent, I'll definitely consider it.
Thank you all in advance.
Best answer: When I was in your shoes last summer, a friend sent me this short piece by Andrew W. K. It helped her when she was in my shoes, it helped me, and I hope it will help you. I'm so sorry for your loss.
posted by thejoshu at 4:49 AM on August 12, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by thejoshu at 4:49 AM on August 12, 2015 [1 favorite]
Dry by Augustan Burroughs is very good and focuses on his best friend's death and how he went off the rails. It might speak to you.
posted by pairofshades at 4:52 AM on August 12, 2015
posted by pairofshades at 4:52 AM on August 12, 2015
Best answer: All My Puny Sorrows, by Miriam Toews, is an exquisite novel about a pair of sisters, one of whom repeatedly attempts suicide (and finally succeeds), and the surviving sister's understanding. It is brutal, beautiful, and heartbreaking, while also being incredibly compassionate, loving, and hopeful. I cannot recommend it highly enough.
posted by amelioration at 5:32 AM on August 12, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by amelioration at 5:32 AM on August 12, 2015 [6 favorites]
If you're open to movie recommendations, I really recommend The Barbarian Invasions, which isn't exactly on point but I think is really good about varying responses to the death of a dear friend.
Also, have you read this thread? There is a lot of wisdom in it, even though, again, it is not precisely on point with your question.
posted by janey47 at 9:46 AM on August 12, 2015
Also, have you read this thread? There is a lot of wisdom in it, even though, again, it is not precisely on point with your question.
posted by janey47 at 9:46 AM on August 12, 2015
Best answer: Here are a couple of articles with reviews of books that you might find helpful and links to others. Of the books that are discussed that I have read, I think the reviews are spot on.
posted by janey47 at 1:18 PM on August 12, 2015
posted by janey47 at 1:18 PM on August 12, 2015
The website Modern Loss has a few articles on the loss of loved ones to suicide (though it doesn't look like there are any about friends specifically), and many essays about processing and experiencing grief.
posted by terooot at 2:09 PM on August 12, 2015
posted by terooot at 2:09 PM on August 12, 2015
Stories are a great way to help process your own emotions. I highly recommend this beautiful, poignant essay by David Sedaris about his sister’s suicide. If you're open to YA, check out Jay Asher's Thirteen Reasons Why and John Green's Looking for Alaska.
posted by Catenation at 4:08 PM on August 12, 2015
posted by Catenation at 4:08 PM on August 12, 2015
I'm sorry for your loss. Nicholas Wolterstorff is an amazing philosopher. He lost a son and wrote a reflective book on it called Lament for a Son. It's not about suicide, but it is a moving reflection on loss and grieving.
posted by persona au gratin at 3:56 AM on August 13, 2015
posted by persona au gratin at 3:56 AM on August 13, 2015
Best answer: I really love this article by Andrew Solomon, who wrote The Noonday Demon: An Atlas On Depression. It's touching and so beautifully written.
posted by zoomorphic at 9:53 AM on August 14, 2015
posted by zoomorphic at 9:53 AM on August 14, 2015
Best answer: I'm sorry. I came to recommend Karen Green's "Bough Down," written after David Foster Wallace's suicide.
posted by MrBobinski at 6:49 PM on August 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by MrBobinski at 6:49 PM on August 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Thank you all for your wonderful suggestions. I have marked as best answer the suggestions that were most helpful to me, but all of them are great. Thank you. I read "All My Puny Sorrows" over the course of 24 hours and I only wish I had not read it so I could read it all over again with fresh eyes. I'm planning on getting "Bough Down" next.
posted by gnar_gnar at 4:09 AM on August 19, 2015
posted by gnar_gnar at 4:09 AM on August 19, 2015
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by SkinsOfCoconut at 4:43 AM on August 12, 2015 [1 favorite]